I am so fu@king tired of everyone making such a big deal about me being gay and playing ball. What the hell difference does being a fag, queer, homo, etc, etc make in my ability to catch and run with a football. I am skilled in the sport enough to play both offense and defense, not to mention special teams. So, do people honestly believe that I am the only homo to have ever been inside a football locker room or showers?
The questions and the hype got so bad that I've decided to change schools. I really don't want to give up playing the sport that I love, but it's just not fun anymore. I feel like I'm some kind of novelty or freak show that people just like to see but don't really respect. What is it about me being gay that amazes people so much?
I've even had girls tell me that I'm not really gay and that they'll prove it. Then, gay guys don't want anything to do with me because I'm "too straight acting." WTF!!! I'm not acting. I have a dick, just like every other male. I love football. I love riding sportbikes. I love baseball. Just because I know very little about fashion and care even less about it doesn't prove anything about me. All this proves is that I have nobody to go out with or to talk to. I have friends and teammates, but nobody close enough who truly understands and it sucks! Last night I actually cried.
Part of me wishes that I wast't gay and that I could just be left the hell alone! If I quit the team now, I'll just look like a quitter who couldn't handle the competition and that's just not true. I can handle ANYBODY on the field. The fact is, I just don't have the energy to keep fighting off people trying to get into all of my personal business.
My real name is not Hayden, that's just my middle name. I don't give out my real info on here. In my real life I've had my personal email hacked, my facebook account hacked, reporters sneaking pictures of me for their stupid little "look at that silly queer thinking he can play a man's sport" stories. Well, I may only be 19 but I am all man and I will gladly kick any man's ass who thinks that I can't or shouldn't play football!