tomw

I feel with & for you. Like you, the love of my life, Matt, died in December '98. That poem you posted speaks volumes to me. It was a harrowing time, which is probably why people are reluctant to relive it all over again. Kind of like how participants in WWII were always reluctant to speak of their experiences. I already sent an email to Jonathan with my personal recollections, so I won't go over it again here. Suffice to say, I miss Matt so much to this day and and still pissed at what happened in the 80's--a lot more compassion then might have saved so many lives, including Matt's and several other close friends who died. As Trebs recommended above, if you haven't, definitely read Shilts's And the Band Played On for the details on all that. I truly welcome stories that involve this subject because of increasing infection rates among young gay men these days. We can't, by silence, let this happen again. I recall the old Act Up slogan: Silence = Death. So effing true even today. To witness some of the real, personal impact of the AIDS holocaust (I don't use that term lightly) visit the Names Project web site where you can view the many thousands of quilt panels loved ones made for their friends who died. http://www.aidsquilt.org. Matt & I went to the March on Washington in the final days of the senior Bush administration where all the Quilt panels to date completely covered the Mall in DC (there are photos of that in their site). Peace & hugs to all the bereaved.

I hate knowing how a story ends up. The twists and turns along the way to the unknown end is what keeps me reading. I guess in the back of my head I hope everything will work out okay for the protagonists (and even the antagonists), but I like not knowing for sure that it will. As for killing off characters, I'm not that wild about it, but it can add depth to a story if handled well (i.e. the consequences are worked on among the survivors). An example: in Desert Dropping, I found Aaron to be a very interesting character, second only to Rory, but I felt that the consequences of the death at the end weren't totally covered, but maybe that left room for a sequel all about Aaron.

Most of those books have started some important historical movements. As such, opinions about them are layered over with all sorts of irrelevant 'stuff', so it's good to go to the source to discover for oneself what the big deal is. You have to keep a skeptical mind about anything you read like these, and if you do, then there's not much harm from reading them. If nothing else reading these sorts of books helps develop a critical mind that isn't taken in easily.

The more I think about it, trust is a really interesting thing in a relationship. It's something that's kind of assumed from the outset, but it's also something that is earned/reaffirmed over time. Jealousy is the enemy & destroyer of trust and is more about the jealous person than about the relationship. I'd guess the girl in your story is jealous in a lot of her relationships. I also bet she doesn't realy like herself all that much.