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Westie

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  1. Westie

    What a whirlwind Weekend

    By Westie,

    Paya and I have had THE BEST weekend ever. And at the risk of making everyone throw up with our couple-cuteness, I thought I would recount the weekend here for everyone to enjoy - especially because the last time we visited London was the UK GA meet in August.
     
    On Thursday I met Paya at Manchester airport. His plane was early and my train was late, resulting in a nice meeting alongside one of those "rolling road" people movers (the flat escalators). We took a train back to the city that lies next to my small town, and I got to show Paya some more of my home and its surrounding areas.
     
    The main purpose for the visit was for Paya to get to know my Mum better and we went out for a wonderful meal that evening. Paya used his considerable charm and intelligent humour to win my mothers loving gaze. He also won the eternal adulation of my dog - a border collie - who was delighted to find this visitor wanted to play fetch with her and had a pigs ear as a treat for her.
     
    The following morning we set out on the train, and were joined at our table by a group of girls off for a party weekend in London. After a few occasions of "subtly" rubbing my leg and getting no reaction, one of the girls started asking us questions - where we were from etc. It was only afterwards that we realised that this was the first time we had been completely open that we are a couple with complete strangers. This was oddly liberating, and for the majority of the weekend we engaged in public displays of affection without worry or concern.
     
    On the Friday evening, we decided to have shopping time - as required on our gay cards - and we promptly went to fortnum & masons, via the Westminster abbey, Buckingham Palace and Green Park. The visit to fortnums was characterised by paya getting excited by the products, and me getting annoyed with the prices. in my opinion, £20 for a bottle of jam is obscene, and £90 for a box of chocolates is laughable. We bought some Jams and Preserves and then had a walk on Regent Street via picadilly circus.
     
    I simply MUST tell you about our hotel. We had an exceptional view from our room on the 11th floor. We could see Canary Wharf tower and the Millennium dome, and almost the whole of the docklands. Before anyone thinks I'm bragging about how much we spent, I will say right now that this was VERY cheap for a London hotel. We spent only £90 per night, including breakfasts. We got a room upgrade mainly because the girl at reception was Czech and wanted to look after Paya, as very few Czech's stay at that hotel.
     
    On Saturday was the main event. We had bought tickets to watch a show. "We Will Rock You" is a musical/show extraveganza based on the music of the groundbreaking band, Queen. It is written by Ben Elton and if you love Rock Music, Sexy Guys and the idea of Britney Spears dying (im serious), you will LOVE this show. this is not a "gay musical", nor is it "Faaaabulous darling". If you want a show thats "out loud and proud" for the gay community, then you can go watch "Priscella Queen of the desert" - but if you want great music, a good time and enjoy the odd perve on a scantilly clad GA GA boy, then We Will Rock You is an ideal show.
     
    On saturday evening we ate at "Little Italy" in SoHo. it was one of the best meals we have ever had, and was authentically italian. the fact that the young waiter was under pressure and all the staff were new just added to the charm of the place. It didnt matter that we got our main course before the starter.
     
    After dinner we went to Westminster. A late night visit to Westminster is our "thing" - we like to hear the bells and see the Palace of Westminster (parliament) all lit up and nice. This time though there was something missing. Last time we were there, we had a partner in crime, helping us to leer at the passing hotties (male and female) and admiring the very VERY VERY scantilly clad young people going about their business. Last time, we had Nephy with us. and it was sooo much fun. we realised then just how important some friendships are, and that sometimes its not just about being a couple - but about having those friends we are so comfortable with that we can be ourselves around them. So we sent Nephy a text telling her how we wished she was there
     
    Now I'm sitting in the 1st class lounge at Euston. An hour ago i saw Paya onto his train to Luton, and now I have 3 hours to wait for my own train. All I can think of is how glad I am that its only 26 Days until we meet again.
     
    Pusu :* A Jeste Jednu :*, Miluji te Pája.
     
    Love to you all
     
    West
  2. Westie

    It's a beautiful day :D

    By Westie,

    So no blog for months and months and months - and then 3 come along at once.
     
    So last week I had a job interview. Actually, it was a SECOND interview. You might recall that I had a few issues in my job, and actually over the last 6 months have gone from being Head of Department to being an (albeit highly paid) consultant-manager. Wheres before I had anywhere between 20 and 45 staff dependent on requirements, now I have just myself and my assistant.
     
    So, i have been thinking for a while that I needed a new job, a fresh start and a different challenge. Today I got the call.
     
    While the company still have a few things to "negotiate" (mainly my financial package and a few peripherals), they have "informally" told me that the job is mine should I want it. Notwithstanding the negotiations still ongoing, this is going to dramatically change my standard of living, and more importantly, allow me to save for moving to be with my Paja :wub:
     
    So im all excited. I should get the "formal" offer next week or the week after..... and while i know it could all still fall through, im very exited by the prospect of leaving. Though I am dreading resigning, particularly because my current boss is the guy who gave me all the opportunities I've had. The last year of Hell involved working for other people, but now im back under the wing of my mentor (a senior director) it will be PERSONALLY very hard to say goodbye.
     
    But i HAVE to do it. I NEED to get away and try something new. I need the name of another company on my CV/resume before i move to the Czech republic.....
     
    right now I feel FREE as a bird......
     
    So... apologies for the rambling post. Love to you all
     
     
     
     
    Westie
     
     
  3. Westie
    Most of you will know that there was a GA meet in London this weekend. For those of you who followed the evolution of the idea to meet, originally, it was emulated who suggested that it would be great to get all the UK members together. so the first things is; UK people were in the minority. In fact, we had a pretty diverse coverage (forgive me if I miss anything):
     

    England Czech Republic France Australia Finland Netherlands And most exotic of all.... Deepest darkest Wales! It was great to see so many people coming together to spend time with each other!
     
    Now, for myself and Paya, this weekend was as much a romantic getaway/Tourist mania weekend as it was a GA meet. I arrived on the Friday having endured a less than pleasant journey from Lancashire, and came into euston station. I had paid for First Class so that i could use the free wifi on the train. However, if I thought that having a first class ticket meant "first class service" i was to be bitterly disappointed. As it happens, I ended up using the free wifi to send a complaint to Virgin trains while i was still on board.
     
    However, arriving at my hotel, I was confronted with what has to be one of the most beautiful rooms I have ever stayed in. If anyone is visiting london and needs the name of a reasonable hotel at a reasonable price, send me a Private Message - and you can have my recommendation. The room was laid out in cherry wood furnishings, with a bathroom of white tile and black marble floors. it was stunning. Our view looked out onto a leafy square to the rear of the hotel. You would not have thought that you were in the middle of a busy metropolis.
     
    I went to pick up Paya at the airport, and arrived just as he was coming out of the arrival gate. we took the train back to Liverpool street, and after a brief ... err.... delay, in our hotel room, we went on a walk. We crossed the millennium bridge and walked along the river towards westminster, and experienced the city lit at night. We crossed a number of places where the scenes from LOVE ACTUALLY were filmed. We shall skip over my fear of bridges over water..... Nobody needs to know that I was hyperventilating on the bridge.
     
    Saturday was the day of the meet. Everyone was meeting at the British museum, but I had acquired some tickets for a tour of the Palace of Westminster (parliament) for myself an paya. Afterwards we walked along Whitehall (with a short delay caused by a torrential downpour of rain, which lasted 20 minutes: we sheltered in the underground), and along the Mall to Buckingham Palace. At this point we were very late, and arrived at the restaurant to find a very hungry group of 11 GA members waiting for us. We had a great time with them, a nice meal and a nice walk. Unfortunately, Paya and I had plans again, and so we left the group to their plans and headed for the Theatre.
     
    This is where Paya and I recieved our Gay card!! We watched CHICAGO (the last showing in London) and it was AMAZING. So many really hot guys wearing very very little.... and what they were wearing was see through..... :drool:
     
    Sunday saw us taking photos at the greenwich meridian (the centre of World Time), and then a visit to the tower of london. No self respecting gay guys could have gone to london without going to see the amazing diamonds, rubies and pearls on display in the jewel tower.... The british Crown Jewels really are a sight to behold. Unfortunately, no pearl necklace.....
     
    We made a breif sojourn to Harrods for some supplies (tea for paya, coffee for me, chocolates for both)... and then met up with the GA crowd for an evening meal (we were late again ). It turned out that they decided to spend their tourist time on a crawl of bars and clubs. What they got up to that afternoon is obviously their story to tell, but ive seen pictures that suggest it at least parially involved squeezing everyone into a phone box, and Marzipan carrying someone on her back....
     
    Paya and I ended up rounding off the evening taking night photos of Westminster and the London Eye. We were very lucky in that Nephy joined us too. We have a very nice picture (not to be published ) of the three of us in front of The Palace of Westminster.
     
    This morning saw Paya and I enjoy a continental breakfast, before some last minute photo taking at St Pancras station (the refurbished Hotel there is a sight to behold).... before a devastating goodbye at Liverpool Street Station.
     
    I sit now in the first class lounge at euston waiting for my train. Im very early, but I figure i will take as much advantage as I can of the free drinks and snacks, to make up for the terrible outwards journey. Here is hoping that the homeward stretch will be much better...
     
    Paya and I are back in London in November and thoroughly excited by it. The GA crew are talking about a Paris 2012 meet... but based on finance concerns, I'm more inclined to a Skegness 2012 trip myself. Though..... there may be a reason that Paya and I cant make the 2012 meet...
     
    365 days..... And I make the permanent move to the czech republic. That is our timeline, and I cant wait. And although I'm trying to spend more time away from GA to experience.... you know... REALITY more ... I will always hold affection for the place that brought me and my Paya together.
     
    Love you all
     
    West
     
     
  4. Westie

    Democracy at work

    By Westie,

    I haven't written a blog in a while - if i'm being honest i have been trying to "withdraw" from the GA community slightly more over the last few months for various reasons. However, I though this was important enough to break my silence, and so I want to take the time up front to thank anyone who takes the time to read the below.
     
    A few weeks ago, the united kingdom government launched an "e-petition" site, where basically you can submit a title of a petition, and once it receives over 100,000 signatures, that petition gets referred to parliament for debate (with an additional committee stage first to ensure that parliament doesn't spend huge amounts of time on petitions to lower tax to 0% etc, which of course millions of people will sign).
     
    The first e-petition to go over 100,000 was to remove the social security benefits of anyone convicted of crimes related to the London/UK riots of the last weeks. Obviously this is a populist cause that probably wont get anywhere because of legal challenges and our commitments in the Human Rights Act etc.
     
    However, i still genuinely think that this site has the potential as a force for good. Here is an example. There is a current petition to legalise Gay Marriage (as opposed to a civil union/partnership). i think pushing a debate in parliament - even if it doesn't get a vote - would allow us to see which politicians are just paying lip service to equality, and which of them are really committed to us as their constituents.
     
    Moreover, i think this issue is big enough to ensure that this government follows through on its commitment to parliamentary debate. It will also keep Gay issues on the national agenda - because it does seem to me that ever since civil partnerships were introduced, everyone considers the "gay issue" solved.
     
    Now, its only open to UK voters - but I would like to strongly encourage all voters from the UK to go and place their name on this petition...
     
    e-Petitions
     
    Those who are of the same mind, I would like to encourage (ONLY IF YOU ARE COMFORTABLE) for you to spread the word about this petition to your friends and associates using facebook, twitter, google+ etc. Spread the word. As your friends to spread the word too.
     
    Thank-you for your time
  5. Westie
    Tomorrow is a very special day for me. when I joined GA in April last year, i was lost. I was very much alone and very desperate.
     
    Successful at my job, mainly because in the absence of a life (and love) i worked 15-18 hour days. I was even on occasion taking an extra set of clothes to work, catching 3 hours sleep on the couch in my office, and then starting all over again. I was a mess. I wasn't eating, I had no friends, no social outlet. The person I was closest to in the world was my boss, and hell, we really were not that close.
     
    My personal relationships failing, my health began to suffer. The marked decline in my health in the 3 years before last April were astonishing - except that I didnt notice. I was too busy working.
     
    My only "gay" outlet was some stories I had stumbled across - the "Chronicles of an Academic Predator". As I got consumed in the world of stories, a hunger grew for more. I was reading them on my iPhone on the way to work. I was reading them in meetings.
     
    I clicked a wrong button one day, and somehow ended up here at GA, and having lurked for a while, I decided to join up.
     
    Following from a blog entry I wrote, I had caught someones attention. He has a very forceful personality and we started talking in chat, then through IMs, then through Yahoo. We had a shared interest in politics, and so he stayed up with me most of election night watching the results come in, even though he had work the next day. I was falling in love fast.
     
    At the end of June 2010, we met for the first time, and when I held his hand for the first time, the feeling was electric. I knew right then that this was no fluke - i wasn't desperately clinging on to any driftwood of affection that was passing by. This wasn't a lifeline to a drowning man. It was a whole damn cruiseship. The real deal.
     
    The last year has been the BEST of my life. I work less hours (around half as many, truth be told), a travel, i have someone who loves me, emails me when im at work, we chat every night and have PERFECT visits every month or so (sometimes more, sometimes less). My health is almost unrecognisable. I have something on my face, called a smile, that still frightens my work colleagues. they all wonder where the ruthless soul-less manager has gone, and where the hell he found a conscience.
     
    My man - the sexiest, most handsome, most talented, remarkable, amazing, beautiful, adoreable, charming, SUPERLATIVE man - has changed my life. And so tomorrow is our anniversary, and I am determined that it will be, the first of many.
     
    West
     
     
  6. Westie
    Earlier this month, the HM Government passed the electoral reform bill. This contained a number of reforms, but the two main points are (1) Equalization of the sizes of constituencies, (2) a reduction int he overall number of MP's and (3) a referendum on a change in the voting system.
     
    Our current voting system is called "First Past The Post" or FPTP, which is to say, you cast your vote, and the person with the most votes wins. It's relatively simple, and actually the vast majority of nations in the world employ it.
     
    The proposed change to the voting system is to move to "AV" (Alternative vote, whereby you rank the candidates in order of preference, and, if nobody gets more than 50% of the vote, they eliminate the candidate in last position and distribute all the second preferences. Its a costly process (£250m to be precise), and makes (in my opinion) a mockery of the "one person, one vote" rule, because supporters of fringe parties will effect the outcome disproportionately.
     
    the interesting thing is the polling. When you ask people "Should we change the voting system to AV" they wholeheartedly support it. When you ask the rather different question "AV is a system whereby [explain the system] - would you support a change to AV" - most people say no. This would indicate that while people support reform, they do NOT support the Alternative Vote as an option.
     
    When you look into reasons for supporting reform, it also seems that people are confusing "political reform" (removing underlying corruption, creating a more honest and open process etc) with "Voting reform". The "Yes" camp seem to be selling the idea that Alternative Vote will eliminate corruption in politics. It Wont. and they are confusing people in order to weight people in favour of changing the system.
     
    Anyway, for those who might be interested, the "no to AV" website can be found here
     
    West
     
     
  8. Westie

    General update

    By Westie,

    Some of you might have seen my last blog entry which basically said that I was being made redundant from my role at work....
     
    Well, yesterday I was informed by my Divisions MD/CEO that there was never any question of me leaving the company I work for, and that effective next week I would be moving to work for the senior management team supporting bid work and looking at financial controls.
     
    I should be happy I guess..... it's a huge compliment. but for two reasons i'm a little disappointed. (1) They removed my "at risk" status, which means that if I leave the company i wont get a pay-off leading to (2) They severely restricted my choices....
     
    that said, in the current climate, i should be very glad to be employed at all, especially in a senior position...
     
     
  9. Westie

    Stressful times

    By Westie,

    I am, if i'm not too immodest, quite successful career-wise. I'm 26, and without the advantage of having training or a degree, I have risen to quite a senior position within a large company. I have worked very hard, and put my blood sweat and tears (and 18 hour days) into one company. I have completed tasks that were, shall we say, morally grey? I have subjugated my conscience and my pride in order to further the aims of the "company".
     
    Last week, I was informed my role was redundant.
     
    Some of you may know that I have spent much time AGONISING over sacking 16 people last year. I hated doing it. Now, I find my role is redundant, I feel very much like i was used to do the hard work and then dropped like a stone once everything was put back into shape.
     
    As it turns out, I have been offered another role within the company. The question is, Do I really want to work there any more? Do i want to work for a company that constantly requires me to suppress my personal morals, convictions and beliefs?
     
    I have been offered another role. The money still needs to be sorted out, and it would mean working away during the week, living in a hotel.... coming home only at weekends...
     
    there is a lot of stress to that sort of commute.... and there is a lot of uncertainty and cost... but at any rate I am seriously considering taking my payout and running ....
     
    Decisions are hard.....
     
     
     
     
     
  10. Westie
    WARNING - THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT TO THIS POST
     
    I woke up at 4am this morning. I just couldnt sleep....
     
    So i started writing...... creating character profiles..... and then i thought (being an IT Geek) - wouldn't it be great to have a place to store all my story notes..... so by 9am I had a database structure in place. I know there are already programs out there, but they are inferior to me simply because
     
    (1) I didn't design those ones
     
    (2) I can get to be my own Database Administrator, and like the power trip
     
    (3) Most of those programs INDEX on the character first and last names
     
    I got to the point of setting up a little referential integrity, when i thought.... WHAT THE #?&! am i doing???
     
    I guess im just bored and need an outlet...... Seriously - when you start playing around with databases just to pass the time, there is something wrong in your head....
     
     
  11. Westie
    OK. So, I'm writing yet another blog entry. Mainly becuase my Paya is working and in an effort to support him I'm trying to be less demanding of his time. It's true - i'm an attention whore. So I'm being a good boy and distracting myself while my man does what he needs to do.
     
    'tis the season then..... NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS....
     
     

    This is the year I get fit and healthy. Not just for me, but for Paya too. Just before Christmas, the doctors managed to get to the bottom of some medical problems I've been having. This should help A LOT This year I will finish a whole story. I have an idea. i know the story from beginning to end. Now I just need to get it to paper. This year, I will learn to control money better. I dont need that iPad, or a new laptop, or an upgraded iPhone. This year I will read one book per week. I used to do this regularly - but since meeting my man i have slipped a little. This year I will make a study of Czech and eastern European history. This year I will learn Czech to the point where, at our Christmas Dinner NEXT YEAR, I will be able to hold a full conversation This year I will reprioritise my life. Paya and I come first in all things. No more putting others before our own happiness. I will worry less about work I will learn how to make potato dumplings as well as my mother in law I will tidy my room ... HONEST
  12. Westie

    Have I told you lately....

    By Westie,

    Relationships. To embrace the cliche - no man is an island. Nobody exists in a vacuum. When you accept someone into your life, you do so in the knowledge that they have had a life before you - and in my case, he has lived 27 years before he met me. He has a life, habits, friends and family that all exist outside of (and indeed before) his love for me came into being.
     
    One of the important things about a relationship, is the ability of each partner to "fit" into the life of the other. This will involve some compromise on each side. I will give up coffee, if he will give up sushi (I'm joking here Paya) - sometimes by necessity, some with have to "fit in" more than others. In my case, I plan to move out to the Czech Republic, so it is very much a case that I am "fitting in" to Paya's life, much more than he is fitting into mine.
     
    There is however, in many relationships, an obstance that can hinder the creation of a successful partnership. There are three words that can make a man's balls retreat back up into his body faster than you can say "boo". Those words are... "Mother-in-law".
     
    Not me. My "Mother in law" has made me feel so welcome. Like a long lost son she has greeted me, accepted me into her home. She has tolerated me taking over her kitchen to make a traditional Christmas Dinner. She has insisted on ironing some of my clothes over my strong objections
     
    My sister in law too has welcomed me like a second brother. She made me a Christmas Card that brought tears to my eyes. I am not a demonstrative or emotional person, but I was overwhelmed by their spirit and generosity. I had many many presents under the tree - it felt just like home.
     
    And that is important - because moving out here, I need to feel like I am "fitting in" and accepted. I need to feel embraced, becuase leaving my own family will be hard. I feel very much like I am gaining a new family. Although nothing can replace my own mum and my friends and family in England - i have a very worthy and welcoming substitute here in the Czech Republic.
     
    Moving out here will be ahrd. It is still some time away, but it is much easier to know that when I eventually move here, I will have not only my boyfriend, but a whole family out here to support me.
     
    I feel really and truely blessed.
     
    Now, what do you think my chances are of convincing the entire Czech nation to take on English as their first language? You see, while i am sitting here now I am meant to be studying Czech. Instead I am writing a blog entry. I have never been very good at languages. I have a passable high school grade in French. I understand a smattering of latin where it is scripture based. Otherwise I am lost with Languages. My brain is just not wired that way. But you know what? That means I dont give up. That just means I have to work MUCH MUCH HARDER to make up for my lack of natural talent. Though....... maybe I need some motivation..... (Paya.... that is a hint....)
     
    Anyway.... sorry for the rambling post. Im not sure how best to express to you all how blessed I feel. Im ... well... a little overwhelmed and this is pretty much the only outlet I have to do so.
     
    West
  13. Westie
    I woke up at 3am - which incidentally was only 10 minutes before my alarm. Dont tell Paya, but I only got to bed at 11pm, despite assurances that I would try to get some solid sleep. My mother - god bless her - took me to the airport. For those of you who live over the pond, you might not be aware that much of Europe has been at a standstill due to Heavy Snowfall. There are about 8 inches of snow (dont ask me how i measured ) where I live, but fortunately, the drive to the airport was pretty clear.
     
    We hit the dreaded "freezing fog" - which the car thermometer told me made it -12 c. But I arrived at the airport safely, which brings me to where I am now - sat in the airport starbucks, drinking a Caramel Machiato and eating a croissant, that being my staple fare before a flight.
     
    I have been meditating on the differences between this year, and last year. Last Christmas, I was very much alone. Surrounded by company and friends, I felt like an outsider. The only single man in a room full of couples. I can't tell you how lost and alone that felt. I remember in January feeling quite depresssed, and getting rather "addicted" to onlne Gay Fiction. I have been a fan of Mark Arbour since he first wrote CAP (in fact, I had read "on the Mark" even earlier), but now I actively went in search of an outlet.
     
    I was vaguely aware of GA becuase, as a member of Mark's yahoo group, I remember being frustrated that he always posted at GA first and THEN to his group. But I have to admit I thought the site lacked.... a look and feel. Though I have since learned that it is better than most sites out there.
     
    Anyway, I got into a world where I was addicted to online stories, even reading them on my iPhone on the way to the office. Coupled with working 15 hour days as a matter of course, this kinda took up all my time.
     
    I then plucked up the courage to join here at GA. for no other reason I guess than i liked the idea of the forums. Then, on the anniversary of the death of a very dear friend (and my first boyfriend) I wrote a blog.
     
    I dont know what phrase did it, but the blog caught Paya's attention, and, through talking online we very quickly developed feelings for one another. We arranged to meet.
     
    Many of you will remember the "dance" we did - both talking about our relationships without explicitly saying who our significant other was (though many of you - bleu mainly - guessed accurately). This wasnt any sort of convived "teaser" or anything. It was just that GA was the only outlet for both of us.
     
    I knew before I even saw his face that Paya was the man for me. BUt when I saw him that first time when he landed in Manchester, I knew this was forever, 7 Months on, we are spending our first Christmas together, and I cant even think how lucky I am. This time last year, I was sad and alone. Now I have a boyfriend, the love of my life - and just as important I have made many friends here who I care about very much.
     
    SO I want to wish everyone all the happiness in the world. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.
     
    Miluji Te.
     
    West
  14. Westie

    Grandma's are magic

    By Westie,

    Yesterday I went out for Dinner with my Mum and my Grandma.  it was delicious thank-you very much.  We had a traditional English Roast Dinner, a few glasses of wine and a good time was had by all of us.  But....   Why is this the subject of a blog?  Well, to answer that, I need to tell you a little about my Grandma.  Well, the first thing is, she is totally unflappable.  There is nothing you could say to her that would shock her - at least not visibly.  She has brought up 12 children of her own, has over 25 grandchildren and 16 great grandchildren.  She is 80 years old, and was brought up in a bygone age, and was the last of a bygone class.
     
    My grandparents lived in a large farm house, standing on over an acre of gardens.  She served tea in a bone china cup, from a silver service.  She is always well dressed - ALWAYS - and regardless of where she is going or shat she is doing, she always has on her pearl necklace and clasp brooch.  In short, she is a lady of a long ended age.
     
    I am rarely shocked by people, but you might imagine the look on my face when my 80 Year old Grandmother, all prim and proper and a genuine English Lady told me this Joke....
     
    "An elderly couple were both in their 90's, and unfortunately the man passed away.
     
    Their grand-daughter came to see her Grandma; and said "I'm so sorry about Grandad.  I love you both so much, how did it happen?"
     
    "Well" Grandma replies, "We were having our usual sunday morning sex..."
     
    "Sex at 90!!" Exclaimed her grand-daughter
     
    "Of course", her Grandma smiled. "We timed ourselves with the church bells - In with the Dings, out on the Dongs"
     
    "He'd still be alive today if that damn ice cream truck hadnt gone past".....
     
     
    Now honestly - it aint the best joke in the world, but coming from my grandma, it was priceless.  I love my Grandma so much.  She's magic
  16. Westie
    Ladies and Gentlemen.
     
    Today, the most important person in my life turns 27. It is a milestone to be sure, but not usually an important one. For us though, 27 is THE most important. I explain why further on.
     
    I gave Paya a small gift, with the following inscription (well, a similar inscription, this one slightly edited)
     
    -------------------
     
    Today is a special day, of a special month of a very special year. Today you are 27 years old. You have never been 27 before, and never will you be again. This birthday is special not for the number of those years, but because we celebrate this anniversary for the first time together.
     
    I have so many plans for our future. So many things I want to do, places to visit, people to meet. I can only imagine doing them with you - and no other. You are my world.
     
    Before I met you my life was like an unfinished jigsaw puzzle. All the pieces were there, but there was no order or pattern. When you came into my life, you gave these pieces order and purpose. You painted for me a picture on those pieces that is more beautiful than I ever imagined my life could be.
     
    Our lives together are going to be an adventure. It will be one of which even the greatest storytellers could not conceive. Ours shall be a romance of epic proportions. How long will the story span? Who knows! But what I DO KNOW - is that I want to find out together.
     
    Miluji Te My Darling.
     
    Yours forever
     
    　
     
    -----------------------
     
    I actually wrote the original version to this - along with a number of other blog entries on the plane. I visited Paya in the Czech Republic in August 2010, and these were my thoughts on leaving. Reading them back now, would I change anything? Not a chance! I could certainly write more. I could make you all sick with the soppy romance of it all - thankfully there is still enough of the reserved Brit in me that I will not lay my emotions on the table for all to see. But at the same time, we live in a world of war and greed, a world of distrust, of the disenchanted and the disenfranchised. So no matter how much you may tire of hearing it, I
  17. Westie
    Im bored... so:
     
    I have a passion for History. Specifically British Military History. I have a few hundred books on the subject in case anyone is interested ... Linked to the above, I have a fascination with the English Raj in India I have a collection of books that is too big for my home; they are currently in storage. I have read all of them. Before I had an "enlightening experience", It was my intention to become a Roman Catholic Priest I can trace my lineage on one side of the family back to 946, and a gentleman called "Leofwine" Everyone has heroes. Mine is unusual - its not a sports star or an actor. It is (The Late) King Hussein of Jordan. I have watched almost every episode of the West Wing. Josh Lyman is my idol. Sam Seaborn (rob Lowe) is my.... *ahem* **COUGH** The town I live in (Northern England) has a designated Tiger Catcher "Just in case". There is no record of Tigers ever having even visited the town. I love "The Godfather" trilogy I have never changed a childs nappy - and have no intention of ever doing so. Well... i hope you found some of that interesting.... I know it killed 30 minutes or so for me.
     
    Feel free to comment
     
    West
     
  19. Westie
    This has been a difficult week for me. You may be hearing a lot about "the economic recovery", but private companies such as the one I work for are alwasy going to seek to cut costs where possible. Earlier this month I found that the department which I lead was merging with another. I was asked to lead the resultant department, but at the same time cut staffing numbers by 40%. Over the next month, as more "mini deptartments" also transfer to my control, I am being asked to make process improvements and service changes that will cut staffing levels by between 30% and 60% (higher is better for the bottom line).
     
    Yesterday, I terminated the employment of 7 people - which is very much a first wave. One of the people I let go was a single mum. Granted, she was a professional woman, and received a significant redundency package based on time served and her current grade and salary - but with 3 children that money was not going to last long. Now, up until yesterday, I had gone through this process in a cold and calculated way, assessing performance against value, looking at key Performance Indicators to score every individual in the department.
     
    This woman was the 6th person on my list, and I will be honest - I had gone about my task with good humour. I was not particularly affected by what I had to do - it was just part of my job. This woman however was very difficult. By that point, most people knew that if they were called in to my office, a fair number were going to be let go. 5 people had already cleared their desk, so this woman comes into my office literally shaking from fear and already in tears. I did what I was meant to do, explained why we need to make cuts, and then delivered the bad news - all the while with a hysterical woman crying her eyes out..
     
    As I was escorting the woman from the building, she rounded on me in anger and asked "How the ?! do you sleep at night". My response was to open the door and ask her to walk through it.
     
    Later on though it dawned on me that I had done this task far to easily. I prided myself before that although I have been promoted quite quickly to a reasonably senior position at a yong age - I ahve kept my human side. Yesterday proved me very wrong. How the Hell did I get to the point where I could make 5 poeople redundent without even batting an eyelid? Why did I not feel butterflies in my stomach? Where was my human sympathy? WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY HUMANITY?
     
    I used to pride myself on being in touch with the feelings and opnion of my team. But now I refer to them dismissively as "staff" and think in terms of numbers, not names. I make harsh decisions based on budget and savings, and I cant remember once in the last 6 months where I have though about the human cost of those decisions.
     
    This morning, I feel very much as if I've lost something of myself. In moving on and becoming more successful, I have forgotten a little bit where I came from. I have substituted my greatest strength - my human quality - for a harsh managerial persona that I really dont recognice - and as of this morning, its a persona that I dont like much either.
     
    West
     
    PS - Dont mistake this for me feeling sorry for myself. This is the only place where I can post a totally anonymous blog, and be totally honest with myself. So I apologise in advance for subjecting you all to my tales of woe
  20. Westie

    The First Goodbye

    By Westie,

    It was the longest walk,
    And I faught back the tears as hard as i could,
    But in the end a a dam could not hold the water,
     
    He held my hand, and tried to make small talk,
    Knwing that the dreaded moment,
    was mere minutes away...
     
    I felt his finger, stroking my palm
    conveying so many words,
    Words I could not say, Let alone think
     
    My tears came harder.
     
    We were surrounded by people,
    But were incredibly alone.
    Just Him and Me - and this silent dread...
     
    We came to the end of the tunnell, and down the escalators,
    and saw that we were there
    the place we both did not want to be...
     
    I clung onto him,
    Kissed Him...
    Held him...
     
    I tried to convey eveything I felt in that final embrace,
    but i knew it was impossible,
    That much love can only be seen through the eyes
     
    Piercing into the soul.
     
    I got onto the escalator.... and looked back...
    He was glued to the same spot....
    My eyes never left him, until finally I could see him no more
     
    And then I was broken....
    I considered running back,
    But knew that would only be harder....
     
    So I walked away, with pain in every step
    My heart was breaking...
    as i said that first Goodbye
     
    ...
    ....
  21. Westie
    I did something impulsive and irrational today. Not like me at all. Normally I am calm, rational and incredibly deliberate in my actions.... but since meeting paya i have learned to be more spontaneous.... and to live in the moment more...
     
    And so I was having coffee with my mum, and the converation went something like this...
     
    Me: "Mum, i wanted to tell you that im in a relationship..."
     
    Mum: " About time, thats wonderful"
     
    Me: "Mum, its with a boy"
     
    Mum: "So...?"
     
    So my mum now knows i'm Gay. I like men. And she knows I like one man in particular. And she doesnt mind at all. it turns out she already kinda knew... so much for being "so far into the closet, im in narnia"
     
    Now... I dont think im ready to tell anyone else just yet.... but mum's reaction is encouraging....
     
    I know that with the support of my man Paya.... the world is not so scary anymore...
     
    Love to y'alls
     
    Westie
  22. Westie
    OK.... this is the easiest blog i've ever had to write.
     
    My wonderful boyfriend wrote an entry yesterday - and for all you perv's out there... im not gonna give any extra details.
     
    Friday was the first day of the rest of my life... When I saw paya through coming out of the airport terminal, i was terrified. We were both nervous - and made stupid small talk to try and calm down... it didn't work. The first time I felt truly at ease was when i decided to grasp the nettle and to hell with consequence. I held Paya's hand for the first time in public at the train station. And I felt the calming effect spread from our entwined fingers, right to my heart.
     
    We have had romance.... Dinner, private dancing.... we have been to the gay village and perved on half naked dancers in the street - and then gone back to the hotel room, because for both of us, the dancers were not a patch on the person we have.
     
    I cried like a pussy this morning. The thought of him leaving was just to sad. But it is the thought of us being together in the future that keeps me going.
     
    To everyone else im gonna say one thing only about sex.... and that is that sex is only half the story. if you have someone who will hold you and adore you, then that is a million times better.
     
    West
  23. Westie
    I started this blog, thinking that I was embarking on a journey... learning to accept myself, learning to love myself, and learning who I am. I genuinely didn't think that I would move forward so quickly. I didn't expect things to change as quick as a switch flicking in my head. But they did. Because I was struck by a thunderbolt.
     
    Don't worry - I'm not gonna make you all sick by writing a sycophantic tribute to my guy and how wonderful he is. I think most of you who read this will already know that I found someone right here at GA. And that relationship, however it moves forward, has taught me some fundamental things about myself.I am a fundamentally cautious person - everything I do is calm and considered. However, he makes me spontaneous, and thats probably a good thing. I've fallen head over heels, and that's kinda scary, but wonderful at the same time. I know its early to talk about love.... but thats where I am, and I think thats where he is too.
     
    So the question is, where to now? I mean, once I said the words, "I am Gay" - it seemed so easy just to accept it. It was just so natural a skin to fit into... "I am Gay" - no longer an issue to say the words to myself.... it is only a matter of time before i can say it to other people too. And I know the risks.... I say "gay", other people say "Faggot", "Cocksucker".... well guess what? I'm comfortable with those too. "Faggot"? Yep thats me. "Cocksucker"? Well actually I am quite minded to indulge, so yes, thats me too Throw me an insult? i will wear it like a badge of pride. Sure... those words hurt more when they are said with venom and hatred.... Im sure they will hurt more when they come from my family. But I'm prepared for that. I'm getting stronger....
     
    I have made a good many friends here at GA, who are extremely supportive. Some have given me new perspective. There's Cia, who is incredibly sweet, generous and kind. Joey is wonderful... leaving little messages that never fail to make me smile.... Tarin is a shameless flirt, which makes us kindred spirits. Blue Phoenix is incredibly easy to talk to... I found I genuinely missed him when I was away this week. There are others too (too many to mention probably). Obviously, there is Paya
     
    And there are stories too.... I've never spoken to Dom Luka.... but his stories are incredibly inspirational to me.... I've spoken of my love for the CAP series by Mark Arbour before, and then of course I get escapism with some of the fantasy genre....
     
    So what i'm trying to say in this long rambling post is... well... This site has really helped me in the last few months... and it's not something I find easy to say, but... Thank you ALL OF YOU
  24. Westie

    Our first break....

    By Westie,

    So my guy and I are planning our first weekend away.... naturally, i want it to be perfect. The perfect room, with a perfect bed, a perfect bottle of champagne - you know the score.
     
    im so excited.... its just over a month to go (36 dyas and counting) but im so worked up already....
     
    im looking forward to the little things... Holding hands as we walk.... waking up in his arms.... watching TV as we doze off to sleep. of course, im looking forward to other activities too, but just *being* with him, and us being a real couple without worrying who might see... that is the most important thing for me.
     
    so... transport is booked... the hotel is reserved... the champagne is on order....
     
    I can feel the magic already...
  25. Westie
    Soooo... Im a fool. An idiot. and its been that way for 10 years.
     
    10 years since i first slept with a man. But in a world obsessed by labels, and in a world where homosexuality was a sin, i convinced myself that I was bisexual. And it made things easier. Becuase to me, I was at least half "normal" - and it meant that i could live my life in a relatively conventional way.
     
    Don't get me wrong - women are beautiful. I like to look, stare, devour their beauty with my eyes. But in fairness, you show me a ripped guy or an incredibly beautiful woman, and you better believe im looking at the guy.
     
    So i've had relationships with women - and i should have known then. Sex should be the most natural part of a relationship - instead I had to work for it.
     
    So last night, I made my confession to myself. And then again to Paya. And now i'm making it to you...
     
    .... Guys... I think I'm Gay
     
    West
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