drown

Thank you. It helps so much to know what people think. From day one, I got nothing but the best kind of feedback, so my initial fears seemed unfounded rather quickly. Honest criticism is always appreciated. Shows how nice of a community there is on GA. 💛

Ok. I’m really loving your characters. But Here’s a case where you haven’t given enough information. Or I’ve missed it despite re- reading/skimming every chapter after being caught off guard here. In terms of physical descriptions so far I’ve learned Grey and Sebastian have black hair and hazel eyes. Clara has black wavy hair. Dave has blue eyes. I don’t know anyone’s heights or builds or backgrounds. Other than implying Grey is muscular. Beatrice was thin enough to look like a walking stick. Grey also made a passing reference in his mental dialogue last chapter that Dave and Clara’s skin tones are different. But My family has plenty of people who are somewhat lighter or darker without race playing a role. Please don’t get me wrong. One of the fastest ways to bring a story to a screeching halt is by pausing for ridiculously intricate physical descriptions, but learning a little at a time would help. Keep up the good work. Hm. I'm taking your comments seriously, and they help me so much. So I'd like to give some details on my thought process here. I'm not against labels or descriptions, but when it comes to people, I found it tacky for our POV character Grey to just go "LOOK! A BLACK WOMAN!" or "WOW, I'M SO LATINO!" Having said that, I know you're just referring to the balance between outright standing-in-front-of-mirror descriptions and saying nothing at all. And I realize I lost you there, so I apologize. When Grey stood in front of Clara's, he read the plaques hanging there, one saying "CLARA MILES. Oregon Women of Color Hospitality Award 2022." It is easy to miss, but I find instances of this much better than just describing people out of the blue. I know I'm rather sparse on physical descriptions, and I decided to give them layer by layer when they make sense. There's more coming in the coming chapters, and it will never stop, but for me they need to feel right in the moment. I have thought so much about correct representation, without running the risk of appropriation, but representation is very important to me. Having said all this, I do know what you mean, and I'm sorry it didn't work as well as I wanted it to (yet?) Your comments are so very much appreciated. And I take all feedback into account in becoming a better writer. Thank you. 💛

You'll get to know many more members of the pack in time. I hope it's the right order of introduction. I didn't put in the abuse part lightly, but Grey will need to grow past it, and it just fit for his journey. Thank you for reading and commenting. 💛

Thank you so much, @Rkench — And I like Grey, too. I was most worried about the fact that I add one ridiculousness over another with each chapter, so I'm really glad to see people sticking with it. It means a lot. I'm not immune to flattery, so thanks :3 It is, though. I have liked writing for a very long time, but never showed anyone any of it, not even my ex had seen anything I had written. I considered it bad—most of it was. I read a whole lot, so I guess I was attuned to know what works and what doesn't work. I'm just glad my first publication here is not as bad as it could've been, and people want to read it! Your comments are very much appreciated. 💛

She saved Grey, but there were no twins. And now I wonder if I made an error with her dialog. 😬 Thank you so much for your readership, and the comments. I won't reveal more at this point, there are more chapters with more details, and this story will evolve over time. I do have a plan !

You, sir, inspire me to use GIFs. Oh and thank you thank you for all the comments. You binged my story. It's surreal to me. ❤️

BONK BONK ON THE HEAD! To be honest, this was more of an inspiration:

Oh the twists I have in store for you. Thank you so much for commenting, it means a lot :3

This makes me so happy. Thank you for the comment

Well, that's the thing. You know me. In terms of relationship stuff, less is more for me in a story 😉 But your story is more than that. And so much fun to read despite that 😜 Understood. Thank you. Also, eventually, it's all more about the family we make for ourselves than romantic relationships. Oh, I can confirm that 👍 Thank you. 🙂

I don't know what makes you think she'd inconveniently keep them in the basement. I'm just trying to make their interactions incredibly endearing. And hot. Well, Edna knows Dave … 🤷‍♂️ I love her. She was meant to come back in this chapter, because why introduce characters if you don't use them again. She was only going to get a few lines, but I think they really worked. Thank you so much for the comments! I am looking forward to your future chapter reactions 😛

Ahhhhhhh stop it. I'll get addicted to the celebratory champagne I have to buy. AHHHHHHHHHH. I have no idea what got into them. And I'm glad you're here. Thank you so much And it's so hard to keep up with the reading. I have so many more comments and reviews to post. Thanks for being here. 💚

@Tris Thank you so much. Oh my. I'm glad you made an exception for me. And you also made my day Thank you for the kind feedback and reaction. Yes, this is indeed my first story. It marinated in my head for a while and during a calm moment over the holidays, I decided to shape it into something I could show someone else. GA seemed to be the perfect place. I hope you enjoy the story. 💚

Thank you, @Jkeeletupelo — I'll have the next chapter out this weekend

I never found him annoying The Big Bang Theory doesn't really stand the test of time. The whole main cast is just a bunch of white people striving for the most boring heteronormative relationship, with an Indian-born funny man thrown in. And even the queer-coded characters didn't turn out to be so. I always felt the show was funny, but we've grown so much since then. It's nice seeing you explore asexuality with your protagonist. They'll talk about it eventually, I guess. Thanks for continuing to write!

💙 Thank you for reading and commenting, as always.

Sounds complicated. It is. Thank you

Can't keep a good man chained.

I love going through your comments as you're binging the chapters—judging by the notifications I'm receiving—, and seeing theories pop up in your head ! You made my morning.

I love new theories! Thank you 💙

@drpaladin If he has any wits about him, they shouldn't be following him that fast... 😶

@drpaladin ! Thank you for reading and thank you for the comment. I'd say, this usually shouldn't happen. I can't say more.

I mean, they are in a bar? I just knew I had to include "We're not in Kansas anymore" 🤷‍♂️ I feel like you're making fun of my attempts to show not tell Whenever I think my plot may become too ridiculous, I have my character make fun of it. Thank you for the comments!

So everyone puts a thumb up on my question if I mixed something up, but no one will tell me if I did