[NickolasJames8] Staking My Claim - chap 10

[Conner]

This chapter is a 10!!!

 

How should I describe this chapter? I'm going to use all my best gay adverbs. It was intensely, magnificently, supremely, appetizingly, resplendidly, intoxicatingly erotic. Not only that, the sex was good too!

 

 

I'm aware that Nick's signature these days has an anti-smoking element, but, good god, pass the cigarettes, please! There should be a smoking smilie in the selection.

 

If that wasn't enough, there's a horrific cliffhanger to boot.

 

I will likely have to continue smoking until chap 11 is out.

 

Conner

[Bondwriter]

Happy lung cancer, Conner!

This is indeed a long sex scene. It's not bad in itself, but the narrator doesn't come off as really considerate of his lover in my opinion. Some of the terms are a bit crude for my prudish ears, but hey, that's me. Just that it does not move the plot forward a lot, until of course Jarred appears at the end (in a true cliffie, we wouldn't know who rings the bell).

 

I'll be able to have a better opinion once the story's complete, to see how this scene fits in the whole scheme. If it's intended to characterize Andrew better, fine. But I'm eager to know how this all turns out. And whether Andrew quits being a poor little rich kid.

[TalonRider]

My first impression of this chapter was that Andrew was fantasizing.

 

With Jarred showing up, I believe this will lead to the confrontation brought up in the previous chapter, but will it be just the two of them or will all three be involved in it?

 

I don't know how many chapters are left in the story, but I think we're getting close to the end of this segment from Andrew's POV.

 

Jan

[Conner]

Happy lung cancer, Conner!

This is indeed a long sex scene. It's not bad in itself, but the narrator doesn't come off as really considerate of his lover in my opinion. Some of the terms are a bit crude for my prudish ears, but hey, that's me. Just that it does not move the plot forward a lot, until of course Jarred appears at the end (in a true cliffie, we wouldn't know who rings the bell).

 

I'll be able to have a better opinion once the story's complete, to see how this scene fits in the whole scheme. If it's intended to characterize Andrew better, fine. But I'm eager to know how this all turns out. And whether Andrew quits being a poor little rich kid.

 

 

Are we reading the same story? :wacko:

 

Talk about a left-handed compliment - "It's not bad in itself..." If anyone is a considerate lover, it's Andrew.

 

Puis-je te suggerer que tu lis ce chapitre encore?

 

The fact that it is Jarred at the door is what creates the cliffhanger. Who else possibly could?

 

All three lads need their asses kicked with Jarred getting an extra for good measure.

 

Conner

[Bondwriter]

Are we reading the same story? :wacko:

Talk about a left-handed compliment - "It's not bad in itself..." If anyone is a considerate lover, it's Andrew.

Puis-je te suggerer que tu lis ce chapitre encore?

What a goat wants, a goat gets. I reread the chapter.

4033 words, 57 chapters, 5 of which have no reference to intimate contact.

Word count: ass: 18 cock:14 hard-on: 5

This is obviously very graphic; not a big fan of the "quivering" and "throbbing" as adjectives. I won't go into any discussion on erotica VS. porn, to me you've got well-written sex and poorly-written sex. This falls under the first category. But I'm not necessarily a good customer. I love 30s style sex scenes, with tons of hypocrisy and innuendo. But OK, what we like in sex is an intimate matter that's difficult to discuss.

 

What I mean is that what got me into reading this story was how Andrew changed from the first chapter to the others, and the fact that he wasn't an obvious "hero", completely positive and righteous. Hence I'd like to know more about the story to see how this scene fits in the whole scheme. A sentence like "He was the most thoughtful, caring and romantic lover in the world, and for every minute I invested in bringing him off, he made an even harder effort to see to it that I got a healthy return on my investment." makes me wonder if Andrew is really altruistic. That's it.

[Xiao_Chun]

This chapter got me intrigued.

 

4033 words in this chapter and 3264 words before Phillip's name is even mentioned. After reading several pages I started wondering that maybe Nick is preparing a surprise for us, and Andrew's lover would turn out to be Kyle K. Any idea why Nick didn't reveal the identity of Andrew's lover until almost the end of the chapter? Was it only for suspense or maybe to create the feeling of "blindfolded lovemaking"?

 

In any case, it worked for me.

 

Michael.

[NickolasJames8]

This chapter got me intrigued.

 

4033 words in this chapter and 3264 words before Phillip's name is even mentioned. After reading several pages I started wondering that maybe Nick is preparing a surprise for us, and Andrew's lover would turn out to be Kyle K. Any idea why Nick didn't reveal the identity of Andrew's lover until almost the end of the chapter? Was it only for suspense or maybe to create the feeling of "blindfolded lovemaking"?In any case, it worked for me.

 

Michael.

 

I think it was because he forgot to add it :pickaxe: :pickaxe: :king: :king:

[NickolasJames8]

What a goat wants, a goat gets. I reread the chapter.

4033 words, 57 chapters, 5 of which have no reference to intimate contact.

Word count: ass: 18 cock:14 hard-on: 5

This is obviously very graphic; not a big fan of the "quivering" and "throbbing" as adjectives. I won't go into any discussion on erotica VS. porn, to me you've got well-written sex and poorly-written sex. This falls under the first category. But I'm not necessarily a good customer. I love 30s style sex scenes, with tons of hypocrisy and innuendo. But OK, what we like in sex is an intimate matter that's difficult to discuss.

 

What I mean is that what got me into reading this story was how Andrew changed from the first chapter to the others, and the fact that he wasn't an obvious "hero", completely positive and righteous. Hence I'd like to know more about the story to see how this scene fits in the whole scheme. A sentence like "He was the most thoughtful, caring and romantic lover in the world, and for every minute I invested in bringing him off, he made an even harder effort to see to it that I got a healthy return on my investment." makes me wonder if Andrew is really altruistic. That's it.

*gets out dictionary and looks up altruistic*

 

ok, so now that I know what it means, I'd have to answer that with a no