Imagine Magazine Question For 3/12

[Comicality]

Do you really think they don't know?

It's a question that I've banged my brain with for many years now, and my sense of self denial is constantly at war with my common sense concerning the idea of whether or not my mom knows that I'm attracted to the same sex.

In fact, I can go back and look through my high school yearbook right now, and I'd be like, "Yep! Him! And that boy too! And he was definitely gay!" Looking back on it, I can easily tell the boys and girls who shared a same sex attraction, even if we werent particularly close as friends at the time. It seems so obvious to me now. How can my parents who have known me from birth and caught m in almost every lie that I've ever told not know?

BUT...parents have their own sense of denial too. Maybe he hasn't found the right girl yet. Or maybe he'll grow into it. Or maybe he's confused and will come out of this phase at some point. So it's possible that you and your parents are stuck in some sort of denial libo where neither side is willing to say what needs to be said. Who knows?

But be honest with us here...do you really, in your heart of hearts, think that your parents or guardians don't know? Even if your just curious. I'm not talking about finding you internet history or catching you kissing another boy by mistake. I'm talking natural instinct here. Do you think they know? And if they do...does that scare you? Or give you a moment of relief? Just wondering.

Let us know what you think when you get a chance. SPEAK UP!!! Stop being all shy and lazy. I really want to know. K? Tell us what you feel! Anonymous answers are more than welcome as always. I just want to share some wisdom with some of the youngsters that stop by th site and need help with stuff like this. Because they're being suffocated in schools right now in terms of being taught anything about this stuff at all! And it makes me SICK! I want to help. And I want you to help me, help them. K?

::Fingers crossed:: Hopefully you guys will find some time to answer this one.

[Comicality]

I think that I spend more time avoiding the whole topic than actually dealing with it. I mean...it was different when I was a teenager. My mom didn't really expect me to be to be dating and getting laid in Junior High and High School (Although...I was DEFINITELY getting laid in Junior High and High School! LOL!), so it was no big deal. I don't think there was any real suspicion concerning my sexuality until I didn't want to go to prom. I think that might have been a bit of a red flag.

Then I went off to college, and she probably just figured that my college life wasn't really something that I openly shared with anybody. But as time goes on, and my friends and cousins and stuff started to date more, get married, have kids...I mean, there's no way that my mom doesn't know at this point. But it's become one of those things that she never asks and I never answer.

Nothing's changed between us, of course. And if we sat down and actually had that conversation, face to face...I doubt that anything would. But it's uncomfortable for me, you know? I doubt that will ever be a talk that we'll have in this lifetime. But to think for one moment that she doesn't know or would be shocked to hear it at this point would just be silly, in my opinion.

It's something that I wish I didn't have to think about at all. And I have friends who are completely straight and are still bachelors too. But I'm sure that she's not completely clueless about the fact that I like guys.

Now...the whole 'teen boy' thing is...hehehe, no! We're not having that discussion! Not ever! But I think we have a silent understanding of what's going on here. And there's a part of me that wishes that I could get married and give her a few grandchildren, etc...but for now, the love and support is there. And I'm thankful for that.