Charles26

This is a chapter that has left me truly on edge, waiting to find out what happens next. Perhaps Thomas Pritchard was more than a friend. I don't know. My own guess would be that he was a client; someone Julien was guiding, and that there was an accident. A serious accident. Possibly fatal. Perhaps Julien had legal, but probably not moral, liability. Why else should his insurance company be interested? And now Oliver's accident. What (whose) insurance details did Julien provide at the hospital? But I think Oliver's response to Julien's sense of guilt is right: "And he knew, as Julien didn’t yet, that the search was futile. Some systems failed not because of a flaw but because of conditions no logic could have predicted." and "You carried me down a mountain,” Oliver said. “Both packs. In rain. On a route that doesn’t exist. And you slept sitting up on a sofa because you didn’t want to be in a different room. That’s not what a person who did something wrong does. That’s what a person who did everything right does.” It was a nasty accident, and a painful one for Oliver, but he doesn't blame Julien and he doesn't want Julien to blame himself. This is good and it is one of the greater gifts he can give Julien - partly because he believes it is the truth and also because he loves him.

The previous chapter presented them with a crisis, very much in the sense of a decision point. They seem both to have learned something from it (especially Evan) and perhaps this will be a case of 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. When fear of rejection and ambivalence about control dominate your feelings "...the room held every stop they’d made without one of them turning into an ending." has to be profoundly important. Great chapter.

They still don't understand themselves. Even if the attraction isn't sexual - unlikely given that it's a GA story😁- they so much want to be friends that it's almost painful to observe. I wonder how their team-mates, coaches and other acquaintances manage to say as little as they do. Just too much fun for them to want to spoil it, I suppose. And anyway, I doubt that either of them would listen. Thank you for another fun chapter.

Whoops! Too late to edit, apparently; but what I wanted to say was "isn't necessarily easy to read". There is a lot of pain in this chapter and light reading it is not!

It worries me, too, and I don't know how to interpret it. But I do think that Oliver has found something very important with Julien, and I doubt that he will be prepared to let it go, so I trust that something good will come of this. A nasty accident, though.

Nolan is a poison that Evan has to get out of his system - somehow. But Cian understandably doesn't wish to be used. I don't have the least idea how Evan is going to resolve this but I think Cian will be there for him if and when he does. I hope he does! And this just goes to show that what is well written is necessarily easy to read. Good work, anyway.

What a wonderful chapter. That kiss up on the ledge. The risk - "It was competence in the place where fear should have been, and Oliver had inherited it whole, and the inheritance was the thing that had broken his marriage and was now, if he wasn’t careful, the thing that could break this." But then - "The journey was every morning after this one where he would wake and Julien would be there and that would be walking, and that would be enough" And - "Someone could reach into him now and find the parts he had spent thirty-six years keeping covered, and hold them, and break them. Or not break them. He had never before had to allow for the second one" After several weeks of opening up to each other there is the beginning of trust to go with intimacy and desire, and it is lovely to see. Thank you @Kevin Snell for a great chapter and a great story.

I suppose that either they are both in denial or they are both completely lacking in self-awareness. So, yes, they seem to agree on something!

Just nice to see the guys having fun. And apparently Mannly has one or two things to learn...😉

Lonely, definitely obsessed - stalking, basically - but just maybe would like a real relationship? Hard to tell. Interesting story!

I think I'd say no filter, lonely and almost obsessed with the one person who understands him. The last, perhaps not surprising.

And so they wake up naked in the same bed. Apparently it was right. There's a delicacy about all this. Something is growing between them - being built is obviously the wrong term to use. Oliver is unlearning the habit of construction, as he has been unlearning much of his habitual behaviour. Whatever it is exactly that is growing comes across as powerful but as yet very fragile. Once it is fully grown it will surely be very strong indeed, but at this stage in their relationship I feel that it is still vulnerable.

"Neither of us got in the other's path. Somehow we never did." It's that unconscious, mutual awareness again. Except that it is becoming a little less unconscious. And that has to be progress, no? For a few seconds! But that's progress too. But somehow I doubt that the 'normal team-mate' phase in their relationship will last more than a couple of seconds, when they finally get there, before being overtaken by something more... urgent?

Complex. A very complex relationship. They know each other pretty well now, and increasingly so every day, and they are gradually opening up. But they still have a way to go - especially Julien. I think it's clear that something bad, very bad, has happened to him while climbing. Oliver recognises this and is extremely wisely not pressing. I suspect that when Julien speaks about this there won't be anything else that he holds back, but the moment has still not come. Well and intricately written. Two very strong character portraits. A great story.

I not sure where exactly this is, even before it goes anywhere. But I'm intrigued and definitely want to know more. 2000 miles? Across the street? Hmm.

And that "that", that that "that" refers to, was completely otiose.. So, no, not confusing at all.🤣 I think the only ones left who are even slightly confused are Jackson and Noah, and they are just oblivious. It's really funny. Great stuff, @andy cannon

So Oliver is learning to be and to feel and to accept and even to love, all without over-thinking. And the two of them have started to talk about the hidden griefs of their lives, though Julien very clearly has something important still to reveal. He doesn't like Mont Blanc. But there is desire, and there is a growing love that is neither management nor kindness. But exactly how they will break through to release it I'm not sure. On to the next great chapter!

“Because I want to,” he said. “And I don’t do things because I want to. I do things because they are right.” I'm not quite sure whether Julien is astonishing or terrifying. Self-control like that is truly impressive. And unnerving. But it has been hard won, it seems: "Julien was a man who didn’t trust want. Want had led him somewhere—Oliver didn’t know where, not yet, but the silences around climbing and the vigilance in the mountains told him that want had cost Julien something that he was still paying for." One thing we do know about Julien (if we know anything, which I begin to doubt) is that his desire for Oliver matches Oliver's desire for him. And that desire is of an immensity that Oliver won't, probably can't, express in words. So, wow. Impressive writing once again. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

It says "full story", which I can believe. But it's so sad; and so plausible. So much hurt. If it is only the first chapter then I hope things improve somehow. If not, beautifully written. Actually, beautifully written either way.

Of course the funny thing is that they know each other that well without knowing that they know. Behind the antipathy there is, obviously, an extraordinary degree of mutual (and I do mean mutual, not common) awareness. Cool!

Children indeed. It's hilarious - but it's also horrifying. One of them will blow a fuse or short-circuit or something very soon if they don't grow up a bit🤣

Oh, glory. No holds barred, that's for sure. Could they possibly be any more competitive? But there is just a hint that Jackson is gaining some awareness of the situation and its inherent absurdity; and, probably more importantly, that his past behaviour - "Also Ran" - might not have been such a brilliant idea. I don't see much sign as yet that Noah is growing up🤭

Goodness. A lovely chapter. It has sorted out a lot of things - and, it must be said, has left a good number of issues completely open! But like the story as a whole it's a delight to read. So, thank you @Mark Ponyboy Peters I look forward to the next story...

I'm not persuaded that there is ever an excuse for becoming an abuser, or any other sort of antisocial menace for that matter. However, as you say @Vcs, the mind is a strange thing and I believe that there is good statistical evidence to show that having been abused is often a reason for becoming an abuser. After all, a high proportion of the bullies who make life a misery for their schoolmates were themselves bullied when younger or still are at home. I imagine there were reasons why Adolf Hitler behaved as he did but I am entirely sure that whatever those reasons may have been they were never an excuse for what he did!

But they're ALL playing games, aren't they? I thought they were professional ice hockey players🤪