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Percivial

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  1. I found the inconsistency in the behaviour of both characters in this chapter very jarring. Idk, but it just seemed like too much of a leap that Scott who had been pretty closed off in regards to any emotional attraction is suddenly having sex with Will and the latter who is a professional not only crossed the lines with Scott, but then got into Steve's bed the next morning? Maybe it's just me, but it feels like it came out of nowhere. Liked the chapter, but it just felt like it was all so sudden, the line crossing by Will is shocking to me.
  2. Yessss, the verdict I wanted but in a Peter got justice kind of way and not in a joy at Jordan going to jail kinda way. Guess I won't be needing the pitchforks afterall. Again, huge credit goes to you for capturing the courtroom atmosphere and imagery in your words, it's really helped in making this easy to read. I'm looking forward to the epilogue. Part of me kind of wants an extra chapter some years in the future where maybe Jason or someone else visits Jordan in jail and we get a glimpse of the effect of prison life on his personality
  3. Sorry about my review on the previous chapter, I had a 'doh' moment and clicked on add review without typing anything. Good closing statement from the prosecution and I can't wait to read to jury's verdict. I've got the lighter and effigies ready just in case it's not the verdict I want
  4. Percivial

    Chapter 21: Date

    I have to compliment you again on how to describe little details, from scenery to the character's posture or body movements during an interaction. This chapter was by far my favorite and the date/conversation between Blake and Haze was lovely to read while it lasted(Penelope, grrrr ). I can't wait to read where you're going with the story after the picture Blake discovered. I know there's probably lots of drama to come as I don't think Mrs.Herrington will approve of their relationship without a fight, but I hope we get to see more of the relaxed, non-obsessive interactions we saw between them in this chapter, if they get past their individual issues, they could make an awesome couple. Thanks for the reply to my last review, I hope I didn't come off as rude or insensitive towards Blake's issues with how I described him, because I can actually relate a bit to him, but the review was just how I felt up until then, the scuffle with Derrick and attitude towards Nat didn't help my opinion either as I thought Blake handled both really badly, but you probably can't fully fault him for it.
  5. You're an amazing writer and your way with words, the way you describe every little detail really makes for an enjoyable read. But until this chapter, I can't really say I liked Blake, in fact he gets on my nerves and I find him slightly annoying, a bit pathetic and just generally weary. Not because of his insecurities, I could actually relate to that a bit and I'm rooting for him to pull through and see himself the way others see him. But the constant, slightly pathetic/obsessive pining over Haze(and everything he did) who until chap. 16 hadn't given any indication that he might be inclined to like Blake that way just made me a bit tired. I also kinda agreed with Derrick- whom I really hope gets an apology from Blake sometime as he didn't deserve to get beaten up that way, that Blake at 26 is a bit too old to be doing the dopey eyed, crushing from afar on my 'straight' friend thing. I especially couldn't understand the anger at Patty(who seems a bit nice so far) being all over Haze seeing as Blake and Haze weren't even that close as friends not to mention something more which means he really had no claim or right over Haze. But I guess those feelings stem from the mental issues he has which makes him think that way? I think this chapter made me warm up to Blake a bit because he finally had a sincere, non-gooey eyed conversation with Haze where he opened up himself without the obsessive pining. He talked to him as a friend instead of an obsession. I'm looking forward to seeing both characters open up more
  6. Felt like I was going through an episode of The Good Wife lol, I really enjoyed reading this and you do an awesome job of writing a courtroom scene. I know there might probably be twists coming, but I don't see how Jordan can get off in this. I can't wait for him to take the stand and see how the defense will try to twist everything and make him look like the victim. I found this part really strange: "How long have you and Jason been dating?" "It will be two years in October." "Are Darryl and Dean a couple?" "Objection." Rankin stood up." It was a very valid question and I really can't think of any reason why the defense chose to object except maybe to get his voice heard. Now if it was the defense asking the question and the prosecution objecting, I could understand.
  7. Percivial

    Epilogue

    Quite surprised that we got the epilogue today, I feel sad that the journey's ended earlier than I thought I was looking forward to a final confrontation between Silver and Uncle Ray/Aunt Sophy where he gives them a huge f.u rather than wilt away like the old Silver did. Thanks a lot for the amazing story, it's been very absorbing and I've loved very chapter even though sometimes it was hard to read them.
  8. Ariel was once again very adorable in this chapter Glad to see they finally cleared out the unspoken tension over Asher. I really can't feel sorry for Tony even though he never really mistreated the boys except Ariel pity he had to lose Asher, though I wonder if he could have ever fully had him with Silver around.
  9. Enjoyed reading this as always, I definitely love the new Silver now. It looks like there's still some issues to air out between River and Silver before they can be fully comfortable with each other. River has been known to lash out when tense or under pressure, I hope he keeps calm when they have their talk about Asher.
  10. Touching scenes between Ariel and Silver, I almost wish they could bring him along But he obviously has more than brotherly feelings for Silver, so that'd be awkward. And it's nice to see both characters have actually grown(though Silver more than River). He's seen the mistakes he made in how he took care of Silver the first time. Hopefully now he lets he and Silver take care of Ben rather than feeling like he has to take care of Ben and Silver
  11. I can't even begin to describe the vast difference in emotions I experienced from the start of the chapter to how it ended.
  12. Enjoyed this chapter, mainly because unlike the other times when Silver has had memories of River, he didn't try to push them down. This time he showed the new Silver by deciding he'll find River and that's good to see. I'm still on "team River and Silver getting back together", but even if they don't, I can't wait for them to meet again, they both need some kinda closure and River needs to make Silver see that some of the things he thought weren't so. But there'll surely be some twists, and I can't wait.
  13. As much as I credited Asher for pushing Silver, I think he should have kinda seen the overload of "newness" coming especially with the haircut. But, poor Asher, even though I'm not firmly on his team and might never be, it must have hurt more than he's letting on to be with Silver and have him calling after River. He seems to know that Silver is holding a part of himself back, hopefully he doesn't fall too deeply until Silver is ready to give him all of himself or at least a huge chunk. Good chapter.
  14. Credit to Asher who handled Silver slightly differently in this chapter than River would have- pushing him to go interact with people instead of cushioning him. Though that could come from having experienced and having more knowledge about what Silver has gone through. And yay, two chapters in one day
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