Imagine Question For 12/15

[Comicality]

 

Love.

What is it, really? How do you recognize it when it's real? How do you know when it's fake? Is it more illusion than actual emotion? Or is there something really special there that you find yourself wanting to hold on to?

Now...I know, I know..."I don't know what love is and I've never experienced it before so who cares?" I mean...come on. You guys have got to try to give me a little bit more than that this time around. Struggle with it this time around. What does love mean to you? If you truly believe that you've never been in love before...then what is it that you're looking for? What's going to take to finally make you a believer? Or...is it just not a thing? That's always possible too.

If you're with somebody special...when do you think it's appropriate to bring out the 'L' word? Obviously, you can't just spend one night with somebody and give them your heart forever and call it love. Then again, if you have strong feelings for them, a level of trust, a close friendship...then what are you waiting for? When do you know that it's love? Not, "Omigod, he's so hot!" Not infatuation. Not security or beating the idea of being alone. But love?

When do you know it? When do you surrender to it? And when do you say it? Let's have a conversation about this, because I'd love to hear what you guys have to say about this one!

If you've been in love before...did you realize it? Did you tell the other person how you felt? And if you haven't been in love before...what was it that you thought was lacking? What will break down your walls and realize love when you see it...if anything? Let us know!

[Comicality]

Have I really ever been in love? I most definitely have! Quite a number of times. Now, to some people that sounds like I just fall head over heels for every pretty face that comes my way, but I promise you that it's not like that at all. In fact, there were people that I was sure that I was in love with when I was a teenager or in college that have since been scratched off of that list. I was totally convinced when I was in the moment...but I think that was the problem. It only lasted for that one moment. I was heavily infatuated, sure. And I had fun that I don't regret at all. But my very idea of love had to mature before I could really gauge what my heart was feeling and how authentic it was. It can't just be somebody intensely attractive, or somebody funny, or somebody 'available', or somebody that I can sleep with. It has to involve more than that, and the only way for me to figure that out was through trial and error. So, yes...I've had my heart broken on more than one occasion. And it hurt. God, did it ever hurt. But you know...if you don't risk anything, then you can't be rewarded with anything. And if I only work up enough love and trust to risk a little bit...then how can I expect to get anything more than a little bit in return? I think it's more of a "go hard or go home" kind of thing. Do it, or don't do it. You know?

I think I found out real love was when even the bad things made me want to hold on to them for as long as I could. When I was willing to sacrifice for them. Humiliate myself for them. And put my trust in them, even when I was so hurt and afraid that I had to hold myself together to keep from feeling like I ruined my whole life. It's hard to explain, but I definitely appreciate the stars above that I was able to feel that a few times in my life...so far.

I'm not searching for another boyfriend, but if one falls out of the sky one day, I won't turn it down. What can I say? I live for love. I'm a romantic at heart...as if you couldn't read my stories and tell that already. Hehehe!

When do I say the words out loud to someone that I have those all encompassing feelings for? I sort of have to come to that realization for myself first, and then I look to see if my feelings are reflected in the thoughts and actions of whoever I'm with. They don't have to be a super model, or crazy rich, or a slim and trim guy with sexy abs, or a highly provocative intellectual. I mean, those things are all bonuses sure...but I just want someone that I can share some time with. Talk to. Someone who can make me laugh once in a while and who likes to enjoy life and have some FUN. That's all. Finding a like minded individual that I can love, flaws and all, who is willing to do the same for me...is more than enough.

Once I see that? I might be nervous for a while before I make any big confessions...but I'd tell them. Definitely. I've made mistakes in the past, and I've been scarred by some of the people that I was falling really hard for. Maybe even permanently. But it happened to me more than once, I loved and enjoyed every moment of it, and I look forward to doing it again someday. That's love to me, personally. Actually finding the one you want badly enough to put the work in. That's how you know it's special. That's how you know it's real.