viv

I couldn’t decide if her look of surprise, my look of shock over how direct Jesse had just been with her, or his wide eyed reaction to his dad walking in just in time to hear his declaration was more obvious as he stood there looking from one of us to the other, waiting for some kind of response to his abrupt statement. His eyes caught mine momentarily as I flashed him a look of sympathy before he looked to his mom, silently asking for her approval. His dad didn’t say anything as he stood the

When I sat down at our usual lunch table, the sun shining warmly down on us from above, I was greeted by Jules and Sean who, by the looks of things had gotten pretty close since the last time I talked to Jules. I was happy for her, for them, and I was smiling. I guess I was pretty happy for myself too after the amazing weekend I had just spent with Jesse. “What’s up guys?” I asked as they both looked at each other conspiratorially. It was as if they were consulting the other so as not to give

I could feel the soft flesh of his lips as they kissed and sucked their way across my chest, my hands clutching his shoulders. I watched intently as he placed each kiss on my strong, bronzed chest and as his mouth closed over my nipple I moaned with pleasure. His tongue flicked back and forth across it before he moved across giving the same treatment to the other side of my chest. He looked up at me and our eyes met as he silently asked me for permission to go on. I wanted it so much, I had been

After the phone call to his mom and us returning her car to her, we were finally standing in my room, once again alone and about to spend the night with each other for the second night in a row. He seemed nervous this time, not like last night, and I wondered why. We had just spent the most amazing evening together, with the beautiful picnic he surprised me with next to the river, and he was fine all night, until right now. “Jess, are you alright?” I asked him. If he didn’t want to be here I

I woke early the next morning to find myself holding Jesse in the safety of my arms as though we hadn’t moved away from each other the whole night. He was snuggled against me, his head nestled comfortably in the small space where my neck and shoulder met my chest. He was softly snoring, and I could feel his warm breath each time he exhaled, as it lightly feathered over my bare skin. His legs were tucked in between mine, perhaps in an effort to have every part of our bodies in contact with one an

The wind was blowing a little today, but not enough to affect my game. I had been through this enough times over the years that I knew how to adjust for that variable. I loved the feel of the sun warming my body and the cool fall breeze blowing around me. The freshly cut grass was fragrant and as I enjoyed the scent I cleared my head. Standing out there on the mound, my team behind me waiting, I brushed the dirt off the rubber with my cleat before I looked to my right, nodding at Bobby and then

I think I had been sitting in the library for an hour after school before I noticed that Jesse hadn’t shown up yet. I checked my watch realizing that I was getting anxious. He wouldn’t just not come, or at least I didn’t think he would do that, so something must have come up. At least I hoped that was the case, and not that he was mad at me about what had happened earlier at lunch. I went back to the book I was supposed to be reading for English class and eventually he flopped down in the sea

I had received several comments on my cheeriness, and I had been told a couple times in each class, that I sounded happy during the morning announcements. I was beginning to wonder just how much of an asshole I usually was if me having a smile on my face and sounding a little bit happy caused such a reaction. I guess being well known came with a price, no chance at privacy or retreat from the public eye. It was in my fourth period class, student government, that I realized that next period wa

The warm sun was shining down on us as we ran our laps around the baseball field. It was the same routine every practice, down the first base line, across the outfield, and then up the third base line, across home, and then do that ten times. I didn’t really mind the running, it gave me a chance to clear my head a bit, and I didn’t run much else during practice since I pitched. Bobby and I usually stuck together when we ran, even though we didn’t say much, but as the seniors on the team, we

Okay, so this was bad. I would never make it to Jesse’s house by seven. Coach had kept me after practice, probably because I couldn’t concentrate. I had almost hit a couple guys with some of my pitches. I was in my room trying to find something to wear. I had just finished showering. I couldn’t show up at Jesse’s house all sweaty, smelly and dirty from practice. I had a towel wrapped around my waist when my Dad walked in. “Hey Son,” he said as he walked in and sat at the foot of my king si

The tiny white lights that ran along the thin tree braches illuminated the midnight sky. The outer walls were lined with small tables covered with white linens and white, wooden slatted chairs sat beside them. Sheer, silver taffeta bows hung on the backs of the chairs blowing in the breeze that floated across the crisp night air. It brought the scent of vanilla as small glowing candles lined the path I took following the melodic sound I almost felt instead of heard. As I walked on and the tre

Stephen is your everyday high school jock, popular and smart too. While he has gotten accustomed to living his life each day as a straight guy, deep down he knows he’s gay, and one magical night he meets someone who intrigues him enough to step out of his normal complacency and take a chance at being himself.

You take my breath away and then ask if I’m okay, Neat trick, to feel amazing while you’re suffocating. My heart’s beating out of my chest and my head goes black, And the thing is, I wouldn’t ever give these moments back. There’s something scary about feeling so alive, And considering the alternative, I’ll survive. For every night and every right, for our daydreams in the sunlight, For every wrong and every song, I knew it was you all along, Cause these days and minutes are the ones we’ll remember all our lives, And every sunset and sunrise make me glad that I’m still by your side. I’ll give you every breath… until I have nothing left. Whoaa, whoa. You filled me with hope, led me to a slippery slope, Took a step and went sliding, worlds colliding. When you give so much of yourself, your everything, Sometimes you wonder if you’ll be left with anything. I just need a minute, or possibly forever, To figure it all out and get my head together. For every day in every way, for all the little things you say, For every smile and every trial, knowing it’ll all be worthwhile, Cause these days and minutes are the ones we’ll remember all our lives, And every sunset and sunrise make me glad that I’m still by your side. I’ll give you every breath… until I have nothing left. Whoaa, whoa. You taught me about music, taught me not to lose it, Even when things get rough or when times are tough. This song of life sometimes sounds like it’s out of tune, But if you keep your head up, things will get better soon. You can live like a rock star, it’s a wild ride, And sometimes the best songs are found on the b-side.

This is part of a continuing series. Underneath This Big Ol' Sky parts 1-3 are part of the Gay Authors 2007 Anthologies.

Caty was sure that any big city woman would find the shimmery, black satin dress with the back that was barely there, but enough skirt for days, appealing. As hard as she tried though, she just couldn’t make herself like it. Not as much as she liked the other dress with the white puffy sleeves and petticoat that brushed her ankles, the soft lilac colored jumper with the corseted waist. She ran the satin ribbon that fastened beneath it through her fingers as she wondered which dress Will would li

2007 Anthology

The darkness of night gave way to the light of dawn as Will stepped out onto the old wooden stoop of the old wooden bunkhouse. It would hold together for several years to come, just like the house and the barn would; the stuff built today just didn't have the same quality. Tracey had just brushed past him and, after a mumbled good morning, headed straight for the bathroom. Will imagined a shower would be something much appreciated after having slept outside all night, the early morning dew falli

This is the second part of a continuing series. Underneath This Big Ol' Sky Part 1, can be found as part of the Gay Authors Spring 2007 Anthology.

Casey slept fitfully as the rain started to fall on his oversized yellow house. The raindrops starting out as gentle kisses dropping erratically from the starry sky above, and as his dreams caused him to toss and turn, so did the sky churn with dark clouds. The wind, which had just hours earlier been a comforting gust, a caressing breeze, was now determinedly blowing; the draft through his partly open window caused Casey to huddle down even further into the warmth of his bed as he fought with hi

Spring 2007 Anthology

Part 1 Endings and Beginnings The subtle vibrations of the paved road had given way to the bumpier terrain five minutes back as the weathered blue pick-up truck turned onto some obscure dirt road Tracey was sure he wouldn’t be able to pick out again if he had to. Somehow, as if that thought wasn’t unsettling enough, the rocky climb up the bluff had him bouncing uncomfortably against the steel door frame, and the occasional jolt that heaved him forward without warning, was start

2008 Spring Anthology

Underneath This Big Ol’ Sky By Viv — Part 5 — Shade Ain't the Same as Shadows Tantalizing, translucent beads of water, much like the ones that slithered down the shower curtain, meandered down over Tracey’s shoulders and chest, all the while managing to look much more appealing as they rolled over his taut skin and lean form, than they did on some envious piece of forest green plastic. Steam billowed up and crawled on its belly across the ce

Gay Rights- What’s So Right About Them? “The true civilization is where every man gives to ever other man every right that he claims for himself.”- Robert Green Ingersoll. According to this quote and our Constitution of the United States of America, our country is not a true civilization, but a country where bigotry, hatred, and discrimination are chosen by its citizens. One in ten people are gay, which means everyone knows a gay person, they just might not know it yet. These gay citizens are mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, children, friends, co-works, teachers, bosses, strangers, and more. These citizens are a part of the people that make up our country and they should have every right to the same freedoms, benefits, and rights as everyone else in this country. As things are today, gay people aren’t allowed to be married to the person they love. Some gay people aren’t allowed to adopt children, while others who fight to protect the rights and freedoms they are denied aren’t even suppose to tell their country and their fellow soldiers that they are gay. For a child born today in 2010 that is raised in an average two-parent family, the cost is about $300,000. For every child that we deny the chance to be raised by a loving same-sex parent family, the cost falls on the tax payers, just as it does when we deny those loving same-sex parents the chance to have a family of their own. “Nature vs. Nurture” suggests that how, where, and by whom you are raised will affect the outcome and product of what a child will become. “There are arguments for both sides, but from experience, I’ve seen it work both ways, typically with the child taking the good moments with them, while learning what not to do from the bad things, and in the end, a child will be raised in a family that loves it.”-Vivian Barlund. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” is the policy of the U.S. military restricting efforts by the military to try and find out if a soldier is gay, while at the same time stopping these same soldiers from openly being gay while serving their country. If they talk about being gay or about their same-sex relationships they will be discharged and removed from the military. What’s worse is the fact that these gay soldiers are fighting to protect the rights and freedoms that U.S. citizens love and enjoy while they are being denied some of the very same rights. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote during the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to over-turn Colorado’s Amendments 2 referendum, “We cannot accept the view that Amendment 2’s prohibition on specific legal protections does no more than deprive homosexuals the special rights, to the contrary the amendment imposes a special ability on those persons alone. Homosexuals are forbidden the safe guards that others enjoy or may seek without restraint.” A private moral or religious view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite sex couples is not a proper basis for legislation. Currently in America, five states and the District of Colombia issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples- Massachusetts, Iowa, Connecticut, New Hampshire, and Vermont. Along with those marriage licenses, the states offer protections granted to married straight couples who cannot be married, like hospital visitation, social security benefits, immigration, health insurance, estate taxes, family leave, nursing homes, and pensions. All of these things I have discussed, serving you country as part of the military, having a family, being a parents to a child that needs one, being able to marry the one you love, and take advantage of the benefits that come with those things should be among the basic rights for every citizen in this country. Since the beginning of time, different minorities have fought for rights, whether it was a woman’s right to vote, or Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat on a bus, and today, the minority that is fighting for the equal rights are gay people. Society might call this a fight for gay rights, but not much is right about them as they stand today. A gay person is no different from a straight person, and it’s time for people to start putting their money where their mouth is. “It’s not about gay rights anymore, it’s about human rights.”-Vivian Barlund.

A Story for Mikie by Viv It was Thursday, and Thursdays were beef stew day in the cafeteria and library day, Thursdays were mile day and music day, and Thursdays… were my favorite. They weren’t Mondays or Tuesdays when I felt the ease of the weekend being ripped away from me or when I realized that my next weekend was still three days away, and they weren’t Fridays when we had tests and we turned in homework. The days were pretty structured here, keeping the approximately two hund