viv

Wow, this is such a cool topic! Thanks Emulated Imagine the possibilities! ::brain cannot handle the amount of potential options:: I think if I had to play one of my own characters (female) I'd play Caty from Underneath This Big 'Ol Sky... hell, she is a part of me. Assuming appearance doesn't matter, and maybe gender... I would like to play either Jesse from From Behind Those Eyes or Lucas from Days of Silence I think. As for other people's stories... OH MAN! SO many. Jude - The Ordinary Us Luke - Desert Dropping Jacob - Living In Surreality Jake - In Due Time Cale - Paying the Piper I could go on here forever...

... so sleep with her Might as well get the perks out of it. (totally kidding) I have mixed feelings about this. I am a VERY touchy, cuddly, openly emotional girl with EVERYONE. That said, if you're getting the vibe that she is doing it for some other reason than that it's just how she is by nature, then you have to put a stop to it. A little distance, some lines in the sand, that sort of thing before it becomes worse... as these things tend to get worse at exponential rates. Good luck!

So, Tony's friend came to me and said that someone put it into perspective for him by saying, "I'm not sure if it's right or wrong, I just know that it's not MY right to decide that."

Answers here I come... So for the past few weeks I've been feeling different/not great after I eat and since diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc. all runs in my family, I decided I better go to the doctore for the first time in... since Matty was born. I told her my symptoms, I said family history, and she sent me directly to the lab for a whole bunch of tests and said to make an appointment for the following week to have a physical and discuss the results. That was today. Apprently I'm fine, everything is in normal range, except my triglycerides are slightly high, but losing some weight and exercising should help me avoid my genetic predisposition. I asked her why, if nothing is wrong with me, do I get this headache, lightheaded, not feeling so great feeling after I eat anything sugary or sweet? She said, "There is no medical explanation for that." I'm not sure if that translates to 'It's all in your head' or 'Trust your instincts/cravings/what your body is telling you'. Anyway, it is some of a relief to know that I'm not ridiculously unhealthy or anything like that. That said, anyone know an easy way to lose like... a whole person? I'm pretty sure I have a spare 100 pounds here if anyone needs it. UGH! (No I'm not exaggerating) I think I'll think skinny, healthy thoughts. HOLY ARRRGH!!!! My speakers on my laptop are cutting in and out and it's SO pissing me off! But taking it in to have it fixed is like... SO f**kING PAINFUL!!!! I was up till 3:30 am last night/this morning having a discussion/debate with Tony's friend who is visiting from out of state. It started with Prop 8 and should same-sex couples have the right to be married? From there we went on to should same-sex couples have the right to 'raise' kids. In his defense, he's a good guy who was raised in a good family who I love. He is somewhat religious and when I asked him if he actually knows anyone who is gay, he said no, so I think him not being at all exposed to the situation and the realities same-sex couples and gay people face daily is sort of a hinderance. He said, initially, that 'marriage' as far as he knew, was a religious term, and so if you follow religion, then no, same-sex couples shouldn't get married, but they do deserve all the rights and perks. So we went the separation of church and state route, followed by the we're not religious, so does that mean we shouldn't be married either route. Once religion is off the table as an excuse, there's not much to hide behind really. So then he said he thinks, in general, that people who can't 'have kids' shouldn't be able to 'raise' them. So we went the infertal couples/single person who wants to be a parent route. He said he thinks "that if a child is raised by same-sex parents then they will grow up to think it is okay to be gay..." Tony and I said, "It is!" and he agreed. Then I pointed out that straight couples don't always raise straight children and then we got into instinct and attraction on a fundamental level. Are you born gay or do you become gay due to exposure? Anyway, in the end, I think he learned a lot and likely has a new outlook on a lot of those topics. Amazing what a little gay exposure can do for a person, eh? Hugs, Viv

I like 'babe' personally, and use it often, actually. To me, 'baby' is a term for a child under 2 years of age or something that comes from someone with a little too much... flare maybe? I dunno, maybe it's just the way I've heard it used before that leaves me with an unearned reputation... Example, "No argument here, baby..." Sorta like when I called you honey yesterday

As far as I've heard, it'll be 6-8 weeks once he gets to a care center outside the hospital... how long from now until that happens, I don't know.

For a guy in a hospital with half of his body broken, he doesn't look half bad. Also, I've had the pleasure of seeing him in a much more handsome state so I'm glad to see him smiling.

Glad to hear you're doing so well! If not bored... Lots of hugs! Viv

Another update:

So it sounds like I can't call ... yet.

I'm not so sure about the 'have to be a dick' thing... maybe just 'have to be honest' might do the trick. Either way, good luck. It's no fun having to let someone down like that.

You guys are AWESOME! I'm gonna try and call him tomorrow and if I can talk to him, I'll definitely send all the good thoughts and snazzy GA love and healing vibes I can through the phone. I'll keep you posted. Hugs, Viv

Hey everybody... I received an email last night from Steve's sister. I'm going to keep in touch with her and send him some get-well wishes. Why is Canada so far away? Just thought you all might want to know since you're probably wondering where he's been lately. Viv

Thanks guys! I had to work all night... so I'm having a do-over today! Nothing like turning 32 twice...

Twice something like this has happened, and I'm really starting to wonder when recycling started to require this much organization by the masses. The first time I went with Rich and the kids, and we probably had about seven trash bags full of cans and bottles and there was some crazy line of people waiting to use the self-service machines. Additionally, there is a guy working there who will weigh large amounts of stuff that you separate into big trash cans. Well the first time, we used the machine because that's what was available when it became our turn, but that wasn't without some instruction and aid from fellow recyclers who seem to have felt the need to add their input. This time, Annemarie and I went with thirteen trash bags and this is what went down... I park the car and get out and get seven of the thirteen bags and walk over to the back of the short line of people waiting, followed by Annemarie with three more bags. Annemarie heads back to the car to get the last three bags, and this man... jeans, t-shirt, open flannel shirt over that with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, beer gut, trucker baseball cap... this man who's been sizing me up since I walked over asks me how I'm doing today? I reply that I'm fine, thanks, and normally, I would ask about him in return, but intuition tells me not to provoke conversation with this man. He takes a dramatic two steps backward from where he's watching me and then walks over and says, "Are you gonna be using the machine, or are you gonna weigh?" "I think I'm going to weigh," I say, arched eyebrow and all. "Okay, then you'll be behind her," he regulates as he points to the other woman already separating her items into the big trash cans to be weighed. Okay, I think... thanks for that clarification. Annemarie gets back with the other three bags. So I start to move all of our bags over closer to where we will ultimately be separating them into bins, and this guy comes over to help us and Annemarie is looking at me like what the hell is this creepy dude's deal?! I say, "Thanks, that was nice of you." We're now on the other side of a small planter waiting our turn and when the woman in front of us finishes, Annemarie and I both grab a bag and step over and begin to separate cans and bottles and then this man comes over and moves all the rest of the bags over to the other side of this planter. Then, as we get the bins filled and need to move them over so the guy can weigh them, he shoves over empty bins. I don't know... he was helpful-ish and I said thank you, but really? Like we couldn't have figured out our place in line all on our own? Whatever, $29.94 and a cut on my finger later, I was drinking Strawberry Surfrider and watching a grown man randomly skipping across the crosswalk and down Orangethorpe Ave. Also, I'm semi-irate that The Principal's Award that Matty got has a major grammar faux-pas on it. Is that wrong? I'm sure the principal, who is a PhD. has a secretary type these things up... but still, it pisses me off when it says ... is being presented the Principal's Award for taking on the 'witches' role in one day and giving an amazing performance. Really? Sigh... Also, am I really editing the awards my kids bring home from school? I did it with Annemarie's yearbook, too. All attempts made to rescue me from my 2-11 pm shift at work will be appreciated and rewarded. Hugs, Viv

I became the mother of a freshman in high school. HOLY f**kING SHIT. Also, she invited a boy over today. Seriously. I'm plotting against her in a cute way, and I'm actually really excited. Have to wait till Sunday for the payoff though, and I'm not so good at the waiting thing. Once upon a time... I told this guy at work, Daniel, that I write gay romance and that I think he's adorable and I'd love to write him someday. He told me he writes poetry. I gave him the link to my site. He asked if I want to write him cause I think he's gay. Really...? And also, I can't tell you the amount of sad boys there must be out there because you're not. But seriously, it's ridiculous the amount of adorable this kid has. Once upon a time... Somebody didn't pick up their baby shower cake and we ate it at work. Congratulations! It's a boy! Once upon a time... A random kid who was a box boy a lifetime ago in my store came in and recognized me immediately and came over to hug me while I had no idea who he was, until he told me. Once upon a time... My kid won The Principal's Award for taking over the part of The Witch and being amazing. Not amazing enough to remember to tell us that was going to happen so we could be there and clap for him. Once upon a time... I took my blood pressure on one of those little machines outside the pharmacy and it wasn't so great. Maybe it was because I was at work. Maybe not. Once upon a time... Crazy, drunk chick at work freaked out because she saw two guys outside kissing. I asked her if she wanted to trade checkstands. Inappropriate guy walked around trying to rally people to support his position that her freaking out is discrimination. It's not. It's not cool, not nice, not necessary, but also not discrimination. PS. Crazy, drunk chick... you suck at life. Not surprising. Once upon a time... I smuggled celebratory type things into the house two nights in a row. Once upon a time... I went to bed. Good night.

I am to please... Mostly, I just need to get out the huge amount of emotional weight I carry around inside and this is a good way to do it.

First off, since I publicly dragged it all out here, or at least my side of it, my feelings anyway, there were never 'sides', I want to say that I'm sorry I did that. It was probably unfair in some ways and it should have been between you and me... I just didn't know what else to do. I had to get it out there, out from inside me, and I don't know if it helped, but I certainly am much happier now. Anyway, when I see you, I'll probably call you an asshole and then hug you and never let go, so fair warning... Last night we had to go to a parent meeting for the band/colorguard at the high school since my daughter made the colorguard for next year. This is both exciting and excrutiating, in addition to horrifying. I'm excited for her because I went to this high school, and I marched in this program in the colorguard and we were awesome, and I know the experiece is amazing, and the friendships you build last for years and years, and it's a good way to have a support system in place when you start high school. It's also fun tormenting Rich since he went to a rival high school and we have been talking shit to each other about it, but if we move, she'll be so disappointed and I really don't want to take that from her. Additionally, there all these mini MEN there making obvious pay-attention-to-me ploys at my beautiful 13 year old daughter and so I decided she can't date ANYONE unless Rich is dating them also. Seems fair, right? In other news, at work this morning I watched a girl the same age as my daughter get caught by my boss trying to steal $1.50 worth of donuts on her way to Jr. High. I'm still not sure how it became okay to be 13 and on your way to school and stealing from a store. So they called the police and her parents and her school to say she was going to be a little late as she was being detained to wait for the police. Over an hour later, the police show up, but no parent and I'm thinking things like... no wonder this kid is doing stuff like this. Turns out though, that she texted her friend and said 'someone is gonna call you right now, so pretend you're my mom'. So when the police finally figured that out and got a hold of her mom, then we wait for the mom to drive all the way over from some other city. Anyway, she was PISSED! My boss came back in from outside looking like she couldn't believe this mom and said she was swearing at the kid like crazy, etc. A little excessive for a $1.50? Maybe... but it's a problem in our store, what with two schools being right nearby and so I think she wanted to make an example of her. She kept telling the girl to go back to school and tell everyone that if they come in and steal, this is what is going to happen. So, I got a phone call a few nights back from a guy who spent nearly every day and night at the hospital with me for two weeks when someone I loved like a mom was dying. This was five years ago now, and we rarely talk anymore, so I was surprised to hear from him. For the record, it's never a good sign when someone calls you out of the blue and then asks you if you're sitting down... Seems that after she died, he kept in touch with her son and that this guy's wife had called to tell him that the son was in the hospital in the psych ward on suicide watch. Why? Because, he's been molesting his two daughters, 15 and 12. He's supposed to be this good guy, a veteran, a shriner, a mason... he's not even denying it. She's not supposed to have any contact with him, as advised by the social worker, so it won't look like she knew and allowed it to happen or that she condones his behavior. I know people who have been sexually abused and molested by family members... I know how it affects a person for a lifetime. That said, I can't also imagine being able to deal with the man you love, who has been your husband for twenty years, trying to take his life, and then not being able to see him... but these are your KIDS! So my Matty was in a play at school about character, basically about the different pillars of character (qualities) they try to teach the kids. Originally he was supposed to just be in the chorus, but at the last minute a kid who had a major role moved away, and then so they replaced that kid with the kid that was playing the witch, which meant they had to replace the witch... which they did, with Matty! Now, fair warning, I could be biased and a beaming proud mom... or I could be evaluating the situation fairly, but Matty was AWESOME! This script had a lot of adult type humor that I'm pretty sure was lost on most 7 year olds, and so most of the kids sounded pretty monotone when it came to the delivery of the punch line... but Matty 'gets it' and was so good, emphasis in all the right places, etc. He also had to learn a whole song and sing it in front of everyone! So, I'm a proud Mama... deal with it. I've been a little sick, some pressure in my ears, and a little sniffle here, a runny nose there, an occasional fever... I don't feel too bad, just tired and not my chipper self. I hope this sickness decides to flee my body with a quickness. What else? Oh! Ronnie outed me as a porn writer on facebook, and since I update my facebook status via my Twitter, some crazy porn dude is now following my Twitter. There seem to be Twitter stalkers like that. Like when I tweeted that I got a new car, a car Twitter started following me, and when I tweeted about my fortune one night after chinese food, a fortune cookie Twitter is following me. Somehow when I tweet about Brendon and Ryan and the PATD boys or Patrick and Pete and Fallout Boy, they manage not to follow me... *pouts* Hugs, Viv