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Westie

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  1. Westie
    So, I would imagine that many members here wont remember who I am.  i've not been active for a while because... well, life gets in the way sometimes doesn't it?
     
    8 Years ago last week, I started a relationship right here on GA.  I met Paya right here, and our friendship blossomed into something more.  I was in the UK, he was in the Czech Republic. We had a long distance relationship for 2 years, before finally moving to London together 6 years ago.
     
    This is just a quick stop by to where it all began, to announce that yesterday - We got Married.  Yes, another GA wedding.
     
    We were lucky enough that our friends from GA, Bleu and Jian, were at our ceremony as guests - I told them they were our GA ambassadors for the day.
     
    Now... not to rush away, but a honeymoon awaits.
     
    All the best.
     
    West
  2. Westie

    New Beginnings

    By Westie,

    With apologies to Bleu, from whom I stole the title of this blog shamelessly from one of his comments....
     
    So it has been three weeks in the new job. There are good things, there are bad things. Let's start with the bad things, because it is by far the smaller list. The main thing is, that however much more money and status this job has, it is considerably less challenging than my last one. While some people might relish the idea of a better paid job that is considerably easier, for me it goes against my nature.
     
    The second issue is that the people are not very sociable. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but there will be considerably less socialising than I have been used to and I will genuinely miss it.
     
    On to the good things though. Well, the first is that I can make real, substantive decisions without having to refer upwards. In short, I have much more control and responsibility - and while that in itself carries its own burden, I would rather fail off my own back than fail because someone else had tied my hands. Not that I'm going to fail at all mind you
     
    Second, is location. I work at Oxford Circus, which means I can either go direct to the office, or as I have done this week - walk from any number of picturesque locations. This has taken me through St James' Park, Regents Park, Portland Place (familiar to fans of Mark Arbour's Bridgemont series) and Westminster.
     
    Third is facilities. These guys really know how to look after their staff, and we are pampered and spoiled in ways familiar only to employees of google and apple.
     
    All in all, things are going very well, and for the moment at least, I am pretty happy.
     
    Anyway, that was just a very quick update. I hope to post a more substantial blog very soon. In the meantime, I'm sending hugs and happy thoughts to everyone at GA
     
    West
  3. Westie

    Endings

    By Westie,

    In a purely technical sense, as of now, I am unemployed. I left my employer this morning having handed in my ID card, blackberry, laptop etc and very much feeling the effects of my leaving party last night.
     
    Obviously this is good news, not least because i will now have time to actually fulfil my obligations as a beta reader.
     
    I now have a week of unemployment before starting my new role - I'm very excited
  4. Westie
    Phew. I'm exhausted. Right now, I am typing from our bed at Paya's mother's house, recovering from 4 hours of travel up through slovakia and into the Czech Republic, but this is but the latest in a long line of journeys over the last week or so.
     
    We arrived just less than a fortnight ago from London having decided that the best use of our financial resources was to visit for two weeks instead of the usual one. The journey started our badly. Our plane was full of chattering girls from what appeared to be a Jewish religious college. Don't get me wrong - I don't care that they were Jewish - my only concern was with the very loud prayers they chanted during take-off and landing.
     
    Prayer and turbulence aside, we were an hour or so late into Prague which cut down our time at my favourite restaurant. If you are ever in Prague I would strongly recommend the Cafe Imperial... it seems to be stuck in time in an age of 1920's elegance, when the intelligentsia would frequent the restaurants of Prague, Vienna, Budapest and Belgrade.
     
    After Prague, we travelled to Paya's home-town and got our usual effusive welcome. My mother in law is AWESOME, and within moments she had thrust into my hand a shot of Myslivescka - a herbal brandy, One thing I have come to learn and very much embrace is that there is no discomfort or ill that cannot be cured or at least made better with a shot of Myslivecka. You might recall from the film "Schindler's List" that Myslivecka was Oscar Schindler's favourite drink.
     
    Our first trip out was to visit Paya's family ancestral home, a league or so deeper into the countryside and almost all of it uphill, I spent most of the journey clinging with one hand to the car door handle and the other hand clinging to my stomach as we raced around serpentine roads at a speed not unfamiliar to a roller-coaster aficionado but unfortunately extremely unfamiliar to my British reserve and temperament.
     
    If I were to describe the house there, I think the word I would use is "rustic". There is something rather special about eating "Klobasa" (sausages) cooked in a closed metal furnace, while sharing a shot or fourteen of "slivovice" (home made distillate of plums often described as a plum brandy - though this description implies a level of refinement that you would never get from real slivovice - this stuff will blow your socks off).
     
    One thing about the Czech's is that they have a devout respect for the dead. We visited the grave sites of a number of Paya's family members, and I was very much touched by how well tended the graves were - even of people long since gone. It was very clear that tending these monuments was a sacred duty to each and every person in the village.
     
    Our next trip (leaving out some details in between) was to Vienna. I had decided that since we were spending our holiday visiting relatives, I wanted at least one day of the trip to be all about what I wanted to do. With this in mind, our trip to Vienna concentrated on the food. Vienna is rightly famous for it's Wiener Schnitzel - basically a veal escalope served with a slice of lemon and rosemary potato. And the very best in my opinion is served at the Café Restaurant Residenz Schönbrunn, located (as the name might suggest) at the Schönbrunn Palace.
     
    If my first priority in Vienna is Wiener Schnitzel and Schönbrunn, my second priority is Sacher Torte. The Sacher hotel is world famous for the eponymous chocolate cake invented by their original chef. Don't be put off my the price - in anyone's book, €36 for a chocolate cake of 19cm is a lot of money, but I absolutely promise you that it is worth it.
     
    Our final stop in Vienna was the orangery restaurant at our hotel. The reason for this is that I absolutely adore beef carpaccio and this restaurant happens to make one of the best - though I appreciate that raw meat is not everyone's idea of a great meal.
     
    From Vienna we travelled across part of Hungary to a border town with Slovakia, where we would meet Paya's grandparents, who are ethnic Hungarian. The thing you need to know about Hungarian women is that their hospitality is legendary. There are only two possible answers to the offer of food at a Hungarian table. The first is "Yes Please", the second sounds remarkably like "no thanks" but to a Hungarian woman generally means "Yes please".
     
    No trip to Hungary would be complete without an investment in a few bottles of Tokaj - a legendary and sweet wine that in the most quality forms can age and keep past 200 years. In our case, we bought the best we could afford (which was not 200 year old, not that the local hypermarket stocked 200 year old Tokaj) and will save it for special occasions.
     
    We are now back in Paya's home town where we will rest for two days before heading back to London. Thoroughly exhausted, the one thing I love about travelling in Europe is that you learn and experience something new every time.
     
    That's why, even in the haze of my exhaustion, there is a creeping sense that I am really looking forward to European Odyssey 2015 too....
     
    West
  5. Westie

    Transition

    By Westie,

    By no means do I have a particularly complex job... but it turns out I do have a broad base of responsibilities. Until you start writing your "transition" documents, you don't realise just how "big" your job is.
     
    I am writing four separate transition briefings. The first two are client specific, for my two major clients and are currently running at around 10,000 for client (1) and 8,000 for client (2). I have a "process and products" briefing to write detailing the processes I manage, the internal controls I am responsible for and the products I own and have input into. This is running at around 5000 words at the moment, but will be the longest of them all once its done. Finally, I will write the "Executive Briefing" for the management team. I refer to this one as the "Janet and John" bit - for those of you who aren't familiar with the reference, see here.
     
    I am currently trying to negotiate my "exit" from the business, which at my level (in so far as I have a "level") is considerably more complex than it would first appear. It's a political balancing act. Firstly, there is the "notice" period - mine is 3 months, but of course my preference is to leave sooner, while my employer wants me to leave sooner also but must maintain the business. My clients are going to be spooked - really spooked - by my departure, and very nervous about my replacement (in whom they have little confidence). There is the added complication that I will be leaving to join one of my current client's competitors, and so if they wait too long to remove me from the account, it could be damaging to the relationship between my employer and the clients.
     
    With all this going on, I am also about to take a holiday. From Wednesday of this week, Paya and I will be travelling through Central Europe for 15 days, effectively removing me from day to day business for 3 weeks. While my holiday is exciting, it is adding a layer of complexity that I wish wasn't there.
     
    Looking to the future, I am very excited about my new role. I will be working specifically within a "big data" sphere - which is something I have worked on the periphery of for a long time, but will now be directly in on the action. I will also have more "control" over resource allocation and product direction, and will no longer be "client facing" (at least not in a B2B sense).
     
    I am also looking forward to the money. It's going to allow us to move to a nicer property in a nicer part of London. To be fair, we already live in a nice place in a great location - we are in Zone 2, which is not "central" but "inner" london, and we can get to places like Soho, Piccadilly and Hyde Park inside of 20 minutes from our door. The problem is that we pay a lot of money for what amounts to little more than a shoe box, so we are hoping to move to a larger place in a similar or even more central area. We have time with this - our lease runs for another year, so there's no rush
     
    Anyway... apologies for the rambling update post. It doesn't matter if nobody really reads it, its just sometimes I have to write it down to process everything that's going on in my head.
     
    See you guys after our holidays!
     
    West
  6. Westie
    Well, the good news first I suppose. I resigned this week from my job - and nothing has ever felt so good!! I am most definitely leaving my employer in a difficult position, but there is an extent to which they just need to "get over it" and there is an even greater extent to which I really do not care. I am of course fulfilling my contractual and legal obligations to the letter.
     
    It's not as if they didn't get warning... they have seen the signs of my unhappiness for months. Through a couple of meetings with management and HR, I have made known my frustrations and issues. Nobody listened.
     
    I am a great believer that one should take control of a situation where those currently in control are screwing things up royally. In this situation, the only way to regain control was to resign. So a few months ago I started to look for new opportunities, and after some (at times painful) interview processes, I finally received a great offer.
     
    Not only much better money, but a better position with a specific specialism that will not only allow me to earn more now, but also increase my potential for the future.
     
    It was also my mums birthday this weekend - so we postponed my job celebration from earlier in the week and had one big joint Birthday/New job celebration last night - it was awesome.
     
    It was at a little French brasserie Paya and I know quite well. We started with Champagne Cocktails (a Kir Royale in this case), and moved on to foie gras for me, Avocado salad for Paya and Crab in Garlic for mum. We followed up with a rare T-Bone steak for me and Paya and a lamb shoulder for mum. All washed down with a bottle of Chablis (my favourite style of French wine), a nice desert, and after dinner liqueurs.
     
    The next few months will be hard work. I have a complex job and I would imagine that the handover process will be arduous and painful. But in the midst of that I have a holiday in Central Europe to look forward to, and then the start of my new adventure.
     
    Even as the dread of the "transition" approaches, I cannot hide my excitement :-)
     
    West
  7. Westie
    I always love this time of the year. Coming into summer, it brings some very happy memories (as opposed to January-April, which generally has many sad memories for me).
     
    The Ninth of May was our anniversary. FOUR YEARS we have been together, and for those of you who weren't at GA back then to remember, I'm gonna do a little recap.
     
    We met right here on this very site. If you go back and read my old blog entries you will see that I was trying to act straight in real life, scared of my family and what they might think. Paya had been a member of GA much longer than me, and we met in chat. HE had read something I had written in a blog that just spoke to him.
     
    I think its fair to say that he chased me while I was frozen like a terrified cat. We sort of danced over the course of a few weeks, trying not to fall for each other too fast and failing completely. We were entirely obvious - we both wrote blog entries and it was clear to everyone that we were talking about each other.
     
    Over the past four years, we have overcome long distance - he was in the Czech Republic, and I was in the UK. Fast forward to two years ago this week, and Paya was getting off a plane, and I was meeting him at Liverpool street with flowers and keys to our new home.
     
    I never imagined this is how my life would play out, but now my mum treats Paya like a second son, my Dad and his soon-to-be-wife adore him and my deeply religious 85-year-old grandmother prefers Paya to me by a considerable measure
     
    At the End of June is the anniversary of when we first met "in person", although by that point it really was too late At the End of August is the first time I went to the Czech Republic. You can see why these next few months are filled with happy memories for me :-D
     
    I'm writing this for two reasons. The first is that I have never felt as happy as I do right now, and so when many of us spend so much time sharing the dark side of life in our blogs, it's nice once in a while to be positive.
     
    The second reason I'm writing this is because a relationship - especially long distance and started in the "online" world - is hard. It takes effort, and courage. You will have so many challenges, and at times it will seem like the whole world wants you to be miserable. But if there's anyone else out there finding - well, LOVE - on this site, I'm not saying that to put them off. I'm saying that because despite all those things... IT'S TOTALLY WORTH IT.
     
    Have a great day
     
    West
  8. Westie

    Culinary Experiments

    By Westie,

    Tonight is experimentation night. As many of you know, I have a few health complaints that are vastly improved by changes in diet. One of those changes involves cutting out certain foods altogether, and two of those foods are beef and tomatoes. This means that one of my favourite dishes - Lasagne - is well out of bounds.
     
    Anyway, tonight, I have set myself a challenge - is it possible to make a Lasagne, without minced/ground beef and more challengingly, without tomatoes? Stick with me here, I know those of you with Italian heritage are going to be going nuts right about now.... but it turns out you CAN.
     
    Firstly, you need a tomato sauce substitute. Actually, there are a number of good ones out there that call themselves "No-Mato Sauce" and they are actually very good. Basically, you get Six carrots, one beet, an onion, a leek, celery and a bay leaf, and boil them for twenty minutes with two cups of water (and a vegetable stock cube for additional flavour). After 20 minutes, you bend the ingredients roughly and Hey! Presto! - you get something that really does look like tomato sauce. Unfortunately, it doesn't taste like it, so I add basil, oregano, lots of garlic and a little paprika. It now tastes nice (especially with a little pepper) but is missing the kick of a tomato. My recommendation to fix this is to add some balsamic vinegar. It gives you the sharp background you are looking for in a tomato sauce.
     
    As for the substitute for beef, you could go the vegetarian route and make courgette lasagne, but I happen to believe that nothing good can come from a meatless meal, and so I plump for Minced turkey. It's lower in fat and full of flavour.
     
    Anyway, as experiments go - it actually turned out pretty awesome. It was of course a different flavour, but there was a tomato-like note to it, and the meat was superb.
     
    I thoroughly recommend it
     
    West
  9. Westie
    HI There. I've had quite a busy few weeks, and since you haven't been around for it (Where have you BEEN?), I thought I'd update you here.
     
    Last time we spoke, i think I was looking at completing a major client software upgrade, and so I will start of from there. The awesome thing about this particular client is that their offices are back in my home region, which means I get to see my family. The terrible thing about this client is.... well, everything else.
     
    Everything that could have gone wrong with this software upgrade, DID and quite frankly, 90% of the issues were on the client's side. But after a very stressful 2 days working 18 hours each day, I managed to calm things to the point that I could spend the weekend with my family. Paya arrived up on the train on the Friday, and we spent the Saturday getting drunk with my Dad and his fiancée, and then spent Sunday with Mum and my Grandma, before visiting my Brother and his kids.
     
    I love my nephew and nieces to bits, but I sure am glad that I live 200 miles away. I can handle an hour or two, but then the noise starts to get to me. Not so much from the kids, but from the adults. I can;t stand the "baby talk" some adults do with children. Especially when it starts getting loud, high pitched and squealy.
     
    We got the train down to London that evening, because the next day I was flying out to Belgrade. Regular readers will know that I go to Belgrade quite often, and I dislike the trip with a passion. That said, the food is AWESOME and I get to drink on the company dime, so it's not too bad. This time, was even better, because the Serbian National Carrier - JAT Airways - has been rebranded as AirSerbia and has a partnership with Ethiad. JAT was the last bastion of communism. The stewardesses looked like matrons in a 1950's hospital and they cared about your comfort and convenience about the same as the commandant of a military prison cares about the comfort and convenience of his inmates.
     
    Now though, airSerbia has lovely, attractive stewardesses and some young stewards that, while not hunky, would only take a couple of beers to look great, and in the meantime, it's better than a 60 year old matron with a moustache.
     
    Serbia was bitterly cold, with freezing rain and a particularly bad landing at Belgrade airport, so I was very glad later in the week when I got back. I managed to have a nice relaxing weekend with Paya, which was good because the event of the YEAR for my industry was to take place the following week (which brings us up to the week just gone)
     
    To anyone who has never been to a software trade fair, it can be a little bit daunting. The industry parlance though is "junket", because there isn't much work involved and lots of freebies. Firstly, vendors are attaching you with free gifts on their stands (pens, notebooks, letter openers, chocolates etc). If they think they have the prospect of a "sale" the gifts get bigger. If you actually ahve the ability to cut them a cheque right there, they will bribe incentive-ise this with iPad's, iPhones, Laptops, trips to Vegas etc etc.
     
    In the evenings there are parties, but being a male dominated industry, the biggest party of the year this time flew in 400 models from Israel and Eastern Europe. I say "models", but it's the job of these vendors to keep people happy, and so, I'm sure much more went on. Luckily, I escaped that party this year.
     
    Which brings us to this weekend. Paya and I enjoyed a trip to the Tower of London yesterday. We also splurged and booked a 5* hotel in Paris for my Birthday at the start of March. And today is a cooking day, and I'm experimenting by making Poached Partridge and Pears. I'm very much looking forward to two relaxing week's of relative calm before I'm next shoved, kicking and screaming, to Belgrade for yet another company junket.
     
    West
  10. Westie
    This year has been an awesome year so far, and we have some really great plans for the next 6-9 months that are really going to change our lives for the better. I am so STOKED for 2014.
     
    For a start, I feel like I'm finally getting a grip on my health issues. The big thing here is that I'm using conventional drugs to control pain and stuff, but then I'm using some complementary therapies to help me reduce the reliance on those drugs and improve the condition for the better.
     
    For example, did you know that the spice Turmeric has been shown in some studies to be around 3-4 times more effective than ibuprofen as an anti inflammatory? I didn't believe it at first - because this one study wasn't really comprehensive enough to be accepted as medical fact - but Turmeric is also an anti-inflammatory in both Traditional Chinese Medicine and also Ayurvedic Medicine. So I thought.... why not give it a go? It's early days but it really does seem to be working very well. So well in fact that I think I will be able to use it as a partial replacement for some of my current prescription drugs. This has the advantage of cutting out some rather nasty side effects.
     
    I also think I'm getting the balance right with diet and making sure I'm getting enough vitamins etc. The most important thing for me is actually absorption - I not only need to make sure my diet is balanced, but also that I can reap the benefits. So it's important to make sure I have a responsible amount of fat in my diet. Many vitamins and minerals and other compounds are fat soluable, and so a 'no' fat diet actually hinders your ability to absorb these. A responsible amount of fat (even just milk fats) are hugely beneficial in other ways.
     
    On a different front, we have set ourselves a 'financial' challenge that culminates in our wedding in 2015 (hopefully), which for a goals and achievement oriented person like me is actually quite exciting as a journey, as well as a destination.
     
    Speaking of Journeys... we have also booked a "summer tour" in June/July that will see us back in Paya's hometown, then in Austria, then through Hungary (seeing most of it only out of the train window), into Slovakia, and then back to London via the Czech Republic again. I'm really excited about this trip - not least Austria, because I'm beginning to really like Vienna.
     
    On the work front, I have a busy 2-3 months ahead with yet more time in the North of England, more time in Belgrade (Serbia), but hopefully after things settle down I will have a calmer few months here in London.
     
    Back on the personal horizon, I have been looking at a little pet project for me to "tinker" with as a way to relax and to pass the time at airports and travelling. As many of you know, I have an avid interest in certain aspects of British history. At the same time, my job and work background is in IT. I have been road testing some "wiki" software, and so my pet project (if I get it off the ground) is going to be half technology (setting up the Wiki on a server, a bit of web design and basically playing around), and half putting in "content" on those areas that I have some specialist knowledge. These are areas that are under-researched on Wikipedia for example.
     
    I will probably never publish it for the outside world, but I will have some fun doing it, even if it does seem to be a little geeky.
     
    Which brings everyone up to speed on 'me'. Which, as it was the purpose of this blog, also makes it the end of this blog.
     
    Happy new year everyone
     
    West.
  11. Westie

    An incredibly sad weekend

    By Westie,

    This weekend was particularly sad for me, but to understand just how sad and why, I have to go back a little.
     
    First of all, I want to tell you about my dog. She came to us 13 years ago as the runt of the litter, and right from the start she seemed to have a charisma about her. She was also a born nurse. Just after she arrived as a puppy, I got sick and had to go back to my mum to recover, and the whole time I was there she never left my side. She cuddled right into me when my fever was causing me to hallucinate.
     
    Fast forward 10 years and I am moving to London. In the interim, my mum has gotten divorced and escaped an abusive (mentally) marriage. She came to live with me, but when I got an offer to move to London I had to leave my mother on her own. But that was fine, because I know our dog would look after her.
     
    On Thursday morning, at 1am, I got call from my mum in an incomprehensible babble. Through her tears and cries, I heard the word "dead" and initially my thoughts turned to my Grandma. AS it was, my dog had a massive heart attack and died. My mum was distraught. For a long time, our darling dog had been her companion and her friend. When lonely nights closed in, they were a team.
     
    And of course, I felt less guilty for leaving.
     
    I got the first train I could up from London (London is approximately 2.5 hours from my hometown). My mum was obviously devastated and Paya and I have spent a lot of time trying to pull her through.
     
    Combined with the stress of work at the moment, extra trips home mean that I will not have much spare time. At the start of last week I was in Vienna. I was in Belgrade at the end of October, and possibly will be there next week. I have spent over 30 hours in the last 3 weeks on planes, trains or other transport.
     
    All this does nothing to ease my guilt that my mum is now alone.
     
    West
  12. Westie
    So, I make no secret of the fact that Mark Arbour's writing is what brought me here to GA. I started by reading the (as yet unfinished) "On the Mark" which as a matter of fact I still rate as one of Mark's better works. But then I moved on to Mark's "Nessun Dorma"... the series "Chronicles of an Academic Predator". It is by far the highest quality of writing that I have read on this site. When you consider how many other awesome authors we have here - you realise that being the creme de la creme is no average achievement.
     
    Mark is the sites most prolific author, with over 4.5 million words to his name. And its obviously not just me who is a fan, because of the 10 most reviewed stories at GA, 3 belong either to CAP, or to the Bridgemont Saga - Mark's other work.
     
    Now, I'm not just writing this to blow smoke up his ass (you never know, he might be into it...). I'm noting this now because his most recent entry into the CAP series has blown me away. It is particularly poignant because it coincides with an anniversary that is marked around the world, but has particular significance in the US. I am of course talking about the terrorist atrocity of September 11th 2001.
     
    The latest book - 9.11 - hit me like a sledgehammer. Not only was the writing particularly excellent, but the way it was written brought the event home to me in a way that nothing else has. As a Brit living in a northern backwater in 2001, the events of 9.11 were something I watched and experienced from a distance. While I had a basic human sympathy for those who were killed or injured, if I am entirely honest I have never felt an emotional connection to the event in the way I did for the 7/7 London Bombings.
     
    When I first read the events unfolding in CAP, the first inkling of "something different" was on reading that certain characters would be at the World Trade Centre.... my heart literally skipped a beat. 5 years ago, my dad had a heart attack and I was called at my office to tell me to come to the hospital. It was, I swear - a very similar feeling.
     
    I'm not going to give away plot details here, but the next chapters had me in tears. I do not show emotion easily - Paya is one of the few who has seen me at my weakest. But the quality of the writing was such that i had grown to care for some characters more than I would have ever expected.
     
    I suppose this should be in a review, but reviews tend to be read largely by those who have an interest in the story already. My purpose for writing here is to encourage everyone else - read the stories. Start at the beginning. Learn to love the characters.
     
    There is no more fitting tribute on this site than the culmination of the story (so far) in September 2001.
     
    Honestly, you wont regret it....
     
    Anyway - I'm ending my sycophantic ramble here because I don't want anyone's ego to explode However, its rare that we read something and think that it's a privilege to have been part of it. And that, I think, is something that should be celebrated.
     
    West
  13. Westie

    Shapshot July

    By Westie,

    So, just an update for those who want to know. For those that don't, I have the added pleasure that you rolled your eyes when you saw this
     
    So Health..... Is fairly good. Comparatively. I seem better than I was, though I still have bad days. These tend to worry Paya and make me mad at myself - usually because they are triggered by my own lack of control. Since the start of May I managed to lose 6kg which is awesome. I have another 25 to go, but every step is progress.
     
    In relation to work things are going very well. I have re-oriented my client base and am now responsible for a single "mega account". It's going to be demanding but very rewarding. Initially it will be a £2.5m account but that will hopefully grow.
     
    Paya and I are heading back to the Czech republic next week. It gives me time to relax and turn off my blackberry for once. I'm reaching a quiet period at work (it's a seasonal thing) so this is a really great time to take my annual leave allowance. I'm quite lucky in that I have 6 weeks of paid leave each year, which I understand would be rare in the US?? I also get 8 public holidays and for a bizarre reason 3 "religious days".
     
    When we get back, I have work trips to France, Ireland and the North of England (good lord!!), followed by another trip to the Serbian Republic at some point. Funny thing about work trips is that although you get to go to these places, you don't actually get to SEE much of them. That's something I am desperately trying to rectify.
     
    Otherwise things are pretty work-a-day.... Paya and I are on a weekend away with my father in August for his birthday. 2 years ago that's something i NEVER thought would be possible. That's something to look forward to.
     
    West
  14. Westie

    Belgrade Bound

    By Westie,

    So today I am packing for a week in Belgrade - a trip that quite frankly I do not wish to go on. Firstly there is the heat, which is 34 centigrade at the moment - about 10 degrees more than I am comfortably with. But secondly, the trip is going to be downright unpleasant. Don't get me wrong - I like my colleagues - its just that they are not my first choice to spend any time with...
     
    Anyhow..... see you in a week's time
     
    West
  15. Westie
    So in my last blog, I mentioned that I was having some health issues.
     
    One of the ways this manifests itself is with pain in the knees, hip, back and neck. As you can imagine, this makes it very painful to complete a range of day to day activities. Another thing this does is prevent me from exercising. Being overweight only makes things worse.
     
    Anyway, as "conventional" medicines have failed to help, I have been looking at a number of other treatments - for example last year I spent £500 on acupuncture, which actually really helped (to the point that if I didn't have it, I don't think I would be able to walk much now). It also introduced me to a massage oil that even now when I'm in pain, offers an almost immediate relief.
     
    One of the things I have learned in my research is the importance of diet. One of the things I have done is to radically change the things that I eat. We have found that not only is this healthier, but in fact it is also cheaper. Sure, I have had to cut out tomatoes, potatoes, steak (all beef), pork and virtually all sugar caffeine and white flour products - but its been really great fun crating recipes for creative and varied meals under the new plan.
     
    Which brings me to the subject of this blog; the Three Day Apple Cleanse. Because I have had major stomach problems for years - which I stupidly did not address - the function of my whole digestive system is impaired. One of the ways to "kick start" a fix of this is a gentle nutritional clean-out and start over. I was recommended to try the "3 day apple cleanse" of which you can find a number of examples just through google - but basically, for 3 days you eat nothing but apples and lots of water to flush out your system. On the third day you break the regime with a large pro-biotic yogourt to replace lost enzymes.
     
    As I might have mentioned before, I often work from home on Fridays, and so yesterday I started this cleanse with a recommended warm water spiked with the juice of a whole lemon - then nothing but apples and water. Let me tell you - it was damn difficult!!! I was told that I would start to feel like I had a mild 'flu, and to be honest thats exactly how it felt. I was hungry, but th thought of more apples repulsed me. Through the night I was dizzy (and the room was spinning as if I were drunk) - but I mad it through to this morning and felt much much better.
     
    I have the rest of the day to go, plus tomorrow until around 7pm (Uk time). This is much harder than I imagined (Paya and I both tried it in April but only lasted a day - this time I'm doing it alone), but surprisingly this morning I can already feel some benefit. It also helps that on this occasion I have radically changed my diet beforehand. Yesterday there were no cravings for sugar or caffeine because they had already been cut out.
     
    Anyhow, the hope is that this little cleanse will "kick start" my long term recovery. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a quick fix and don't expect it to be. I know there are major targets to go:

    Lose 20-30kg in Weight (long term)
    Slowly increase my movement and exercise
    Long term diet change
    Move off my "prescription" pills onto natural alternatives where possible

    The last bullet point is a major one for me. The "side effects" of the prescriptions are not good, and I want to minimise these as much as possible.
     
    Thanks again to anyone who read the ramble all the way through!
     
    West
  16. Westie

    Life Update

    By Westie,

    So my blog is woefully neglected at the moment, which seems an opportune time to give an update on what's going on with me. Especially since this weekend has been particularly lazy - though I did find the time to rearrange my kitchen.
     
    Firstly, on the work front, things are somewhat stressful. I work in quite a dynamic industry - IT Project/Programme Management - and in particular I work in a small subset of the industry that is very VERY fast paced and demanding. Travel is now more and more frequent - In the next 2 months I will be traveling to 3 different countries (plus one for personal reasons) plus I suspect a little more domestic travel as well. I'm enjoying it, but at the same time people and processes frustrate me in the extreme.
     
    On the home front, there is a mix of good and bad. The good - obviously - is that I thank my lucky stars every day to have found Paya here at GA, and that we managed to move together (in his case over 1000 miles to be with me). The bad is that I have some health issues that although not major, are very long term and are take some adjusting to. I have had, for example, to make a radical change to my diet in order to lessen some of the symptoms. I wont go into too much detail, but some of the treatments are very unpleasant too - and since the major benefits of this regime wont be felt for 6 months or so, it makes it hard to commit to.
     
    We have both made a conscious effort to make more of living in London. We have some of the best museums, art galleries and attractions in the world, and many of them are free to visit. Others, you can get really good deals by purchasing an annual membership. A couples membership for Historic Royal Palaces allows unlimited entry to the Tower of London, Hampton Court Palace, Kensington Palace, Kew Palace and the Banqueting House. It costs only £61 and if we only visit each one ONCE, it saves us over £100.
     
    Merging both work and home then, working in the City of London has a certain "lifestyle" attachment. A lot of "business" is done in bars and restaurants. In 2 weeks time I shall be in Belgrade, where there will in all probability b a whole week of hard drinking and excessive eating - none of which is in line with the doctor's recommendations. I have a plan to cope - which is to order none alcoholic drinks on the sly and order as healthy options from the menu as possible - however a lot of my willpower comes from Paya. Without him there, I really think I could slip up and do some damage. I need to be very careful.
     
    In terms of my online life - I still haven't managed to engage fully back into the community here. That's not through unwillingness - it's through a combination of boredom and lack of time. The soapbox had many ills (and probably more negatives than positives in many ways) but one thing it did was to keep me engaged and interested here. I need to find something to hold my interest I guess - anyone got an idea?
     
    Otherwise, I'm pretty content. Over the past weeks I have immersed myself in some history books which has been a lot of fun. For those that do not know, I have a passion for history in general but British History in particular, and also have a strong interest in heraldry. That has brought me to researching again my family tree, which I have mentioned before is documented as far back as 900 AD (we were once a prominent family - LONG ago - which makes such documentation easier). I think I may have found a link through a church in Normandy that can take that record back slightly further - but I will need time to verify it.
     
    Anyway, if you've got to the end of my ramblings without falling asleep - you get a gold star.
     
    Thanks for Reading
     
    West
  17. Westie
    So, yesterday I posted a rather emotional blog entry on the Death of Margaret Thatcher. She was and is a hero (heroine?) of mine, and to say that I was devastated yesterday was an understatement. Someone commented on that blog entry that they do not feel anywhere near the connection to any politician as I seem to feel with MT - but yesterday I did experience a genuine and heartfelt outpouring of Grief.
     
    I remember very clearly the 31st August 1997, waking up to the news that Diana, Princess of Wales had died. I remember being bewildered by the outpouring of such unfiltered emotion for someone who was so distant. Yesterday - nearing 15 years later - was the first time I cam close to understanding that.
     
    Now, I know this woman was not perfect. She had some questionable friendships - in a comment I deleted yesterday (more for its tone than its content) her friendship with the dictator Augusto Pinochet was mentioned as an example. It has been pointed out to me that she was no supporter of Gay rights. I dispute this slightly - she voted in favour of decriminalization of sodomy, but at the same time she was a product of her generation. I won't condemn her for that.
     
    She became Prime Minister when the UK was in terminal decline. She is vilified because of the huge surge in unemployment due to her policies, and for interest rates being obscenely high. What people forget is that after WW2, Britain kept unemployment artificially low with massive industrial subsidies that by 1979 were crippling the nation. The problem was not unemployment in 1983. it was over-employment in 1979. Bloated industries hell bent on protecting jobs and salaries at any cost meant that the nation had become uncompetitive. The medicine was harsh and radical, but it saved the economy from certain ruin. The interest rate hitting 17% in 1981 was frightening, but not as frightening as the 25% inflation endemic in the 1970's (and hitting that peak again in 1981). The high interest rate stabilised that problem.
     
    People remember that she more than doubled VAT (a sales tax), but they forget that she did so to offset a major reduction in income tax. The top tax rate at the time was 86%. She basically said that if you could afford luxuries, you would be taxed more heavily, but that those living hand to mouth would have a low income tax, and food and essentials would be VAT-free.
     
    She broke the unions that were holding Britain to ransom at the time. Coal Miners were demanding massive inflation busting pay rises at a time when demand for coal was falling dramatically and cost of extraction increasing exponentially. It must have been very hard to make decisions that put coal miners and their families out of work, but her philosophy of essential fairness - that one man's taxes should not support another man's employment - was sound.
     
    I do not believe she got everything right by any means. But she was a "conviction politician". She did what she thought was right, regardless of the political consequences. To often these days politicians leave the hard choices because they think they will lose votes. I'm reminded of Edmund Burke, who said:
     
    US Secretary of State James Baker (as he was) described the "thatcher Doctrine" as he called it:
     
    Finally, I know that MT was a divisive figure. I know that she raises passions in both supporters and detractors. There will be time enough to analyse her legacy at another time. But at the time of someone's passing, i think it is important to pay respect to their work ethic, and to the fact that they served their nation to the best of their ability. There are people who had "death parties" in the UK last night. That is in poor taste. At the time of my own death (hopefully many years from now) I can think of no greater accolade than for someone to say "he always did what he thought was right".
     
    I think it sad therefore that here at GA, a tribute thread had to be deleted because people could not stay a-political and say "Here passed a woman who did what she thought was right".
     
    In that spirit, this blog will be locked for comments
     
    West
  18. Westie

    Devestation (RIP)

    By Westie,

    I know that the death of a public figure shouldn't really have too much of an effect on ones emotions, but for me this is devastating.
     
    For me this is more seminal than the death of Diana. It could only be worse if the Queen herself had passed.
     
    Beyond devastated. It's genuinely numbing for me
     
    RIP Margaret Thatcher. The "Iron" Lady. The last great conviction politician. She did what she believed was right (whether you agreed with her or not) and she didn't waver - even if it made her unpopular. Every leader since has been guided by short term-ism. "What will win me the next election". Lady Thatcher wasn't like that.
     
    If the Queen is the "Mother of the nation", then Margaret Thatcher was surely the the controlling aunt who gave you the sharp advice and kick up the backside when you needed it.
     
    RIP to a Great PM, Stateswoman, Mother, Grandmother and LEGEND.
     
    West
  19. Westie
    I went back to my hometown this weekend. The purpose was twofold, firstly, Paya and I were visiting my parents for Christmas before we jet off to the Czech Republic for the actual event. Secondly, we had a large family gathering, where Paya would meet with the majority of my very, very large family.
     
    The thing is, I always feel a little bit like "a tomato in a fruit basket" at family functions. Like the tomato, Technically, I belong there - but in reality it just doesn't feel right.
     
    I went away feeling very depressed - which shouldn't have been the case because family events should be uplifting.
     
    On the positive front, Paya and I got very drunk with my dad on scotch whisky... nothing helps you bond with your new father-in-law more than getting hammered together.
     
    Anyway, not a rambling blog this time.... I just needed to get this out there
     
    Night all
     
    Westie
  20. Westie
    So, as anyone who has read my last two blogs (and a few sporadic ones before that) will know, I now live in London.
     
    Now, as anyone who has moved from a rural idyll to the city lights will tell you, cities are a completely different beast in almost every aspect. Here are the things I love:
     
    (1) A coffee house is never more than 5 minutes away....
    (2) I can hold my boyfriend's hand and nobody cares
    (3) I can kiss my boyfriend in the street and nobody cares
    (4) In fairness re: (2) & (3), I could probably get away with going to work in a pink tutu and a tiara and nobody would care. This is not an experiment I'm planning on trying
    (5) I can sample food of almost every nationality, because every country has a community here
    (6) If you want to see beautiful architecture, go to almost any street in the capital, and look upwards
    (7) Turning a corner can lead to a wondrous surprise.... from a famous building just sitting there, to a special cake shop or delicatessen...
    (8) There is a tremendous amount to do here every week and weekend....
    (9) ... and a massive amount of it is for free
    (10) I'm anonymous, I like it that way, and so does everyone else
     
    There are things I hate too.... If you smile at someone on the tube, you are likely to be given the finger (actually, in my case, some girl whispered to her companion "do you think he's one of those retards")....
     
    But in the main, the city... a 24 hour beast, faster paced than a village, is a much better place to live....
     
    By the way - I hope nobody thinks these posts boastful.... I promise you, I will still talk about challenges I'm facing.... nothing is all rosy.... but sometimes life seems to deal the right hand. Its just that to get there, you have to go through a few bad deals....
  21. Westie

    Shifting Focus

    By Westie,

    For this to make sense, i guess I need to start this sojourn of a blog around 10 years ago. I was in college (6th form college, to you guys out there in the US) and i had moved out on my own into a really terrible "bedsit" flat. My studies were just coming to an end and it seemed to me that my world had fallen apart.
     
    I spent my entire childhood assuming that I would become an English teacher (actually, not true: I did briefly flirt with the thought of becoming a priest, and got a fair way down the line before I pulled back). But at this point in my life, I found that although my grades were good enough, i just didn't have the money to go to university. Supporting myself and somewhat estranged from my parents, the process for applying for grants and bursaries and loans was complex, and in truth with the trauma of leaving home I had left it slightly late.
     
    And so it was that I found my dream of going to university falling through my fingers.
     
    You have no idea what that was like for me. Let me be clear, back then, failing was not an option. If life has a target, I expected to hit the bullseye every time. So after a lot of soul searching, I got a full time job. And I knew I was going to succeed: i was going to work harder than everyone else and for longer hours. I was going to put every ounce of my life into that job. And I did.
     
    When you read my CV/resume/LinkedIn profile what will strike you first is that I achieved some kind of promotion in each of the subsequent 8 years. I put everything into that company and the job, going from a guy with 4 A-Levels, to a senior manager within a discipline (IT) that I had never even considered.
     
    As some of you will know, I made a career changing break last year to take on a role in London, and with it Paya moved over here with me. The job I have now has significantly less responsibility, but more money. I work 6 hours a day at the most, and get to travel a lot and entertain clients. its a pretty perfect scenario, because it has given me a luxury: TIME
     
    And it has made me realise just how much I neglected when my career - being successful - was my only goal. Apart from online, I don't actually have any friends. I had hundreds of "colleagues" at my old job, but not a single one of them I could class as a friend now. I let my health suffer. Certainly, there are times before I met Paya that I drank too much. I slept too little. I ate junk food (usually pizza on the sofa in my office at 2am). I literally NEVER visited a gym. I got by on 3 hours sleep and a huge amount of caffeine (both in coffee and tablet form).
     
    Since I moved to london, I feel like I've got something back. I'm more relaxed. I'm happier (though that certainly has a lot to do with having Paya here with me). I'm finally starting losing weight. I haven't had a single take-out in six months. I drink less (both coffee and alcohol).
     
    This year will be the third I spend with Paya. It really strikes me as crazy that my life has changed quite so much. I see much more clearly now that my perspective has shifted away from my career, and more towards OUR home life - there's nothing so magical as being in love.
     
    West
  22. Westie
    So, something happened that has made me re-evaluate a few things.
     
    When I first came to GA, It was because of Mark Arbour's stories. As I became a member I became active in chat, and then the forums. Between the Soapbox and MA's forum, I was if not prolific, then certainly visible. I even tried writing my own story - until I realised how painful reliving old memories can be. The story is still there, unfinished - its appallingly bad (honest, take a look, you wont get past the first few para's).
     
    I even met the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with on here. This year, Paya moved 1200 miles to be with me here in London (I moved a measly 200 miles). Thats a powerful commitment, and one that all started right here.
     
    But as time filled up my day, I withdrew from forums. I withdrew from chat. I stopped updating this blog so often. I didn't write any more fiction. After the move to GA Stories, I didn't even write any reviews.
     
    So, why am I here now. Basically, because I participate in the Soapbox, and because I read Mark Arbour's stories still, and contribute in his forum.
     
    And then this Sunday, the soapbox closed. In the end, it was anti-climactic. It was sudden, it was clearly final, and we seem to be in a place where we all say goodbye to an old friend, rather than rallying against a perceived injustice.
     
    But what now? If I want to read and appreciate Mark's stories, I can do that from his group. I don't need GA for that. So, at this point, GA is no longer important in my life. Now - just to be clear - this isn't one of those "dramatic, prissy, drama "look at me" queen" posts announcing I'm leaving. We have seen those far to many times for them to gain any credibility - and to be honest there are people out there who can do the "pay me some attention" exit far better than I can.
     
    So.... what is the point of my blog entry?
     
    Well, I'm glad you asked (or rather, glad I asked myself). Because Myr made the point quite well in his announcement closing the soapbox. This site is a story site. Theres literally TONS to do here. Even without the soapbox, there is still a vibrant community here. And this site MEANS something to me. it helped me when I came out, I found the love of my life here, and I found comfort in who I am here (sooner than I did in the real world, at any rate).
     
    So, rather like a relationship, I conclude that actually, what is lacking here is hard work and effort on my part. I'm no lonbger engaged with the GA community. I don't go into chat. I don't read stories (excepting MA). I don't leave reviews (even for MA). I don't write stories. I don't keep up my blog. The key thing here is that "I don't".
     
    So, if we are not a little early for new years resolutions, this is how I am going to solve the dilemma:

    I am going to write .... something. I don't know what.
    I am going to complete a review. Starting with one for each of the CAP/Bridgemont stories that I have abused so much
    I am going to read.... something different/new. I am quite picky. I like high quality work, and I like stories/series that are obscenely long. We're talking the length of a large novel. recommendations welcome.
    I am going to update my blog more frequently (what do you mean "oh no"?).
    I am going to step into forums that are not soapbox or Mark Arbour related
    I am going to go into chat and get better acquainted with newer members
    I am going to the next GA European Meet
    I am going to rewrite and complete my existing story

     
    and anything else that comes to mind. So this is the opposite of the "I'm leaving GA because I got an Ouchie" tale. This is more of a... "comeback". And in true, Cher style (like any good homo), It's gonna be like I've never been away...
  23. Westie

    The darkness within

    By Westie,

    It was truly evil. And while I'm sure that something buried deep inside me feels something akin to guilt, I have no regrets for what I've done. Should I feel shame? Probably. If there was any shred of humanity left within me, I would probably feel something - anything - for the people I have hurt. But I don't. It's just coldness inside.
     
    I should start at the beginning, but I don't even know where that is anymore. How did I become this?
     
    Picture this for me. The london underground. The air is thick with sweat and pollution. The walls are deep with grime and soot from the "london air". Hotter and more uncomfortable than the strongest heatwave, and after a long tiresome day, the weary tread their way home in this oppressing smog of unpleasantness.
     
    So I'm stood at the platform, and 5 trains go by, each one too full to let more than two or three people on. But finally I'm at the front. I will get on the next one, and I will be on my way home.
     
    The train arrives... **thump** - something hit my back! "Move, Move, Move, get on the train you F#&!ing fat bastard" **thump thump thump** on my back. I get on the train and turn to see the ugliest woman, around 40, pushing me into the people, jarring us in like sardines. "Its people like you that stop normal sized people getting home" says the bitch.
     
    I start to seeth. My anger boils, but as my mother taught me, I control it. I feel the burn behind my eyes, my insecurities raging. And as we move station to station I start to plot my revenge.
     
    The train is getting hotter and hotter, and all the bodies are pressed together in a sticky, sweaty, funk-mass of people. The bitch complains about the smell at the top of her voice. I feel like screaming at her.... but I don't.
     
    I wait. i bide my time.
     
    Finally, excruciatingly, we get to my station. But I don't get off immediately. I wait a few moments, I turn to the woman and say... "you deserve this".
     
    My plan falls in place.... and as the doors are closing, i lightly step off the train. I turn, and see that she noticed. I see the disgust in her eyes. I see the utter revulsion in her face.... as she smells the ripe freshness of a fart in the stale tube air.
     
    I don't regret it. Not for a moment.
     
    West
     
    **Please note, true story, slightly embellished. Don't judge me. I did what I had to do. I know some innocent bystanders were caught in the crossfire. I don't regret it. Cold.
  24. Westie

    Now that I'm in London

    By Westie,

    So, as many of you know I now live in London, and Paya will be joining me in the next 2 months.
     
    So, now one incredibly stressful part of my life is over, I wanted to make a list of things to do:
     
    (1) Excel at my new job (which I start today)
    (2) Move Paya over here
    (3) Finish my story (did you know I have a story? the first chapter was put up 2 years ago, I didn't do much with it after that, but its still there)
    (4) Use my company provided gym membership regularly
    (5) Go to Paris
    (6) Learn to drive
    (7) Eat less chocolate
    (8) FINALLY tour the British museum IN FULL.
    (9) Visit all the London places mentioned in Mark Arbour's "Bridgemont" series
    (10) take paya to a gay bar
     
    Now, I want a list of 50 things to do..... so over to you guys.... Suggestions?
  25. Westie

    Well, we had a plan....

    By Westie,

    Well, as many of you know, we had this plan. It was wonderful. I was gonna save up a nice amount of money, and on the 31st August this year, move to the Czech Republic to be with Paya. Its been month's in preparation already - discussions, plans, ideas - but late last week, in the space of three days everything changed. And it changed with a single email...
     
    I was contacted by a recruiter who asked me if I would consider work in London. Apparently my areas of expertise have become more sought after in recent years, and my salary has fallen behind the curve. It turns out that in London, people in my position are looking at salaries 71% higher than mine.
     
    Now, I earn a very good wage now, so 71% is what I call a "game changer". And although London is a lot more expensive, I would be able to afford to rent a place, pay all the gas and electric, council tax, water rates, broadband, television etc, pay transport and food and still have a significant amount of money left over.
     
    London also has the advantage that it would be relatively easy for Paya to get a job here, as opposed to my hick town in the North, where it would be pretty hard to get anything other than waiting tables.
     
    London is more gay friendly, more cosmopolitan than anywhere in the Czech Republic. It also has the advantage of pretty great transport links to... well everywhere in the world. More planes come through the City's five airports every day than any other city in the world.
     
    There are disadvantages too. London is a very rushed and fast pace of life. Especially in the centre. One of the attractions of the Czech Republic was the more sedate pace. Paya is also closer to his family than I am to mine, and I feel bad about him moving away from them.
     
    So, right now, we have two options. London or the Czech Republic. This coming week i have "discussions" about a few prospects (apparently the formal interview is sooo passé) and I guess we will have to make a decision. Paya and I have a long weekend for valentines in London from Friday - I doubt very much that we will now be looking at London in the same way.
     
    Between the Markets, Galleries and "Naked Boys Singing" (a show we have tickets for; front row obviously for the best view).... There might just be a little flat hunting.
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