Matthew Jacob

I think the weirdest excuse I have ever used personally was on my old boss. SHe called me into work on my day off and even though I had just pulled up to the store to go shopping I told her that my car had been stolen, and that apparently the guy driving it looked like me She ate it up too...though once the cops got called it was a bit awkward lol (thnkfully she didnt fire me =D)

I think I was 8...maybe 9 There was this big party for one of the girls from the block, and the entire neighborhood was invited I had a weird connection w one of the guys that lived accross the st (he was 11 or 12 I belive) and during this party he kissed a girl, and for the first time I felt angry at him, and I didnt know why then like a week later we were talking about the party n we were having fun, but when he brough her up I just got up n left. I asked my sister if she ever got really angry at one of her firnds for no specific reason and she said no. I turned my friend into "someone I knew" and laid it out in front of her and she said "well that person is jealous, sounds like he wants to be more than friends with you" I relaized then that I had a crush...things later happened, but I know that I knew I was gay then, I knew I was hurt, jealous, and timid, and that it was because I liked a boy.

theres this one story I'm working on, and during the first chapter the main character is a ball of emotions from the get. He gets into this god-awful argument with his father and his mother and things fly out of their mouths (in reality what they say is what I have always been most afraid to hear from my own parents) I dont know how I managed to wirte a scene with such emotional charge that I everytime Im reading I can feel the angst and the anger, of my characters, and from what I have heard from the one or two friends who read it, its one of the better scenes in that story.

have done it twice, extremely drunk...would like to try it sober, but I will admit I can be the worse coward in the world somtimes....

I have always thought that the exstence of Free WIll is dependent on whether or not the person belives in Fate, Destiny, or Serendipity. If you believe in any of these (as I do) then the concept of free will can somtimes be a slippery one, given that the Powers that Be have already traced a Destiny for you, then every choice you make has already been made for you. If you dod not believe in any of the thress, then free will exists in an easier pocket, given that you make your own destiny then every choice you make is in fact yours, and not guided by the hand of the POwers that Be to get you from point A to Point B. The third school of thought finds the balance between the two that states that we were given Free Will and allowed to choose our own paths through life. Theres a destination, but there is no set path that will take us there. We will never miss the ultimate mark, but we wont always do exactly what the Powers that Be thought we might do. Therefore the existence of Free Will lies exclusively with the individual (or group). The "choice" to be gay is not one that was ever presented to me, I simply was, am and will be. I'm ME since the day I was Born and will remain ME till the day my body goes intlo the pyre