Ok - so NOT as wildly optimistic as I was during my post... I am still feeling well, feeling mainly bored with tons of energy - until I actually try to do something. First major time it hit me was Sunday night when I tried to go grocery shopping on my own. I had to pause twice in the store, and as SOON as I got back to the car and had the groceries loaded, I just sat in the drivers seat to rest. Described it to a friend at work and he's the one that coined the phrase that I'm using for this blog entry title.

So - at least when I got home from shopping, I told Dan the truth (and let him have his "I told you so") - as well as calling my boss and telling her that I'll be out a bit more. I WANT to go in. I WANT to do things... until I get 5 minutes into something (oh, like washing dishes) when I hit a wall. So yesterday (Monday), I stayed home and paced myself (both cause I had to and cause Dan would have killed me if I didn't). Got up, had a good breakfast, read news, napped. Got up, had lunch, did a little dishes, napped. At least to make sure I'm not sleeping the whole day away, I'm setting the alarm so the naps are only 60-90 minutes.

I did call my doctor yesterday and set up the first of my appointments - tomorrow at 11AM. I almost called first thing this morning as I was feeling like shit - slight headache and stomach pains. The stomach was mainly acid I think as eating plus taking my morning pills (which include previcid) helped a TON - and I think the headache was more caffeine based as a cup of coffee helped that. But it was scary waking up like that because I wasn't totally sure what the heck was going on. One other factor is that my spleen once again feels very large....

Hmmm... not sure if I mentioned the spleen yet. It's one of the symptoms of the CLL Leukemia - an enlarged spleen. Before last week, I couldn't tell you where my spleen was, how big it should be, what the heck it is - nothing other than "Oh ya, I've heard of that part." But when I first got to the hospital, one of the things they noticed was my spleen was very enlarged. Normally, the spleen is on your left side and is smallish (fist-sized?) and barely going a little lower than your soft-ribs. Mine when I checked in was MUCH bigger, not only going down to the level of my belly-button. Also, when I lay flat on my back, instead of the left and right sides of my abdomen being level, my left side was about an INCH higher than my right. Now by the time I checked out, it was still down to my bellybutton, but it was only bulging like 1/4 inch.

Last night, it's back to at least an inch thicker, but also now instead of flat, it's more... bulged. It's like if before you could simulate my belly by putting your left hand on your left part of your abdomen and that was the bulge - about the size and thickness. But now, instead of a flat hand, it's slightly rounded hand. It doesn't hurt, except when I've got a bit of gas (which with my pills, is frequently).

I still feel good overall. My mood took a bit of hit this morning because I had THOUGHT I was getting better... but the "reality" of leukemia is starting to hit. Last week, I got ... lucky? by quick prognosis, quick start to treatment, and very mild reaction to the treatment (I still haven't gotten hit by nausea, but in part due to taking daily anti-nausea drugs). At this point, I don't know when I'll go back to the office - possibly tomorrow after the doctor's appointment but at this point, I'm not planning anything other than playing things by ear.