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Lifesavergreen

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  1. Lifesavergreen

    Chapter 1

    Lifesavergreen commented on J92's story chapter in Chapter 1

    I just had to comment. You really bring the characters to life because now I am invested in the story. I sympathize with Dustin but he is kind of an idiot. Why wouldn’t he get out of the van and go to the police? He has a description of the van and the guy. He would be able to help his friends so much more if he just got out of the van.
  2. Lifesavergreen

    Chapter 1

    Lifesavergreen commented on Ivor Slipper's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Could I give you some constructive criticism? The story is set in Texas but the characters all use words that Americans would never use. Sweets instead of candy. Cinema instead of movies. Lolly instead of lollipop. And I am pretty sure no public school would ever allow paddling instead of detention. I enjoyed the story but all I could think about was that they were not in Texas.
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