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Everything posted by Comicality

  1. "No you can't, Comsie!" Of COURSE I can! Here...watch!!! (Three Seconds Later) ***CRASH!!!*** AHHHHHH!!! Omigod! Oh...oh God! Get me a doctor! I need...I need like SIX doctors! Tell them to bring a stretcher...and a MOP! Oh God! Oh Jesus, the pain! I can't even....aaaccckkk! Is that a bone? Am I supposed to be bleeding this much? I don't even know what that thing IS over there by that park bench, but I'm pretty sure it belongs on the inside of my body, not flopping around on the ground! Hurts so much! Omigod! Why is my arm on backwards? Somebody find my shoe! Oh God! I thought I had more ribs than this, originally! Oh god! Where are those doctors???
  2. Is it just going to be the three of us tonight? (Raises Eyebrow) Ahem...
  3. A brand new chapter of the zombie apocalypse themed series is now available on the site! Check it out, and let me know what you think when you get a chance! K? Enjoy! And I'll seezya soon! And I had SO much fun in the chat with you guys Saturday night! LOL! I couldn't even force myself to leave! Thanks to all of you who dropped by! I really loved having you there with me! We'll do it again soon! https://gayauthors.org/story/comicality/shelter/
  4. Chapter 22: "A Test Of Faith" The long line into the cafeteria was moving extremely slow tonight. And I was getting worried that Spencer's spastic shivers were going to draw some much unwanted attention to his situation. He was limply holding on to my right hand, and I was doing what I could to silently comfort him...but as he pressed his boyish face up against the meat of my arm, I have to admit to being a little nervous about having him so close. I mean, not even the soldiers and doctors really know how this thing works exactly. Who's susceptible to the zombie virus and who's not. Or if it even is a virus. And they don't know which kids might be prime targets for turning into one of those things out there and which ones aren't. If what they were saying is anywhere near being true...we may not be able to trust half the people in this place. Hell, I don't even know if I can trust myself at this point! And if Spencer were to suddenly grip my hand tighter and turn his head to take a giant chunk out of my arm right now...there really wouldn't be much that I could do about it. Step by step, we got closer to getting ourselves a tray. I kept thinking that maybe things would be better if I could just get him something to eat and maybe lay him back down to sleep again. Maybe he was just...having an 'episode', you know? Oh God, I hope Cain doesn't find out about this! I'm not saying that my big brother is heartless...but he has a very easygoing time of making a decision when it comes to a question like, 'it's either you...or me.' He'd throw Spencer to the wolves in a heartbeat if he felt it was in our best interest...proof or no proof. Let's hope it never comes to that. "Alright, we've got cover for you positioned on the roof..." Said the officer from before, re-entering the hallway as more soldiers came quickly parading past us. "...Seargent Brower was very specific in his orders, so commit this to memory." Three or four soldiers stopped to hear him out and receive their official orders. "We want arms guarding the South entrance, you'll have heavy support from elevated positions on the roof. You clear as many of those things as you possibly can to provide them safe entry, but remember to conserve your ammo. Until we're able to go out on a scavenger hunt for more, we're dealing with borrowed stock." "So...we're letting them in? All of them?" Another soldier asked. "We're going to get them inside the gate for protection...but ONLY inside the gate!" He said. "You stop those trucks and trailers as soon as we can close off the perimeter. Stay vigilant. Anybody tries to get any further inside? You light 'em up. Make sure they know that before they try anything funny." He turned to one of the others and added, "Sarge says he wants a small team to set up a fully functional triage in the high school parking lot for anyone who might be wounded. Grab doctors and nurses that are alert! Preferably ones than have only been working for six hours or less today. We need them to be thorough. No mistakes." And then...with a grim tone of voice, he looked each and every one of them in the eye...and he said, "If we have anyone who's been bitten...anyone in the process of turning...someone's mother, someone's father, son, daughter, husband, wife...you know what to do. Are we clear?" "Yes, Sir..." They said quietly in response. "There are no second chances in here, ladies and gentlemen. You see a hostile? You put them down. Hard. No questions. We can't afford to have any bleeding hearts for the infected. Not now. not here. You make sure you do what needs to be done, and be quick about it. Their friends and family can cry later..." The absolute horror of that command hadn't fully taken a hold of me before Spencer began to cough again. Violently, this time. Almost to the point of gagging on his own mucous, and clutching onto my arm with a death grip that nearly cut off my blood circulation. I looked up, and felt an icy grip of fear take me over as the officer and the other soldiers turned to see what the disturbance was. I tried to get Spencer to let go of me, and pried my arm away from him to lightly pat him on the back and put a fake smirk on my face as I tried to keep my voice from trembling. "You ok, dude? You didn't swallow that whole Jolly Rancher candy, did ya? I told you, you've got to slow down with that stuff...heh..." Had I been Spencer's dad, I could have had some level of confidence in my ability to protect him if they decided to come over and question us about what was wrong with him. But, I didn't have any power at all in this place. None. If they got too suspicious, they might lock both me and Spencer up in the basement with some of the other kids that I haven't seen walking around here lately. I made the mistake of peeking up at the soldiers again, and they were staring right back at me. Shit! Shit, shit, shit! Thinking as quickly as I could, I patted Spencer on the back again, and I stepped out of the dinner line, pulling him with me. "C'mon, bud. Let's get you some water to help wash that down. K?" We would have to walk right past them in the hallway, which made me extremely tense...but at least I thought not to glance up into their eyes a second time to give myself away. "There's a water fountain right at the end of the next hall. I'll show you." And as we squeezed our way by them, I fought valiantly to resist the urge to look back over my shoulder to see if they were watching us. Or even worse...following us. Luckily, I seemed to have dodged a bullet with that one. "I need my dad..." Spencer whimpered softly, coughing again. "It's ok. We're gonna find him and make sure that he knows your alright. K? Just...try to stay...'healthy', or whatever for now." I don't know if I was comfortable watching him anymore. I really didn't. The more he shakes and shivers at my side...the more worried I become. We walked to the end of the hall and turned the corner to get out of the soldiers' sight, and that's when I noticed a bit of commotion coming from further away. People congregating, talking, some complaining, some crying. And then there were others who were just crowding around to see what was going on. As Spencer and I headed towards the ruckus, I could hear military personnel shouting, "Ok, we need EVERYBODY to take a few steps back! Press your shoulders up against the lockers and make room! Let us do our job!" I peeked around the corner, and I could see all of the double side doors by the gym on the South end of the school standing wide open. They must have been working pretty fast, because it seemed as if they were unloading the 18-wheeler truck and the accompanying trailers at record speeds. There was a lot of communication going on outside. Where did they come from? How did they get here? Who told them about this shelter? Has anybody been hurt? Has anybody been bitten? Were there more of them? It nearly made me dizzy to try to listen to all of them, barking questions at the new arrivals all at once...much less trying to take time to hear the answers. But after we were close enough to get a hint of what was really going on here...I happened to take notice of a familiar sight, just on the other side of the hallway. The playful bounce and flutter of a mop of dark brown hair as little Preston tried to jump up as high as he could to see over everybody else's shoulders in the crowd. It was then that I noticed the rest of my 'shelter family' standing nearby. Even Donovan had reappeared to see what was going on. Alex was craning his neck to see if he could possibly recognize any of the faces of the people who were being released and allowed to come inside for a full exam by our doctors in the lab, and Walker seemed to be simply leaning against the wall with his head down...sulking in silence as he seemed to be struggling to make sense of the world, and possibly reality itself, all over again from scratch. I moved closer to them, but also wanted to make sure that I was keeping a close eye on Spencer at the same time. I couldn't afford for us to get separated, not even for a minute. I can't say that I have any kind of 'plan' as to what to do with him just yet...but it doesn't involve him getting a friggin' bullet in the head just for being a little sick, that's for sure. I don't know...maybe his dad, Officer Logan, will know what to do...if I can find him before he goes out on his supply run into the city. We had to do a little pushing to get over to the lockers on the opposite side of the hallway, and once Alex turned his head to see my face...he smiled...and everything seemed right with the world again. Ugh! My brain just won't let me believe that I was just passionately kissing those deep pink lips of his just a little while ago! "Hey..." I smiled, blushing slightly. "Hey, back at ya..." Alex gave me a sexy grin of his own, and we stared into each other's eyes for an extended moment before I felt Preston frantically tapping me on the shoulder. "They found some more people that didn't get chewed up! Look!" He squeaked. We were all sort of interested as they came wandering in, each one being escorted by a soldier to head straight to the infirmary. These weren't military rescues at all. It was more like...just everyday citizens that wanted to do something good for somebody else, and help out in a time of crisis. There's something really noble about that, in my opinion. However...as I saw Alex standing on his tiptoes and examining the faces of every single person that walked by us, I could tell that he was still desperately hoping that his parents would be among the refugees that were saved from such a deadly and chaotic situation. Praying that he could actually witness them walking through those open doors so he could put his most potent fears to rest. I know how he feels. I mean, I've been trying my hardest to postpone the agony of possibly losing my parents to this deadly apocalypse...distraction and denial being my only weapons against the onset of panic and full blown hysteria...but every time I see Alex worried about his family...I start to worry about my own. And I don't like that feeling. I'd much rather focus on maintaining a sense of hope within me. My parents are ok. We're all ok. And soon...my mom and dad are going to walk through those open doors the same way Cain and his friend Jamie did when they were rescued by the troops in this facility. I have faith in the idea that this group of new refugees will be safe, and I have faith that Spencer will get over his current illness and turn out to be alright in the end. There's nothing wrong with having faith, right? Even in a nasty situation like this one... ...Where the odds are definitely not in our favor. "Coming through. Coming through. Give us some room..." Said a few medics, wheeling someone down the middle of the hall on a stretcher to take them to the infirmary. We all had to step aside, but...when I looked up, I saw a look come over Donovan's face that I had never seen before. It almost...wow...it almost looked like he was happy for once. Did he recognize the older guy on the stretcher? Or did he...? Wait... As he turned his head forward, Donovan caught sight of another boy with matted down, blond hair...a bit disheveled and looking as though he had to go through hell to make it here. His clothes were ripped, and his face was covered in dirt and dust...but Donovan stepped forward as though he didn't even notice. And with a strained voice, Donovan quietly said, "Stephen?" The boy glanced up at him with sad eyes for a moment, seeming to follow the guy on the stretcher, which I was assuming was his father or a close relative. Donovan stepped further forward and said, "Stephen...holy shit! You're ok?" He reached out to hug the younger boy around the shoulders, but despite his obvious familiarity with who Donovan was...he seemed to almost cringe from his touch. He looked up at him, and it almost seemed as if he was about to cry. "What happened to you? Is your dad ok? I drove by your house to look for you, but..." A tear slid out of Stephen's left eye, and with a sniffle, he just said, "I have to go. I need...I need to go..." And he wormed his way out of Donovan's embrace...almost with a sense of resentment as he followed his father to the infirmary. And, I guess, there was nothing else to be said concerning the two of them meeting up for the first time since all of this madness happened. I mean, I understand how traumatic this whole zombie thing can be...but I couldn't help but to wonder if there was more to this nightmarish fairy tale than meets the eye. Because the only thing that seemed more painful than the look in that boy, 'Stephen's', gaze...was the look in Donovan's eyes as he was forced to watch him walk away. There was definitely something going on there, you know? It's weird. I don't think I've seen any visible emotions from Donovan at all outside of annoyance and indifference. Was this the same 'Stephen' that he was looking for in the staircase that one night? Are they related? They don't look related. I don't know. I just found the whole thing kind of odd. As more people were checked out, released, and being brought into the shelter with the rest of us, I felt the hallway getting a bit more crowded. Uncomfortably so. I mean...how many people can we actually fit into this confined space? Granted, my high school is pretty damn big...but that doesn't make our space a limitless commodity at times like this. And we've still got two MORE caravans on their way? How many people are they going to bring with them? Am I starting to get as paranoid about the people surrounding me as the soldiers are? I don't want to be afraid of everybody that I come into contact with. I don't want to suspect every person that I pass in the hallway of being a potential 'threat' to my personal safety. Ugh...I almost wish that I had never heard the soldiers talking about us kids at all. I guess it's too late to take it back now, isn't it? Spencer got really wobbly in the knees all of a sudden, and as I felt more of his fragile weight leaning against me, I tried to maneuver him over towards the lockers and let him slide down to sit on the floor...both of his elbows resting on his raised knees as he put his head down and closed his eyes for a bit. He was just...so...soooo...tired. I saw Preston keeping his distance from him, and he eventually squirmed his way around me to stand closer to Alex and Donovan, hoping to keep Spencer as far away from him as possible. The look in his eyes was unmistakable. He was seriously afraid of that boy. It was like he had seen this kind of thing before, and he knew the signs. How long will it be before I take his silent warnings to heart? "Walker?" Came a voice from one of the other refugees that were being ushered briskly through the crowd of onlookers. "WALKER!!!" I don't think he had any investment, whatsoever, in the new rescues entering the shelter at first, but when he heard his name, he finally looked up from his moody and sullen position, and I saw his eyes open wide as he gasped out loud. "EDDIE!!!" Walker practically leapt forward and crushed the other boy with a tight hug around his neck that would have shattered his verterbrae if the other boy wasn't hugging him just as tightly around his waist. "Oh GOD!!! I thought you were dead!!! I thought...I thought....Oh God!!!" Walker whimpered, weeping openly on Eddie's shoulder. "Me too!" Eddie said! "I didn't know what to do! I was locked in the bedroom, and I couldn't get out to see if you were ok! They just kept pounding on the door, and I was so scared!" He began to cry just as hard as Walker was, both of them refusing to let the other one go, even when the medics tried to get him to move along. "So...you came here? To the high school?" "Some soldier guys came to find me after a long time. I was down in your basement, hiding out. I think. I didn't know what else to do. I was too scared to go outside again." Walker sniffled. Then he hugged him tight again, sooooo overjoyed that his best friend had actually survived one of the worst tragedies to ever plague human kind in general. I was kind of touched to see them reunite in such an emotional way. Something about it just seemed to remind me of how severe and how devastating this zombie virus really was for the people who were directly affected by it. It brought the horror of it all back to the forefront...and reminded me of what it would be like to truly lose the people you care the most about... ...Forever. It was at that point that I noticed the crowd around us thinning out a bit. A majority of the folks from the 18-wheeler truck and the ones from the trailers that were right behind them, had either entered the high school shelter, or they were being inspected and treated for injuries in the makeshift triage just outside of these doors. There were a lot of hopeful victims that stood there for as long as they could, but eventually...that promising, optimistic, light in their eyes began to dim. Shoulders began to slump forward. And they began to slowly wander away from those open doors as they realized that the wait for any news, whether good news or bad news, was going to continue. At least for another few hours. And so the emotional torture goes on. One of those tormented souls...being Alex. He looked so hurt. So...lost. I never wanted to hold him close more than I did at that very moment. But I also knew how ineffectual my display of affection would be in taking his mind off of the well being of his parents being violently ripped apart by the pandemonium taking over the streets right now. What good could my love do for him at a time like this? With both Walker and Eddie crying at their surprise reunion, two of the soldiers had to tell Eddie to move along and make way for the last few refugees that were coming in. But they held on to one another for just a few seconds longer. "I have to go get checked out, dude. That's what they tell me anyway. But DON'T go anywhere! K? I'll come look for you!" Walker sobbed, "I won't. I promise." And just as they started to push Eddie further down the hall, Walker called out to him. "Hey, Eddie! 31-30! Lucky number!" He smiled with tears in his eyes. "Double threes! I told ya!" He grinned in return, and then was shuffled off for further examination. At least a few of us are getting the kinds of reunions that we were looking for. Donovan, looking a bit sad and grumpy, bumped my shoulder as he walked past me and just stomped his way back down the hallway all by himself. There was no point in following him. He'd bite all of our heads off if we even attempted to make him feel better at this point. Instead, I just moved over to Alex, and I stood behind him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders from behind. I didn't care who saw us or who was watching. I just...I needed to console him, and maybe alleviate some of his pain, if only for a little while. Alex trembled for a moment, but eventually relaxed and just gave me a kiss on the back of my hand, allowing my embrace to swallow him up with all the love and support that I had to give him at that moment. Maybe it'll help to restore some of his faith in the idea that things still have a chance at turning out ok...or maybe it will help him to blanket himself in the denial that's keeping us all from completely going insane in this fucked up world... Either way...if Alex needed my love, he could have it. All of it. Because, if things turn out for the worst...it may be all either one of us have left. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SHACK FANS!!! IT'S BEEN QUITE A RIDE, HASN'T IT?
  5. It's ok. I just chatted for like 11 hours straight! LOL! My fingers hurt! But I'll be back soon! K?
  6. Yep! That's the news for today! Go check it out! And let me know what you think when you get a chance! K? https://gayauthors.org/story/comicality/myonlyescape/ Also...all FIVE books of the "My Only Escape" series will be available as ebooks VERY soon! From beginning to finish, as this series is wrapping up now! So stick around to find out how to be one of the first to get your copies online! K? MWAH!!! Love you lots! Seezya soon!
  7. Comicality

    Chapter 34

    "My Only Escape 34" Even when I was 'allowed' to sit up straight again, Sam held me tight around the waist, leaning his head on my shoulder. Heh...he was certainly playing the role of baby brother to a tee today. But I can't say that it didn't feel good to be so loved. I think that was the part that shocked me the most. My biggest flaw...my deepest, darkest, secret...even worse than having to hid the fact that I was gay...was now exposed to all of them. My entire circle of friends, the only people that I had to fall back on in an emergency to help me hide and deny the pain...they knew about the abuse now. They knew how shitty my life was when they weren't around. And yet...instead of the ridicule and the ultimate shame that I expected to experience from give them a glimpse into what I go through on a day to day basis...all I got was love. More love than I ever could dreamed of. And as I hugged Sam close, hearing him whimper slightly like a little puppy at my side, I giggled and gave him a gentle kiss on the top of his light blond mop...a few stray tears running down my cheeks while Adam and Brody looked on tried to keep from getting a bit choked up themselves. It's one of those times when you really do find out who your true friends are. And they didn't disappoint me. I hope I don't end up disappointing them either. "Alright, you guys. I...I really need to get back home. I'll only be asking for trouble if I don't make myself visible soon." I said, and it seemed to break Brody's heart to know that I would even have to worry about such a thing. But he stood back as I pried Sam's little arms off of me so I could get back up on my feet. I made sure to grab my notebook, clutching it tightly to my chest. I can't explain why...but it seemed like it was the only key to my personal cage. I needed to keep it close. I needed to keep it safe. Adam stepped forward to hug me around the neck, and he gave me a really tight squeeze. "Dammit, Zack...you be careful and take care of yourself, ok?" He said. "I'm right here across the alley if you need me." "I know. And thanks, ok?" I replied with a sniffle. Then I turned to give Sam another long hug, where he nearly squeezed me to death with an amount of strength that I didn't even know he had in those wiry little arms of his. "Don't get hurt, k?" He said, getting all sad and misty eyed as if I was going off to war or something. Who knows? Maybe I was. But my mom was home, so I'm sure he would try anything too severe tonight. Even if he might find a reason to make up for it tomorrow afternoon. And then...there was Brody... I never thought that I could fall totally head over heels in love with the same boy so many times in the same day, but every time his pretty eyes met mine. As much as we've shared with one another, as many times as we've been affectionate, even intimate, with one another...I can't deny that his every smile strikes me still with a certain level of surprise. Every time. I moved forward with my arms out, and Brody melted into my embrace as he hugged me close...whispering that he just wants me to be ok. We held that hug for as long as we could...and when we loosened our grip on one another, Brody gazed into my eyes with a heartwarming smirk on his face. And when he leaned in to kiss me, I made sure to meet him halfway. His lips were soooooo soft. Perfect in every way. That lovely impact was enough to get my heart racing to the point where I could feel myself trembling in his arms. My god...what a rush. It wasn't until we broke our sensual liplock and Brody playfully rubbed his nose against mine with a grin that we noticed the look of absolute SHOCK on Sam's face standing beside us! Hahaha! Oh yeah, I guess I forgot about that part. Sam gasped, "Dude...what the...??? Holy shit!!!" I laughed out loud, and I just ruffled his hair a bit. "I've gotta go, but...I'll let Adam and Brody, ummm...'explain' all that." "But...b-b-but...wait...what the heck did I miss? Awww! You guys never tell me anything!" Sam said, but I just said my goodbyes and left the room to go back downstairs and leave, saying goodbye to Adam's mom on my way out. The air just seemed to smell a little bit sweeter as I walked through Adam's back yard to get to the gate. Then, across the alley past the garbage cans...then to the back stairs...and up, up, up, I went. Hoping to sneak back in just as quietly as I snuk out in the first place. I just...I wanted to believe in myself worth. It's been so long that I had almost forgotten what it was like to truly love myself for who I am. I've spent years chasing my own value like a mule with a carrot being dangled in front of him...where it was always just out of reach. Where I just kept thinking...if only I could run faster. If only I could push harder. But I could never catch it. I could never get any closer to it. Instead, I just kept chasing the unreachable goal until...I became more accustomed to the chase itself, and the goal ceased to be anything that I could ever hope to achieve. It's just my thoughts going round and round in circles...nonstop. But now? Now I have Brody. I have Sam. I have Adam. And even though I'm scared to destroy our family and everything that I've ever known since both...if I can find the courage to speak up, I'm pretty sure that I can have my mom too. How awesome would that be? When I opened the back door and walked in, my father decided to walk into the kitchen and provoke me into doing something that he could use as an excuse to punish me again. Anything. A dirty look, a random lie, a roll of my eyes...any sense of defiance at all would probably catch a harsh slap across the face or a pinch or a shove. But...you know what? I just didn't feel the need to fuel his bullshit tonight. I refused to give him a reason to terrorize me any further. And that felt really really good! It was like my heart was finally learning how to be bulletproof when it came to his constant assault on me and my emotions. He wants to steal every moment of joy that I could possibly ever experience with his slick little tricks and snide remarks. But he wasn't going to break me down today. I have LOVE in my life now! And it's something that he's never going to accept or understand. Something that he'll never ever get from me...because he truly doesn't deserve it. As angry and as helpless as I felt before going over to Adam's house...now I just feel sorry for him. Is that weird, or what? He gave me a nasty look as I walked past him, but I didn't give him the attention that he was looking for. I completely deflated his ego by walking right past him without saying a single word. My mom was in the house with us now...and he wasn't going to beat me down with her standing there as a witness. She was my safety blanket. My salvation from the suffering he put me through. And even though he might make me pay dearly for it tomorrow after school...tonight I was going to rejoice in the brief feeling of safety that my mothers presence brought to me. I needed that. The funny thing is...I don't think that anything could have angered him more than having me simply not acknowledge him. Even after going 'missing' for the past forty five minutes or so while I was at Adam's house...getting my confidence and sense of self worth recharged by the people who really loved me. Who were willing to stand up for me...stand BY me...and give me a shoulder to cry on if I needed it. It made me stand a little bit taller than usual. And I didn't drop my head and 'sneak' my way past him like I used to. Instead...I simply took the brief detour towards the side to get around him, and I walked right to my bedroom to shut the door behind me. I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of triggering a response from me. Not tonight. I guess he'll just have to deal with his own issues of anger and self hatred for now. It simply doesn't have anything to do with me anymore. As I walked into my room, I had the urge to lay back on my bed and just relax for a while...but I was still gripping my notebook close to my chest. My words...clustered together in a visibly disturbed stream of consciousness that finally gave my inner screams a voice. The story that I always wanted to tell. That piece of me that just...was too scared to break through the mask of normality and express itself because it never felt good enough to speak its mind. Have things changed? Am I...getting better? As I put the notebook down on my desk, I took a good, long, look at it...and the pen next to it. The inspiration was like a burning fire within me...desperate to get out and spread its truth on the pages in ways that frightened me. I was just...I was scared of what I might say. I was scared of discovering who I really was if I indulged in a moment of self reflection and suddenly realized that I didn't like what I saw. I mean...what if my father was right about me? What if I'm just some worthless 'pretty boy' who screws everything up and isn't deserving of love or acceptance of any kind? If I really dug deep...and that was the answer that I found within the deepest parts of myself...could I live with that? Or would it be too much for me to handle? It's a tough question to answer. Because I think that I would rather die than to EVER admit that my father was right about me. I don't think that I could bear that. And yet...the notebook and pen continued to call out to me. I've been silent for so long. And maybe nobody is ever going to read this...or ever know the significance of how hard I had to struggle and punish myself to recall these memories and write any of this down at all...but I wanted to get it out of my system. I wanted to bleed the poison out of me and finally say that I used my creative outlet for something worthwhile. I'm so sick of writing about Summer vacations and current events for Mr. Raffe in my English class. This was my heart. The most vulnerable parts of my life. And I feel like this was going to weaken and infect me from the inside forever if I didn't at least TRY to say something for once! Just once. So...I gave in to my spontaneous feelings...and I sat down at my desk, taking my pen in hand, and I opened my notebook to continue my painful story right where I left off. Again...the words came to me without any resistance at all. It was such a relief, lifting this ban, this hurtful restriction, off of my shoulders...and finally saying all the words that I wanted to say. I felt the pages of my notebook moving around as my deepest emotional conflicts caused me to press down harder on the paper, almost tearing it from the harsh impressions from the pen tip. it got to the point where the pen couldn't keep up with the gratuitous spilling of emotional torment that was spewing out of me, and I had to turn on my laptop and start typing the rest of it out so I could keep up with the frantic activity of my brain...trying to express, explain, and in some cases excuse, everything that I've been through in this house with my father's abuse for the past few years. The beatings, the insults, the humiliation, the SHAME...of never being seen as anything more than a piece of shit. Mud to be scraped off of the bottom of someone else's shoe in disgust. I finally found the courage to type it all out in a word processor...and I think it was probably the most honest thing that I had ever written. Like...ever. By the time I was done, I had tears streaming down both sides of my face. I was sniffling and blowing my nose, my heart beating hard as it attempted to keep the sadness inside from causing it to completely collapse in on itself from the pressure. I, legitimately, felt exhausted when I was finished. Emotionally drained to the point where I felt drowsy and faint from the release of finally...FINALLY...telling my story, and freeing myself from the previously unbreakable hold that it had on me. It was a mentally orgasmic release of epic proportions...and when I finished typing out the second half, I went back to my notebook to type the first half too. Just to make sure that I could save the story as a whole. I didn't realize how much I was holding back until I had to translate everything into words. I wrote about being pushed and shoved against walls...about having a hot IRON thrown at my head...about being kicked out in the pouring rain in my sock feet...about having my Playstation trashed and thrown in the garbage...about being choked, and punched, and kicked, and dragged across the sharp staples in the carpet. For the first time in my life...I told it all. That laptop screen became the exquisite canvas that I had been craving to decorate with my deepest pain and most well guarded secrets for most of my adolescent life. I never knew how liberating it would be to finally let go of my father's dark influence over me. Never tell. Never defend yourself. Never find anything worthy about who you are...because it'll always be a lie. I mean...when that's all you know, growing up...how can you possibly convince yourself to think any differently? I'm trash. I'm filth. Who would ever go out of their way to find something to love about a scumbag piece of shit like me? Right? But...Brody did. He showed me that I was worth more than the turbulent circumstances surrounding me. ME! He made me feel...like my stupid life was worth fighting for. How did he pull that off? Except for my mom...nobody's ever really done that for me before. Not like he has. I mean, Adam is awesome, so is Sam....and I love my mom with all my heart, I really do. But I just sort of expected them to care about me. It's almost like it was their 'job' to give a shit, you know? But Brody's different. His love for me is so pure, so genuine...that it really is had to accept the idea that I would be worthy of this beautiful boy's affections. I try...I just....UGH.... It's like...WHY? Why me? It feels like some kind of joke, you know? And I keep waiting for a punchline that never comes. He just...'loves' me, I guess. It hurts me to say that. It sounds weird. Worse...it sounds fake. And there's a huge part of me that wants to beat Brody to the punch, and brace myself for the moment when he tells me that it was all some kind of stupid prank. A part of me that wants to break free from the delusion and protect what little bit of functional heart that I have left in this fucked up life of mine. But, he just...he refuses to let me go. He won't allow me to get back to my normal life where I can expect what's coming my way and navigate my way around it in a way that would keep me from going totally insane or becoming suicidal to the point where I simply can't fight it anymore. And I don't know if that makes his presence in my life more of a blessing or a curse. Because I've never been here before. I feel so lost... I looked at what I had typed out on that page. I didn't realize how much I had been crying until I went to the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks puffy, my eyes bloodshot and red...with even more tears sliding down my cheeks. I ran the water in the sink and got my washcloth to clean myself up a bit...blowing my nose on a few squares of toilet paper as I attempted to get a hold on myself. What have I done? Seriously....what the fuck have I DONE??? I closed my eyes and just tried to breathe for a minute or twl before leaving the bathroom and going back to my bedroom. I looked at the clock by my bedside, and it was too late for me to start work on my writing assignment for Mr. Raffe tonight. There was no way that I'd be able to finish it in time. I mean...it's not like he wasn't going to absolutely fucking HATE it, anyway. No matter what I wrote for his class assignment...he'd just nitpick and find something wrong with it so he could slap me with a bullshit, backhanded comment anyway. Fuckin' hater! But...as I looked at the manuscript that I had just written...much longer than I thought it would be...a mess of emotional 'vomit' where I just spilled all of my long restricted emotions...I began to wonder if I could just print it out and turn this in as my next project. There was no way that I was going to be able to come up with something else for an idea to fulfill my homework obligation for this jackass of a teacher. I mean...it's just 'fiction' right? It's not like he's going to know the difference, either way. So why not just...turn it in and give a shot? He hates everything I do. Might as well stop working extra hard to impress him and just get a decent grade in his class so I can get the hell out of there and move on to bigger and better things next year. I stared at that document on my laptop for a long time tonight. I really did. And then...when I got tired of sitting still... I hit the 'print' button. Because...why not, at this point? Right?
  8. A brand new chapter of GFD is up tonight! And I split it in half, so you'll be getting another one next weekend! Cool? Enjoy! And take a few seconds to let me know what you think when you get a chance! I'd love to hear from ya! Mwah! https://gayauthors.org/story/comicality/gfd12bloodties/
  9. "Gone From Daylight: Blood Ties 53" I can't say that I didn't really worry about Taryn as I traveled towards the outskirts of town to see if I could maybe make it to Jeremy's blood shack and stay for a while. I sometimes worry that leaving him alone without me there to protect him makes him vulnerable. Then again, I worry that taking him with me or having him follow me to places like the Jeweler's facility puts him in jeopardy. No matter what I do, I'm always afraid that I'm going to make the one big mistake that will cause me to lose him forever. It keeps me unbalanced sometimes. It makes me wish that i didn't have to think about the future at all. Just being blissfully happy with what I have right now. That's all I want. It's all I've ever wanted, to be honest. I just needed some time to clear my head, I guess. Let the silence of the night just...embrace me for a while. So I could try to find a way to sort myself out. I think that would be for the best. Besides, it's not like the lot is 'going' anywhere. I just need to build up a little bit more courage before I decide that I can just stroll back through that front gate like nothing happened, and that I didn't have an entire mountain of bad shit to apologize for. I really didn't want to make them hate me the way everyone else did when I was in daylight. The people around me...my classmates...my teachers...my parents... I really bought into the whole idea that Taryn could save me, somehow. That he could give me enough love to cancel out everything that was wrong with me and get me to a point where everything would be ok. He really made me feel like it was possible, you know? Instead...all I do is move from curse to curse, rejection to rejection, until I find myself being crushed under the weight of it all over again. Until I found myself wanting to walk back out to the end of Navy Pier at night...and finally finish what I started. Had it not been for Taryn's love, and my duty to keep him safe...I'm pretty sure that I'd be hanging from that railing again right now...looking down at the icy cold waters below...and wondering how long it would take for the Lake to swallow me whole, and put me out of my misery...once and for all. When you grow up in pain...it never really goes away. You learn how to deal with it, and how to better manage your emotions...but it's during these quiet times that the abuse, the bullying, the neglect, the utter disappointment within you...pokes you directly in the center of your heart, and reminds you that it's still there. Still real. And that you simply can't be 'you' without it. That's the sickest part of the whole mentality. You can't let go of your demons without your angels leaving you as well. Hell...I don't even know if I can tell which is which anymore. I felt my thoughts going in circles again. Circles. Circles. It was so hard to get them to stop spinning sometimes. Such a strange feeling...knowing all the answers...but not having access to them. If that makes any sense. It's like...they're right there! I can FEEL the solution to all of this madness...I can sense my purpose in all this. And yet, it was just inches out of my reach. Maybe I wasn't mentally or emotionally mature enough to realize kit, too inexperienced to translate it into something that I could use. But I was completely aware of its presence. I just wish I know how to get to it. Crack it open. And finally figure out why some stupid vampire myth chose ME to carry its message to the next generation of our kind, when I've barely been here long enough to know anything about 'our kind' myself. It wasn't until I was taking some of the dark back alleys that the others from the lot had told me about that I felt...something strange in the air around me. Something that I couldn't quite ignore once I tuned into it. I slowed my pace down at first...looking around the alley to see what was going on...if anything. And that's when I saw a teenage girl, about sixteen years old, step down from one of the fire escapes in the alley. Slowly. Confidently. Her eyes shining with a golden glow...no optics to hide her vampiric vision. I came to a stop as she walked to the center of the alleyway, almost as if she knew that I was coming. She stared into my eyes...but didn't say anything. Not a word. Suddenly, a group of seven or eight other vampires came walking around the corner at the other end of the alley to join her. All of them were teens, but all a few years older than I was, some of them a bit bigger, too. However, their eyes weren't glowing with a friendly shade of gold for very long. In fact, as they all gathered into a menacing 'squad' in front of me, I watched as their eyes turned to a deep shade of crimson red...meaning that they were in hunting mode. Scavengers, maybe? Who knows? I simply stood still and made sure to keep my eyes on them the entire time. "I'm just out for a walk." I told them. "Do you mind?" One of the older boys spoke up, "Our friend, Delilah, here...you know...she told us the craziest thing earlier tonight. I have to be honest, I didn't know whether to believe her or not. I should have learned my lesson by now, concerning her visions." He said, stepping closer in a menacing way. He definitely had me by about six inches. He towered over me, with muscles that I probably couldn't have achieved on my best day when I was still human. "I guess you could say that Delilah has a bit of a...psychic twinkle. She predicted that you'd be here...right in this very alley...right at this time of night. And lookee lookee...here you are." "I don't want any trouble. Just...leave me alone, ok?" I warned him. The boy looked back over his shoulder at his fellow vampires and chuckled to himself. "You're a very...VERY...special vampire. Aren't you...'Justin'?" He said. I looked over at Delilah, who had definitely used her extra of premonition to tell them a lot more about me than I would want any of them to know. "I'm thinking that this can go one of two ways..." "Really? What two ways?" I asked, making sure to gain my footing...just in case. "One...maybe you come with us...and you teach us as many tricks as you know so far. And you keep teaching us all until we know every last one of them. It can be dangerous out here on these streets for us V's. More extras means more power. More power means less threat. And if what Delilah says about you is true...then you are definitely an asset that we can make good use of." Still staring him in the eye, I asked, "And the second option?" His smile faded, and I noticed the rest of his gang taking a few more steps forward to crowd the alley to prevent me from leaving. "That second option...is we all beat the living SHIT out of you, right here, right now...and cash in on whatever ransom we can get from finding you out here. Because...I can guarantee that a vampire like you is going to be on somebody's radar. And they're going to pay us a pretty penny to hand you over...whether you're all busted up or not." He snarled at me, bearing his fangs as his eyes turned an even deeper shade of crimson red. "Frankly, I don't care which option we go with...but I suggest you go with the first one. My brothers and sisters here aren't known for their restraint when it comes to option two." "Is that so?" I said...suddenly feeling the many energies that I had absorbed over time building up within me. My eyes turned just as red as his, my fangs shooting down from my gums as I made sure to let him see them as I sneered in his direction. And then, almost as if my mind was suddenly going blank, dipping into the desirable cache of madness that I enjoyed so much when it was needed...I felt a thick mass of ice cold shadows wrapping themselves around my arms. Then crawling up the sides of my neck to wrap tightly around my face...and my body began to slowly lift up off of the ground, my nails turning into claws...and I saw small pieces of trash and debris in the alley beginning to move and rise off of the concrete as well as they began to spin around me. A heated wind began to blow through the hair of the boys approaching me, and I could easily sense their fear increasing as they all took two or three steps back away from me. The dumpsters in the alley began to rattle, as well as the fire escapes above me. And as sharp bolts of electricity began to crackle and pop around my hands, and then spread to both sides of the alley, stretching out until the others jumped back and tried to avoid getting SHOCKED from the intense power that I was wielding in my fingertips alone...I felt my voice change into a deep, guttural, inhuman, growl...and I said, "I really don't have time for this right now! MY suggestion is that you find yourselves a third option! Or this isn't going to turn out well for either one of you!" And then I looked over at Delilah again, and I asked, "So...what is your friend's psychic twinkle telling you NOW???" The rest of the gang turned to see what she'd say, all of them trembling before me. And with frightened eyes that were rapidly losing their red flare and returning to gold...she looked back at them to slightly shake her head. I'm not sure how far she could see into the near future, but the message was clear. Don't FUCK with the Vampire Mimic if you want to keep breathing! All of them had nothing else to say to me. Some of them backed out of the alley without even alerting their fellow vamps. Delilah went back up the steps of the fire escape, and soon...the alley was empty again... It took me a minute or two to 'power down'. My adrenaline was racing. My fists were clenched. Did you see how they cowered away from me? How they RAN once the knew what I was capable of? I felt the shadows peeling back from me, and retreating into those dark places in my mind where I dare not go...but I looked down at my hands, and I felt...strong. So strong. There is a certain level of madness in realizing the kind of power that you hold. And I can't really say that it was a bad thing. I could...I could do such terrible things if I wanted to. Who could stop me? Who would I be if all of life's possible consequences were suddenly removed? As always...it made me wonder... Is this what my father felt when he used to hurt me the way he did? Knowing that I was so helpless...so powerless? Is this the madness that he had so willingly tapped into when he beat me without mercy? Did he...enjoy it? And...would I enjoy it just as much...if I were to ever cross paths with him again? Imagine, having him see me now. Crying, sniveling, begging at my feet for compassion! For pity...or for some form of forgiveness. Would I be able to grant him that after all he's done to me? Or would I take this power in the palm of my hands and tear him to pieces to forever PUNISH him for what he's done to me? To my life! For who he is! He'll get no such mercy from me. Not ever. He deserves worse. Worse than the vampires in this alley tonight. Worse than the security guards trying to keep me and Taryn locked up in the Jewelers building tonight. Worse than ANYONE who would dare to harm a single hair on my boyfriend's head! I could do it. I know I could. I could tear the whole fucking city down around me if I thought it was justified! And anyone who had a problem with it...I could get them to turn tail and run away like those fucking COWARDS!!! Approaching me in a dark alley? Were they INSANE! Do they have any IDEA who they're fucking with??? Perhaps it was a residual effect of the energies that I had summoned to scare them off...but as much as I wanted to regain my focus and get back to normal...the dark energy didn't want to go away. I didn't...I didn't WANT it to go away! It felt so good. I was, literally, shaking...my hands...the tremors in my hands wouldn't stop. My breathing wouldn't slow down. My muscles wouldn't relax. My other 'half' seemed to be taking me over again, and fighting it was getting more and more exhausting every time I brought it to the surface. I heard my knuckles crack loudly as the shadows returned to me. They were swirling around me, the screams of inner turmoil overwhelming me as I tried to fight off their painful influence. My legs became weak, and as the anger rose up within me to dangerous levels, I tried to find an outlet. Any outlet! There was a metal dumpster next to me...and as my vision began to blaze red, I turned towards it and just...I had to let it out. I couldn't help myself. I balled up my fists and saw them suddenly catch fire! Maintain the fire, Justin...maintain the...maintain...hold it together... "AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" I suddenly lashed out and began PUNCHING the dumpster the dumpster with all of my might! Screaming with hatred, denting the metal and leaving black marks from the flames blazing against it. I didn't know what was happening to me...but if I didn't get this out now, I felt like I would explode! I was ramming my fists so hard into the side of that dumpster that it began to fly up with every strike and crack the bricks in the wall behind it. Sparks of electricity shot out all around me, and the random paper that was lying on the ground began to catch fire as I furiously pounded the metal until it folded in on itself and nearly fell apart. But it wasn't enough! The rage hadn't been satisfied yet! I needed more! There was a desperate need to see how much destruction I could cause once I slipped over into that 'other' frame of mind. All power! All anger! All abuse! All....RAGE! It felt so good to get the poison out of my system. To let my anger find a target worth fighting like it never could have before. Back when I was so weak. So vulnerable. So alone. I had found my strength...and my abilities let me know that they were all here for me any time that I needed them. But then... "Lose the anger, Justin. It won't help you in any fight that really matters." Was the voice that I remembered as I wore myself out and fell to my knees with tears of vengeance clouding my vision. The voice of Comicality...trying to calm me down. Trying to teach me how to keep from going over the edge. I felt those heated tears running out of my eyes as I struggled to reclaim my grace and balance. I was trying soooo hard to force myself to keep from losing control, rocking back and forth for a few tortured moments before feeling that destructive halo of raw emotion swirling around my head again. I suppressed it as much as I could...but it was too much for me to hold in anymore. I had to let it go. I had to. My voice cracked as I shrieked in pain, and my brain geyser extra spread out all around me all at once...putting cracks in the walls, wrecking the fire escapes, even rupturing the concrete beneath me. It was an explosion of epic proportions! It weakened me to the point where I fell over to the side and held both sides of my head...almost passing out from the combination of pain and exhaustion. I don't...I don't think it's ever been that bad before. What did that to me? Why am I like this? Is there something wrong with my extra? Why was this one so intense as opposed to the others? I'm still learning this stuff, but that was something that I thought I had a pretty good handle on before tonight. There really is another side of me that is dying to get out. I've been ducking and dodging it and doing my best to deny its existence...but there's another 'me' in there somewhere. A rotting piece of me that my father placed in the center of my heart before I was old enough to defend myself. The Beast knew it. In fact, it was one of the first things that it latched on to when it found me. But...I'm not the bad guy. That's not me. I'm better than that, right? I mean, I'm not crazy! I'm just...I'm me. Aren't I? I'm in control. There's know way that I'm going to lose it, because I know who I am. Thoughts of Taryn's sad eyes when I unleashed my full fury on Natpea that night when I fought my way in to save him from Soren's club flooded my mind. It was like he didn't know me at all. He couldn't recognize a single part of the boy that he once fell so deeply in love with...not when I was like that. Out of control. Sooooo much power. Almost infinite power. Addictive power. I took a few minutes to just lay there and breathe. Lose the anger, Justin. Lose...just...just lose it. As much of it as you can. Calm down. You can do it. Breathe. Just...breathe... There is a frightening level of untold power inside of me...and the deeper I indulge in that power, the harder it is for me to come back to reality once the threat is gone. The madness entices you to push harder, to go further...and I'm afraid that if I go too far, then I'll begin to lose parts of myself that I'll never get back again. Or that I'll even want back again. What do I do if any other vampires decide to challenge me while I'm out here tonight? Vampires who won't run away with their tails between their legs like the last bunch? What happens if the Jeweler tries to tell me that I can't leave the building next time? What happens if I meet more scavengers in the subway, or another vampire hunter, or any other raiders who are foolish enough to try to come to the lot looking for trouble? Exactly how much power can I use to fight for what I believe in and want to protect at all costs...before I lose what's left of my rational mind? All I did tonight was tap into enough of my extras to keep myself out of a conflict that I didn't want to be a part of...and that was enough to push me into a full blown vampire tantrum that I couldn't contain. Will this get worse? Am I sacrificing my sanity for the illusion of control? How far am I from becoming just as lost and consumed by darkness and hatred as Taryn's brother, Alec? I have to wonder...because I'd be lying if I said that it didn't feel good to finally let out some of the fury. I looked at the dumpster next to me, and I had completely obliterated it with my bare hands. Dents and bent metal, holes and burn marks...it barely even resembled the shape of a dumpster anymore. And there was a part of me that was taken over by a sense of shame for my loss of self awareness...but there was another part of me that looked down at my hands again...free from any bruises or scars...and I felt emboldened to see what else I was capable of. Because if it ever comes down to me and some other powerhouse vampire fighting over Taryn's safety or the family that I've come to love at the lot...this is exactly what they've got to look forward to. I'm not that scared little boy anymore. I haven't been 'bully bait' for months now. Anyone who wants some...they can come get some. Because, for the first time in my life...I'm beginning to realize that I have the strength and the skills to make them regret it. ALL of them. This isn't just me reacting to a certain need or conflict...this is me asserting myself and preparing to let the worlds of daylight and darkness know that I'm going to be a force to be reckoned with from now on. So watch what you say to me. And be careful when it comes to my friends. Your very lives depend on it... For once...your well being is MY choice! NOT yours!
  10. Thanks, you guys. I mean that. My uncle has been diagnosed with double pneumonia in both lungs because of the virus, and he's still in the hospital, but from what they're telling us...it's manageable. So he might be sick for a while, but ok in the long run. Which seems like it should be a relief...but I'll feel a lot better when he's able to come home. Anyway, thanks, guys. And please be safe out there.
  11. My uncle...my mom's little brother, tested positive for Covid-19, and he's having trouble breathing so he was taken to the hospital late last night. And...well, we're waiting to see what happens. He seems to be doing well so far, but we were quick to get him medical care, just in case. One of my other cousins and her fiance have both now tested positive as well. And they're under quarantine, but haven't had any symptoms yet. Thanksgiving is cancelled, because it's just not a good idea this year. And I just...I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost. Anyway, I'm doing fine. My mom is fine. We're a little worried, but hopeful. So... ::Knock On Wood:: I'll be doing emails tomorrow. So it'll be good to talk to you guys. I'll be in good spirits! Promise! Also, I'll check into the chatroom on Saturday, probably in the middle of the afternoon. So if you're around, stop by. I could always use a few smiles during times like this. Alright! Take care! And I'll seezya soon...
  12. It has been a lot of fun, you guys! But despite the joy that I got out of writing these characters and all, the story had to end some time! Hehehe! So enjoy this, the final chapter of "Give It To Me Straight"! I hope you like it! Please take a moment to let me know what you think in the comments! Have fun! Hehehe! https://gayauthors.org/story/comicality/give-it-to-me-straight/
  13. "Give It To Me Straight 11" I felt Ricky's hand rubbing itself over the top of my head as I continued to serve him, his body doing everything that it could not to struggle against the untold pleasures that he was experiencing at that very moment. He threaded his fingers through my hair, little moans being muffled as he lightly bit his bottom lip to keep them from escaping in their full intensity. Then his hand traveled down to the back of my neck. And then to my shoulder blades...and further down until he was reaching out in an attempt to grab at the mounds of my bare ass on the bed as I feverishly humped the mattress beneath me. It was SO wild! "Hey..." Ricky panted. "Flip flop with me. K?" I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but as he began to move and reposition himself, gently pulling my legs further up on the bed and lowering his head, I figured that he meant that he wanted to suck me too. Again...Ok!!! I'm down with that too!!! We slid around a bit, and I was soon feeling the warm, wet, slippery sensation of Ricky Sweeten's sexy lips surrounding my hardness and milking it while a series of violent tremors traveled over my whole body from head to toe. I sucked him back into my mouth as well, and we began to find a mutual rhythm that nearly set me off within the first few seconds of contact. I couldn't help but to whimper myself, especially when I felt Ricky rolling over on top of me again...one of his legs rising up and over me to straddle my face as he got on top and took me even deeper into his hot sucking mouth. I REALLY liked this a lot better! We weren't laying side by side anymore...he was above me, his heated length sliding across my tongue...his wrinkled sack and tender baubles resting on my top lip, full of sperm, the potent aroma of his most carnal desires being wafted into my nostrils with every breath. I let my hands travel up to grip the bubbled globes of his ass, rubbing and squeezing them gently, prying the narrow cleft open as it hovered above my hungry gaze. A fine, almost invisible dusting of peach fuzz lining the open crack. The heat of his athletic thighs could be felt on both sides of my face...and when I was almost too enthralled with the tastes, sounds, and scents, of my my dream boy...I still had the feel of his loving tongue coiling itself around my pulsating erection to deal with. It became too much for my poor mind to handle. My body began to switch into second gear, and as much as I loved the taste of Ricky's heated shaft pumping itself in and out of my mouth...I had to pull off of him to warn Ricky that I was going to cum. Just so I could avoid a repeat of what happened last time. "Ricky...I'm ready. It's coming out now..." I panted. But he didn't stop. He started sucking harder. In fact, he slid a bit further down my body to make sure that he was in position to swallow it all. His hips began thrusting, humping my hairless chest as he tried his best to get me to explode in his mouth. I just...I didn't know what to do! I was way too close to the edge to stop now. And he was sliding his boner up and down my chest, and I kissed the inside of his thighs, sucking gently on the tender meat that I found there...and I craned my neck up to kiss the underside of his balls as the whole lower half of my body tensed up, and I...oh God...I can't hold it anymore! My fingers dug into the supple flesh of Ricky's gyrating ass cheeks as my hips raised up off of the bed...and then began to spasm and totally unload into the sultry heat of his intense, swallowing, vacuum! I honestly think I went blind for a moment, as I came harder than I ever have before in my LIFE, gushes of forced semen being pumped out of me to the point where it almost ached to release it all at once. I was left so bewildered and love struck, that I just had to hold on to Ricky's ample ass cheeks with both hands to keep from wiggling myself right off the edge of the bed. And then...as his hips began to speed up their thrusting motions on top of me, his cute voice whimpering as he tried to take my massive offering down without spilling anything...I felt his erection twitching as well...and suddenly, warm squirts of his own ejaculate began to coat my chest and stomach with his crashing orgasm. I was still holding on to his ass cheeks, feeling them tighten up harder than I had ever seen before with my own eyes, right beneath my fingertips, and I was RIGHT!!! He really DOES have dimples in his ass! Like...DEEP ones! On both sides! Omigod, that's so fuckin' hot! The tension began to fade. Fatigue began to settle in. And after laying in a 69 position for a few minutes to catch our breaths...Ricky finally swiveled himself back around and breathlessly kissed me on the lips. This time, he tasted a bit different. Was that 'me' that I was tasting? Wow...hehehe, not bad. I've been missing out by wasting it all on a ball of tissues or washing it down the shower drain like I usually do. "That was...mind-blowing..." Ricky said, staring up at the ceiling. "I never knew how sexy something like this would be. I never knew, like...I just...whoah..." Hehehe, Ricky was being so cute at that moment, that I felt compelled to roll into his arms and kiss him on the lips again. And that was just the beginning of our 'All Day Saturday'! Silas was totally right about this whole thing. Ricky and I kept tongue kissing until we were fully hard again...and then we'd suck each other off again. Then we'd kiss and cuddle...and we'd get hard fifteen minutes later, and we'd jack ourselves off while still kissing. Then we'd kiss and roll around for a bit...then we'd go back for another mouthful. It was kind of like having a newlywed 'husband', you know? Or...at least, that's what I'd imagine it would be like. Hehehe! I got to be really comfortable with him, seeing as he couldn't keep his hands off of me. I came so many times that I was starting to think that I'd run out of juice if we kept this up for much longer. And, at one point, Ricky asked me if I wanted a soda from the fridge downstairs. My throat was super dry and so was his, so we both got up out of the bed...my legs were so shaky that I nearly fell over and he had to hold me up while I tried to re-calibrate my normal everyday balance...and we walked down to his kitchen naked. Hehehe, which was weird. I've never been naked in a kitchen before. It just felt naughty to me. Anyway, we were drinking some cold sodas, and making eye contact...and Ricky is so damn cute that I started getting hard again. And that made him hard again too. And he put a dry dish towel up on the counter and lifted my up to sit me on it so we could start making out some more, my legs wrapping around his waist again and him humping himself up against me until we both came again right there in his kitchen! What the hell is even going ON right now??? How is any of this real? I'm losing my mind here! I think we both were pushing the envelope with the kitchen sex thing, but it left us both in this sluggish and slightly lethargic state. My poor boner was actually starting to ache at this point, and yet...with every sexy thought that entered my mind...my little five inches let me know that it would work itself back up for more action if I needed more. Wow...what a little trooper. Hehehe! We went back up to Ricky's room, and he turned on his TV for some random background noise. His bed was a mess, but neither one of us cared. Wrinkled sheets, wet spots, and all. I just laid down, facing the TV, and Ricky laid down behind me...putting his arm around me and spooning himself into my backside while kissing me on the back of my neck. "Mmmm...you're so warm." I sighed. "You smell awesome..." He replied. "I have this minty shower and bath gel thing at home. I'm glad you like it." "I do. Damn..." He kissed me a few more times, and then we sort of shared a few whispers with one another as we lay there in his bed for a while longer, and eventually drifted off to sleep for a little bit. It couldn't have been for more than twenty minutes or more, give or take...but we had definitely put our bodies to the test that afternoon. Even us teenagers run out of sexual energy eventually. Maybe not for LONG...but for a little while. When I woke up...Ricky was still holding me. His protective arms wrapped around me as his subtle body heat warmed me up and kept me safe and secure. I also noticed that he was hard again. And this time, his hardness was laying directly in between my teen boy cheeks, throbbing with every beat of his heart. I don't know what made me do it, but I scooted back slightly...pressing myself against him, and he grunted softly in my ear. I didn't realize that he was awake. "I think we got tired." I giggled. "Gee...I wonder what we could have done to make us so tired." He smiled, and leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek. "I'm seriously considering making you my number one crush, Jamie. I mean it. You make me feel so...ugh...I wish I had the words to say it right." I craned my neck back and kissed him on the lips. "It sounds just right to me." I said. Am I letting my guard down? Something that once seemed so far out of my reach now feels...possible somehow. And that's so confusing to me right now. I felt his hips push forward as the spongy 'smoosh' of my curvaceous cheeks pressed up against his manhood again, and I could feel a tension increasing in my most forbidden spot as it yearned to be exposed to the boy that I was willing to give everything to. What was this building up to? I wasn't sure, but...even though I had a few fears and doubts about this whole thing...I was too excited to deny that I wanted it. I wasn't even sure what to expect from something like this...I just...I was beyond curious at this point. Beyond restrictions. Beyond whatever fears I might have had about...you know...hitting that home run that I always dreamed about. Obviously it would be different from the fantasies that I had about bottoming for a really hot guy in the past. It would be different from me experimenting with my soapy fingers in the showers. It might really hurt, you know? I couldn't tell if I was ready or not. But the more Ricky humped himself against me, and the more I relaxed and push back on him...the yearning to find out what making love for real was all about intrigued me more than the many questions that I had in my mind, trying to discourage such an act. I wanted to know what it felt like. And I think Ricky did too. You know...opportunity and all that. Ricky was still hugging me close when I reached back to give his hard erection a few strokes, pointing it between my round cheeks and attempting to aim it at my hole...still quivering with uncertainty as I silently gave him permission to enter me at will. "Jamie...?" He said quietly. "Are...are you sure?" Omigod, Ricky is so sweet! Even after a whole DAY of us having sex, he's still, like...concerned about me. I couldn't have picked a better partner for my first time. "Yeah. I'm sure." I said. "Do it to me. Please?" I felt his shaft throb in my hand when I said it, and he suddenly let go of me and sat up in the bed. "Wait...ummmm...hold on a sec." He opened up a drawer next to the bed, and ruffled through it for a few seconds before pulling out what looked like a big sandwich bag with a ziplock seal at the top. "They gave us this in Health class at school. I never used it for anything, so..." He seemed so sheepish and cute about it that it made me giggle to myself. Ricky blushed as he pulled out this small tube of stuff and said, "This is supposed to make things more...ummm...smoother, I think." "M'kay..." I said. And I looked at the other stuff in his bag with a bit of confusion as he took the tube out and squinted while trying to read the tiny instructions on the side of it. I picked up the bag, and I saw condoms in there, and some other stuff that I didn't recognize. What the heck is a 'dental dam'? It was like a bag of dollar store toys, but they fascinated me just the same. "What is this thing?" I asked, holding it up for Ricky to see. "Oh, I don't know. I think it's just for girls though." He said, now putting some of that liquid on his hand, and then rubbing it all over his hardness. "Do you...ummm...want some? Like, maybe put it on...like...in your...?" "Oh! I need to...ummm...ok. Give me a second." I said, letting him squeeze some out on my hand. It was really slippery and wet, and I reached behind me to apply it to my most intimate spot, raising a leg to make sure that I could get my fingers to smear it all around my hole and push some of it inside of me. It was MUCH better than soap! That's for sure! And, when I was ready...Ricky smiled at me. And I smiled back at him, glancing down to see his boner glistening and wet, and throbbing with excitement. I guess we were both ready to go then, weren't we? I had never been this far with another boy before. Or anybody before. But there was something about Ricky, his smile, his easy going nature, his sense of humor...his utter concern for me throughout this whole process...that made me want to trust him. You know? I didn't mind submitting to him, or making myself vulnerable in such an intimate and familiar way for the first time. It just...it felt right. So I got up on my hands and knees, and I got down on my elbows, presenting my round bottom to him for the first time, hearing him sigh out loud and groan as though it was the most amazing thing that he had ever seen before in his life. I felt his hands rubbing up and down my back, then all over my ass...then he lightly gripped my hips as the blunt tip of his slicked up erection touched my constricted pucker for the first time. Now, I know that most people think that this would be an easy thing to do...trying to push past a super tight muscle that was designed, specifically, to keep that from happening...but it's not. My body didn't agree with my desires or fantasies at ALL when he tried to penetrate me from behind. And it's not like I didn't want it...I just couldn't grant him access for the first few minutes. Lube and all. I really tried, but my body just wouldn't open up for him. I think Ricky thought he was hurting me, and was ready to give up, telling me, "It's ok, Jamie. Really. We don't have to do this today. I'm just happy to be here with you alone for a while. You've already made this the best day of my life. So, what would we lose? You know?" I think that was the key. That, right there...that love, and patience, and understanding...it allowed my virgin hole to loosen its protective grip and relax to the point where, when Ricky tried again...his tip was able to bypass the clutching muscle and a portion of his shaft was able to slide inside of me. I gasped at first, my breath catching in the back of my throat as I tightened up and felt the pain of my very first intrusion. I felt so...so full. And he wasn't even halfway in yet. I tried to breathe...feeling the sensual 'stretch' of my private entrance as Ricky attempted to take things slow with me. Oh God....it....umm...ok, there's a little bit of 'hurt' involved with all this. It was like both of my legs went numb, just trying to deal with the intense pressure of having his length gradually pushed into me, a half inch at a time. I whimpered a little bit, hiding my face in Ricky's pillow, but I didn't reject him. I wanted him. I wanted him so completely. And when I heard him whisper, "Omigod...you're sooooo tight!" I was determined to struggle through the discomfort to make this the experience that I always dreamed that it would be. For the both of us. There was a minute or two of painful 'discovery' when it came to my first time experiencing anal sex...but I was surprised at how quickly it changed. I can only equate the feeling to massaging out a really sore cramp in your leg. It HURTS in the beginning...but as soon as you loosen up the muscle and start working to make it feel better...the pain fades. And it becomes the most fantastic and relaxing feeling in the world. It was like Ricky's hard length had suddenly broken through a second sexual 'gate' within me...and when I felt him pierce his way through it to stimulate me in places where my fingers couldn't reach...I found my swollen tip leaking fluids to the point where they dripped down to his bed sheets in long, clear, sticky, drips. Holy SHIT! What was this??? Ricky began to slide himself in and out of me, and it almost felt TOO good for me to handle! He was hitting some hidden spot within me that was nearly making my eyes roll back in my head. My legs became too wobbly for me to stay on all fours as I moaned and squealed with delight from his passionate thrusts, and I fell down to the bed, with Ricky covering me so he could continue pumping himself into me. He was so breathless. My hole quivered and gripped his shaft as he continued to invade me, soft, loving, kisses being placed on my cheeks and lips. I turned my head to see if I could taste his tongue in my mouth again...and he only pumped me harder than before. With my slim body being pressed into the mattress over and over again...my erection lost all control and began to cum all over itself. Spurt after spurt of overzealous teen boy seed, forced through the thin material of his sheets and straight down to stain the mattress beneath. My body convulsed with my voice cracking in the midst of one of the most powerful climaxes of my young life. I have NEVER had my body rocked to it's very core like that! Holy FUCK!!! And yet...Ricky kept humping himself into me with a fever. His heated breath bowing heavily on the back of my neck, his strong arms on either side of me, with my hands touching his maturing biceps as he focused on reaching a high climax of his very own. And then... "Omigod...oh shit....UNGGHHH!!!" He said, and pushed himself so deeply into my clutching hole that my eyes sprung open and my legs tightened up as he forcefully emptied his highly aroused fluids into me...his groin crushed against the soft cushion of my as cheeks as his final thrust pushed the pert cheeks up, only to blush from the pressure that he was assaulting them with. I could feel Ricky hold me tight, I could hear his voice over my shoulder, crying out in a fit of lust and inevitable release. His humping frenzy came to a stop as he felt the contractions of my constricted cavity gripping his sensitive shaft from all sides. My animated body wiggling beneath him as he fought to keep from screaming out loud over the stimulation of his highly sensitive tip. And when our orgasmic tantrums began to subside...we just laid in Ricky's bed for a few minutes...not saying anything at all. I mean, what could we say? What we just did was MAGIC! And neither one of us even knew the asthetics of the trick yet...but today pretty much guaranteed that were going to keep doing this until we figured it out. No doubt about it. So, yeah...an 'All Day Saturday'... It's a real thing. Silas really wasn't kidding about that. By the time I was ready to leave Ricky's house that day...my dick was SORE from having sex that many times and for staying hard for that long. But it was worth it. SO worth it. I lost, like...ALL of my virginity to a boy that I have been obsessing about and lusting over for a long time now. And, you know what? I wouldn't change a thing. It's one of those virginity stories that people would be super proud to tell when they get older. I got the Willy Wonka 'Golden Ticket' when it came to my first few times out. And not many people can say that. Maybe just a handful...but I'm glad that I was one of them. When Ricky and I were too tired and to emotionally and sexually satisfied to go any longer, we finally got dressed again, and I gave him a long tongue kiss before putting my shoes on and getting ready to leave. That's when he surprised me by timidly asking, "You know...maybe when school starts, or...you know...we have another big party to go to..." He paused for a second, blushing and running his fingers through his hair as he bashfully looked away from me, "...Maybe, you and me can, like...go together?" Shocked by his comment, my eyes widened involuntarily, and I tried to calm myself down before answering. "Really? Ummm, ok. I'm down." "Cool." He smiled. "Cool." I smiled back. And that's when he kissed me again before letting me leave. The rest is history, I guess. Recent history. We make eye contact a lot when we pass by each other's houses. A few secretive smiles. A couple of hugs. And when we find the time to be alone, at his house or my own...we have no hang ups about getting completely naked and hooking up again. Hehehe, and again. And AGAIN!!! I've actually gotten addicted to the feeling of having that boy inside me. I never get enough. And the more we 'do it'...the better we get at 'doing it'. Sure, we still talk and laugh too. And I occasionally offer up a coupon for a free ice cream sundae when it's a particularly hot day outside. But I make sure to hide the 'good' ones for myself. Hehehe, I learn from my mistakes. But he's still super awesome to talk to, and despite the deliberate sexual hook ups every time we get the house to ourselves...Ricky seemed to mirror my feelings when it came to possibly looking for something more. Because...we have AWESOME conversations, sometimes. And we laugh until almost cry. I think he really wants us to be a 'couple'. You know? And I've never wanted anything more than to be involved with a supreme hottie like Ricky Sweeten and have the honor of calling him my boyfriend. My actual boyfriend! Wow! I think Silas is catching on. Hehehe! So, I'm going to come clean to him soon. Maybe even tomorrow. He's going to be so outraged that I didn't tell him sooner, but those are the breaks, I suppose. I'll tell him. I pretty much have to. Because there's another high school party coming up the weekend after next...and Ricky wants me to be his date. Ahhhhh...he's so CUTE!!! His DATE??? Yeah, I'll work things out when I get a chance. For now, though...just know that, sometimes...the impossible is possible. The unreachable is reachable. And sometimes...that boy that you've been constantly dreaming about? He's been dreaming about you too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a cutie to call up to let him know that I'm thinking about him. And that I'm coming over soon to help him decorate the walls of his bedroom with something other than blank space. And then have more SEX! Hehehe! He'll never get any shortage of love from me. Believe that! I'll tell Ricky Sweeten that I love him every chance that I get. And I will never regret it. I was blessed with the boy of my dreams...I don't plan to take him for granted. And I don't plan to mix words either. I'm going to do for him what he did for me... I'm going to give it to him straight. Forever and always.
  14. https://imagine-magazine.org/ The 66th issue of Imagine went live some hours ago! So, if you haven't stopped by to check it out yet, be sure to head on over and see what kind of goodies we've got for you this month! Cool? And, if you get a chance, be sure to hit that green 'Up Vote' button at the bottom of each page to support and give a little love to our many authors and contributors on the site! They work hard to make this thing a success every month! Let's see if we can break 1000 page visits on the first day! Is it possible? Me thinks...yes! XD Have fun! And BIG thanks in advance!
  15. Hehehe, don't worry, you guys! I didn't go anywhere! I got busy with a few things, and then wanted to get the November issue of Imagine ready for Sunday, and I have a mountain of emails to answer...but I'm still here! Promise! Anyway, this is chapter one of a short, three chapter, series! So I hope you guys will like it! Let me know what you think when you get a chance! Cool? https://gayauthors.org/story/comicality/after-practice/ Have fun!
  16. "After Practice" It's hard to not be immediately aroused whenever I see him come out of that side door to jog over and join the rest of the Froshman soccer team on the field for practice. I mean, I know we just began trying to get ourselves together before the season officially started, and it's only been a few weeks since I first laid my eyes on him...but the way he made me feel was like...the most incredibly awkward crush of my entire life. I'm only fourteen years old, so I realize that's not saying much...but even at a distance, I could feel my breath getting short and my heart starting to race. It's so unfair that the angels blessed just one boy on the planet with that level of beauty. It was insane. Dallas was his name. Dallas Nicolero. I don't even have to say it out loud anymore to get the appropriate shiver of infatuation to run through me like a heavy sedative. Something about that boy just...soothes me, you know? "Are you spacing out on us again, Trey?" Joe asked me. "Huh? No. I'm fine. I'm just...yeah, I'm cool." I replied, hoping to keep him from watching me...so I could watch Dallas instead. more times than not, it's just hard to turn away. He had these really dark brown eyes...but they blazed just as bright as any other color that you could imagine. It was like a single glance from him would burn a hole right through if given the opportunity. A set of chestnut colored high beams that nearly blinded me with their brilliance, and always forced me to turn away with a blush before I found myself falling head over heels in love with him to the point of no return. And his hair? A longish mop that hung just slightly below his ears...every strand expressing a subtle curve at the bottom. Almost as if to gently lick the sides of his cheeks in the most tantalizing way. A unique color. As if he had been bright blond when he was younger, but would be much darker when he was older. And yet, I was fortunate enough to catch the glorious sight of those shimmering boy locks somewhere in the middle of that transformation. The perfect mix of blond and brown...a dark shade of gold. The envy of the very sun itself. Every part of him was breathtaking. Stunning beyond all description. And as he approached the rest of us on the field, I found myself fighting off another one of my hair-trigger erections in front of the coach and the other boys around us. Our coach told Bruce and Peter to take an armful of cones each and line them up between the two goals. "Alright, you guys, we're going to work on ball control today. We're going to take it, two by two, and weave in and out between the cones as fast as you can to the other end of the field, then I want you to circle around and bring it back the same way before passing it off to one of your teammates." He said. "Remember...I want speed for you all, but the goal is control. Don't get sloppy on me and start losing control of the ball. Keep it close, keep your footwork tight, make sure to keep your eyes open so you can see where you're going. You've got to have faith in what your feet can do with the ball. I don't want you guys running around with your heads down, staring at your shoes. That's a good way to lose the ball to the other team. Let's look alive out there." We lined up beside one another, five and five. I hadn't even realized that I was standing directly across from Dallas in the other line. It made me a little nervous. We hadn't even played our first game yet, but it was clear from day one that he was probably going to be the all-star of the time. The things he could do, fake outs and pop ups and turning himself around while keeping the ball protected between both of his feet at all times...yikes! I felt like I almost sprained both ankles just watching him sometimes. But...more than that...being around him makes me self conscious about everything that I'm doing. The way I stand, the way my hair looks, what I happen to be doing with my hands, how my uniform fits...it's like being on a globally broadcast TV show at all times whenever he's around, and I have trouble getting myself to calm down enough to keep from visibly trembling in his presence. It's not easy, you know? Not at all. Now, I know what you might be thinking... Dream all you want, Trey! But it's never going to happen. You have absolutely NO chance of ever having him for like...a 'boyfriend' or anything, so why bother? That's just it. I do have a chance. And that's probably the worst part of this whole scenario. See...Dallas likes boys too... When we were all trying out for the team, it was pretty much one of the first things that he told us about himself, outside of his name and how much he loves soccer. I guess he didn't want it to be this lingering question in the back of the minds of the coach or his teammates. I suppose he didn't want it to come as some great big 'shock' to the rest of us later either. Which kind of makes sense...but I'd be lying if I said that his admission and willingness to be openly GAY didn't nearly cause me to faint and fall back, right out of my own shoes. I mean...is it that easy? I'd NEVER have the guts to tell anybody that I liked boys in high school! High school is one of the most judgemental, most hostile, environments on Earth! I'd take a full blown firefight in a foreign country behind enemy lines any day over coming out of the closet in the ninth grade! Much less to a team of boys that I'm going to be playing sports with! Dude, that's terrifying! So...it's not like I'm constantly drooling over somebody that's just...untouchable, you know? I'm just...dealing with my desperate need to be a coward about this for now. I don't know what to do when it comes to asking a boy out on a date or anything like that. I've never kissed anybody. Never held hands. I don't know how to flirt, or meet somebody cute for the first time, or anything. One time, in the fifth grade, this one girl said she 'liked' me and wanted me to be her boyfriend, and I ran home every day after school for a month and a half trying to avoid her. Ugh! Humiliating. Dallas was a bit ambitious for my first love. I'll admit it. Don't think that I'm insecure about my looks or worried about my sexuality...because I'm not. I can look at myself in the mirror and fix myself up a bit to the point where I feel like I look pretty cute. I'm not arrogant about it, I just think that I could catch somebody's eye if I really wanted to. And I might be in the closet, but I'm far from being 'confused' about what I want in a sexual partner. I don't hate myself, and I don't worry about suffering the eternal flames of Hell someday because I kissed another boy and liked it. That's not a malfunction in my psyche like it is for some people. It's just...sighhhh...God... Dallas is soooo much for me to handle, you know? Just LOOK at him! Both of our lines kept moving forward to be the next ones to run our part of the exercise, and I couldn't help but to keep stealing glances at him, you know? I mean...his legs. Omigod....his legs made my mouth water sometimes! Living in the midwest, most of us wear long pants or jeans a lot, and sometimes long sleeved shirts or hoodies. But when it came to our soccer uniforms and our school colors, those long, smooth, legs were totally exposed to my hungry eyes. I would, literally, imagine myself licking them all over, and sucking on the tender meat as I worked my way up to the treasures that he must have been hiding underneath them. I was beginning to get hard again, and had to fight hard to keep from poking out in the front. I just...I wanted Dallas so badly that it just plain HURT sometimes. I didn't even know that I was staring until Dallas turned to look at me, probably catching on to the hint that I was totally obsessed with him in that moment. Wow...those brown eyes... "Race ya!" He smiled, just the hint of a boyish dimple in his cheek as the other two boys on our team started heading back in our direction. That smile nearly pushed me over the edge. I wasn't even fully hard, but felt like I was going to erupt volumes in my soccer shorts, regardless. I almost didn't even see Bruce kick the ball in my direction, and had to reach out with my left leg to catch it and start dribbling it forward around the first cone. "Stay AWAKE, Trey! Come on! Let's get it together!" Coach hollered, and my face turned red as I tried to go on with the exercise after being caught off guard while staring blankly at my dream boy. Using the inside of my foot, with short, but quick, kicks of the ball, I navigated my way back and forth between the first few cones without much of a problem at all. But once Dallas got a hold of the soccer ball on the other side, it only took him a few seconds for him to catch up to me. Left side, right side, left side, right side...those long sexy legs of his flexing as he maneuvered back and forth like a pro. And he was smiling as he did it too! Hehehe, he just KNEW that he was the shit when it came to this game! We both rounded the corner at the same time and started heading back towards where we started. I wasn't bad with my footwork, but I was nowhere near being as good as he was. Dallas beat me back to the beginning, and the coach blew the whistle to get us to line up and start all over again. Soccer practice lasted about two hours after school, and sometimes the weight room was open for us to do squats or improve our leg strength...but today, the coach let us go early. Our first game was only a few weeks away, and he wanted us in tip top shape and ready to go. He never failed to remind us, "Each one of you could run out on that field and be a superstar. I believe in you guys. But superstars don't win games. TEAMS win games. The more you learn to get in sync with one another, the better we'll do against anybody that the other schools have to send our way. You got it?" And we all shouted in agreement. He had a way of keeping us hyped up, even when we were tired. "Good! Now go hit the showers. Relax. Keep up with your homework. I don't want to hear from any of your teachers telling me that you need to be booted from the team for poor grades. Studies come first. If I get any complaints, I'll have to let you go. That's the rule." It hardly felt like two hours to me, but if it meant getting away from school and maybe getting a few games in on my Playstation tonight, then I'm all for it. Dallas put a hand on my shoulder as we were walking back to the locker room, and he giggled, "You weren't racing at all. I thought I was gonna have some competition out there today." Absentmindedly, I replied, "I'm just not in your league, Dallas. Seriously, I swear that you've got a third leg hiding around you somewhere to control the ball like that." He laughed. "You might want to rephrase that, Trey! Sounds dirty!" I wouldn't have even thought about any of that if he hadn't said it first. But that was just Dallas' sense of humor. You kind of had to be on your toes if you were going to catch his punchlines when he sucker punched you with them. Even the corny ones. Hehehe! Showers... You know...the whole soccer team knew that Dallas was gay. They knew that he'd be changing with us, showering with us, and everything else that came along with being a part of our athletic little club. And they never really gave him any grief about it. never once. But I could feel a slight bit of tension when it came to the 'naked' stuff. I know that I wasn't imagining it, and I'm pretty sure that Dallas knew it too. I mean, you could just sense it in the air around you. I saw the other boys hesitate to take their shorts off in front of him, or pause slightly or blush when they had to pull their shirts off to change into their uniform. It was subtle and it was quiet...but you couldn't deny that the anxiety of them being around an openly homosexual teen was there. They were hyper vigilant about it. This 'hush' would fall over the whole locker room whenever Dallas was standing there with the rest of us, and even though they seemed to really like Dallas and were totally tolerant of the fact that he had the hots for other boys...it just wasn't the same as really being totally 'ok' with being naked in front of him. And that sucked. Because Dallas was the kind of guy who was totally ok with that, and just went off to another part of the locker room where they wouldn't have to be so self conscious about it all. He would get dressed and undressed in another part of the locker room all by himself, and usually took a spot in the showers around the wall, facing the corner, where he could clean up without really interacting with the rest of us. I really didn't think that any of that stuff should matter...but then again, I'm gay too. So maybe I'm biased and just don't understand what the big deal is. Plus, I was kind of pissed off that I never get to see Dallas naked and wet...with a thick river of soapsuds and bubbles sliding down his smooth, flawless, skin...right down the middle of his ass crack, and watching his long fingers handle and clean his pink tinted sack and shaft as the water cascaded down through his perfect hair...and slithered down the sides of his neck...over his erect nipples...and further down until... FUCK!!! That boy makes me soooo *hard*! When we all came out of the showers, I was disappointed to see Dallas walk out with a towel wrapped tightly around his waist, and he went to his own private part of the locker room to get dressed again. I remember looking around to see if anybody was paying me enough attention where I might be able to casually 'wander' over to the gay boy's section of the locker room and maybe catch a glimpse of something that would keep me jacking off long and hard and often from seeing it for the first time. That mouthwatering shaft, those smooth legs, the curve of that delicious ass of his. But I found myself getting erect just thinking about it...so I decided to save myself the embarrassment of catching a glimpse of him in the nude and having to forever live with the shame of what that glorious vision did to me in terms of being undeniably aroused in front of my other teammates. So...I guess I'll just have to leave that up to imagination for now. Until I stop being such a damn COWARD! God...I can actually HEAR him changing on the other side of these lockers. He's naked right now. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd grab the damp towel that he used to dry off with and cover my face with it while I jack myself off to one of the biggest explosions of my life! I wish this was easier. Just...every piece of my heart just wishes that this could be more 'normal' than it feels right now. I don't know. Lifelong brainwashing is a bitch, sometimes. I heard the other guys talking about hanging out or going to the mall or something, but...they didn't extend the invitation to Dallas. Again, it wasn't malicious in nature...but...it was obvious that they saw him as being different. A few jokes and a hug or two was all he ever got from them. And I felt like he deserved so much more than that. In the weeks that I've gotten to know him, Dallas has proven himself to be a really sweet, really funny, and really trustworthy, guy. But, like I said...I can't see the whole 'gay' thing from the outside like they can. I can't pretend that anything about a boy liking other boys seems gross to me. It isn't. It just...it isn't, ok? Ugh! I wish the other guys could understand that. I'm sick of having to use extra energy to rebuild my self confidence over and over again when they do shit like this. "Alright, guys. I'm out. See you all on Monday?" Dallas said, completely unphased by the things that, obviously, bothered me more than they bothered him. "Definitely!" Said Bruce. "Take it easy, Dallas!" And he gave him a rather appropriate 'bro-hug' "Take care, Dallas!" Said another boy. "Dope hustle today, dude!" Said another one. I can't explain why it bothered me. It shouldn't. They loved Dallas, and treated him like an equal, but...arrrrghhhh! It was just different! I mean, am I crazy for thinking that? What do I want from them? Should I expect them to make out with him after every practice? They're being nice! They're being more than tolerant. Maybe it's just me. Because I think Dallas deserves the whole world's worth of love and affection. The Earth, the Sun, the Moon, the stars...I'd give him all of the above if I could just get one kiss. Just one. "Hehehe, what's with you?" Dallas asked as he turned to me and saw the strained look on my face. God, his eyes are stunning. I watched as he brushed some of his dark gold locks out of his view, and I couldn't help but to sigh out loud. "Ummm, nothing. I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all." I smirked, bashfully. "Tired? Hehehe, tired from what?" He said. "I clearly kicked your ass out there today. You need to step up your game, man." "Yeah. Maybe." I mumbled, feeling my breath struggling to get the words out at a volume that he could actually hear when I said them. "Maybe I'll be more juiced up on Monday." "Let's hope so." He said. "I was looking forward to making you my wingman out there. I've seen you kick the ball around during practice. We could make a lethal team, you and me. I can't wait to see the look on those punks' faces when we bring the pain. Hehehe!" The butterflies in my stomach were circling up and fluttering their wings to the point where they almost made me sick. And all I could do was giggle timidly in front of him. No rhyme, no reason...just giggling. Oh God, this was so AWKWARD for me! "Well...I should...I should get going." I said. "No problem. Are you walking? I'm going down Wade street for a few blocks before I have to turn off. You wanna walk together?" He said. Ok, now my heart is just...having trouble trying to decide whether it's going to simply stop on a dime and kill me right here and now, or if it's going to start beating so hard and so fast that it's sure to exhaust itself in a matter of minutes and kill me anyway! Nothing about this is fair! Let me just go on record, saying that. "Yeah. If...if you want. That'll be cool." I said. Jesus Christ...what am I doing to myself? "Sweet! Stay right here, let me go back and grab my backpack real quick! K? It'll only take me a second." He said, and he smiled at me before hurrying off to go get his things so he could walk home from practice with me. Yeah...so...ok... ...THAT just happened! My penis and I need to make a very quick agreement to NOT get hard while we're walking home together! You hear me? Do NOT get hard! You'd better listen to me, dammitt! Who's in control here? Huh? Behave yourself! Please, please, please...behave yourself! Just for a little while, k? HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SHACK FANS!!! IT'S BEEN QUITE A RIDE, HASN'T IT?
  17. When Trey was trying out for his Froshman soccer team at the age of 14, he never could have predicted that he'd be teamed up with one of the most beautiful boys in school. And not only gorgeous, but openly gay as well. So it's just a matter of Trey trying to push his way past his fear to maybe make a play for the prettiest boy in school. Easier said than done! Let's see if trey has what it takes to chase what he desires most, and capture the attention of the dreamiest boy that he's ever encountered before!
  18. I'll be sure to give a few days warning for the next one.
  19. Comicality

    Chapter 29

    Like I said before...just another day in 'Comsie Land'. By the way, in that post...the words 'please' and 'fantastic' are capitalized for emphasis. ::Snickers:: See? It works.
  20. Comicality

    Chapter 19

    It's ok. Just another day in 'Comsie-Land'. People will read it, or they won't. Period. I never once felt entitled to get paid for my time and hard work...so they shouldn't feel entitled to the next chapter until it's done. The worst thing they can do to me is 'go away' and leave me alone. :: Shrugs :: Ok! Hehehe! Later! I'll be just fine.
  21. Comicality

    Chapter 1

    I'm sorry to hear that, Sherye. Nobody should ever have to go through something like that. Especially from a parent. They should be the ones we trust most. ((Hugz))
  22. I had an AWESOME time last night, you guys! Thanks for coming out! We'll do it again some time soon! XD
  23. It'll be awesome to talk to you guys again soon! I look forward to it! Come join us and have some fun! Cool? Seezya there! MWAH!!!
  24. ...I can't really say that anything 'brought' me here, seeing as I built the place. Hehehe! But as far as the idea and the origin of The Shack Out Back...I think it had a lot to do with me releasing a lot of pent up feelings and desires, and just wanting other people to not feel the way I felt at that time. I was still pretty new to the internet, personally, and I don't even remember what the heck I was looking for at the time, but a gay story came up in my searches. It was about two teen boys on a boat together, and they were sunbathing I think. And I had never read a story like it before. It was homoerotic and sexy and they were teen boys! I don't think there was any sex in the story, but I thought it was amazing just from the affection alone! So, there was a link to other stories by the same author, and that led me to the Nifty Archive. I started devouring every story from every category that I could! And the more I read, the more I wanted to participate! I just remember being a kid and thinking that it wasn't too much to ask to want someone to kiss and snuggle with. I mean, sure, I was horny and boy crazy and I definitely wanted the sexy parts of a relationship too...but I was really searching for intimacy, trust, romance...the same thing that everybody else was looking for. But I had to keep it a secret. Nifty was the only place that spoke to me at that time. And it changed my life. Changed the way I looked at myself, and life in general. I don't know who I'd be right now if I hadn't discovered it when I did. Anyway, I burned through what seemed like five hundred stories before I started to get a little bored with them. The formula got a bit stale. 'Boy meets cute boy, cute boy smiles and wants to go somewhere private, boys have sex, boy whispers I love you, and then...happily ever after'. I mean, they were great for some momentary relief, but I wanted more character development, more story, more conflict. And once I found a few more really well told stories on Nifty, I wrote to the authors to let them know that I enjoyed it...and they wrote BACK! Which I didn't expect at all! I think that was the catalyst for me. There were real people, with real lives, sharing a lot of the same wants and dreams and experiences that I had growing up and always wanted. I sat down, and I wrote the first "New Kid In School", just to say that I did it, you know? It was supposed to just be a one time thing. And when I started getting positive responses from people and they began asking me what happens next...I got hooked. I kept writing and writing and eventually had to build a site to hold them all. The rest, as they say, is history. I doubt that I'd be able to recognize myself if I could go back and meet the person I was before The Shack came along. I've grown so much. I've learned a lot from the people I've met, both online and in person. I've fallen in love a few times, got my heart broken a few times, shed some tears, and lent a shoulder for others to shed some as well. Overall, The Shack was calling out to me before it even existed. And it healed parts of me that I didn't even know needed healing. It started out as an expression of sexual frustration and angst...but it became so much more than that. It's an amazing feeling to have talked at length and joked around with kids as young as 13 or 14 years old, have them grow up, graduate high school and college, buy a home, get boyfriends (or even husbands)...and yet, there's still this little corner in the back of their mind that causes them to stop by every now and then and say hello! Hehehe, like...that's crazy to me! But it lets me know that this place did some good, and that it holds some significance in somebody's life, and always will. That means more to me than anything in the world. It affected them the same way it affected me. I guess it made us all better in the end. So thanks to you all for that. I mean that. ((Hugz))
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