I Confess

[wep363]

Bill was visiting his best friend Anthony, a priest at his church one

day. Bill sat down to wait while Anthony was finishing confessions. All

of a sudden, Anthony comes out of the box with a strained look on his

face and whispers to Bill.

"I have an emergency. If I don't get to the bathroom right now I'm going

to crap down my leg. Handle the next few confessions for me."

Bill, looking shocked said, "Tony. I don't know shit about taking

confessions!"

Anthony patted him on the shoulder, looking increasingly more strained

and said, "When you're sitting down, look to the left, you'll find a

list of the most common offences and what you have to tell them to do

for atonement." He then scuttled off in the direction of the bathroom,

leaving Bill his robe.

Bill slipped it on, and went into the booth and sat down. He heard a

voice on the other side and a woman spoke. "Forgive me father for I have

sinned."

Bill said in his most reverent tone, "What did you do my child?"

The woman said, "This morning I took a dollar from my husband's wallet

without asking."

So Bill scratched his head and looked at the list, thinking to himself.

'Theft, that would be theft, ok, here it is.' And spoke up to the woman.

"My child, do one Hail Mary and one Our Father and go in peace."

The woman thanked him and Bill heard the door open, then close again,

and another voice. A man said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Bill, feeling he was getting the hang of this, said in his most reverent

tone. "What did you do my child?"

The man said. "Father, I cheated on my wife."

So Bill scratched his head and looked at the list, thinking to

himself... 'That would be adultery... ok, here it is.' And spoke up to

the man. "My child, do ten Hail Marries, five Our Fathers and go in

peace."

The man thanked him and left and another took up their place in the

adjoining booth. A woman's voice spoke out. "Forgive me father for I

have sinned."

Bill feeling relaxed now said in his most reverent tone. "What did you

do my child?"

The woman said. "Father, last night I gave a guy a blow job on the first

date."

So Bill looked over the list, ran his finger down it, looked it over

twice more, but didn't find the offence and said to himself. ' What the

hell do you give someone for the act of fellatio?'

He finally got up, stuck his head out the door and spotted an alter boy

and whispered. "Ppsst! Hey, alter boy. What does the priest usually give

for an act of fellatio?"

The alter boy smiled and whispered back, "Three snickers and a pat on

the head."

[BillM]

Hahaha, I've read that one before. Still funny though

[Myr]

I missed my "calling" I think.

[rainbow]

Very good indeed

 

Rainbow