viv

It is, as it says in the beginning, HIS story... and I was fascinated by that fact, too, along with so, SO very glad that he made it through that and is here with us today.

I am to please... Mostly, I just need to get out the huge amount of emotional weight I carry around inside and this is a good way to do it.

First off, since I publicly dragged it all out here, or at least my side of it, my feelings anyway, there were never 'sides', I want to say that I'm sorry I did that. It was probably unfair in some ways and it should have been between you and me... I just didn't know what else to do. I had to get it out there, out from inside me, and I don't know if it helped, but I certainly am much happier now. Anyway, when I see you, I'll probably call you an asshole and then hug you and never let go, so fair warning... Last night we had to go to a parent meeting for the band/colorguard at the high school since my daughter made the colorguard for next year. This is both exciting and excrutiating, in addition to horrifying. I'm excited for her because I went to this high school, and I marched in this program in the colorguard and we were awesome, and I know the experiece is amazing, and the friendships you build last for years and years, and it's a good way to have a support system in place when you start high school. It's also fun tormenting Rich since he went to a rival high school and we have been talking shit to each other about it, but if we move, she'll be so disappointed and I really don't want to take that from her. Additionally, there all these mini MEN there making obvious pay-attention-to-me ploys at my beautiful 13 year old daughter and so I decided she can't date ANYONE unless Rich is dating them also. Seems fair, right? In other news, at work this morning I watched a girl the same age as my daughter get caught by my boss trying to steal $1.50 worth of donuts on her way to Jr. High. I'm still not sure how it became okay to be 13 and on your way to school and stealing from a store. So they called the police and her parents and her school to say she was going to be a little late as she was being detained to wait for the police. Over an hour later, the police show up, but no parent and I'm thinking things like... no wonder this kid is doing stuff like this. Turns out though, that she texted her friend and said 'someone is gonna call you right now, so pretend you're my mom'. So when the police finally figured that out and got a hold of her mom, then we wait for the mom to drive all the way over from some other city. Anyway, she was PISSED! My boss came back in from outside looking like she couldn't believe this mom and said she was swearing at the kid like crazy, etc. A little excessive for a $1.50? Maybe... but it's a problem in our store, what with two schools being right nearby and so I think she wanted to make an example of her. She kept telling the girl to go back to school and tell everyone that if they come in and steal, this is what is going to happen. So, I got a phone call a few nights back from a guy who spent nearly every day and night at the hospital with me for two weeks when someone I loved like a mom was dying. This was five years ago now, and we rarely talk anymore, so I was surprised to hear from him. For the record, it's never a good sign when someone calls you out of the blue and then asks you if you're sitting down... Seems that after she died, he kept in touch with her son and that this guy's wife had called to tell him that the son was in the hospital in the psych ward on suicide watch. Why? Because, he's been molesting his two daughters, 15 and 12. He's supposed to be this good guy, a veteran, a shriner, a mason... he's not even denying it. She's not supposed to have any contact with him, as advised by the social worker, so it won't look like she knew and allowed it to happen or that she condones his behavior. I know people who have been sexually abused and molested by family members... I know how it affects a person for a lifetime. That said, I can't also imagine being able to deal with the man you love, who has been your husband for twenty years, trying to take his life, and then not being able to see him... but these are your KIDS! So my Matty was in a play at school about character, basically about the different pillars of character (qualities) they try to teach the kids. Originally he was supposed to just be in the chorus, but at the last minute a kid who had a major role moved away, and then so they replaced that kid with the kid that was playing the witch, which meant they had to replace the witch... which they did, with Matty! Now, fair warning, I could be biased and a beaming proud mom... or I could be evaluating the situation fairly, but Matty was AWESOME! This script had a lot of adult type humor that I'm pretty sure was lost on most 7 year olds, and so most of the kids sounded pretty monotone when it came to the delivery of the punch line... but Matty 'gets it' and was so good, emphasis in all the right places, etc. He also had to learn a whole song and sing it in front of everyone! So, I'm a proud Mama... deal with it. I've been a little sick, some pressure in my ears, and a little sniffle here, a runny nose there, an occasional fever... I don't feel too bad, just tired and not my chipper self. I hope this sickness decides to flee my body with a quickness. What else? Oh! Ronnie outed me as a porn writer on facebook, and since I update my facebook status via my Twitter, some crazy porn dude is now following my Twitter. There seem to be Twitter stalkers like that. Like when I tweeted that I got a new car, a car Twitter started following me, and when I tweeted about my fortune one night after chinese food, a fortune cookie Twitter is following me. Somehow when I tweet about Brendon and Ryan and the PATD boys or Patrick and Pete and Fallout Boy, they manage not to follow me... *pouts* Hugs, Viv

Happy Birthday, Vic! Hope you have a great one!

I'm not sure where this is going, and I'll admit that from the beginning. Fair warning. I guess I just want to know if we're ever gonna be okay. Is that too much to ask? I remind myself that I'm not the center of the universe, let alone yours, and that maybe you need some time to figure stuff out, but a lot of times, it doesn't feel like that's what is happening at all. It feels more like you're just trying to see who cares enough to make the cut or maybe to prove something to yourself, I'm really not sure, but either way I flail back and forth over pushing and making the effort or just letting you have your space and silence and hoping you'll remember... everything. Trying to be patient. It's like some crazy cross between 'If you love something, set it free, and if it comes back to you, then it's yours' and 'If it hurts me, then it's not healthy for me to be involved'. It's possible that it could be neither and you're just trying to find out what being on your own feels like and who you are when no one is standing there next to you, and that's cool... mostly. It's also possible that the fallout from things spreads further than anyone can imagine. Maybe I'm putting the blame for this on someone/something it isn't, maybe it's just me and my uncertain future, but it doesn't seem that way. Then again, what seems right lately? I've been wrong before. I don't even know anymore... That's not true. I do know some things. I know that when we're talking, I smile, and you smile. We laugh and we are so in tune that it's scary. We're happy, maybe not about everything, but for those few minutes anyway. I know what goes on in your head, and maybe that scares you, or maybe you appreciate it. Double edged sword. I know that this sucks and hurts, and maybe I'm a casualty of war, or maybe I'm a part of what you're fighting so hard to beat. I know that irrationality has taken hold once or twice and I even understand why, but that doesn't fix anything and it doesn't make me feel any better... what about you? It's times like this I want to say 'if you think I'm gonna sit by and watch you f**k this up and throw away something amazing, then you're so wrong' but then I remember that I don't get to decide for you and that short of showing up on your doorstep, I'm not sure I can sell it. I'm not sure I should even have to after everything. There was a time I wouldn't even have to wonder. Now I sit around answering questions from people about you like your secretary, when the truth is, I don't even really know. I know that pisses you off, too. Maybe that's a part of what you're trying to fix, but I'm not sure how that's my responsibility or if I should be claiming any for that happening in the first place. I'm not even sure how I feel anymore, and for me, that's dizzying since usually I'm transparent to anyone who looks at me, let alone myself. Angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated, worried, lonely, selfish, proud, hopeful, glad, scared, apologetic, distanced, blurry maybe... like I'm holding back. I'm definitely holding back. Since when do I do that? Since when do you? It's stifling and it's a waste in this already too short life we live. I think we both know a little about wasting time and opportunities. Or a lot. I'm glad that you're getting to do a lot of the things you have put off for so long, and I hope you feel accomplished, but I wouldn't know. Maybe it loses some of the glory in the day to day grind, but when you look at the big picture, so much has been done already. I won't take any credit for that, you did it all, and I'm happy I got to watch, even if it's been from a distance lately. Really, I just want you happy. Is it wrong to want me happy, too? Or to want you there? I want you there. I want you to want to be there. It's not a side effect of the cocaine. I am thinking it must be love...

Hi Chase... We met once, briefly, in chat. You didn't seem egotistical or emo or anything... just pretty laid back and real. For the most part, everyone I have met since I have been here has been pretty real, too. Some have issues or drama, some have more time or need for this place or devotion than others, but I usually find that the people around here are just what they seem. As far as what you're doing here, telling a bunch of strangers your life story... all I can suggest is that you do it because you get something in return that compels you to continue. Hopefully it's an even exchange, but I realize not all relationships work that way all the time. I've been around here a while now, and for me anyway, it's been amazing. I've met so many amazing people here that I've grown to love. I've had people from across the country visit and stay in my home with my family. We've vacationed together and celebrated holidays together, and just built these amazing relationships. I hope that whatever you need or want, you find here at GA, and that you can offer the same to others. Hugs, Viv

Added a few more pictures to the Yosemite album if anyone is interested...

NO! SUCH an omission on my part! She was with Rich... whew! (One would think I would notice if I had left behind the teenager... maybe because there was no fighting the whole way home since they were in different cars... )

No, this one said: Need a marriage counselor? I'm available... -GOD

Wednesday, May 13th- Rushed around all morning, picked up Rich from work, and drove to LAX to see Jeff who was on a 9 hour layover on his way to Australia. I haven't seen him in almost a year, which is WAY too long, so it was awesome to just get to hug him and laugh and hug him and talk and hug him and talk about porn and hug him and make jokes that make Rich uncomfortable and hug him. We browsed Borders and ran into a bear... We headed back to LAX to drop him off and ran into Mariah Carey being papparazied... LAME! When I got home, I did laundry and passed out. Thursday, May 14th- Drove Rich to work and then came home and packed for our trip and did more laundry and rushed around some more and then picked up the kids early from school, picked Rich up from work, drove through a McDonalds and hit the 5 heading north. Stopped in Valencia for a bathroom and some Jamba Juice. Saw a lame billboard in Bakersfield. Rich paid for some Big Daddy Beef Stick in Fresno while we watched some dude get arrested. Got to Tony's house and picked him up and went and had thai food at his favorite place in town, Sam's Cafe. We went grocery shopping for Yosemite, met up with my other brother, Jeff, and his wife, Maria. Packed a cooler and drove to the Yosemite Rustic Bug Lodge... Friday, May 15th- Got up early, showered, fed the kids. Made 14 sandwiches and packed a cooler. Made the kids shower, dunked them in sunscreen and then realized we have no cell service and so it would be impossible to tell Tony and his friends where to meet us at the Bug Lodge so we stood out on the road and waited for them to drive by so we could flag them down. Here is a picture of that: We hiked around Yosemite and got attacked by bugs so we stopped for bug repellent at the Village Store. Dunked everyone in that and then saw some waterfalls. Had some lunch, fed a chipmunk a piece of crust and then Aaron yelled at me. Got on a bus to Vernal Falls where we hiked up 1.5 miles. Jeff said it was a pretty flat hike... compared to the Grand Canyon! Tony and Annemarie and Tony's friends took off while the rest of us stayed at the 'we're not 20 years old anymore' pace. We kept asking Matty if he needed a break and he would say, "Yeah, can we rest a minute?" and we would all say, "OKAY!" (thank goodness) Yosemite Pictures What goes up, must come down again... 1.5 miles. We drove to Glacier Point Lookout and saw what we had just seen all day, but from the top and it was BEAUTIFUL! Drove back to the Bug Lodge, made dinner for 11 people, got the kids showered, took a shower and didn't move until the net morning. Saturday, May 16th- Got up early, showered, packed, got the kids dressed and fed and in the car. Drove back to Merced for Tony's graduation. Got to his house and met up with my sister and her boyfriend. Got to meet Tony's best friend, Mike (who is awesome, I'll explain later). Got our parking passes and tickets and drove to the community college. Got on the shuttle busses and rode over to the University. Went and found some food, saw the snipers on the roof top. Went through security and the metal detectors, twice. Michelle Obama agreed to be the key-note speaker at the graduation after receiving this video and over 900 Valentine cards and letters from the students, so that's why there was all the extra craziness. They made me apply the sunscreen to Matthew or I couldn't bring it in with me. We found our seats and applied MORE sunscreen. Matthew was close to being delerious in the heat so Rich took him to sit under a tree in the shade. It was SO hot... like I'm from California, and I know hot... and this was HOT! This is her speech... Part One Part Two Part Three Part three is the best in my opinion, but it was a good speech. Met Tony's girlfriend, Jolie, who prior to this point, I had only spoken to in an emergency type manner after Lacrosse injuries. We went to dinner at BJ's Brewery in Fresno where Tony admitted he had been lying to us all, and was, in fact, going to law school in Sacramento at the University of the Pacific. CONGRATULATIONS!! Sunday, May 17th- Woke up in another strange bed, got a massage that my body was VERY appreciative of after the hiking in Yosemite. I can't remember now if I am or am not supposed to tell you that I had sex on our 16 year anniversary in a hotel bathroom, bent over the counter cause our kids were in the next room... Took a shower, went to eat, brought Tony and his girlfriend some burgers, and then packed up all his stuff so he could move home for the summer. While we were working on that, Matthew was playing pool with Tony's friend, Mike, for $1. This guy was... amamzing. Matthew had SUCH a great time and Mike kept missing on purppose or telling Matty to take another shot cause that one didn't count. He was setting the balls up so Matty could make it in over and over again till it actually happened. In the end, when Matty 'won' and Mike told him to take the $1, then Matty tried to give him a chance to win it back! So he had to lose some more... it was pretty awesome to watch. I drove my car with Matty and a bunch of Tony's stuff in it while Rich drove Tony's truck with the furniture in it, and Tony rode his motorcycle 300 miles home in 106 degree heat. Arrived home at 8pm where a bunch of 20 year old boys showed up to help unpack everything and I got the the kids ready for bed before passing out myself. Wednesday, May 20th- STILL doing laundry... Hugs, Viv

That's so true! I STILL remember when Matty was born (Sept. 11th) and everyone started putting these GOD bless America stickers all over their cars and she asked one day what GOD was and we're looking at each other like... what do we say?! UGH! And finally Rich says... it's dog backwards. And that was the end of that.

The other night at dinner, Annemarie was telling us about this show she had seen on TV earlier... The Top 15 Hollywood Tragedies. There was Christopher Reeves who fell while riding a horse and became a quadraplegic, and Bernie Mac who smoked cigars every day for years and died after catching pnuemonia, and Heath Ledger who overdosed, and Kurt Cobain who killed himself, to list a few. She thought it was all very sad, but I stopped her and said that there is a difference between tragedy and stupidity. Christopher Reeves... TRAGEDY! Heath Ledger... STUPIDITY. Kurt Cobain... STUPIDITY! It's a matter of circumstance, I suppose. Did something happen to you, or did you do it to yourself? I absolutely think that we are fortunate to have been able to have been touched by the talents those people had, and been able to relate to them on some personal level. One of them contributed to great things that have been integral to the existence of someone I know and love a lot. That said, when the person comes to their outcome by their own making and own decision, are they a victim, or a volunteer? When you choose to contribute to your own demise... So, of course I stopped her and explained tragedy vs. stupidity. I suggested that if she want to see some real tragedy, she should look at the kids who were killed at Columbine High School, or Matthew Shepard. "Who is Matthew Shepard?" Look it up... So, she did. And after many questions and comments and a fair amount of outrage, she asked me the following question. "Mom, who do you admire?" I was really surprised that I couldn't think of anyone. I started to wonder if that's because people really just suck that much, or is it because I'm too self-centered? After some discussion and devil's advocate play with Other Steve, I decided that I admire qualities in people, and tend to overlook the person as a whole. No one is perfect, and maybe I just accept everyone for who they are, flaws and all. I suppose if I sat here and thought about it, I could come up with some typical names, like Martin Luther King or the person who invented glasses or the doctor who first figured out how to transplant organs... but honestly, I still can't think of anyone I know. Have known... Pondering, still... Viv

I went to buy some new pants for work, and normally I buy Dickies cause they're pretty heavy duty, sturdy, and I liked that when I was doing more than just standing there and looking cute while flirting with firemen as I sell them groceries and overlooking the old guy that won't stop calling me Toots. Anyway, I decided I might like something a little nicer and made for a girl, since I am one, and I have these hips and everything. So, since they closed Mervyns down a couple months back, I decide to go to Kohl's, cause every time I've been in there, I like the stuff I see. Well, I should insert at this point, that I HATE shopping for clothes for me, likely cause I'm not thin and nothing fits right and it sucks. This is a HUGE clue as to why fat girls love shoe shopping, just so you know... cause no matter how fat you get, shoes always fit, but I digress. I went in and looked around and couldn't find anything in my size or that I was brave enough to try on, and got frustrated and was going to go back to the Dickies place anyway where they have stuff that I KNOW fits, but instead, I decided to stop at the mall across the street and go into Lane Bryant, which I hate doing... because that's like... hello, reality check, you're fat. But I go... and I easily find a rack of black dress pants and as I'm looking for a size 18 to try on, on a lucky day, and depending on the cut, I can do 16, but that's rare, and everything on the rack says size 1, 2, 3, 4, etc... so I'm wondering if I'm in the wrong damn store or something! But no, I look up on the wall and there is the Lane Bryant sign, so then I wonder if they started carrying clothes for normal sized people (yes, my brain thought this awful thing) and so I venture to the other side of the store to check for stuff that has 2 digits in the size. I don't find anything like that, but what I do find is a BIG sign saying that they have a new 'Right Fit Waistband' with three different cuts, depending on the shape of your body and how 'curvy' you are, and to get measured with the 'Right Fit Waistband Tape Measure' to find out what size you are. So, I ask to be measured, and the girl tells me I'm a 4... she thinks I should go with moderately curvy. I try on a pair, and they're a bit too big so she brings me a 3 and they're better, but I still think the cut for the straighter type bodies would be better... I try a pair, and I like how they look better, but they don't have my size so I go with moderately curvy, whatever. I get up to the counter to pay for these pants, which by the way, is run by overweight women, and this is the conversation that happened... Me: I just want you to know that I think it's absurd that at Lane Bryant, I am a size 3. The Girls: Well *giggle* it's fun to be able to say when someone asks you what size you are, that you are a size 3. Me: On what f**king planet is anyone going to look at me and believe that? Further, I think that that is just going to make things even worse for overweight women. It's like denial at it's best, and worst. If the system makes you unhappy, make a new one where you can pretend you are. And now that you don't have a weight problem, cause you're a size 3 after all, you can totally stop doing anything you were doing and any and all efforts you were making to try and maintain some modicum of health and fitness. Also, according to Twitter, the PATD boys were one mile from my house and maybe three miles from my work, hanging out in my city, and did not come to visit me... on what f**king planet does that even happen?! Hugs, Viv

A - Age: 31... for 58 more days. B- Bed size: California King, after all, we live in California and I have a big husband. C - Chore you hate: Hmm, I guess it's a toss up between cleaning the bathroom, yard work, and washing dishes. D - Dogs or cats: 2 Kitties. E - Essential start your day item: Toothbrush. F - Favorite color: Green. G - Gold or Silver: Silver. H - Height: 5'4" as of recently. I - Instrument played: I don't play anything, sadly... I'm a groupie, and I was in colorguard. J - Job title: Sucker? No, I guess currently I'm a checker. K - Kid(s): 2 - One of each. L - Loud or quiet: If I have to choose one, I guess I'd say loud, but in my family, I may be the quiet one... M - Mom's name: Kathryn. N - Nicknames: Viv, Vivvy, Vee, Mom, Mommy, Momma, MOM!!!!!!, on occasion, and although I do not support it, V-Dawg, Babe, Honey, Sweetie, Sunshine, Beautiful, one customer at work insists on calling me Toots O - Overnight hospital stay: Been there, done that. Would like not to return again for another. P - Pet Peeve: Stupid, and by that I mean people who choose to be uninformed or know something is a REALLY bad idea/choice and do it anyway, people. Q - Quote from a movie: Gosh... how does one choose here? From Marley and Me: "Loyalty. Courage. Devotion. Simplicity. Joy. And the things that did not matter too. A dog has no use for fancy cars or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A water-logged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illliterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. How many times in your life do you meet someone that makes you feel extraordinary?" R - Right or left handed: Right, unless I'm feeling ambidextrous cause my right hand is otherwise occupied. S - Siblings: 3 T - Time you wake up: Today? 8:57 am. U- Underwear: Under where? Yes, small. V - Vegetable you dislike: Cooked spinach usually, and those little baby corn... W - Ways you run late: I try not to, but traffic usually. X - X-rays you've had: Teeth, I believe that's it. Y - Yummy food you make: Uhh, everything I make is yummy. It's the rules... Z - Zoo favorite: Giraffes, and any marine animals. Anybody else care to play along? Love, Me

I think the best thing you can do is be the best friend you can be to whomever is asking it of you at the time. At some point it's likely that you'll get approached by one or both of them for advice or allowance of some idea or behavior. I'm really sorry that your friends are breaking up And I'm sorry you're dealing with being unable to actually DO anything to fix things or help. I know the feeling well, and it's not something I wish on anyone. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best. Hugs, Viv PS. I totally freakin' miss you!

We put down the obligatory 10% and bicycles won't work for us, or trust me, we'd have done that. We'll just refinanace that ridiculous loan when Rich gets a job... They gave me one day off next week... my anniversary. Thanks, guys.

I had to return my car to the dealer today... our lease was up and since Rich isn' t working, they wouldn't finance us to buy it. In turn, we got a new (to us) car, a HUGE car payment each month, and completely screwed over with a 23.5% interest rate... awesome. I read this today and was pleased to see something that wasn't about their hair styles, or some gay/emo bullshit, in case anyone's interested. Pop.nography Also, in that article is a link to another article which I found interesting as well, if anyone is really devoted to my recommendations. Also, welcome home to the PATD boys who were in South Africa for some shows and crazy safari/mountain climbing, and we can't forget Brendon Urie turning 22... Happy Birthday! So, in other news, it seems that half of my bestest friends have managed to disappear, which pretty much sucks, in case you were wondering. I've made a couple friends at work, told off inappropriate, annoying guy for gay bashing type behavior, and used my influence to get the new toolish manager to stop being a dickhead to all the kids there. My 12 year anniversary there is next Tuesday... whee. The kids are on spring break this week, and amazingly it's been quiet and uneventful, aside from the buying a new car bit. I've been twittering, Twitter in case anyone is interested... don't anyone stalk me please. I know cute boys that are crazy karate black belts and I'm not afraid to use them. So, my sister-in-law brought over Wild Tigers I Have Known for me to watch. Anyone seen it? Trailer It has an interesting message, I wonder if anyone got it... The boy that plays Logan is beautiful. As much as I pretend that I can, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to understand what it's like. According to the Urban Dictionary, I'm an awesome kisser... can't say I disagree, but it's nice to see it in print, you know? Anyway, that's all. Have a great trip in Slovakia, Toby! Hugs, Viv PS. I miss you.

that seems like a generalization to me... but I kind of like it in certain margaritas in certain places with certain salsa and tortillas and waiters with nice asses and others with not so nice moustaches...

I'm glad you're healing, Luc, even if it is slowly. I didn't know Mark very well, and when I first saw the email I thought... Oh, how very sad. It wasn't until an hour or two later that it occured to me that Mark is to you, what Dave is to me and that just killed me. I had these huge waves of grief and sadness for you, and for Mark, and for what will hopefully never happen to Dave and I. So, on that level, I understand, and I absolutely don't find you a fool for believing in what you know to be true in your heart. For that, I consider you lucky. I wish I could do something to help, but I suppose I'll get over that eventually. In the meantime, if you do find something I can do for you, please let me know. I know it's been a while since we talked, what with you trying to recover and away, but I always did like talking to you and seeing into your head just a little... cause what's inside there is really beautiful. You, and your words for Mark, like Interlude, make me smile and ache and have faith that things happen as they should in this life, and the next, so be patient. Hugs, Vivian

I have read CC and recommended it repeatedly to people who then bite my head off because it's not finished but it's worth the wait, so thanks It's interesting how you can see a name and know automatically who it is even though you've never seen them around here before... guess that means you made it, or something. Welcome! Hugs, Viv

I'd like to think it's as simple as root beer floats, but the truth is, it's not. I started at my new store two weeks ago and have managed to make a few friendly faces smile in my direction. Still no one to hug, though. There's a cute, quiet guy who works mostly nights and I have to work to make him talk, which might be half the fun, but he's smart and curious and witty and intrigues me. Another cute kid who has a cool tattoo and had a HUGE hicky on his neck yesterday that I was having far too much fun teasing. The token gay guy that I manage to spot right away and now we giggle and talk about cute customers together. There's a kid who everyone says is so quiet, but one of the first nights I closed, he was there with me, and I got him talking and now he never shuts up, which I love. There's a high school guy who was doing this thing where he uses as few words as possible and speaks quietly, and when I finally got him talking, I noticed he had an accent so I asked him where he was from and he said England. My theory is he didn't like that he sounded different from all the other kids, but I'm a snazzy grown-up and I think it's cool, so now he's talk-talk-talking. There's a girl who only works weekends and is like a flashback in time for me. She's a senior and beautiful and smart and in all AP classes and wants to be a marine biologist and it was like seeing myself 15 years ago. There's also a guy who's making sexually inappropriate comments to me, to the point of making me uncomfortable, which if you know me means what he's saying is beyond ridiculous, and if he does it again, I will be giving his 18 year old cocky ass a lesson on the definition of sexual harassment. We're doing this Earth Day thing, trying to help preserve the Earth by creating less trash in the form of plastic bags by getting people to buy and use these reusable grocery bags so, as with every thing like this we do all year, we sell root beer floats to customers for $1 (the price of the bag) and they get a (free) bag to use. I bought 6 bags the other day when I was shopping after work, and the manager says I can have 6 root beer floats... but what am I gonna do with 6 root beer floats, so I told the girl to give them to everyone working the front end that afternoon. So, I know I just got two new bosses two weeks ago when I came to this store, but as of today, I have two new bosses... again. Seems they cleaned out this store and brought us all in new. Probably a good thing, so we'll see what happens. I was off last Friday, and we decided to go to the movies and see Adventureland. We went to my store to get some snacks and drinks to illegally smuggle into the movie and then went next door to have pizza for dinner. We drove to the theater, bought tickets, and stood in a far shorter line than all those people waiting to see The Fast and the Furious part 342... While we're waiting, my daughter points out that this movie is rated R (because everytime we think a movie is inappropriate for her to see, for whatever reason, and she's arguing, we say it's rated R, so no) and so I say, "Well, I guess you two will just have to wait out here then," and the woman in line behind us was all ::raises eyebrow:: and says, "UHH?" and I look over like ::rolls eyes:: "Totally kidding." Like if I'm gonna leave my kids in the lobby of the movie theater for two hours... PLEASE! We get inside the theater, sit down, are watching the previews, and then my son throws up EVERYWHERE! So I'm like OH SHIT! and we get up and go out of the theater, and I tell the guy working that I'm SO sorry, but my son threw up in there and he asks if the movie had started yet and we say the previews have and he sorta shrugs and says we can get our money back if we need to leave. Matty is covered in barf :wacko: and I take him to the bathroom to wash his hands, feet, flip-flops, etc... and I have him sitting on the counter washing his feet, and I notice a boy at the sink washing his hands... and then a man walks past and OH MY GOD, I'M IN THE MEN'S ROOM!! So, I'm like... "C'mon, Matty, we have to go to the other bathroom and he says, "But I'm not a woman..." and I say, "Well, I'm not a man!" It was a rough night... Dave called me one minute before I had to clock in yesterday at work, so I couldn't really talk to him so he said he'd phone me today... Hopefully he's all moved in and has Chris with him. So I've been talking to this beautiful German guy I know, and the other night we were talking, and Rich was sitting next to me and sneezed so I said, "Gesundheit," as I always have since that's what my mom taught me, at the same time he says, "Bless you," and then we look at each other and laugh at the irony of me using German and him using English.It was pretty humorous. OH MY f**kING GOD! So, Tony calls me the other day from some cabin where he and his friends are off snowboarding and tells me this: Aunt M and Uncle D just called me to see if I got out okay, and I was like what are you talking about? So they tell me that like 2 weeks ago someone called them from Ontario, Canada saying they were me and that I was in Ontario on a vacation, and that I had been drinking and got into a car accident and I needed $3900 to give the guy I hit. I'm so embarassed, please don't tell the family, etc. so they wire me the money and then the next day I called back and said I needed $4100 more to give him. So, $8000 later, he's finding out that someone is walking around with his name and a picture ID and the name and phone number of our aunt and uncle and $8000 of their money. My questions are as follows: How did they not know it was him?! And really, sending all that money without calling me first, even if he asked them not to? Here in the USA when you use MoneyGram, you have to give the person picking up the money a reference number... did they call him to give him one, and at what number? Also here in the USA, if you are purchasing money orders for more than $1000 or receiving monies exceeding $1000 there is a whole other form you have to fill out with your social security nuumber on it for the government because people launder money that way, so did that happen at the Wal Mart he picked this money up from? Do they have this guy on camera? License plate numbers? Who do we call in Canada? The Mounties? UNf**kINGBELIEVABLE! Anyway, that's about it for now... Oh! I forgot! I'm all proud of myself cause I made myself a Twitter and then linked it to my facebook and can now update my Twitter with tweets from my cell that, in turn, update my facebook! Hugs, Viv PS. Day 5...

It's all a game of this and that, now versus then better off against worse for wear And you

I recently took a bunch of pictures, and was sent a few others, so I decided to share. This is the sunset at Huntington Beach last Friday night, where I cut my foot on some broken piece of ceramic some other considerate beach-goer left in the sand. These are the going away flowers I got from my pals at my old store on my last day of work. This is Tony's eye the day after Lacrosse Injury #342... This is a picture of Donavon and his family. This is something I saw that I like VERY much! And this is what's on my desktop, thanks to a certain beautiful bear That is all for now... Viv PS. I heard from Davey who is on his way home to pack his stuff, abduct his man, and move to his new home!

Heya... Me too. Love, Me

I'm eating pretzels, in case you were wondering... For anyone besides David who is interested, my friend's son was moved to a Children's Hospital about two and a half hours away from where they live and they are working with him to get his speech improved and said he can go home when he can walk in his own. I saw my friend today when I was delivering her two daughters to her that we had picked up at the airport, and she said his arm and leg still aren't working and that you have to coax him to use small words. The hospital has a tutor there for him, and he's not really able to concentrate on trivial things like his ABCs because he's focused on walking again. This apparently bothered the tutor enough that she told a doctor who then decided to diagnose Donavon as ADHD and called my friend to get her to okay him starting Donavon on Ritalin... f**k THAT, just saying. Otherwise, he's improving every day and anxious to go home, but still has a long way to go and a surgery to undergo, as well. Thanks to everyone who has been following the story and thinking good thoughts and hoping for his recovery and praying. It's week number two at my new store... there is a LOT of bitterness and upset people around, which I get. I mean these people were their friends, and then they got laid off or demoted, and here we come in and take their spots. It's some form of loyalty, just as my friends did for me in my store when I got screwed over in a HUGE way. That said, I sort of have it a little easier than the other new people because I worked there before and I remember some of the people and they remember me. The rude book keeper was nice to me the other day when she founf out I can do books since they demoted one of her back ups... The best part of pretzels is definitely the salt... Went and bought Annemarie a new swimsuit tonight after having to explain why she will not be wearing a tiny bikini and then taking her to see a cute two-piece that has a halter top type thing and a bottom. She liked it so we bought it, everyone's happy and Rich doesn't have to kill anyone checking out his 13 year old cause she looks about 16 and flaunting her goodies all over the place! Two birds, one stone... my work here is done. Today is the one year anniversary of the release of Pretty Odd by Panic at the Disco. Just want to say thank you to the boys for endless hours of unwaivering entertainment. Tony is here for spring break, his eye looks MUCH better now after a week. I think we're going to the beach tomorrow for some volleyball/bonfire/fun/sun. I heard some story today about how he found himself in a very awkward 'Meet the Parents' scenario with a girl he was 'seeing' but told from the beginning that he didn't want anything serious with because he wasn't sure where he'd end up for law school. Rich's brother is still here and still being a total jackass. Rich is VERY close to asking him to leave... that'll be fun. Davey messaged to tell me he found a house!! He said it's soooooooooooo pretty inside and has some snazzy shower with like 30 shower heads or some business that made Rich groan in envy. I'm glad he found a place he likes! It was beginning to look like he might not find a place at all. Rich decided to sell his Bus!!! GASP! So if anyone is interested in a '76 VW Bus with a new engine and a new transmission... FIND ME! I'll close with an explanation of the title... Yesterday when I left for work, Rich and Matty walked me to the car, as they usually do, and Rich kissed me goodbye. I got in the car and as I'm driving away he looks at Rich and says, "Another satisfied lady," complete with innuedo he doesn't even remotely understand. Thank you Disney Channel... Hugs, Viv P.S. Luc- Wherever you are, I hope you're doing okay, and I feel for you, in a way that only people like you and I, and a few others can ever understand. If I can do anything, let me know