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B1ue

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  1. B1ue
    :Aside: It just occurred to me I forgot to forsake buying books during this year's Lenten season. Oh well, next year.:/Aside:
     
    Sometimes life just comes together.
     
    I was in college. My friend and I were walking on the footpath to the library, her doing most of the talking while I half listened/half boy watched. I was 21 a the time; that was what i did. And a good job too, since I noticed before she did a drop dead gorgeous blond surfer guy, short too, walking towards us in the opposite direction. Usually, as my eye sight at a distance was already starting to wane at that point, I let my gaze slide right off whoever I was looking at until I was close enough to actually make out detail, but not this time. He looked me right in the eye, and we smiled at each other from across the crosswalk. My friend was oblivious to this half-second interplay, and was equally oblivious to the fact that the light for the cross walk was changing to yellow.
     
    I couldn't have done it better if I'd rehearsed it. Every motion was smooth. I simply came to a stop, and grabbed the back of my friend's t-shirt. I wish I could have seen her face, but the sudden widening of the surfer guy's smile and the years my friend and I had together painted a very good picture. She'd been in no danger; the car could have gotten that much speed in only a few feet, but only a few seconds later a car passed right through where my friend would have been walking. She berated me, asking why I didn't just say something instead of grabbing her like that, but I didn't really respond. The smile across the way had broken into soft chuckles.
     
    We were smiling still at each other, still holding eye contact until he actually walked passed me. I turned around and walked backwards for a few steps, which finally clued my friend in that something else had been in the water. I probably could have, maybe should have, starting walking forwards, towards him, instead of backwards with her, but I didn't. I just savored the last few seconds I had of his retreating back, before turning around and continuing on with my friend.
     
    Eh. He was probably headed for class anyways. And who'd skip class over some random guy you shared a silent moment with? Well, alright, I would have, but I'm known to be crazy sometimes.
     
    I never did explain to my friend what had happened. I just kept quiet, and let her do most of the talking.
  2. B1ue

    Crack Music

    By B1ue,

    I listen to Happy Hardcore, a genre of Techno that my friends cheerfully refer to as crack music. I finally ripped a couple old CDs of the stuff from high school onto my iPod this week, so I had absolutely no problem staying awake all night at work. My coworkers think I'm crazy, since a side effect of Happy Hardcore is that I grin maniacally and occasionally make movements into dancing.
     
    I've forgotten how exhausting it is to be a full adult. It feels like I never have a chance to catch my breath, and it looks like I'll continue to be busy all day everyday until the beginning of next month. And I only get a reprieve then because I wasn't able to enroll in a summer class that I wanted and allocated time for in my schedule. I haven't written a word in over three weeks! I hate to admit it, but being laid-off was so relaxing. I almost wish I'd known then I was going to be going right back to my old employer (and when), because then I would have been able to enjoy what amounted to a vacation properly, instead of wasting quite a bit of with worry.
     
    This week's book is Meg Cabot's Pants on Fire. It looked cute, so I bought it, but it'll be one of the books I hand over to my nieces in a couple days, which is why I'm trying to finish it in between sleep and work. Its not a serious novel, even by my lax standards, but it's been fun nonetheless. The only thing drawing me out of the book is that she's trying a bit too hard to reach out to her homosexual fanbase. Tanya Huff can spout lines like, "he was the secret and not so secret desire of every teenage girl in town, and some of the boys too." Actually, she can do a great deal better than that. Mercedes Lackey can call someone effeminate without it being an insult. Tamora Pierce can casually mention a gay character without even pausing for breath. Cecily von Zeigesar can even say the "g" and "f" words without her characters blushing. When Meg Cabot tries to do these things, it comes off as awkward and false. She'd do a lot better to just roll with her usual tropes and let the readership pick what they relate to, I think. I've not read her entire ouvre, but from what I recall she's not done something like this before or since, so maybe she agrees on some level.
  3. B1ue

    Yet another post

    By B1ue,

    I've been on a flurry lately. Must be all the extra coffee I've been drinking. I've been having it black for the last little while, because I feel strongly that powdered creamer is something that happens to other people, and by itself, sugar in coffee just seems silly. My parents will be so proud.
     
    California living has finally gotten to me. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but evidence that I've gone around the bend to crazyville has manifested. I've, more and more, been noticing that my stomach has began to follow its own marching orders. In essence, I'm developing a belly. Dammit. This horrifies me, because I've seen many, many guys that have "frontpacks" and the thought of joining their ranks makes my skin crawl. I never realized I was this shallow, but I've always been among the genetically gifted, so I guess its just something I never had to worry about before. I'm worrying now, even more today, because I noticed a little something when I was washing my face in the bathroom earlier today.
     
    At the same moment that my stomach feels distended and bloated completely out of proportion, I've lost enough weight over the last year that I can once again count my ribs through my shirt. The last time I was this skinny was my freshman year of college.
     
    So, clearly, I'm not fat. Not even fattening. I may be out of shape, which is why I feel the way I do, but I had to have lost a LOT of weight, and I never have had all that much to spare. But, while I intellectually know I've been basically starving myself up till now, for the first time in my life I feel fat. Every time I eat, I feel my stomach, and this has discouraged me from eating as often or as much as I might otherwise have. I'm leery of even so much as starting an exercise program to bring my abdominal muscles back into the loose line I'm willing to accept, because what if I don't stop at "not gross." And worse, I highly doubt I'm going to be taking in enough calories to make up for a new regimen, at least until I stop being physically ill whenever I eat, which means I'd just be starving myself faster. In the words of another crazy Californian, that would be so not hot.
     
    I may have to discuss this over with my cousin. She's had body issues in the past, and also has been quite willing in the past to slap the shit out of me when I deserved it. Since she's packed on a few dozen pounds over the last year (and the bitch has never looked better, gah!), my new found SoCal syndrome will probably be greeted with even less sympathy than my usual spate of bullshit.
     
    Been reading more comics lately (I've been on a kick--I was deprived as a child), including the Young Avengers hardcover. This, for those unaware, made my list for two reasons. One, it is connected in theme and at times in story with the Runaways, another Marvel line that I've been reading. Number two, it, from page one, featured as part of its band of protagonists a homosexual teenage couple, including a boy that resembles a kid I had a crush on in college. Three cheers for literacy! Seriously, how awesome is that? Since the comic is written by and for straight males, my favorite character is quite clearly the "girl" in the relationship, a trope that has always annoyed me, but for once I'll let it go. He's not flaming, so I suppose merely making him a bit on delicate side can be considered progress enough. And, really, the trope only seems to act as a live wire against my nerves, so maybe I'm just weird. It's probably because I tend to be smaller and a bit more "feminine" than the guys I date, so people treating me like a woman has had time to really dig in there as a source of irritation.
     
    My reasons for reading the Runaways are more typical reasons for why someone would read a comic. The writing cracks me up, with enough deadpanned sarcasm to make me grin uncontrollably, and give me ideas. There is also a particular character that I find interesting. He's a tall, nerdy, Hispanic kid that grew up in Los Angeles. He also happens to be an cyborg whose "father" is a megalomaniacal robot, and he's apparently straight, but otherwise I wish this comic, his character in particular, had been around and available to me ten years ago. Who knows, I might be willing to go by my first name now, if that had been the case. In the meantime, since I am unable to leave well enough alone, I keep mentally paring him off with the other single guy on the team, who is a taller, white jock with a penchant for violence and automobiles. I kind of doubt the writers will go that route, particular with the couple on the Young Avengers and the Runaways already having a female homosexual couple, but Ive made a note to scour fanfiction.net for that ship at some point in the future.
  4. B1ue

    Oh, why not?

    By B1ue,

    A - Age: 25
    B- Bed size: Twin
    C - Chore you hate: All of them, except taking out the trash for some reason
    D - Dogs or cats: Cat
    E - Essential start your day item: Music
    F - Favorite color: Varies. I'm feeling black at the moment
    G - Gold or Silver: Silver. That one never changes
    H - Height: 5'10''
    I - Instrument played: None
    J - Job title: Junior LMR
    K - Kid(s): I'll borrow my sister's if I ever feel a yearning for the pitter-patter of little feet
    L - Loud or quiet: Quiet
    M - Mom's name: Mary Louise
    N - Nicknames: Lots. Gabe at the moment.
    O - Overnight hospital stay: Never.
    P - Pet Peeve: Loud people.
    Q - Quote from a movie: "Oh sugar. You've just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole damn life."
    R - Right or left handed: Right
    S - Siblings: 3, plus cousins and second cousins that are practically siblings.
    T - Time you wake up: 7:00 AM, if not earlier.
    U- Underwear: Boxer-briefs by preference.
    V - Vegetable you dislike: Beans, peas
    W - Ways you run late: Traffic. I drive slow.
    X - X-rays you've had: You name it.
    Y - Yummy food you make: Spicy Garlic Chicken Noodle soup.
    Z - Zoo favorite: Peacocks. They're running the show.
  5. B1ue
    Things I have wanted to say at my new job:
     
    "I am not a bartender. I am not paid to hear your life's woes. Please stop."
     
    "Why hello there! Can you turn around for me? Hmm, you know, tight jeans are in fashion right now, you should look into that. Oh, no reason."
     
    "Yes, I lived next to a beach, but I didn't go to the university of spoiled children. That's USC. My school was the University of Casual Sex and Beer."
     
    "It took me 45 minutes to drive to work today. Again. This will not do. So you bastards will either get out of my way, or I'm about to match Japanese engineering versus German."
     
    "As of right now, I have waited 11 hours for the IT department to get their thumbs out of their asses and let me start working instead of collecting dust. Go tech support!"
     
    "You realize that the only reason you think I'm qualified to be a part of the IT department is that I don't get scared when lights go blink blink. That worries me. Deeply."
     
    "Look, I'd love to give you an exact number right now, but that tends to make our legal department flustered and stern."
     
    "Yes sir, you can do this yourself. You can also perform an appendectomy on yourself using a hand mirror. In both cases, I'd probably recommend seeing someone who specializes in these things. Wouldn't you agree?"
     
     
    And, to show equality, one of my customers really got me today.
     
    "I'm sorry, but my father can no longer be reached at this number? Sure I'll give you his new contact information, do you have a pen and paper handy? Good! Do you have a Ouija board? Oh no? Well, best of luck then. Try he California Psychics Network." She hung up on me at exactly the right time, because I damn near hit the floor laughing a second later.
     
     
    Bad points:
    --I feel somewhat predatory.
    --The high turnover rate and potential high pay makes me real goddamn nervous. Give me a steady 13 an hours over a potential 13k a month any day.
    --45 minute drive to work really will not do. And because of how skittish I am, I'm not exactly thrilled with idea of relocating to deep Orange county to be closer to a job I may not have in a month (week) or two.
    --I'm spending way too much money on food.
    --I was not able to disguise how intelligent I am, which may prove a liability.
    --I hate sales!
     
    Good Points:
    --Guy I encouraged to wear tighter jeans.
    --Plethora of young Asian men in the immediate vicinity, it being Orange County and all. While not quite the same as a tall, muscular white guy in a wife beater, a short, slim Asian guy with a crooked smile can arrest my attention fairly well. Lunch breaks are fun, as long as I don't spend too much time looking inside of Acuras.
    --I'm doing fairly well, as a beginner. While I hate sales, I'm actually passable in skill. And they've made it idiot-ready, so as long as I don't display too much creativity, it'll be hard to screw up.
    --High turnover means potential for personal growth within company, if I keep my nose clean and mouth shut (and eyes from wandering).
     
    I've been reading a bit, here and there. The last book I completed was The Snow Queen by Mercedes Lackey. I got a wild idea about 02:30 in the morning when I was reading it, which I promptly forgot. So I might have to read it again, while more awake. And less drunk. And since so many seem to like Twilight, I may have to pick that up again and try and finish it this time. My first impression was that it was one of those books that made me glad I wasn't a teenager anymore (and if you don't know what I mean by that, you will), but it was liked by people whose opinions I respect. So I may have been too harsh in my initial assessment. Perhaps I should see the movie first, and that will help. Maybe not though. Every time I see Robert Pattinson, I keep wondering why i thought he was hot in Harry Potter.
     
    Edited to add: I forgot. I've apparently been stuck at the crazy desk. My cubicle has been used by a series of whack jobs, most recently by a real doozy of one, so everyone is eying me with a bit of trepidation in their expression. Which amuses me, and makes me a little sad. Because I wanted to put the motivational poster seen in the background of this comic as my desktop.. I revised that plan, thinking it would not ease my fellow employees' concerns that I would be bringing the crazy. Today I decided to do it anyways.
     
    Just to see what would happen.
  6. B1ue

    Vive resistance!

    By B1ue,

    My computer has a virus in it. I've guessed this for a couple days, but my anti-virus software just clued in a couple hours ago. The two programs are apparently waging a lengthy and brutal war across my hard drive, if the computer's performance is anything to go by. I wonder how many spam emails it's managed to disseminate over the last few days?
     
    Since I can't do anything complicated, I'll just write a long winded rambling blog. I hope the key logger is recording every tap I make for this. I hope it chokes on it.
     
    A few weeks back, I came across a thread in the writer's forum about how one weights different aspects of a story, in terms of one's strengths and one's preferences. The elements were style, plot, world-building, and characterization. It reminded me of several conversations I had in college with the other overly creative (but not matched in talent)* people I hung around with. We discussed much the same when it came to music, or how different aspects of a movie could be pieced together.
     
    [in a bit of serendipity, the program I'm watching has an all English cast, except for one boy who is quite clearly Irish. This guy plays a character named "Fearnot," who is a special kind of stupid. Who the hell made that kind of casting?
     
    Actually, to be fair, one other character isn't English. The animatronic dog is voiced by an American. Again...]
     
    For me, for writing, I have to admit its all about the style. Both what I do best, and what I like best. I would guess it has to do with my learning poetry first, and prose second. A good, clever, new style will suck me right in like nothing else will. I read Faulkner, willingly. And Neil Gaiman, in comic book or novel form, is one of my favorite authors.
     
    I blame my latest bit of inspiration on his Marvel, 1602. Well, partly him, partly this yaoi comic I reread this evening. It ends with a two page spread of two couples of men, the first guy having cried his eyes out, the second, his boyfriend, worried and pensive over the first, the second drunk to oblivion because he has feelings he can't deal with, the last bursting with happiness because boy three agreed to be his boyfriend. All four are thinking at the same time "I don't want anyone to see me like this tonight." The artist captures this juxtaposition quite well, but I wondered if I could do the same with prose. Maybe take it a step further, and show instead of one snapshot of time the entire rise and fall of a relationship over the course of three years or so.
     
    Reality set in soon after I finished plotting it out. While technically interesting, would this actually make a good story, or more accurately a good way to tell a story? Or does it matter, and should I allow artistry to trump its message? If so, would this, as I first thought, be appropriate for inclusion within one of the upcoming anthologies?
     
    Ultimately I decided no, perhaps, and no. This site is about a message, a particular message, and I realized that with this story its only real message would be, "Look how smart I am!" As I'd thought I was over that particular urge, this realization came as something of a shock.
     
    Eh. I may still write it. Not for here, of course, but if I ever apply to a creative writing program, I'll need samples, and that kind of literary mindf**k just calls to the people that run such programs. My kind of people, though they tend to have the credentials and talent to go with their airs.
     
    For a change of pace, I haven't really read anything new for the last month. Aside from Marvel, 1602, and that's a comic, so I'm not as qualified to critique it. Damn good story though, reimagining several of the Marvel superheroes as if they incarnated in the 1600's instead of the modern era. Sort of a reverse ghost story, now that I think of it. My favorite of the characters was of course the ultra-pretty Petros (Quicksilver), though the Devil in the Darkness (Matt Murdock, a.k.a Daredevil) came a close second. And there is one line in particular, towards the end, that telegraphed clear as anything that the words for this comic were penned with a British accent. It cracked me up in that horrified way good irony evokes. It isn't necessary to know the universe or the time period particularly well, which I appreciated since I don't.
     
    One last line before I sleep. The program I'm watching? Has a bunch of English men dressed as Russian peasantry and gentry. The blond and medium brown hair with fake black mustaches cracks me up. Clearly, Jim Hensen studio did not want the puppets to be upstaged.
     
    *Yes, I mean me too. My creativity far exceeds my actual talent. It happens.
  7. B1ue

    Sunny day

    By B1ue,

    I should be filling out more job applications, or cleaning up my apartment some more. But it is far too nice a day for that nonsense. No, no, I shall have to go to the beach.
     
    Maybe I'll get the groceries later.
     
    Maybe I'll follow my next whim and chase the sunset.
     
    Whatever. I have an iPod, a notebook, a book, and a good mood. I'm going to have a good day.
     
    Hey, I turned 25 last week. How many more chances am I going to get to play the "f--k the world" game?
  8. B1ue

    Batting 1000

    By B1ue,

    I've been attempting for some time to rewrite a story that I originally started in college, then mostly lost the track of in its later stages. Since then, I wrote a sequel, then went back and utterly revised a fundamental aspect of the original story. I know none of this is particularly interesting, but I do have a point: when committing a revision of this magnitude, check your assumptions. Best in fact to check your assumptions about what you've written at the door.
     
    In this case, in the original draft, the opening section focused greatly around a rather obstinate character whose sole purpose seems to be to cause me problems during the writing process. Draft two, this is no longer the case, due to the aforementioned major change and how it affect the relationships between the major characters. However, I've just now realized that I've been stubbornly trying to rewrite the damn thing like he was still the central character. There are entire scenes I no longer need, but that I've been trying to rework with ever growing frustration.
     
    This has now ceased. Yay me. Actually, I don't really care about this story per se, but I have to get through it so I can go on to its natural sequel, and from there to the story I actually want to write. I'm bored of college age characters, I want to get cracking on proper adults (who, after all, have some relevancy to my life), but first I want to establish their "childhoods."
     
    Gah. Hopefully I won't have nearly so many problems when I finally finish revising my first story. It has in some ways just a major change, two characters are going to be combined into one, but since the two characters occupy the same mental territory anyway, I don
  9. B1ue
    My work, in its infinite wisdom, has once again screwed me over. This is one of the moments I wish I was a little less imaginative, because I can completely understand why they are making the changes they are making, and that they in no way are doing it to "get" me. While the situation would suck no less, irrational anger is fun and makes the time pass.
     
    Ah well. At least the concentrated stress of the last month is over, and we're hitting our natural lull. I can't say I have my life back until at least May, but where there's life there's hope I suppose. I did give up on plucking out the gray, so I'm developing a small crop which no one notices except me. Thank you bright lights and healthy hair shine.
     
    I hope everyone had a happy holiday season, and I look forward to this "cool weather" business giving up and going back to Illinois, where it belongs.
     
    --Gabe
     
    Edit: Forgot to add, the holiday furlough of my nightmares ended yesterday. There were a series of stories involving a haunted airship (think Final Fantasy) where I was: the sole survivor of a shipwreck that turned the other passengers and crew into ghosts; a woman trapped in a time warp created by ship itself, aging decades overnight; the son of that same woman, working to free her from her torment. It was a bit confused, but I wager my back brain was still warming up. Today may be more coherent.
  10. B1ue

    On the heels of the last...

    By B1ue,

    "On the heels" I say when the last entry was almost a month ago. What I mean by that is this entry will be a related successor to the last, so go read it and come back.
     
    First off, I now have to wonder what is rougher on me, a really bad nightmare or a really good dream. The nightmares I can wake up from. The good dreams I wake up into a world that isn't the dream. That happened right after I posted the last entry, and it bummed me out for a couple days.
     
    But anyways, my back brain has once again delivered the goods, coming up with a creature called "Kylonions," named after the first such on to exist. They are humans gifted with the ability to reshape reality with their thoughts. By wishing it into effect, point of fact. They seem to have the same restrictions on their wishes as Genie from "Aladin," but otherwise they can go nuts. The first, Kyle, did exactly that. A gay kid from a small conservative town, when such an abundance of power fell into his lap (the power hits you at some point between puberty and your last major growth spurt), he became an oversexed dictator of that same town. He had been unable to distinguish between those who disliked him because he was different and those who disliked him because he was an asshat from the word "go," and so when he could do anything he wanted, he turned the tables on ALL of them. He forced church leaders, teachers, and even his parents to submit to his whim, and any particularly good looking boy to submit to his lust. Some he used up completely, killing them, but that didn't even slow him down. In my dream, he went from a 15 year old kid to what looked like a 40 year old, and I think that was an affect of being so abusive with his power, not a literal passage of time (since no one else aged). It of course didn't take long before no one would have defended him if they could.
     
    Which turned out to be important, since there came calling a skull-faced person with the exact same powers as Kyle, who meant to kill him. Succeeded too, since Kyle didn't have a prayer of beating him on his own. Perhaps if he'd been in his younger body, or had ever bothered to learn the true limits of his powers, or most importantly, had heeded the warnings of his most frequent lover, who could read tarot cards and foretell a little bit. None of these things happened. The prescient lover was able to make sure everyone had evacuated before the throw down, but even he was grimly determined that Kyle be killed. So he was.
     
    Before Kyle's doom met up with him, my dream cut to another sequence. Seriously, it was like one of those anthology movies like "the Outer Limits." I can half see a title screen splash above the two character's heads. They were the spiritual, if not literal, descendants of Kyle, a pair of sisters. The younger sister had just come into her power, and was being instructed in its use by the older. Several generations of Kylonians had risen and fallen, so the power and its cost were a bit better understood. No one had quite figured out how the power passed on, but it did more frequently happen in pairs or groups within families, and by the time of the sisters there were about a dozen going at once. As I said, some time in their teenage years their power would activate, and before long the "Shadow" would find them to take them out. Some had by this time theorized that they received the power specifically to fight the Shadow, while others believed as Kyle did in his last moments, that the use of their power called out to the Shadow wherever it came from. The older sister subscribed to the former school, while the younger felt more comfortable with the latter. They did know that it was possible to defeat the Shadow, and that once you did you were never targeted by it again. You could still be killed by it, as the only way to defeat the Shadow was in groups. Typically, these were groups of Kylonians, but the earlier few who did not follow in Kyle's footsteps were forced to ask help from their human friends and lovers, with a predictably higher casualty rate. As far as I know, the older sister (f it. Marie) had already faced her ordeal, and meant to help Wendy through hers.
     
    So they began traveling, Marie running Wendy through an ever difficult series of test, meant to improve her combat prowess and make the use of her power something that took no more than a thought or intent. This would not be totally effective against the Shadow, since multiple competing demands upon reality sort of canceled each other out, and it came down to will vs will as much as anything, but it would help. They also met a couple other Kylonions, who also put Wendy through her paces.
     
    During the trip though, Wendy began to notice a certain arrogance in Marie's manner, towards her of course, but even more towards normal humans. All Kylonions knew the story of Kyle, and of the few who lived up to his ideals, and so took to heart the warnings about setting themselves up above the set of creation. Despite that, Wendy couldn't help but notice that Marie and every other Kylonion who'd faced their trial clearly saw themselves as joint masters of creation. After all, only the threat of other Kylonions provided a limit on what they could do, and even that was a fear-spawned habit from their days when they could not afford to piss off any potential ally. Except humans, of course. Them they could piss off at will. Marie sometimes called them "Shadow-fodder.
     
    As can be supposed, the Shadow attacked in the middle of trip. Point of fact, they were in "Kyle's Fortress," as the rebuilt building that had once been a high school and the spot where Kyle's had met his end had become known. Few people, and no other Kylonions lived in the town anymore, which made the sisters about as exposed as they could be.
     
    After all that build up, I feel like a heel to sum up the battle as "they won," but yeah, that's about it. Wendy threw a flash of brilliant energy straight into the Shadow's face, burning it to a crisp. Marie had to be taken to a hospital, but they were otherwise fine. Physically. Wendy though, was more than a bit bothered by something. She'd seen something in those last moments with the Shadow, something she couldn't quite reconcile.
     
    Her own face where the skull should have been.
     
     
    Anyways, that was last night. I wanted to get it down before the details got fuzzy, and this thing was elected.
  11. B1ue
    My back brain has decided that I've not been watching enough monster movies, and has seen fit to provide them for me. Nearly every day for the last week has come with a monster or horror driven nightmare. Today, I was a dimension-skipper, trying with my cousin and some guy we picked up along the way to stay ahead of an alien race that seeks to devour the human race. Apparently, we really do taste good with ketchup. The dream even saw to providing standard movie tropes, such as the burgeoning love triangle between myself, my (female) cousin, and our guest. There was also the hint, right before I woke up and so could provide the most plot twists, that our friend was exactly on the up and up.
     
    I have no idea what to make of this. Still, its better than yesterday, when during a running fight with a black magician I was cursed to barf flies. Live ones. That got in my mouth. This woke me up of course, and only barely did I not wake up screaming. I decided that if such a thing happened to me, where I was reduced to trying to claw out fly bits and still wriggling flies from the recesses of my mouth, I would go crazy and not come back. They shot me in the dream, to stop the screams, which was the correct response I think.
     
    Other highlights have included demons, werewolves, a dragon, giant bugs, and I think dinosaurs. Its been an interesting couple of days. I wonder if mass murderer is on the billing?
  12. B1ue
    Wanted to get this down before I went to bed for the morning.
     
    A few weeks ago, a friend asked me how I could tell I was in love. Or, rather, how he could tell he was in love, but whatever. I demurred; said I'd only been in love the once for real, and it was quite one-sided, so my experiences can't exactly be considered definitive, but he pressed. So the best I came up with was "when he was cut, I bled."
     
    Since then, I've been trying to find a better way to sum up my thoughts on love, the full range of expression that I think of as love. Love is making coffee when it isn't your turn to get up early. Love is so good you forget your own name. Love is a cheap, ordinary gift that brings joy. Love is a tune you keep whistling all day. Love is listening to the rain on the roof on a summer's night. Love is making fun of your sister because she didn't call Mom on mother's day until almost noon. Love is dancing like everyone is watching.
     
    Love is putting words in rhythm.
     
    Love is finding your smile on a child's face.
     
    I have, at long last, found a phrasing about love that I like. The author might say destiny, but she means love. Family maybe, but love too.
     
    "Destiny! What do you know about destiny?" He rose and began to pace, zigzagging around bed and table. "I'm a frigging expert on destiny. Your lady is a false destiny, and do you know how I know? She takes everything, but she doesn't give anything back.
     
    "Real destiny takes everything
  13. B1ue
    I drove back from my parent's this evening. What typically takes me 6 hours, if I hit a bit of traffic and don't speed on the gravel roads (but what else are gravel roads for?) took me nine hours to complete. This was due to CalTrans deciding it needed to fix every section of every freeway, all at once. Tonight, as a matter of fact. There were seven different instances of lanes removed from traffic, in four cases the freeways were reduced to a single lane of traffic. But you know, those I could handle. Those four, plus the bonus two, whatever. Potholes need filling, trees need trimming, bridges need to be blinged, I get that. And all together, they added only about half-an-hour to forty-five minutes to the trip. No, the big money tonight was the entire Southbound Interstate 5 freeway, the major route from Central California into Los Angeles, was closed just north of Magic Mountain, at a spot where you couldn't divert to one of the two other southbound routes (which would have added a few hours to the trip all on their own, so its a bit of a wash) if you wanted to. THAT little diversion added a solid pair of hours to my trip, mostly in the five mile stretch between off-ramps where four lanes of traffic funneled into a one-lane exit. With a traffic light at the end. That was EVER so cute.
     
    I still have booze left, so the head of CalTrans need not watch for snipers, but I've decided that next time I'm timing my trip for smack in the middle of rush hour. I think it may be faster, all told.
     
    Oh, how could I forget. That last half hour? That was due in part to extra stops for coffee, but mostly due to this one town off the 99 closing its sole Southbound on-ramp to traffic. Yes, its only one. I've just checked mapquest. It also had only one Northbound on-ramp, but it was located about three miles up an unlit frontage road from where the South freeway lets you out.
     
    Gah. I need another shot now.
  14. B1ue

    Why not?

    By B1ue,

    I've decided to take a couple computer classes in the fall. It seems like a good idea. I've an interesting relationship with technology. Like all other things, I'm neither fish nor fowl when it comes to technical literacy. By the standards of most of my coworkers (particularly with my last job, marginally less so with my current job) and those I grew up with, I'm a techno-wizard. To most of my age peers, I'm a howling technophobe, mostly because I dislike using text messages. Silly I suppose, but I can't help it that I spent more of my youth jogging than learning how to use a cell phone. I'll probably always dislike entering "lol" into my Motorola, but since the text message crowd pass out certificates that can enhance my resume, I'm looking into ways to tilt my allegiance a bit in that direction.
     
    I draw the line at use a headset for my cell phone. While I do own a hands-free thingamabobber, this is mostly due to a recent change in California driving laws. It is my opinion that bluetooth devices make people look a bit more like hobos. I'm never sure now if the person I pass on the street talking to thin air is actually communicating with another person, or if they are simply bats**t nuts.
    I've decided to copy the poll on Kevin's blog. Because, again, why not?
     
     
    Are you tan?
    Genetically, yes. By my standards, not hardly. I work nights.
     
    Do you use proactive?
    Oh hell no. My skin can fry all it wants. I have nothing to prove.
     
    Do you own chanel perfume?
    No
     
    Do you shower daily?
    Not always. On days that I do not much more than read, I don't see the point.
     
    Do you go to the tanning bed?
    I live about a block from the beach. No need.
     
    Do you wear nail polish?
    I don't think I ever have.
     
    Do you use MAC make-up?
    What is MAC make-up?
     
    Do you straighten your hair everyday?
    My hair is naturally straight.
     
    FRIENDS
     
    Name all your best friends:
    Aisha.
     
    Is the term Best Friends a label or promise?
    Title.
     
    Do you have more than 1 TRUE best friend?
    No. I don't get those that do, but I don't argue it.
     
    Do you hang out with your friends every day?
    No. ON the days I work, I don't do much more than work and sleep.
     
    What is the longest you have been in a fight with your bff?
    When her family caused enough reasonable doubt for her to ask me if I was sleeping with her straight boyfriend. They were not fans of either him or me.
     
    Is it easier to talk to your girl friends or guy friends?
    Either. I make no distinction. It is easier for girls to talk to me, I've noticed.
     
    Would you ever date one of your close guy friends?
    Date, maybe. Have sex with, certainly.
     
    FASHION/STYLE
     
    Do you have style and originality?
    I'm distinctive. That's about as good as I can claim.
     
    Do you own a designer handbag?
    No.
     
    Do you own something from Lacoste?
    Who?
     
    Do or did you wear leggings?
    Once. Well, twice actually, but it was during two showings of the same play.
     
    Is the color you'll never wear yellow?
    A gold yellow actually works with my skin, provided I have a tan. My skin has a yellow undertone.
     
    Do you get fashion tips from magazines?
    Not really. I read them, but I can't say that it produces any kind of effect.
     
    Do you shop at Abercrombie and Hollister?
    Shirts and necklaces, yes. Pants/shorts, never.
     
    Do you wear sweats a lot?
    Yep. I have three pairs, plus three pairs of pants that are as comfortable as sweats.
     
    TV/MOVIE
     
    Are you a movie freak?
    No.
     
    Have you seen over 10 movies in the past month?
    I'm not sure I've seen ten movies in 2008.
     
    Do you have a show that you must watch?
    Gossip Girl.
     
    Do you watch The Hills on MTV?
    No.
     
    Have you ever seen an episode of Grey's Anatomy?
    Yes. One.
     
    What is your favorite G Rated movie?
    Is Mulan rated G? *checks* Mulan.
    Do you like classic movies?
    Meh.
     
    Do you watch 30 or more hours of tv a week?
    No.
    Do you own over 100 dvds?
    No
    Is Law And Order awesome?
    It's passable. Better than most TV.
     
    SPORTS
    Do you watch baseball on tv?
    Oh God no.
     
    Who's your favorite baseball player?

     
    Do you play basketball?
    Too short. Only 5'10".
     
    Do you watch it on tv?
    No.
     
    Do you swim?
    Not nearly often enough.
     
    Last time you were in a pool?
    Last weekend.
     
    Are you good at volleyball?
    Not good. Not bad, but not good.
     
    Is soccer cool?
    Totally wicked. The only sport I will watch on TV, because it makes me drool so.
     
    Do you like to run?
    Oh, yes. Don't do it nearly often enough, because I look ridiculous when I do so. For some reason, this bothers me more now than when I was a teenager, and I was totally uncoordinated.
     
    Are you in shape?
    Not nearly good enough.
     
    Favorite sports team?
    Who that what now?
     
    Last sporting event you attended?
    Possibly high school. And I haven't been in high school for 6 years.
     
    MUSIC
     
    Do you like all types of music?
    Some bits of all of it.
     
    What about rap?
    Ditto to Kevin: "I like poppy rap with clever lyrics."
     
    Have you been to more than 5 concerts?
    Yeah.
     
    Do you like Panic at the Disco?
    They aren't bad.
     
    Are you constantly downloading music?
    My iPod is the single most dangerous item I own.
     
    Favorite Rock band?
    Does Three Doors Down count as "rock"? Probably as close as I can get.
     
    Favorite local band?
    Damnifiknow
     
    What is the current song on your myspace page?
    I can't remember. Cascada, maybe?
     
    FAMILY
     
    Do you have more than 1 sibling?
    Yes
     
    Are you closer to your mom or dad?
    Mom.
     
    Do you like your living arangements?
    My apartment is too small. Otherwise, yes.
     
    Do you wish you could move?
    My apartment is too small. Its location is perfect, however.
     
    Do your grandparents spoil you?
    That'd be tough from the grave. Not entirely out of the question (my family is Mexican Catholic, which really is an explanation), but tough.
     
    Do you have any step parents or siblings?
    No. My dad was the one that worked out.
     
    How many cousins do you have?
    Lots and lots. I'm way too tired to count them out. First cousins, something like 50. Second cousins...yeah. Lots and lots.
     
    Which of your relatives lives the farthest away, and where?
    I have a cousin that currently lives in Italy, and my sister is stationed in Iraq at the moment.
     
    When it's your birthday and you blow out the candles... do you actually make a wish?
    I don't do the whole birthday thing. Haven't since I was very young. I usually don't even tell people about it until after the fact, and the friends and family close enough to keep track of it on their own know better. So the last time I actually blew out a candle on a birthday cake...yeah, I think I made a wish. That was almost a decade ago, so the memory is fuzzy.
  15. B1ue
    The best thing about this blog is that I can post random crap like this and not care that it is a waste of time, space, and energy. Ah well. I'm told my generation is going to hell, since we're so utterly self-absorbed and the only thing we collectively care about is hooking up and chatting. I could respond to that, disagreeing a bit, but mostly pointing out that the system that has educated my generation has emphasized individual self-esteem and validation over actually information, so perhaps a higher degree of vanity isn't too surprising, but hell, I may as well join the parade.
     
    1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
    Grandfather (first name) and Father (middle name).
     
    2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
    About an hour ago. My stomach declared itself a free republic, and overthrew the tyranny of this evening's lunch.
     
    3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
    Nah, but I do like that I can write upside down and with both hands.
     
    4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
    Roast beef
     
    5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
    No
     
    6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
    Sure
     
    7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT
    Nope. Never.
     
    8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
    Natch
     
    9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
    Never ever.
     
    10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
    Life
     
    11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
    I wear boots, so yeah
     
    12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
    For my size
     
    13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
    Coffee
     
    14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
    Skin color and/or age
     
    15. RED OR PINK?
    Red
     
    16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
    Lack of survival instincts.
     
    17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
    An old friend.
     
    18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
    n/a
     
    19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
    Black
     
    20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
    Pizza, but I'm not sure if it counts. See question 2.
     
    21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
    "Running" Remiz by Louie Devito
     
    22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
    Grey
     
    23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
    Ice cream, Sandalwood incense, Old Spice
     
    24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
    An aunt
     
    25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
    Sure
     
    26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
    Ug. No. Actually, Soccer is pretty cool to watch.
     
    27. HAIR COLOR!
    Black, with a few grey (damnit. I found three more yesterday)
     
    28. EYE COLOR?
    Dark Brown
     
    29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
    Nope.
     
    30. FAVORITE FOOD?
    Fidello soup
     
    31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
    Happy endings
     
    32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
    I honestly don't know. Possibly Hairspray, the 80's version.
     
    33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
    Brown
     
    34. SUMMER OR WINTER
    Summer. Skinny people don't deal with cold well.
     
    35. HUGS OR KISSES?
    Hugs
     
    36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
    Cheesecake
     
    37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
    Miles in Love by Lois McMaster Bujold
     
    38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
    My home computer has a Dell logo
     
    39. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
    Didn't
     
    40. FAVORITE SOUND?
    Wind
     
    41. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
    Beetles
     
    42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME???
    Munich
     
    43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
    The aforementioned partial ambidexterity, and I can touch my nose with my tongue.
     
    44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
    Hollywood
  16. B1ue
    Mostly I just wanted to take the opportunity to thank the admins for all the work they put into this website. I've been a member for a couple years now, mostly lurking, but it has been a joy to watch the site expand and improve over time.
     
    As to the current unpleasantness, I won't say that I am taking the Admins side, because they have not asked anyone to do so. Besides, the fact that I have met four out of the five admins, and liked them, prejudices me to look at their words with a little less skepticism than is necessary to make an unbiased opinion. I would ask that all members who might also feel biased towards one side of this situation or the other to exercise similar restraint. The Admin team is not asking us to give them their unwavering support. They are simply letting us know that they have made a decision, and have tried to explain the reasoning behind the decision. They recognize that others might disagree, but frankly those opinions were not solicited and so have no bearing. If they feel there is a threat to the site, it is their responsibility to resolve it, one way or another.
     
    As for my unsolicited opinion, I wish this site well, and hope that we will all shortly be able to put this behind us and come together again as a community.
     
    I also hope that Joe gets over his distaste and starts blogging again. His anecdotes are entertaining.
     
    -Gabe
     
    Edit: My plans for the day included a book and maybe some coffee, but Jesus Christ, the hotties are out in force this afternoon. To the beach!
  18. B1ue

    Back from Texas

    By B1ue,

    My parent's live in fear of me running away to Texas. Not so much the Teas part as the running away, though they are a bit leery of Texans too. During a certain era in US history (which at one point I could have named but now the time period escapes me), the phrase "Gone to Texas," oft shortened to "GTT," meant you had pulled stakes and gotten the f**K out of town with no intention to return. Given my past, my parents are probably quite correct to fear that I will one day do exactly that. I'm not certain why they believe I am more likely to go to Texas if I do run than anywhere else, but in any case, they have spent most of the last week genuinely wondering if I was actually going to use my ticket home.
     
    My parent's fears aside, my trip to Dallas was interesting. At times fun, at times boring, occasionally surprising, most of it in quiet introspection, it went just how I like my vacations to run. I could write a travelogue, but others will and have done that, and with no photographs (Joe may hate getting his pictures taken, but MY hatred extends as far as even taking the blighters), my contribution would be a bit pale in comparison. So instead, I'll list the few things I took away from the trip.
     
    1. Serendipity is apparently still my guiding deity. There was only one slight disappointment to about six things accidentally going my way. The highlight was the meeting of an itinerant British national with an extremely limp handshake that I met on Thursday and wound up spending a good chunk of Friday with. Don't get ideas; I'm pretty sure he was straight--though to be honest I didn't ask. By the time he had hand fed an opportunity to invite him up to my hotel room, all I wanted to do in my bed was sleep.
     
    2. Joe (JSmith) is as hot as I was led to believe. More so in fact, since I had not seen a good shot of his eyes before actually meeting him. I'm not certain that his ass was worth flying 1700 miles just to gawk at, though his boyfriend's may have been. Note: I did not fly 1700 miles to see Joe's ass. Certain people who shall remain nameless (here at least) shamelessly admitted that they did.
     
    3. Speaking of Joe and his boy-toy, I was distinctly glad that they were around for reasons other than the view. They have a lot thicker skin than I do; if I'd had to put up with anywhere near as much teasing as they did, there would have been words said that probably would have gotten banned from this site, given who I would have said them to.
    That, and spending Saturday watching other people gawk at the pair provided no end of amusement.
     
    4. Related to last note, I owe someone I work with an apology. A self-congratulatory and hypocritical portion of my personality was exposed to me. By Texans of all people. Young, student town Texans, but still...
    I also am a bit out of practice when it comes to attention coming my way. A f**king kid made me scuttle out of a room just by smiling at me. I blame that on the jet lag, but it was still annoying.
     
    5. When you are talking to someone three sheets to the wind, the answer is always yes. It doesn't matter what the question is that you are saying yes to, because odds are good they won't remember the question by the time you answer it, let alone your answer by the time they're sober. How are people not aware of this?
     
    6. Another highlight of the trip: Joe realizing that Shadowgod and I, between us, knew almost as much country word for word as he did. That and Joe getting buzzed enough to actually sing some of these songs. Previously, he'd been paying pop and alternative as he ferried us about. After that, he switched to his real music. Sadly, this moment came upon us as we were forced to endure horribly screeched versions of our favorite songs. My head wasn't on the table in Myr's picture because I was crying. It was because the band was giving me a headache mere alcohol could not cure.
     
    7. Sunday, I confirmed I was still an art history geek. The Dallas Museum of Art has a pretty nifty 1700-1900 French art collection. One room damn near sent me into a gibbering fit, and my brain switched into Student-Teacher mode without warning. Seriously; I wrote a lesson outline in my notebook that I keep on me. I really wish my cousin had been there with me for that part, as she can match me step for step in that subject, and it would have been cool to have the notes in her head as well as mine.
     
    8. Drag queens are bigger in Texas. And smaller, shockingly enough. I still think Sonia should have won on skill alone, as the electric slide in heels could not have been easy.
     
    Edit: 9. I need not have sacrificed my hair after all. Even though it is at the moment shorter than it has been any other time in the last year, I evidently still don't look Hispanic. I got the dirtiest looks from airport security at DFW.
     
    Edit 2: 10. I had been under the impression that gay guys naturally gravitate to the clarinet. Thanks to Mason, I now know to watch for flautists and oboists.
     
    I read no less than six books since leaving my apartment Thursday. I took four with me, and bought two more while in Dallas. They were, in order, Mercedes Lackey's Fortune's Fool, Meg Cabot's Big Boned, Lois McMaster Bujold's Sharing Knife: Beguilement and Legacy, Esther Friesner's Nobody's Princess, and Tanya Huff's Smoke and Shadows. I'm not going to attempt analysis while jet-lagged, but I will say on the two Bujold novels: what the f**K? You know your shit woman, did you phone this one in or something? Was it meant to be one book that ran long? Because you've done that before, and did it a hell of a lot better. The climax goes at the end of the book, not the first fifty pages. And if the main threat is supposed to be the culture clash between the main characters, you've done that before better as well. In fact, there are a number of parallels between the Sharing Knife books and the Cordelia's Honor duology. If you were trying to make up for the lackluster sales of your first novel, prove you could do it right this time, sweetheart, move on. Without the humor, it doesn't hold together.
  19. B1ue

    Lou Last Hurrah

    By B1ue,

    I have these images in my head. I doubt I'll use them, but they are there on an endless feedback loop regardless. I don't think I'll be finishing my entry for the summer anthology in time, but if I do, this might be interesting. Anyways.
     
     
    Lou lit her last cigarette. Put in her out-sized wallet years ago when she went inactive and joined the CHoIR, it was a promise to herself that there would always be a later, better time to finally and formally rid herself of the habit that claimed her father. 'I guess Daddy's little angel won't make all his mistakes after all,' she thought, her grim humor shaking loose a grin, despite it all. 'I can make brand new ones.'
     
    Her office door took another blow, one hard enough to shake all her furniture. "Not long now," she murmured, taking a last drag. Lou firmly stubbed it out, and picked up her .50 caliber.
     
    To her surprise, Lou was smiling. Widely even, not the half smirk of the damned. And why not? Her greatest fear was not death, but death from her own body's betrayal like that had felled her smoker father, diabetic mother, and ulcer plagued husband. When she left the marines, that secret nightmare had invaded her waking hours as well as her sleeping. But, judging from the furred claw that just managed to gain a grip on her cracking defiant door, she'd have nothing to worry about on that score. Under the circumstances, this positively cheered her.
     
    So did sighting her rifle at the spot her sniper training said the were-whatever's head would be when it finally gianed access. "Semper fi," she breathed, "shithead."
     
    Four seconds later, Lou's grin doubled. She'd guessed right.
  20. B1ue

    I live...

    By B1ue,

    Getting ready for Texas in a few weeks. I'd hoped to see many of you there, but I'll take what i can get. After all, I'll be meeting Joe, Myr, Dan K, and Trebs, plus a few others, and those cannot be considered minor points.
     
    As far as reading has gone, I've been working my way through a backlog of ebooks I came into possession of a while back. They are all from www.baen.com, a niche publisher that mainly comes out with "Hard" sci-fi, "military" sci-fi, and "space opera;" where these various genres do not overlap of course. The latest book I've finished is of the second genre called The Oath of Swords by David Weber. It's main character is a seven-and-a-half foot orc, though they don't call them such in the books. It's the beginning of a series, so I'm holding back full judgement as I make my way through the rest fo the books, but I've liked it so far. David Weber is a good series author, though his latest books have tended to be on the bloated side. J K Rowling has unleashed monsters on us all by her example.
     
    On a more critical analysis, I wonder about the conspicuous absense of the word orc. Every other Tolkienian race is present, though halflings have horns for some reason, and based on the description of the hradani (as the main character's race is called), they have every descriptive and psychological detail cannoncically associated with Orcs, including a racial tendency to go bonkers on occasion and wreck hell. Is David Weber trying to rehabilitate the image of Orcs by using a different word, thereby letting a reader come into it with open, unsuspecting minds? I don't know, but my own experience tells me that re-empowering a word has more lasting impact than hiding what you are behind a pretty name.
     
     
    Aside from my adventures in reading and upcoming adventures in Texas, I come here bearing a blog meme. Feel free to play along if anyone would like.
     
    The rules, according to Drew, from someone named George:

    Click on this link. The title of the page is the name of your band.
    Click on this link. The last four words of the final quotation on the page are the title of your album.
    Click on this link this link. The third picture is your album cover.
    Take the pic, add your band name and album title.
    My results:

  21. B1ue

    In need of a Beta reader

    By B1ue,

    I have my anthology story completed. Which is little wonder, since it is more or less an edited version of a story I wrote two years ago. But I think I'd like the advice of someone else on this one, so I thought I'd put the call out there.
     
    In other news, I am all better. Therefore, I have probably already caught the virus that cause my next round of illness. Also, I am up at 6 am. Make that, I am still up at 6. My work ahs affected my life cycle more completely and quicker than I would have believed possible. I may or may not stay on this schedule for a while. It will depend on how office politics go, and I refuse to guess at this point.
     
    Finally, I find myself at odds with nearly everyone in my circle of friends, because I whenever I picture Obama in the White House I shake my head and want to silently weep. Not because he's Black. Not because he hasn't even served a full term in Congress. But because he has promised that he will be new and different and people believe him. That's what i find so ridiculous about his campaign. Clinton said it right, the man is living in a Fairytale if he thinks there is a magic wand to make 240 years of political evolution vanish by placing his hand on a Bible. Further, if there is ever an Obama/Hillary or Hillary/Obama ticket, I'm becoming Republican, because the day that happens is the day my party has completely stopped trying to pretend it has a moral backbone. Not that Republicans are much better of course. I laughed, hard, when they complained about Democrats filibustering. Anyone who has studied political history knows why.
     
    Edit: Upon further relfection, I've decided that an Obama/Hillary ticket might not be so bad. It would leave Obama free to remain in Obamaland (which I can only imagine is a magical kingdom filled with radical politicians, unbiased journalists, and where Cinderella comes by for tea every Thursday) while also allowing Ms. Clinton to be his hatchett woman with Congress, a position I think she'd enjoy, quite frankly. So let's see what happens.
  22. B1ue

    Sick. Yes, again.

    By B1ue,

    I'm sick, so screw proper diction.
     
    If it wasn't for the ever changing symptoms, I would be worried that I was simply staying sick, never actually beating it off completely. I also realized where I am picking up these little bits of joy. My second job involves interacting with people that come to Southern California from all over the country. I'm a lightening rod for illness, so it is little wonder that I am picking up a complete selection of this countries flu strains, one after another.
     
    College was so much simpler. We had dangerous periods near any three day weekend, but otherwise the entire town pretty much stayed put, isolated to a large degree from the rest of the community, all through winter.
     
    The real b*tch about this particular cold is that, if I call off sick tomorrow, they will think I did so because of the Super Bowl. I've watched a grand total of two football games in the last eight years, and I didn't sit through all of either of them. That I'd give up money to watch football on television, which in combination I rate somewhere around getting a root canal, is insulting.
     
    My book this week is Mr. Monday, by Garth Nix. Nix's "Across the Wall" series came recommended to me by one of my English professors, so I have high hopes for these books. At the very least, he's a great deal more mature, and faster, of a writer than Ms. Rowling, so I won't languish in agony for upwards of a decade waiting for the rest of the series to be cranked out. I have not finished it yet, so I won't break it down, but the premise, that the seven deadly sins are running the kingdom of heaven after the Creator (or, "Architect," as she is called in the book) is interesting. The trope he uses of a reincarnated Arthur is not as interesting, but I'll go with it for now.
  23. B1ue

    A little black rain cloud

    By B1ue,

    A few entries ago, I identified California's seasons as being: Tourist, Fire, Holiday Shopping, and Mudslide. Lo and behold, a mere week after the last throes of shopping had faded, the sky opens up and drops more rain on us in two days than we've had in the last six months.
     
    I was supposed to go visit my parents this "weekend" (which, this week, was today and yesterday), but tmy parents live in a rural area. An area that is pristine in its natural beauty, and has roads that flood out at the drop of a hat. Not only that, but the snow level dipped well below their elevation, so if I did go up, there was no guarantee that I'd be able to head back down off the mountain. While I've no particular objections to that fate, my job might take exception. I have to be a good little boy right now, so no road trip.
     
    This week's book is Prom Nights From Hell, an anthology of horror stories written by teen and horror authors1. I'm just about through it, and I have to admit I liked it better than I thought I would, not only because I'm a guy and most of the stories are written from a female perspective. I didn't go to my own prom, since all my friends took the night off work, and someone had to take the short straw. Besides, working gave me a good reason to not bother finding a date, and all those complications. Since I was so ambivalent about my own prom, I thought I'd be a bit lackadaisical about this book, but apparently not. See, the each woman took the ball of anxiety that many girls feel in regards to their prom, and magnified it to grotesque proportions, exactly like a good horror story does.
     
    The only thing missing is a story about trying to find that perfect dress. It's their book, so it was their choice, but I can't help but feel this void was a misstep. Oh well.
     
    1Technically authoresses, but I despise gendered terms.
  24. B1ue

    Killing me softly

    By B1ue,

    I picked up today Lois McMaster Bujold's Paladin of Souls. Bujold is a favorite author of mine, so by page two I was grinning, enthralled with her words. I've been reading rapturous, for the last hour, but it just now hit me why I like this story so much.
     
    I wanted to write it.
     
    Well, not exactly this story, the details aren't all there, but a story I developed three years ago opens along the same premise as this. One woman, nominally mistress of her domain, feeling more like she's been clapped into the attic by very loving relatives. She was powerful once, one of her godess's chosen in her youth, but those days are long gone, and now her keepers have convinced themselves that such acts were greatly exagerated. In defiance of all that, with the keening of her ladies in her wake, she rides out, seeking new horizons to find herself.
     
    Essentially, it is fantasy's version of the midlife crisis, but damnit, I had the idea too. And now I can't write it, because someone else has written the story a thousand times better than I ever could. The lady's idle dalliance even gets caught up in a war for the very souls of her country.
     
    Bah. It's still a good book. I have no intention of putting it down. But now I have to rethink the set up. Granted, beyond the beginning the details were a little hazy, based on the closing couplet of Tennyson's Ulysses, but I shall still ahve to work on it. Or I can take the lazy way out, mentally change the main character from a fine lady to the abbess of a monastic order, and read the book as if I had written it.
     
    Edit: It occurs to me that not every has had the pleasure of as many English literature classes as I have. Therefore, I include as a footnote this extraction from "Ulysses"
    Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
    To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
     
    Edit2: Book completed. It took quite a different path han naything I would have thought of, so that's good news.
  25. B1ue

    Been a bit

    By B1ue,

    Life accelerates past the point where I can handle it.
     
    I've been talking online a lot to a fellow Gayauthorite (hey Mike), so I assume some of the creative bleed off that this blog functions as has been satisfied in that manner. Really, I write here because I need to write, constantly, and this gives me an excuse to do so without such considerations as characterizations and plot continuity.
     
    I work a second job now, minimum wage, but at least it gets me out of the apartment and into the world. I'm unsure how long I'll stick to it, as my fellow coworkers are....a bit intense shall we say? Which is ironic, since other people have said that about me, but here we are.
     
    I'm listening to Taylor Swift's "Teardrops on my Guitar" over and over. I think I can qualify it as a f**ked up love song, enough that I can use it as a title at some point. But in the meantime, it makes me somewhat sad and a bit nostalgic. You know, I really am over the first guy I had feelings for, I am, but I still ahve dreams of him on occasion. Not for him, I think, but because I miss the way I acted when I was head over heels for him. And the way I felt. Everyday was a bit brighter then, for some reason. I'm still friends with his current girlfriend, who I knew in high school. I'm jealous of her, of course, but not really. I never was able to make him smile like she does.
     
    On a more upbeat note, I love "Gossip Girl." I love it a lot. I cannot decide who my favorite character is, and the "behind the scenes" bit I just watched isn't making it easier. Margaret Colin as Eleanor Waldorf is fantastic. I've only seen her before in Independence Day, but if anything that recommends her. She's bringing the right amount of crazy, bitchy, and seriousness to the role, and every episode with her in it is a little better than the rest. I also like Chase Crawford as Nate, but he's more on the level of eye candy. Nice eye candy though, he's the whole reason I started watching the show in the first place. But they make him kind of dumb, and his acting isn't helping the impression. In the interviews, he's a total California boy; I can only hope they go with that in the future. Finally, there is Leighton Meester as Blair. This was my favorite character in the novels, the true main character I feel, and she's just as interesting in three dimensions. However, they've been a bit inconsistent with her character, portraying her as fun and down-to-earth one episode, and as a woman with an entire tree shoved up her behind the next (just like Momma).
     
    Well, laundry, work, haircut, and the post office calls, so ta.
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