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Alex steps in nervous. His hair isn’t smooth as it usually is; there’s a wild tilt in it as if he had been running his fingers through it, pulling at it. His face has a five o’clock shadow, patches of uneven beard around his jaws. His eyes look heavy as if he has not slept. His skin looks darker, rougher. His shirt hasn’t been buttoned up well. He pauses before he rushes to me. Nodding at the nurse, he says, ‘Good morning.’ His vo

PRESENT DAY A steadfast of smooth beeps. I wake a little, my eyelids are heavy. Everything is a little blurry and white in here, the walls are white, the floor is white. There is a small window. I look down at my feet covered with a thin blue blanket. There is a chart hanging at the end. Okay, so I am in a bed. My arms are resting at each side of me. I stare at them as if they were prosthetics and not my real arms. They loo

‘Hello!’ Someone was shaking me. I blinked. I was in a tree. It was still bitter cold, and I was curled up so tight I could barely feel my legs. ‘You okay, there?’ The voice was a rough male, an older man’s voice. I blinked again and looked up at the blurred face. ‘Um,’ is all my voice could croak out. I took a look at the man’s face. His face was aged, the grey thick beard and a floppy hat.

Alex wasn’t happy when he found out Charlie was back. He just frowned and said no more about it but the silence was so uncomfortable. Last few days he had been very touchy with me, always holding my hand, pulling me to him, even in bed he wanted my hand. He wanted to be intimate with me. I was just numb. I told him I was tired and I turned over. He made little remarks, saying he felt bad, he just wanted me and I turned back over, letting him do whatever he wanted. Like a good p

‘It wasn’t rape because you deserved it. Alex is great, Alex is great, you are bad you are bad,’ chanted Jake. Walking through the door, I let out the nervous breath and pushed my backpack more onto my shoulder. ‘Nathanial!’ I looked over to Sharon and gave a small smile. She cocked an eyebrow as I walked over, giving her a little wave of the hand, ‘Hey, Sharon. Everything, okay?’ She tilted her head, giving a

He said nothing to me when I dropped his suitcase off. Still heavy eyed, still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. He stared at me, picked the suitcase up and closed the door. He didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t face seeing Alex that night. After getting in, I rang him and told him I was sick. I couldn’t sit with him, him being so handsome and amazing, innocent. What was wrong with me?

The little barks echoed through the house; there was a rushed patting of small paws along the kitchen floor. I smiled, bending down to stroke the pup. But I was shocked to see he was much bigger. ‘Hey buddy,’ I rubbed his head. ‘Glad you remember me.’ ‘You’ve not been gone that long, you know,’ my dad scoffed, standing up from the table, closing his laptop lid down. ‘Dogs have decent memories.’ I carried on stroking John’s head

The months were a blur, in between still script writing for the comedy show, Charlie and I had been on the sets of our show, watching the scenes and acts all over and over. I had no idea how slow it all was. Watching scenes to repeat over and over. I was almost silent on the show, invisible, but I wrote down extra notes and passed them down. The actors had felt more comfortable talking to the director, Sammy, than me. Sammy, who I had barely talked to for five minutes. When I wa

It had been three days and we were both just shadows walking around the house. When I first got there my dad came to the door before I even stepped out the car. We just looked at each other, tired black eyes, blotched faces, clothes slugged on us, we both looked as crap as the other. Like father, like son. It had been strange sleeping in my old bedroom, well, not a bedroom anymore. A guest room, all my old things taken down and my desk and my be

The next month was a blur. It’s a common cliché, but it really was for me. I was still scriptwriting, just barely, I was going to have to quit it soon to focus on this project. This was supposed to be it. My work, not only be appreciated, but noticed. I felt like I was under water and I had to guess how to swim, that I should have known how to swim, and I was stupid for struggling. Sometimes I would wake up and stare at my hands, wondering if I

He stood there at the airport gate, a beautiful toothy grin blossoming on his face. He was standing taller and held up the sign higher with my name on. He almost looked like he was about to go on his tiptoes and jump around like an excited kid. He was all fresh faced and smooth looking while I was carrying heavy black bags under my eyes and a thick dirty jumper. ‘You really don’t travel well, do you?’ he grinned, almost laughing. In one smooth movement, he swep

‘Thanks for helping me pack the case,’ I said, over my shoulder. The zip squealed as I closed the suitcase. I lifted the case off the bed and pushed it to the side. ‘Leave it there,’ said Charlie, shutting his wardrobe. ‘It’ll be fine for a while.’ He paused and smirked at me, ‘Didn’t realise how poor you were, not even having a suitcase.’ ‘Shut up, Knight Man.’ He pulled a face and opened his mouth to reply.

The phone bleeped again. I stared at the ceiling. My whole body ached, and I couldn’t roll back over again. I reached my hand out, smacking the table trying to find my phone. I brought it closer to my face and squinted at the text message. ‘Second sick day in a row. You have one more left then you must come in for your next shift.’ I rolled my eyes. I had the best boss in the world. Tossing the phone onto the side, I rubbed my face with

It was nearly midnight. Three minutes before midnight actually. Three minutes and I could leave this dumpsite of a workplace. My face ached from smiling. Glancing over, Oli caught my eye. He was stood next to David at the bar and waving over in a frantic manner at me. Looking around for the boss, I then walked over. Crowds were starting to leave anyway. ‘Two more minutes until leaving!’ exclaimed Oli, patting me on the shoulder. ‘How’s your hang

‘Should have totally slapped that bitch!’ ‘Yer,’ I mocked, taking another slice of pizza. I was turning into a guy who liked Fridays now. I did actually enjoy it. Even if I did have to come in on Saturdays for work. I had felt better after spending time with Alex, and I had talked to both Charlie and Oli. ‘Well, she should have,’ Oli muttered, sitting back. He turned to me and said, ‘So, you going to go?’ ‘Of course, I am goi