Forming attachments and the danger therin

[Graeme]

There are days when I'm perfectly comfortable with my physical self and there are days when I wish my virtual self would pop into reality. That isn't to say that my virtual self doesn't ever manifest itself in reality.

One profound incident was the last night that I spent in my old apartment (a little more than a month ago) where my friend Melissa and I had a good banter about her softball team. The background story is that she has spent the past two years on the bench while helping her teammates keep their grades up, and the only reason she will continue to play next year is that she might get to play next year. She was defending herself while I more or less attacked her (attacked is too strong... we were joking mostly while I got the point across that she's wasting her time, especially being a Physical Therapy major) and made her realize through jokes (benchwarmer, team bitch, splinters, water girl, etc.) that there was no point in continuing to be with the team. Essentially I was on a role and I'd never been so publicly outspoken before. I think maybe it had just been incubating throughout the year, what with her taking early classes the entire year since practice was during the afternoon, and always having to turn in early.

 

Then there are the days when I would relish the opportunity to be alone. I've mentioned before that on a few occasions I've sealed myself off from the outside world and was "myself" until someone came back. I like doing that.

To answer the question, I wish the internet me was true more than the real me, more often than not.

If you're like me, you'll find your outgoing "self" (eg. the one on the internet) appearing in situations where you're relaxed and/or confident. I'm guessing you're probably outgoing when the topic of conversation is cars, because that's a topic where you know what you're talking about. You know you're not going to make a fool of yourself

 

With Melissa, it sounds like you knew you could say those things without damaging your friendship. This allowed you to say what you wanted to say.

 

As time goes on, I think you'll find there are more and more times when you'll be comfortable being outgoing. I remember one time at a management course I went to where they were discussing different personalities (in the context of how to manage staff) and there was a general feeling of disbelief when I declared myself to be introverted. It was because I was relaxed that I felt able to actively participate -- something I wouldn't have been able to do a few years earlier.

 

Yes, I wish I could be more extroverted, too, but I'm who I am and I'm overall happy with that person.

[ashessnow]

SO, well said Krista, and Nero! That's pretty much exactly how I feel too.

Me and Krista well said? What? Thank you!

[Morganx]

Next Wednesday June 13^th marks the third anniversary of my son's death.

I know today must be a horrible day, just thinking about you.

[rknapp]

I'm guessing you're probably outgoing when the topic of conversation is cars

 

I can get passionate at times... regardless of who is in the room.

 

 

To Mark: I wish you the best on the worst of anniversaries. I almost feel selfish considering that we just celebrated the 5th anniversary of my mother's cancer diagnosis, as that is the date the surgeon used to declared her officially cured.

Edited June 14, 2007 by rknapp

[MMandM]

I can get passionate at times... regardless of who is in the room.

 

 

To Mark: I wish you the best on the worst of anniversaries. I almost feel selfish considering that we just celebrated the 5th anniversary of my mother's cancer diagnosis, as that is the date the surgeon used to declared her officially cured.

 

Thank you for that my friend. I consider June 13^th my sons angel day.

 

 

Good to hear about your moms cancer is in remission. Best wishes.

[Conner]

" 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

 

This is a line from the poem 'In Memorium 22' by Alfred Lord Tennyson. He goes back a bit. He, too, had lost a very good friend and wrote the In Memorium series to honour his friend and express his loss.

 

Conner