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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 30 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 141
    November 30th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Bonifacio Day (Philippines) Christian feast day: Andrew and its related observances.[46] Joseph Marchand (one of Vietnamese Martyrs) November 30 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commemoration Day (United Arab Emirates) Day to Mark the Departure and Expulsion of Jews from the Arab Countries and Iran (Israel) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Barbados from the United Kingdom in 1966 Independence Day, celebrates the independence of South Yemen from the United Kingdom in 1967 National Day (Benin) Regina Mundi Day (South Africa) Saint Andrew's Day (Scotland)[46]  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Computer Security Day
    National Mousse Day
    Stay Home Because You’re Well Day
    National Day of Giving
    National Mason Jar Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Computer Security Day
    November 30 is Computer Security Day. The unofficial holiday encourages people to secure their computers and their personal information.

    Computers, electronic devices, and smart phones have made our lives easier by making communication faster, more convenient and more efficient. At the same time, they have created many privacy and security issues. The holiday reminds people to stay on top of their computer security and to take steps to make their personal information and data secure.
    Since 1988
    First observed in 1988, Computer Security Day (CSD), is now celebrated worldwide by businesses, schools and government organizations. If the holiday falls on a weekend, many companies celebrate it on the first business day after November 30.
    How to Celebrate?
    Using the same old password or the same password for all your online accounts? You may be vulnerable to hackers. Spend the day changing and updating your passwords. Sign up for a password manager that not only generates random passwords for you but can also save them for you so you don’t have to remember them. Update all your spyware and malware protection software. Back up your files and photographs. If you own a business or are responsible for organizing events at your workplace, why not hold a computer security seminar for your employees and co-workers? Draw up a security strategy and best practices for all of them to follow and present it at the meeting. Did You Know…
    …that the first known computer virus was called the Creeper Virus? The virus affected the Advanced Research Projects Agency Network or ARPANET, the precursor to today’s internet.
     
    ***
     
    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
    The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
    The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
    The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
    The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
     
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    After numerous rounds of, "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
    Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help.
    Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."
     
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    I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
     
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    Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift. The first got her a big beautiful house.
    The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver.
    The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company.
    When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best.
    She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.
     
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    (1923)
     
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    Negro Boys Industrial School Fire of 1959 - Encyclopedia of Arkansas
     
    ***
     
    I got a bit carried away, sorry. I did not not mean to offend or upset any of you. But all these things did happen and so much more. I am almost sure that most of you did not know, most  any of this either. Before any of us cast the first stone, let us check our own pasts' a little more carefully.
     
    sandrewn
     
  2. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 29 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 140
    November 29th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abibos of Nekresi Blessed Bernardo de Hoyos Brendan of Birr Cuthbert Mayne Francis Fasani Illuminata Our Lady of Beauraing Radboud of Utrecht Sadwrn Saturnin November 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People (United Nations)[131] Liberation Day or Dita e Çlirimit (Albania) Republic Day (Yugoslavia) Unity Day (Vanuatu) William Tubman's Birthday (Liberia)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Chocolates Day
    Isdal Woman Day
    National Lemon Cream Pie Day
    Throw Out Your Leftovers Day
    Square Dancing Day
    Electronic Greetings Day
    Cyber Monday
     
    Fun Observances
    Electronic Greeting Card Day
    November 29 is Electronic Greeting Card Day. Spread cheer by sending personalized e-cards to your family and friends.

    While the origins of this unofficial holiday are unknown, it is clear that the holiday aims to encourage people to start a conversation with family and friends you haven't seen or spoken to for a while over the Internet. Sending e-cards or e-greetings can not only spread cheer, it can also help people reconnect.
    How to Celebrate?
    Send e-cards. They are easy, environmentally friendly and cheap to send. You don’t need an occasion to send e-cards to your loved ones – just send a card to tell them that you care about them and how much they mean to you. Make your own holiday greeting card and send them to your loved ones online instead of mailing copies. Did You Know…
    …that the e-card was created in 1994 by Judith Donath in the form of an electronic postcard?
     
    ***
     
    There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?"
    And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"
     
    ***
     
    A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father.
    The wife says, "Oh, that's actually better." The husband says he can't feel anything.
    Then the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it doesn't hurt nearly as much. The husband says he sill can't feel anything.
    The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%. The husband still can't feel anything, and the wife is really happy, because there is now no pain for her. The baby is born.
    The couple go home and find the postman groaning in pain on the doorstep.
     
    ***
     
    A child goes to his father and asks, "Father, how do parents think of names for their children?"
    The father answers, "Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle.
    Why do you ask, Bear Poop?"
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 28 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 139
    November 28th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Albanian Flag Day, celebrate the independence of Albania from Turkey in 1912, the first Albanian flag raise by Skanderbeg in 1443, and for the new parliamentary constitution in 1998. Bedfordshire day is celebrated in the county of Bedfordshire to celebrate the birth of John Bunyan Bukovina Day (Romania)[18] Christian feast day: Acacius, Hirenarchus, and companions, of Sebaste Catherine Labouré Feast of the Holy Sovereigns (Episcopal Diocese of Hawaii) Herman of Alaska, the anniversary of his actual death. Eastern Orthodox James of the Marches Kamehameha and Emma (Episcopal Church (USA)) Our Lady of Kibeho Pope Gregory III Rufus (no. 8) Stephen the Younger November 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Heroes' Day (Sri Lanka) Hōonkō (Japan) Independence Day (Mauritania), celebrate the independence of Mauritania from France in 1960. Independence Day (Panama), celebrate the independence of Panama from Spain in 1821. Navy Day (Iran) Republic Day (Burundi) Republic Day (Chad)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National French Toast Day
    Aura Awareness Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Red Planet Day
    November 28 is Red Planet Day, a day to celebrate and learn more about the Red Planet - Mars. The planet is called so because it appears red in color.

    The date of the unofficial holiday commemorates the day in 1964 when Mariner 4, a robotic interplanetary probe was launched by NASA and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL).
    Close-up of Mars
    In the 8 months it was on its mission, the Mariner 4 became the first spacecraft to successfully fly by Mars. It also gave the world the first close-up images of Mars. Since then several exploratory missions have been sent to Mars to gather data about the planet.
    Today, 5 spacecrafts orbit Mars and 2 spacecrafts - the Curiosity Rover and the Mars Exploration Rover Opportunity - are on the planet's surface. All 7 send incredible amount of data about the planet back to astronomers on Earth.
    Similar to Earth
    Named after the Roman god of war, Mars is the seventh smallest planet in the Solar System. Similar to Earth in many ways - it has the same rotational period and seasonal cycles - Mars has 2 moons, Deimos and Phobos, and has the largest volcano, Olympus Mons, in the Solar System.
    Because of its similarity to Earth, many astronomers and scientists believe that at some point in its history Mars may have been a hospitable planet for life.
    Exploration of Mars has been high on the agenda of the space programs of many countries. NASA, the American space agency has estimated that it could send humans to the Red Planet by the 2030s.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the planet and its environment. Join a local astronomy club and see if you can get a glimpse of the planet. Did You Know…
    …that the reason Mars appears red is because its surface is rich in iron oxide or rust?
     
    ***
     
    I wonder what Edward Scissorhands thinks of touchscreen technology.
    ***
    How do you find Ronald McDonald at a nude beach? You look for the sesame seed buns!
    ***
    I asked my three year old grandson Malachi what his name was, he replied, "Spiderman."
    I said, "Malachi, what is your real name?"
    He replied, "Peter Parker."
    ***
    "Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room." — Phyllis Diller
    ***
    I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
     
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    Frank Woodruff Buckles (born Wood Buckles, February 1, 1901 – February 27, 2011) was a United States Army corporal and the last surviving American military veteran of World War I. He enlisted in the U.S. Army in 1917 at the age of 16 and served with a detachment from Fort Riley, driving ambulances and motorcycles near the front lines in Europe.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The last living veteran of World War I was Florence Green, a British citizen who served in the Allied armed forces, and who died 4 February 2012, aged 110.[1] The last combat veteran was Claude Choules, who served in the British Royal Navy (and later the Royal Australian Navy) and died 5 May 2011, aged 110.[2] The last veteran who served in the trenches was Harry Patch (British Army), who died on 25 July 2009, aged 111. The last Central Powers veteran, Franz Künstler of Austria-Hungary, died on 27 May 2008 at the age of 107.
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 27 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 138
    November 27th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Acarius of Tournai Barlaam and Josaphat Bilihildis Congar of Congresbury Facundus and Primitivus Humilis of Bisignano James Intercisus Leonard of Port Maurice Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal (Roman Catholic) Secundinus Siffredus of Carpentras Vergilius of Salzburg Clovis I November 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Advent Sunday (beginning of Advent) can fall, while December 3 is the latest; celebrated on the 4th Sunday before Christmas (Western Christianity) Lancashire Day (United Kingdom) Maaveerar Day (Tamil Eelam, Sri Lanka) Naval Infantry Day (Russia) Teacher's Day (Spain)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Bavarian Cream Pie Day
    Pins And Needles Day
    Small Business Saturday
    National Craft Jerky Day
     
    ***
     
    Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, "Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town."
    The old man says, "We're from Nebraska."
    Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, "What did he say, papa?"
    The old man answers her, "He asked us where we are from."
    "Oh," replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires.
    When that's all done, the attendant tells the old man, "You know, the worst piece of ass I ever had was from Nebraska."
    The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, "What did he say, papa?"
    The husband replies, "He thinks he knows you, mama."
     
    ***
     
    A little boy gets a toy plane. The boy loves his plane. He flies it all over the house. One day, the boy is in the living room with his plane while his mom is in the kitchen washing dishes. She listens to the boy playing and hears him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you mother fucking people want to get on, get on. All you mother fucking people want to get off, get off."
    Angry, his mom rushes into the living room, takes the plane away, and sends him into his room. After 15 minutes, she starts to feel bad and tells the boy, "If you don't use that kind of language, you can play with your plane."
    The boy returns to the living room, his mom to the kitchen. She listens again to the boy playing, she hears him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you very nice people want to get on, get on. All you very nice people want to get off, get off. If you have a problem with 15 minute delay, you can go talk to the bitch in the kitchen!"
     
    ***
     
    A boy went home from school. His homework was to put down the things his family said.

    So he goes to his mother who was talking on the phone. The boy asked "Mum, can you help me do my homework? The mother says "Shut up!" And goes back talking on the phone. The boy wrote that down.
    He then went to his father watching a football commercial saying "Hell yeah!"
    So the boy wrote that down.
    The boy went to his little sister and his sister said "Lollipop, Lollipop"
    So the boy wrote that down.
    The boy went to his little brother and the brother said "DUNDUNUNUNUN, BATMAN!"
    So the boy wrote that down.

    The next day, the boy went to school and the teacher said "So what are the words?"
    The boy said "Shut up!"
    The teacher, shocked, calmly said " Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
    The boy said "Hell yeah!"

    So at the principal's office, the principal said "What do you think you deserve in this situation?"
    The boy said "Lollipop lollipop!"
    The principal yelled "Who do you think you are?!"

    And the boy said " DUNUNUNUNU, BATMAN!"
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 26 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 137
    November 26th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Alypius the Stylite Basolus (Basle) Bellinus of Padua Conrad of Constance Ethelwine of Athelney John Berchmans Pope Siricius Stylianos of Paphlagonia (Eastern Orthodoxy) Sylvester Gozzolini Isaac Watts (Episcopal Church (USA)) November 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Abkhazia, Georgia) Constitution Day (India) Republic Day (Mongolia)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Flossing Day
    Sinkie Day
    Systems Engineer Day
    Maize Day
    You’re Welcome Giving Day
    Black Friday
    National Day of Listening
                      ***
    A Blue Christmas Week
    Fri Nov 26th, 2021 - Fri Dec 31st, 2021  
    Fun Observances (2)
    Cake Day
    Cake Day is on November 26. Have your cake and eat it too on one of the greatest holidays ever invented.

    Also known as National Cake Day in the United States, this unofficial holiday whose origins are unknown, celebrates and honors cake, the food of champions.
    Used for Religious Ceremonies
    Cake has been everyone's favorite dessert since ancient times, though the earliest cakes were more like bread and were usually sweetened with honey. These cakes were mostly used for religious purposes and in religious and cultural ceremonies and were usually round in shape since they were made and molded by hands.
    These days, advances in baking technology have made cake baking and decorating a specialized culinary field with bakers and decorators constantly trying to create elaborate, gravity defying cakes.
    Symbol of Celebration
    In modern times, cake is seen as a symbol of celebration. Most special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and weddings prominently feature cakes.
    In popular culture, the term cake day is also sometimes used to refer to one's birthday. On the popular social media website Reddit, the term is used when marking the anniversary of the day a member's username was born. Users usually add an icon of a cake next to their names on that day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Eat cake! For breakfast, lunch and dinner. Make your favorite cake and don't forget to share it with friends and family. Have a cake baking contest at work. Whoever wins for the best cake gets to take the leftovers (if any) home. If the day coincides with Thanksgiving in the United States, replace the pie at your thanksgiving table with cake. Or even better just add cake to the array of desserts. Did You Know…
    …that the term cake comes from the Old Norse word kaka?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Buy Nothing Day
    The Friday after Thanksgiving day in the United States is Buy Nothing Day.

    The unofficial holiday makes a statement against the consumerism that takes over the country on Black Friday. In the rest of the world, the holiday is observed on the last Saturday of November.
    Created by Adbusters
    Buy Nothing Day began in Canada in 1992 by Adbusters, a "global network of artists, activists, educators, students and entrepreneurs". The day was created in order to raise awareness about the effects of consumerism on society, the economy and the environment. It was first observed in September, but was then subsequently moved to November.
    How to Celebrate?
    Abstain from making any purchases on this day. Avoid going to the stores - brick and mortar or online. The creators of this holiday, Adbusters, recommend that people cut up their credit cards, walk around stores without buying anything and do the whirl-mart. Whirl-mart is the act of walking around a store with a cart without buying anything. Did You Know…
    …that contrary to popular belief Black Friday is not the busiest shopping day in the U.S.? That distinction goes to the Saturday before Christmas.
     
    ***
     
    A little girl is serving her father tea while her mother is out shopping. The mother comes home and the father says, "Watch this!"
    The little girl goes and serves the mother tea.
    The mother responds, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"
     
    ***
     
    It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
    Father Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
    Mother Bear sticks her head out the kitchen door and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?
    It was Mother Bear who go up first. It was Mother Bear who woke everybody else in the house up. It was Mother Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mother Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper. It was Mother Bear who set the table. It was Mother Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water and food dish.
    And now that you've decided to come down stairs and grace me with your presence, listen good because I'm only going to say this one more time: I haven't made the f*cking porridge yet!"
     
    ***
     
    A boy was going through his grandmother's wallet one night and found her ID card. "Grandma?" he asked,"How much do you weigh?"
    His grandmother replied, "That's not an appropriate question, Jimmy"
    He then asked, "How old are you?"
    She again replied, "That's not appropriate, Jimmy."
    Finally he asked, "Grandma, why did grandpa leave you?" Before she had time to answer, Jimmy looked at the card and said, "Oh I see, it's because you got an 'F' in sex."
     
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    sandrewn
    (sorry, internet connection stopped working,that's it for tonight)
  6. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 25 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    bread Crumbs 136
    November 25th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Catherine Labouré Catherine of Alexandria and its related observances Elizabeth of Reute Isaac Watts (Lutheran Church and Church of England) James Otis Sargent Huntington (Episcopal Church) November 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Suriname from the Netherlands in 1975. International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women[36] National Day (Bosnia and Herzegovina) Teachers' Day (Indonesia) Vajiravudh Memorial Day (Thailand)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Parfait Day
    Blase’ Day
    Turkey Free Thanksgiving
    National Day of Mourning
     
    Fun Observances
    Shopping Reminder Day
    On November 25, get your holiday shopping list organized and get ready to shop till you drop because it is Shopping Reminder Day!

    December is thought to be the year’s busiest shopping season and if you want to avoid the crowds and the stress of last minute shopping now is the time to begin.
    Shopping Reminder Day is an unofficial holiday that reminds people that Christmas is only a month away and that they should get a head start on their holiday shopping.
    How to Celebrate?
    Draw out your holiday gift list. Shop online so that you don’t have to go to the stores. Did You Know...
    ...that according to some sources the busiest shopping day of the year is the Saturday before Christmas?
     
    ***
     
    The Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado.
    He declared, "Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore."
     
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    Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek. Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush, and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it.
    Archimedes finds Newton first, of course, but Newton replies,
    "Nope. One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal."
     
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    At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

    Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth."
    His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
    Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."
    The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

    Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
    The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
     
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    Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
    One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
    "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was."
    The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 24 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 135
    November 24th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Albert of Louvain Andrew Dũng-Lạc, Pierre Dumoulin-Borie, and other Vietnamese Martyrs Chrysogonus (Roman Catholic Church) Colmán of Cloyne (Roman Catholic Church) Eanflæd Firmina (Roman Catholic Church) Flavian of Ricina (Roman Catholic Church) Flora and Maria Jehu Jones (Lutheran) Justus Falckner (Lutheran) Kenan (Cianán) Mercurius (Eastern Church) Pierre Dumoulin-Borie Protasius of Milan Romanus of Blaye November 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Harvest Day can fall, while November 30 is the latest; celebrated on the last Sunday in November. (Turkmenistan) Earliest day on which Mother's Day can fall, while November 30 is the latest; celebrated on the last Sunday in November. (Russia) Evolution Day (International observance) Lachit Divas (Assam) Martyrdom of Guru Tegh Bahadur (India) Teachers' Day (Turkey)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Sardines Day
    National Tie One On Day
    National Jukebox Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day
    Embrace your unique talent and celebrate it, no matter how quirky it is on November 24 or Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day.

    Sing out loud from the rooftops, dance on the streets, paint a picture, jump through hoops or wiggle your nose. Our unique talents are some of the things that make us who we are and in many cases define our personalities and our outlook to life.
    This unofficial holiday of unknown origins encourages people to wholeheartedly accept their special talent and showcase it to the world.
    How to Celebrate?
    This one's easy. Whether you sing, dance, juggle, look like a celebrity or can do headstands for an hour while singing the national anthem and balancing a basketball on your feet, do everything in your power to let the world know about your unique talent. Here are some ways how:
    Host a talent show at work or among your friends and give them a chance to show off their skills. Make a video of you performing your talent and post it on a video sharing website - share your unique talent with the world. Did You Know…
    …that talent was once an ancient measurement of weight? It was also used as a way to value work. A talent in ancient Greece was equivalent to about 55 pounds or 25 kilograms of silver.
     
     
    ***
     
    Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache."
    "That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."
    That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.
    Susie perked up, "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."
     
    ***
     
    A kid walks up to his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go bungee jumping?"
    The mom says "No, you were born from broken rubber and I don't want you to go out the same way!"
     
    ***
     
    There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''
    Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''
     
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    A Favorite Haunt For Lawyers With A Conscience
    We can't think of many more novels (or movies, for that matter) more worthy to name a restaurant after and the wordplay on display here is, to be fair, on point. Here's hoping the theme of this popular-looking bar — based on the legendary novel by Harper Lee, "To Kill a Mockingbird" — continues when you step through the door because we'd love to stop by for a cold bottle of Judge Taylor, or perhaps a shot of Atticus.  
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    Thomas The Tank Engine was living a good life and he seemed happy as well. But the bad company and wrong choices led him to this track. By the way, it is slightly terrifying as well.
     
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    sandrewn
  8. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 23 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 134
    November 23rd - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alexander Nevsky (Repose, Russian Orthodox Church) Blessed Miguel Agustín Pro – one of Saints of the Cristero War (Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church) Columbanus Felicitas of Rome Paulinus of Wales Pope Clement I (Roman Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion, and the Lutheran Church) Trudo (or Trond) Wilfetrudis (or Vulfetrude) Labor Thanksgiving Day (Japan) Repudiation Day (Frederick County, Maryland, United States) Rudolf Maister Day (Slovenia) St George's Day (Georgia) or Giorgoba (Georgia)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Espresso Day
    National Eat A Cranberry Day
    National Cashew Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Fibonacci Day
    November 23 is Fibonacci Day, an annual holiday that honors one of the most influential mathematicians of the Middle Ages - Leonardo Bonacci.

    Also known as Leonardo of Pisa, he is popularly known as Leonardo Fibonacci. Fibonacci is a contraction of filo Bonacci, meaning the son of Bonaccio.
    Date Sequence
    November 23 is celebrated as Fibonacci day because when the date is written in the mm/dd format (11/23), the digits in the date form a Fibonacci sequence: 1,1,2,3. A Fibonacci sequence is a series of numbers where a number is the sum of the two numbers before it. For example: 1, 1, 2, 3...is a Fibonacci sequence. Here, 2 is the sum of the two numbers before it (1+1). Similarly, 3 is the sum of the two numbers before it (1+2).
    The Rabbit Question
    The Fibonacci sequence, one of the biggest accomplishments of Leonardo of Pisa came from a simple puzzle about rabbit population. In his book Liber acaci, Fibonacci posed this puzzle: if there are a pair of newly born rabbit - male and female - in the field and if they are able to produce another pair of rabbits in their second month of life, how many pairs of rabbits will be there after a year?
    Born in 1170 in Pisa, Italy, Fibonacci was also responsible for making the Hindu-Arabic numerals popular in Europe. In Liber acaci he advocated the use of these numerals, explained the use of zero, provided ways to convert between currencies and different measurements, and described how to calculate interest.
    Fibonacci in Nature
    One of the beauties of the Fibonacci sequence is that the series is evident all over the natural world. Petal arrangements in flowers, the ordering of leaves in plants, the shell of the nautilus, the DNA molecule and even hurricanes show patterns that correspond to the sequence.
    How to Celebrate?
    Start the day by learning more about the Fibonacci sequence and its theoretical and practical uses. A number of fruits and vegetables, like pineapples, romanesco (a cross between broccoli and cauliflower) display the Fibonacci series - incorporate them in your meals to celebrate this mathematical holiday. Have children in your life? Introduce them to the elegance of math and the importance of learning it to use in real life. Did You Know…
    …that the ratio of two successive numbers in the Fibonacci sequence is very close to the Golden Ratio? The Golden Ratio is approximately equal to 1.6. Objects whose length and breadth exhibit the Golden Ratio are thought to be the most pleasing to the eye.
     
    ***
     
    Boss: Do you believe in life after death?

    Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.

    Boss: Well there is now !

    Employee: How?

    Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
     
    ***
     
    Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob.
    Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]
     
    ***
     
    Little Johnny came home from school and heard the word "b*tch."
    He asks his mom what the word meant and she responds, "It means priest."
    The next day little Johnny comes home and hears the word "sh*t" and asks his dad what it means.
    His dad answers, "It means food on the table."
    At school, he hears the word "f*cking" and asks his mom what it means.
    She responds, "It means getting ready."
    The next day a priest came over for dinner and little Johnny opened the door and says, "Hey son of a b*tch. There's sh*t on the table and my parents are upstairs f*cking!"
     
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    sandrewn
  9. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 22 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 133
    November 22nd - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Arbour Day (British Virgin Islands) Christian feast day: Amphilochius of Iconium Cecilia George (Eastern Orthodox, a national holiday in Georgia) Herbert Philemon and Apphia Pragmatius of Autun November 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Justice (Azerbaijan) Day of the Albanian Alphabet (Albania and ethnic Albanians) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Lebanon from France in 1943. Teacher's Day (Costa Rica)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Cranberry Relish Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Go For a Ride Day
    On November 22, take out your car, bike, segway, unicycle, kayak, horse or your tractor for a spin because it is Go For A Ride Day.

    While the origins of this made-up holiday are unknown, we can safely assume that it encourages people to get out of the house and take a ride. Go For a Ride Day is the perfect excuse to explore parts of your neighborhood and town that you have never seen before or to take a long, aimless road trip across the state or country.
    How to Celebrate?
    Gather your friends and family members and take a ride out of the city to the countryside. Pack a picnic lunch along and commune with nature. Participate in a bike or car rally or race. Take a ride in your car to the nearest amusement park and spend the day enjoying some amusement rides. Don't own a vehicle? Don't worry, take a ride in your local public transport. Did You Know…
    …that the world's first fastest street legal car reached a top speed of 12 miles per hour (19 kilometers per hour)? The Benz Velo was first introduced to the market in 1894.
     
    ***
     
    Three football teams (Arsnel, Liverpool, and Hartsfield) are flying from England across Egypt for a match in the Middle East. Their plane crashes in the desert and they survive. After days of wandering, they are really hungry so when they come across a camel, the footballers decide to kill it and eat it.
    The Liverpool team says, "Because we play for Liverpool, will we eat the liver."
    The Hartsfield players decide, "Because we play for Hartsfield, we will eat the heart."
    Arsnel says, "I think we might go hungry..."
     
    ***
     
    A Giants fan, a Padre fan, and a Dodger fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Padre fan insists he's the most loyal.
    "This is for San Diego!" he yells and jumps off the side of the mountain.
    Not to be outdone, the Giants fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for San Francisco!" and pushes the Dodger fan off the mountain.
     
    ***
     
    A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.
    The poodle thinks, "Uh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
    Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard. "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"
    Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
    The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!"
    Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.
    "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says. "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
     
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    sandrewn
  10. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 21 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 132
    November 21st - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Air Assault Forces Day (Ukraine) Armed Forces Day (Bangladesh) Armed Forces Day (Greece) Christian feast days: Amelberga of Susteren Digain Maurus of Parentium Pope Gelasius I Franciszka Siedliska Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Rufus of Rome (no. 7 in list) William Byrd, John Merbecke and Thomas Tallis (Episcopal Church (USA)) November 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) General Framework Agreement Day (Republika Srpska) World Television Day (United Nations observance)[25]  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Red Mitten Day
    False Confession Day
    National Stuffing Day
     
    Fun Observances
    World Hello Day
    World Hello Day on November 21 is an unofficial holiday created to promote world peace through interpersonal communication.

    The unofficial holiday was created by Brian and Michael McCormack as a response to the Yom Kippur War between Israel and a coalition of Arab states led by Egypt and Syria in 1973.
    Say Hello
    The purpose of World Hello Day is simple – to encourage communication and dialogue between people of different backgrounds in order to achieve peace and understanding.
    Since its beginning in 1973, the day has been celebrated around the world annually with several Nobel Peace Prize winners and peace activists taking part in it.
    How to Celebrate?
    World Hello Day requires that participants greet at least 10 people. These people can be family and friends, but it is suggested that one finds strangers to greet and talk to. Did You Know…
    …that hello was used as a telephone greeting for the first time by Thomas Edison?
     
    ***
     
    Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"
    The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.
    Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
     
    ***
     
    It's game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there.
    He responds, "No, the seat's empty."
    "The first man exclaims, "What?!? Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?"
    The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together."
    The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?"
    The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral."
     
    ***
     
    The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
    "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
    "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
    "Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
    "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"
    The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
     
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    sandrewn
  11. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 20 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 131
    November 20th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    20-N (Spain) Africa Industrialization Day (international) Black Awareness Day (Brazil) Children's Day Christian feast day: Agapius Ambrose Traversari Ampelus and Caius Blessed Anacleto González Flores, José Sánchez del Río, and companions (Martyrs of Cristero War) Bernward of Hildesheim Dasius of Durostorum Edmund the Martyr Felec (or Felix) of Cornwall Gregory of Dekapolis Blessed Josaphata Hordashevska (Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church) Solutor, Octavius, and Adventor Theonestus of Vercelli November 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which the Feast of Christ the King can fall, while November 26 is the latest; celebrated on the last Sunday before Advent. (Roman Catholic Church) National Sovereignty Day (Argentina) Revolution Day (Mexico) Royal Thai Navy Day (Thailand) Teachers' Day or Ngày nhà giáo Việt Nam (Vietnam) Transgender Day of Remembrance (LGBT community)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Name Your PC Day
    Universal Children’s Day
    Peanut Butter Fudge Day
     
    Fun Observances
    National Absurdity Day
    Embrace the absurd and the ridiculous on November 20, National Absurdity Day. This holiday encourages people to acknowledge that absurdity is part of life.

    Absurdity, which refers to the illogical, unreasonable or nonsensical has been widely studied and written about. In fiction and humor, the absurd is usually used to make a nuanced point about human behavior. Lewis Carol's Alice in Wonderland is considered to be one of the most well-known works of absurdist literature.
    Absurdist Movement
    While absurdity in its many forms has been a subject of study since the time of the ancient Greeks, the absurdist movement in theater and literature came about right after the Second World War. It is thought that many writers and film makers reacted to the threat of a nuclear war by including absurdist themes in their works.
    The holiday is also known as Absurdity Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    This holiday is an excuse for you to be as whacky as you want to be, without having to explain yourself, so go nuts! Dress up absurdly, say absurd and nonsensical things and do silly things. Send absurd emails and messages to family and friends. Read absurdist plays and literature. Some examples of absurdist authors include Václav Havel, Harold Pinter and Samuel Beckett. Did You Know…
    …that the word absurd comes from the Latin word absurdum, which means out of tune or irrational?
     
    ***
     
    A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!"
    The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
    "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."
     
    ***
     
    Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
    The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
    Bob has been missing since Friday.
     
    ***
     
    A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
    He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
     
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    sandrewn
  12. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 19 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 130
    November 19th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Obadiah (Eastern Catholic Church) Raphael Kalinowski Severinus, Exuperius, and Felician November 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Discovery of Puerto Rico (Puerto Rico) Day of Missile Forces and Artillery (Russia, Belarus) Flag Day (Brazil) Garifuna Settlement Day (Belize) International Men's Day[35] Liberation Day (Mali) Martyrs' Day (Uttar Pradesh, India) The Sovereign Prince's Day (Monaco) Women's Entrepreneurship Day World Toilet Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Have A Bad Day Day
    Play Monopoly Day
    Carbonated Beverage with Caffeine Day
     
    ***
     
    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
    Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
    "What does that tell you?"
    Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
    Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."
     
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    Q: What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
    A: They both probe Uranus and wipe out Klingons.
     
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    A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!"
    The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'"
    The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"
     
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    sandrewn
  13. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 18 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 129
    November 18th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abhai of Hach (Syriac Orthodox Church) Alphaeus and Zacchaeus Barulas Constant Dedication of Saints Peter and Paul Elizabeth of Hungary (Church of England)[32] Juthwara Mabyn (Roman Catholic Church and Anglicanism) The main day of the Feast of the Virgen de Chiquinquirá or Chinita's Fair (Maracaibo, Venezuela) Maudez (Mawes) Nazarius (Nazaire) Odo of Cluny Romanus of Caesarea Rose Philippine Duchesne November 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Army and Victory (Haiti) Independence Day (Morocco), celebrates the independence of Morocco from France and Spain in 1956. National Day (Oman) Proclamation Day of the Republic of Latvia celebrates the independence of Latvia from Russia in 1918. Remembrance Day of the Sacrifice of Vukovar in 1991 (Croatia)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Occult Day
    Housing Day
    Beaujolais Nouveau Day
    Mickey Mouse Day
    GIS Day
    Adoption Day
    Princess Day
    Vichyssoise Day
    Apple Cider Day
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Push Button Phone Day
    November 18 is Push Button Phone Day. The unofficial holiday commemorates the anniversary of the introduction of the push button phone by Bell Systems in the United States.

    First introduced to customers in some areas of Pennsylvania on November 18, 1963, push button phones were the fancy alternatives to rotary dial phones.
    Push button phones are phones that use buttons to dial numbers and connect to another telephone user.
    Today, the introduction of cell phones and touch screens have made push button phones obsolete.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you can get your hands on a push button phone, try and install it and use it to make phone calls. Learn more about the science and history behind these phones. Did You Know…
    …that the first words spoken over a telephone were “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you”? They were spoken by the inventor of the telephone, Alexander Graham Bell to his assistant Thomas Watson.
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Use Less Stuff Day
    The Thursday before Thanksgiving day is Use Less Stuff Day.

    In anticipation of some of the year's biggest and busiest shopping days in the United States - Black Friday and Cyber Monday, the unofficial holiday encourages people to buy and use fewer things in order to reduce environmental waste and lower their energy use.
    25% More Trash
    The holiday was created as a response to the huge amounts of trash created by people around the U.S. during the holiday season that begins with Thanksgiving day and ends with New Year celebrations. Some estimates show that trash production in the U.S. increases by 25% during the winter holiday season. This means that American families generate about 4 to 5 million ton of extra waste in just a matter of a month!
    Friday after U.S. Thanksgiving is Buy Nothing Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrating Use Less Stuff Day is easy - just reduce, reuse and recycle. Here are some more ways to make your holiday season a green holiday season:
    Make a conscious decision to reduce your consumption during the holidays. Instead of buying physical gifts, give them your time. Volunteer to babysit or help a friend with house improvement projects. Have a friend who likes movies or the theater? Buy them tickets to go watch a film or a play as a holiday gift. Give a donation in your friend's or family member's name to their favorite charitable organization. Hand make gifts and wrap them in re-usable or biodegradable packaging. Send electronic greeting cards instead of paper holiday cards to your family and friends. Host a garage or yard sale and get rid of all the things you have not used in the past few months. Did You Know…
    …that about 38,000 miles of ribbon is used and discarded around the holidays every year? This is enough ribbon to tie a bow around the Earth!
     
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    One day a duck walks in a store and asks the manager if they sell grapes.
    The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes."
    The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes."
    The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!"
    The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails.
    The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails."
    The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"
     
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    Son: "Dad, when will I be old enough so I don't have to ask mom for her permission to go out?"

    Dad: "Son, even I haven't grown old enough to go out without her permission!"
     
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    A 7 year-old and a 4 year-old are in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 7 year-old, "I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you."
    "Okay," replies the 4 year-old.
    In the kitchen, when the mother asks the 7 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he answers, "I'll have Coco Pops, bitch."
    *WHACK* He goes flying out of his chair, crying his eyes out.
    The mother looks at the 4 year-old & sternly asks, "And what do you want?"
    "Dunno," he replies, "But it won't be fucking Coco Pops."
     
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    sandrewn
  14. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 17 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 128
    November 17th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Athens Polytechnic Uprising Remembrance Day (Greece) Christian feast days: Acisclus Aignan of Orleans Elizabeth of Hungary Gennadius of Constantinople (Greek Orthodox Church) Gregory of Tours (Roman Catholic Church) Gregory Thaumaturgus Hilda of Whitby Hugh of Lincoln November 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Students' Day Martyrs' Day (Orissa, India) Presidents Day (Marshall Islands) Struggle for Freedom and Democracy Day (Czech Republic and Slovakia) World Prematurity Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Homemade Bread Day
    Unfriend Day
    Education Support Professionals Day
    International Happy Gose Day
    Baklava Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Take A Hike Day
    On November 17, wear your most comfortable hiking shoes and take a hike because it is Take A Hike Day.

    A hike is a long walk in the countryside, away from populated urban areas. Hiking can be done for pleasure or for exercise and is usually done on unpaved paths known as trails. The length and duration of a hike can vary from a few hours to multiple days.
    Healthy and Social
    In many parts of the world, hiking is a social pastime, where people get together to walk through forests, parks, riversides and mountains in order to commune with nature and to bond with their fellow hikers. Many cities and countries have professional hiking associations that organize hiking trips around the year.
    Research has shown that hiking can have many health and social benefits. Considered to be a good way to exercise, hiking can have all the benefits associated with walking in nature - it can reduce stress, increase heart activity and reduce blood pressure.
    Take a Hike Day is also sometimes known as National Take a Hike Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take a hike! Spend the day exploring hiking trails around your town. Make sure you carry enough food and water with you and tell your family and friends where you are going. Did You Know…
    …that the phrase take a hike is sometimes used in the English language as a rude way to tell someone to leave or go away?
     
    ***
     
    Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you." He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you."
    In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me"
    The parrot replied, "Yes."
    Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?"
    The parrot said, "Clarence."
    The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?"
    The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús."
    (I know this one is a repeat, but it is one of my favorites)
     
    ***
     
    A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help.
    The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!"
    The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car.
    Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car.
    While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!"
    The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."
     
    ***
     
    A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.
    As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food!"
    The panda yells back, "Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"
    The bartender opens his dictionary to panda, "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats, shoots, and leaves."
     
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    sandrewn
  15. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 16 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 127
    November 16th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Africus Agnes of Assisi Edmund of Abingdon Elfric of Abingdon Eucherius of Lyon Gertrude the Great (Roman Catholic Church) Giuseppe Moscati Gobrain Hugh of Lincoln Margaret of Scotland Matthew the Evangelist (Eastern Christianity) Othmar Our Lady of the Gate of Dawn Roch Gonzalez, Juan de Castillo, and Alonso Rodriguez, SJ November 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Declaration of Sovereignty (Estonia) Earliest day on which Day of Repentance and Prayer can fall, while November 22 is the latest; celebrated 11 days before Advent Sunday (Lutheran, Reformed (Calvinist) and United Protestant churches, Saxony, Bavaria), and its related observance: Volkstrauertag (Germany) Icelandic Language Day or Dagur íslenskrar tungu (Iceland) International Day for Tolerance (United Nations)[34] Statia Day in Sint Eustatius (Caribbean Netherlands)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Have a Party with Your Bear Day
    Clarinet Day
    Button Day
    Entrepreneurs’ Day
                    ***
    Road Safety Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Fast Food Day
    Head out to your closest fast food restaurant and indulge in your favorite fast food on November 16 because it is Fast Food Day.

    Fast food, also known as junk food, is a type of cuisine that can be prepared, served and consumed quickly. Usually, the term is reserved for food served outside the home in restaurants or street-side eateries.
    Quick and Cheap
    Food historians believe that the modern day version of fast food, the kind all of us are familiar with today, was first popularized in the United States in the early 20th century. The burger chain White Castle, which first opened its doors in 1921 in Whichita, Kansas, is credited for paving the path for modern day fast food chains.
    Fast food has always been a part of urban human history. In the old days, fast food was a quick way for travelers and workers to get their quickly and cheaply meals. Despite this, food sold by vendors and at roadside kiosks had a dubious reputation - in many cultures eating outside the home was seen as an uncultured and undesirable act. Today, however fast food has become an acceptable and often times necessary part of mainstream urban life.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have fast food for all your meals today. Make your own fast food at home – it will be healthier, nutritious and cheaper! Did you Know…
    …that according to many business sources, fast food giant McDonalds sells 75 hamburgers every second around the world?
     
    ***
     
    A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him. He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, "I have a parrot that will let you know daily what goes on in your house. The bird has no legs, so he holds onto his perch with his penis."
    Reluctantly, the husband brought the bird home. At the end of the first day, the man asked the bird, "Did anything happen today?"
    The parrot said, "Yes, the milk man came over."
    The man asked, "What did he do with my wife?"
    The bird said, "I don’t know; I got hard and fell."
     
    ***
     
    A statue of a naked woman and a naked man stand in a park at night. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a magical genie arrives and grants the statues each one wish to be fulfilled.
    Both the female and male statues agree on 15 minutes as a real man and woman in the bushes behind them to "get things done." The genie gives a knowing grin and grants the wish. The man and woman immediately jump behind the bushes and screaming sounds and laughter can be heard from their activities. 12 minutes later they return to the front of the bush again claiming they are finished.
    "Well now, that was kinda quick!" the genie says. "You can do it a second time for the remaining 3 minutes if you want," the genie tells them, winking his eye.
    Both the female and male look at each other and smile. The man says to the woman, "Okay great, but this time you get to hold the pigeon so I can shit on him!"
     
    ***
     
    A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician did the same tricks each week. However, there was a problem, the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting out the secrets in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat." "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table." "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
    The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day, the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself with the parrot, adrift on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another, and another.
    Finally, after a week, the parrot said, "Okay, I give up. Where the heck is the boat?"  
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    sandrewn
  16. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 15 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 126
    November 15th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    America Recycles Day (United States) Christian feast day: Abibus of Edessa Albert the Great Blessed Caius of Korea Didier of Cahors Francis Asbury and George Whitefield (Episcopal Church) Blessed Hugh Faringdon Leopold III, a public holiday in Lower Austria and Vienna. Malo Mechell November 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the German-speaking Community of Belgium (German-speaking Community of Belgium) Day of the Imprisoned Writer (International observance) Earliest day on which Beaujolais Day can fall, while November 21 is the latest; observed on the third Thursday in November (International) Earliest day on which Day of the Revolution can fall, while November 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Monday in November (Mexico) Earliest day on which Great American Smokeout can fall, while November 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Thursday in November (United States) Independence Day, unilaterally declared in 1988. (Palestine) King's Feast (Belgium) National Tree Planting Day (Sri Lanka) Peace Day (Ivory Coast) Republic Proclamation Day (Brazil) Shichi-Go-San (Japan) The beginning of Winter Lent (Eastern Orthodox)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Bundt Cake Day
    I Love to Write Day
    Philanthropy Day
    America Recycles Day
    Spicy Hermit Cookie Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
    November 15 is Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day, a day to clear out your fridge of all the suspicious looking, probably living and now procreating foods.

    The refrigerator is possibly one of the most neglected equipment in many households. Food items just seem to find their way to its inner recesses never to see the light to the day again. Spills are never properly cleaned and jars and jars of grandma's pickles compete for space with months of take out boxes.
    If that is your fridge, do you notice an odd smell every time you open its door? Then that is your fridge crying out for you to clean it! Wear your cleaning clothes, put on kitchen gloves, collect all your cleaning supplies and do your fridge and your health a favor - take this day to scrub your fridge clean.
    How to Celebrate?
    Clean your fridge out – throw away expired foods and foods that you haven’t touched or eaten for a while. Make space for healthier, more nutritious food. Have a everything in the fridge party – take out everything that is still edible in your fridge and use them to make food. Did You Know...
    ...that in Pennsylvania, United States, it is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors?
     
    ***
     
    A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?"
    The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there."
    So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot."
    The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts.
    The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair."
    The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?"
    The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."
     
    ***
     
    A farmer is walking with a prospective buyer when they see a beautiful pig in the yard, except it has a wooden leg.
    The buyer asks, "Why the wooden leg?"
    The farmer replies, "That pig is so smart, I let it drive the kids to school."
    "Great, but why the wooden leg?"
    "The pig is so smart it has a degree in horticulture and philosophy."
    "Amazing! But why the bloody wooden leg?"
    "Well when you have a pig that smart you don't eat it all at once!"
     
    ***
     
    Three men are all working on building a house. They go up to the roof for lunch, and unwrapped their sandwiches. The Brunette says "if I get one more Tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and kill myself.
    The black haired one says "if I get one more pickle and lettuce sandwich, I, too, am going to jump off this roof and kill myself.
    The blonde looks at his sandwich and also declares, "if I get one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and kill myself."
    The next day, they all get the same sandwiches and kill themselves. That night, their wives all meet up and mourn.
    "If I had known that my husband was going to kill himself over a sandwich, I wouldn't have given it to him." The brunette cries.
    "Same," the raven head replies. They both look at the blonde.
    "Don't look at me, he packed his own lunch!"
     
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    sandrewn
  17. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 14 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 125
    November 14th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of the Movement of Readjustment (Guinea-Bissau) Children's Day, celebrated on the birthday of Jawaharlal Nehru (previously on November 20). (India) Christian feast day: Alberic of Utrecht All Saints of the Carmelites All Souls of the Benedictine family Barlaam of Kiev (Eastern Orthodox Church) Dubricius (Dyfrig, or Devereux) Hypatius of Gangra Joseph Pignatelli SJ Justinian I (Eastern Orthodox and Lutheran Church) Laurence O'Toole Nikola Tavelic Philip the Apostle (Eastern Orthodox Church) Samuel Seabury (Anglican Communion) Serapion of Algiers Sidonius (Saëns) Venera (Veneranda) November 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Colombian Woman (Colombia) Mobile Brigade Day (Indonesia) World Diabetes Day (International)[32] Dobruja Day (Romania)[33]  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Operating Room Nurse Day
    Tongue Twister Day
    Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Spicy Guacamole Day
    November 14 is Spicy Guacamole Day. The holiday encourages guacamole lovers to spice up their favorite party dip.

    We didn't think there could be a better food holiday than Guacamole Day until we came across Spicy Guacamole Day! The unofficial holiday celebrates the spiced up version of the delicious Mexican dip made of mashed avocados, Guacamole.
    Mexican
    A party favorite today, guacamole has been a part of traditional Mexican cuisine since the 16th century, when it was made and eaten by the Aztecs as a sauce.
    Avocados are fruits native to Mexico and Central America and botanically come from the same family as camphor and cinnamon.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrating Spicy Guacamole Day is easy. All you need is a lot of avocados, chilies and spices. Here are some ways to spice up your bowl of delicious guacamole:
    Add lots of chilies, may we suggest jalapeños, and spices like cumin to your favorite guacamole recipe. Jalapeños not hot enough for you? What about adding some red chili flakes to the dip? Guacamole goes well with almost everything you can think of - so celebrate this holiday by pairing all your meals with spicy guacamole. Add it to your egg and bacon breakfast menu or make savory pancakes and top them with some spicy guac. Make a guacamole pizza for lunch and a spicy guacamole soup for dinner. Did You Know…
    …that scientifically avocados are considered to be berries?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Pickle Day
    November 14 is Pickle Day, a day to stock up your larders and pantries with pickles and add to pickles to every meal you eat.

    Also known as National Pickle Day in the United States, the unofficial holiday was first celebrated in 2001 in New York.
    Kills Harmful Bacteria
    In common usage, the term pickles is usually used to refer to cucumbers that are preserved in brine – salted water – with spices and herbs. In general, however, pickles are vegetables, fruits and other food items that are preserved in brine, salt and oil, or vinegar. The process is called pickling, an dit kills bacteria in food, either by immersing them in an acidic solution, such as vinegar, or by fermentation. This increases the lifespan of the food item and also changes its texture and taste.
    The phrase getting into a pickle is also sometimes used for when someone gets into trouble.
    Consumed Since Antiquity
    Humans have been making pickles since antiquity. It is believed that ancient Egyptians were the first ones to use the pickling process by preserving cucumbers brought from India. The Romans believed in the healing powers of pickles, while sources suggest that Cleopatra credited her beauty to the consumtion of pickles.
    Many Different Kinds
    Today, pickles are made all over the world and usually consumed as accompniments to main meals. In India and South Asia, where pickles are called achaar, vegetables and fruits are pickled in oil, salt and a variety of spices. In Korea, cabbage and chilis are fermented with salt to make kimchi, while people in Turkey, Iran and other Middle Eastern countries pickle a variety of vegetables including carrots, tomatoes, eggplants, turnips, and olives.
    Pickles are also widely eaten in Europe. In the United Kingdom, pickled eggs are a popular bar food, while pickled herrings are easily available in Scandinavia and the Netherlands. In the US pickles are usually served with sandwiches and in burgers.
    How to Celebrate?
    With pickles, of course! Have pickles with all your meals and for all your snacks during the day. Get together with family and friends and spend the day pickling your favorite vegetables. Don't forget to share with others! Did You Know…
    ...that in the old days, Christopher Columbus used pickles as a way to ward off scurvy among his crew on the Niña, Pinta, and Santa Maria?
     
    ***
     
    A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
    The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
    “Onions?” the son asks.
    “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
    This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”
    The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”
    “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks.
    “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
     
    ***
     
    A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"
    Johnny says, "None."
    The teacher asks, "Why?"
    Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off."
    The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking."
    Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?"
    The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream."
    Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
     
    ***
     
    A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes."
    The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!
     
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    sandrewn
  18. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 12 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 123
    November 12th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Birth of Sun Yat-Sen, also Doctors' Day and Cultural Renaissance Day. (Republic of China) Christian feast day: Arsatius Astrik (or Anastasius) of Pannonhalma Cumméne Fota Cunibert Emilian of Cogolla Imerius of Immertal Josaphat Kuntsevych (Roman Catholic Church, Greek Catholic Church) Lebuinus (Liafwine) Livinus of Ghent Machar Margarito Flores García Nilus of Sinai Patiens René d'Angers Theodore the Studite Ymar November 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Azerbaijan) Father's Day (Indonesia) National Health Day (Indonesia) National Youth Day (East Timor) World Pneumonia Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Chicken Soup for the Soul Day
    Fancy Rat & Mouse Day
    Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Happy Hour Day
    November 12 is Happy Hour Day. So, on this unofficial fun holiday take advantage of happy hours at your favorite bar, cafe or restaurant.

    Happy hour is a term used to refer to a period of time during a day when establishments sell drinks and food at a discount. While traditionally offered by bars, restaurants today also hold happy hours and offer appetizers at reduced prices. Usually, a happy hour includes two drinks or two appetizers for the price of one.
    Many countries ban happy hours in bars due to the fear that it will encourage binge drinking and alcoholism.
    How to Celebrate?
    Happy Happy Hour Day! Here are some ways to celebrate this fun holiday:
    Go out for happy hour with your friends and co-workers and get two of your favorite beverages for the price of one. Remember to always drink responsibly. Don't drink? That doesn't mean you can't enjoy happy hour. Many restaurants and coffee shops have happy hour prices on appetizers and hors-d'oeuvre. Enjoy these while sipping a non-alcoholic beverage. Did You Know…
    …that the happy hour began as an event in the military? It is believed that the term comes from events organized by a club called the Happy Hour Social for the United States Navy in 1913.
     
    ***
     
    On Thanksgiving day, a little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting. He hears his mom call his dad a bastard and hears his dad call his mom a bitch.
    He asks, "Mommy, what does bastard mean?"
    She answers, "Um, it means boy."
    Then he asks, "Daddy, what does bitch mean?"
    He says, "Uh, it means girl."
    Later that day, the boy sees his father in the bathroom shaving; the dad accidentally cuts himself and says, "Sh*t."
    The son asks, "What does that mean?"
    The dad says, "It means shaving cream."
    Then he sees his mom in the kitchen carving the turkey; she accidentally cuts herself and says, "F*ck."
    The son asks her what that word means and she says, "It means carving."
    That evening, the family's guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. The son opens the door to welcome them and says, "Welcome bitches and bastards! My dad is in the bathroom rubbing sh*t on his face and my mom is in the kitchen f*cking the turkey."
     
    ***
     
    Two guys are standing in line to enter heaven. One turned around and asked the other how he died.
    "I froze to death. How about you?"
    "I had a heart attack."
    "How did that happen?"
    "Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me. So after work I went straight home. I ran upstairs to find my wife sleeping by herself. Then I ran back downstairs and looked in all the hiding spots. When I was running back up the stairs, I had a heart attack."
    "That's ironic."
    "Why?"
    "If you would've looked in the fridge, we'd both be alive."
     
    ***
     
    Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV.
    Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?"
    Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!"
     
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    sandrewn
  19. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 13 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 124
    November 13th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Agostina Livia Pietrantoni Brice of Tours Didacus (Diego) of Alcalá Eugenius II of Toledo Frances Xavier Cabrini Homobonus John Chrysostom (Eastern Orthodox, Repose) Quintian of Rodez Saints of the Benedictine family Saints of the Premonstratensian Order Stanislaus Kostka Charles Simeon (Church of England) The Hundred Thousand Martyrs of Tbilisi (Georgian Orthodox Church) Earliest day on which National Day of Mourning or Volkstrauertag can fall, observed two Sundays before the first of Advent. (Germany) Sadie Hawkins Day (United States) World Kindness Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Indian Pudding Day
    Symphonic Metal Day
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    World Kindness Day
    Oh, hello dear reader! Thank you so much for visiting this page! Will you please keep coming back? November 13 is World Kindness Day, a day to be kind and do acts of kindness.

    Created in 1998 by the World Kindness Movement, a conglomeration of kindness organizations around the world, this unofficial holiday encourages people to be kind to each other and spread happiness, joy and peace through kindness.
    Considered to be a virtue, and valued in most societies and religions as an important quality, kindness is the act of being considerate, compassionate and empathetic towards other people and living beings.
    How to Celebrate?
    Be kind and do random acts of kindness. Smile at strangers and do kind things for them. Give up your seat on the bus to someone else. Buy someone’s coffee for them. Volunteer your time at the local soup kitchen. Leave a kind note for someone. Kindness should not only be reserved for our fellow human beings. Be kind to the animals and to the environment as well. If you have children in your life, teach them the virtue of kindness by practicing it in your daily life. Did You Know…
    …that researchers have found there is a positive feedback loop between happiness and kindness? Undertaking acts of kindness makes one happy, and people who are happy tend to be kinder to others.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sadie Hawkins Day
    November 13 is annually celebrated in the United States as Sadie Hawkins Day. Inspired by events in the comic strip, Li’l Abner, this uniquely American holiday encourages women to take charge of their lives and to ask men out on a date.

    The made-up holiday was first featured in a comic strip called Li’l Abner created by American cartoonist Alfred Gerald Caplin, also known as Al Capp. In the comic, Hekzebiah Hawkins, a long-time resident of Dogpatch, is worried about his unmarried daughter, Sadie Hawkins. Concerned about her inability to find a suitable husband, he declared a Sadie Hawkins Day, where Sadie chased the eligible bachelors in town in order to find herself a husband.
    In the Dogpatch universe, this idea took hold among other unmarried women, who mandated that Sadie Hawkins Day be held every year.
    Breaking Society’s Rules
    The comic strip became so popular that towns and colleges around the country started declaring their own Sadie Hawkins Day and organizing Sadie Hawkins Dances, where women could break the societal rules of the day and ask men out.
    In many ways, the day became a way for women to become assertive and take their dating choices in their hands. During the time of its publication, only men were expected to ask women on a date or propose marriage. A woman doing that was often considered too forward and of low morals.
    How to Celebrate
    Even though women today are more independent than their counterparts in the early 20th century, there is still an unspoken societal rule that it is not proper for women to ask men out on dates. Use this day as an excuse to break these rules and ask your sweetie out on a date. If you have found someone who you would like to spend your life with, why not propose marriage to them today? Get on your knees and ask the man of your dreams to be your life partner. Did You Know…
    ...that in many cultures, the only day it was acceptable for a woman to propose marriage to a man was on Leap Day?
     
    ***
     
    While taking the interview, the employer asked the candidate:
    Employer: So, how long did you work during your last job?
    Candidate: 30 years
    Employer: oh, you look young how old are you
    Candidate: 20 years old
    The employer was surprised and asked the candidate how she worked 30 years and has only been living for 20 years??
    Candidate: Overtime!
     
    ***
     
    Three doctors are out geese-hunting. A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. "I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were really geese."
    Some more geese fly by & the endocrinologist raises his gun and then lowers it. "I'll need some bloodwork to conduct an A1C and determine what those birds were first."
    Some more geese fly over. The trauma doc raises his shotgun and blows them out of the sky. "What were those things, anyway?" he asks.
     
    ***
     
    Little Johnny likes to gamble. One day, his dad gets a new job, so his family has to move to a new city. Johnny's dad thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling." He calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow, but he likes to gamble, so you'll have to keep an eye on him."
    The teacher says, "Okay," because she can handle it.
    The next day, Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "Hi, my name is Johnny."
    She says, "Yes, I know who you are."
    Johnny smiles and says, "I bet you $10 you've got a mole on your butt."
    The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem, so she takes him up on the bet. She pulls her pants down, shows him her butt, and there is no mole.
    That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost $10 to the teacher and explains why.
    His dad calls the teacher and says, "Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost."
    The teacher says, "Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem."
    Johnny's dad laughs and says, "No you didn't, he bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your ass before the day was over."
     
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    Woman with the longest fingernails in the world breaks them all in a car crash
     
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    sandrewn
  20. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 11 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 122
    November 11th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Birthday of King Jigme Singye Wangchuck (Bhutan) Children's Day (Croatia) Christian feast day: Bartholomew of Grottaferrata Martin of Tours (Roman Catholic Church), and its related observances. Menas Mercurius (Coptic) Søren Kierkegaard (Lutheran Church) Theodore the Studite November 11 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) End of World War I-related observances: Armistice Day (New Zealand, France, Belgium and Serbia) National Independence Day (Poland), commemorates the anniversary of Poland's assumption of independent statehood in 1918 Remembrance Day (United Kingdom and the Commonwealth of Nations, including Australia and Canada) Veterans Day, called Armistice Day until 1954, when it was rededicated to honor American military (Army, Navy, Marine, and Air Force) veterans. (United States) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Angola from Portugal in 1975. Independence of Cartagena (Colombia) Lāčplēsis Day, celebrates the victory over the Bermontians at the Battle of Riga in 1919. (Latvia) Opening of carnival ("Karneval"/"Fasching"), on 11-11, at 11:11. (Germany, the Netherlands, and other countries) National Education Day (India) Republic Day (Maldives) Singles' Day (China) St. Martin's Day (Sint Maarten, Kingdom of the Netherlands) Women's Day (Belgium) Pepero Day (South Korea)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Sundae Day
    Social Enterprise Day
    Pocky Day
    Singles Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Origami Day
    November 11 is Origami Day. First observed in Japan, the unofficial holiday honors the ancient Japanese art of creating intricate objects and complex shapes out of square pieces of paper.

    Origami, which comes from the Japanese words, ori meaning folding, and kami meaning paper, originated in Japan in the 6 century, though for a long period of time the art was preserved for religious ceremonies. By the 17th century, origami had become mainstream in Japanese society and was being used for decorative and ceremonial purposes. In recent years, origami has become popular with origami societies and competitions springing up all around the world.
    No Instruments
    While traditionally origami only involves folding paper and cannot include the use of any scissors or knives, modern-day origami artists do not make any distinction between sculptures that are made just by folding paper and kirigami – a variation of origami that creates models by cutting and gluing together paper.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have never tried origami, maybe today is the day to learn? Start with the crane - one of the most recognized origami models around the world. If you already know origami, use today to start learning a new origami technique or working on a new, complex model. Did You Know…
    …that Origami Day also coincides with the day in 1918 when World War One ended?
     
    ***
     
    Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes.
    Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?"
    "Playing a game," the boy replied.
    "What is your name?" the officer questioned.
    "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired,
    "Are you looking for trouble?!"
    The boy replied, "Why, yes."
     
    *** 
     
    There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream.
    "You might want to write it down," she said.
    The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream."
    She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him,
    and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream."
    Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband
    and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top."
    So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon.
    The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"
     
    ***
     
    Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
    A: Big hands.
     
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    sandrewn
     
  21. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 10 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 121
    November 10th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adelin of Séez Áed mac Bricc Andrew Avellino Baudolino Elaeth Grellan Justus Lübeck martyrs Pope Leo I Theoctiste Tryphena of Rome November 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Cry of Independence Day (Panama) Day of Remembrance of Atatürk (Turkey) Day of Russian Militsiya (Russia) Day of Tradition or Día de la Tradición, celebrated on the birthday of José Hernández (Argentina, especially San Antonio de Areco) Heroes Day (Indonesia) or Hari Pahlawan Martinisingen (Germany) United States Marine Corps birthday (United States)[36] World Keratoconus Day[37][38]  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Sesame Street Day
    Top Up Day
    Area Code Day
    ***
    Benjamin Banneker Week
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Forget Me Not Day
    November 10 is Forget Me Not Day. All of us have people in our lives that we care about but are bad about keeping in touch with.

    Forget Me Not Day is an unofficial holiday that encourages people to try and reconnect with all those they may not be in touch with anymore.
    It is not clear who created this holiday, which is also called National Forget Me Not Day in the U.S.
    Alzheimer's Association
    In New Zealand, a similar holiday called Forget Me Not Days has been observed on June 5 and 6 every year since 2003. Started by two bank insurances as a way to fun raise for the Alzheimer's Association.
    How to Celebrate?
    Try and contact your long lost friends on social media websites and get talking with them. Send them a note saying that even though you haven’t been in touch you still miss them and care about them. Send forget me not flowers to your loved ones as a way to tell them how much they mean to you. Did You Know…
    …that in some cultures, forget-me-not flowers are used to remember those who die in a war?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Vanilla Cupcake Day
    November 10 is Vanilla Cupcake Day, an annual excuse to bake and consume copious amounts of the delicious dessert.

    The unofficial holiday is also known as National Vanilla Cupcake Day in the United States.
    Fairy Cakes
    Vanilla cupcakes are single serving cakes that are made by adding vanilla essence or extract to the cake batter and to the icing or any topping. Thought to have been invented in the US, cupcakes got their name from being baked in cup-shaped molds. In the United Kingdom, they are known as fairy cakes, while in some parts of Australia, cupcakes are called patty cakes.
    Second Most Expensive Spice
    A native plant of Mexico, vanilla is a flavor that is extracted from the seed pods of the Vanilla orchid. Considered to be one of the most expensive spices in the world, second only to saffron, it was first cultivated by the Totonac people on Mexico's eastern coast. The spice was then introduced to Europe by the Spanish in the 16th century by Spaniard, Hernán Cortés, who is also credited for bringing chocolate to Europe. Rumor has it, that it was Thomas Jefferson who brought vanilla from France to America in the late 1800s after he was treated to vanilla flavored ice cream in Paris.
    Until late 19th century, Mexico produced almost all of the world's vanilla. Today, however, it only produces about 10% of the total world production of the spice. Madagascar and Indonesia now produce the bulk of the world's vanilla.
    Plain Vanilla
    Despite the expense associated with it, vanilla is one of the most sought-after flavors in the world. Today, it is used in a variety of food items, including cakes, ice creams, and drinks; and products like perfumes and candles, even though it is considered to be one of the plainest flavor available – the term plain vanilla is often used to refer to things that are very basic and ordinary.
    How to Celebrate?
    Bust out your baking supplies and back some delicious vanilla cupcakes. Don't forget to share with family, friends, and co-workers. Gourmet up your vanilla cupcakes by adding bacon or bourbon or beer to the batter or the icing. Prefer chocolate instead? Just wait for 11 months, and you'll be able to celebrate Chocolate Cupcake Day on October 18. Did You Know…
    ...that vanilla is the only fruit-bearing and edible orchid in the world?
     
    ***
     
    Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
    Student: "Meat!"
    Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
    Student: "Bacon!"
    Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
    Student: "Homework!"
     
    ***
     
    A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
    So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
    The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
    The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"
    His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
     
    ***
     
    Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
    Johnny: "Seven."
    Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
    Johnny: "Seven."
    Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
    Johnny: "Six."
    Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
    Johnny: "Seven!"
    Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
    Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
     
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    sandrewn
  22. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 09 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 120
    November 9th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Birthday of Muhammad Iqbal (Pakistan) Christian feast day: Benignus of Armagh Dedication of the Archbasilica of St. John Lateran, Cathedral of the Pope (memorial feast day) Margery Kempe (Church of England) Martin Chemnitz (Lutheran) Nectarios of Aegina[36] Theodore of Amasea (Roman Catholic Church) Virgin of Almudena (Madrid)[37] Vitonus November 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Skulls or Dia de los ñatitas (Bolivia) Flag Day (Azerbaijan) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Cambodia from France in 1953. Inventors' Day (Germany, Austria, Switzerland) Uttarakhand Day (Uttarakhand, India) World Freedom Day (United States)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Chaos Never Dies Day
    Scrapple Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Chaos Never Dies Day
    Feel like your life sometimes spirals into a chaotic mess? Then Chaos Never Dies Day on November 9 is the holiday for you.

    This made-up holiday encourages people to realize that chaos is part of life and that it will never die. So instead of getting hassled by it, just take a deep breath and let go of things that create chaos in your life on this day.
    Chaos Never Dies Day is also known as National Chaos Never Dies Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take the day for yourself and do things that de-stress you. Pack your lunch and go for a picnic in the park with your loved ones. Watch a feel good movie or read a book. Take a nap in the middle of the day and remember chaos never dies, so it can wait to hassle you for one more day. Did You Know…
    …that chaos theory, which is the study of dynamic systems can be applied to many fields of study including mathematics, biology, meteorology and philosophy?
     
    ***
     
    Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn't come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? "Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch."
     
    ***
     
    Guy calls in to his Boss:
    Worker: I can't come to work today. I'm sick
    Boss: Oh yea! What's wrong with you now?
    Worker: I have anal glaucoma.
    Boss: What the hell is that?
    Worker: I just can't see my ass working today.
     
    ***
     
    While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple.
    “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them.
    “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.”
     
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    sandrewn
  23. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 08 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 119
    November 8th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity (Roman Catholic Church) Four Crowned Martyrs Godfrey of Amiens Johann von Staupitz (Lutheran) Blessed John Duns Scotus Saints and Martyrs of England (Church of England) Tysilio Willehad of Bremen November 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Intersex Day of Remembrance (New South Wales, Australia) International Day of Radiology (European Society of Radiology) National Aboriginal Veterans Day (Canada) Synaxis of the Archangel Michael and the other Bodiless Powers of Heaven (Eastern Orthodox Church) World Urbanism Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    World Orphans Day
    World Quality Day
    Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day
    X-Ray Day
    Harvey Wallbanger Day
    Cappuccino Day
                 ***
    Talk Money Week
    Human-Animal Relationship Awareness Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Tongue Twister Day
    Say, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers ten times really fast on November 8, because it is Tongue Twister Day!

    A tongue twister is a phrase that is very hard for people to articulate, especially when spoken in a sequence really fast.
    Finger Fumblers
    Most languages, including sign language have their own versions of tongue twisters. In sign language, they are known as finger fumblers. In many cultures, children usually use them as word games.
    Tongue twisters tend to rely on using similar sounding words that aliterate. That means that the first letters or sounds in the words are the same.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have a tongue twister contest with family, friends and co-workers. Whoever is able to say out a tongue twister without making mistakes wins. Make up your own tongue twister. Did You Know…
    …that she sells sea-shells on the sea-shore is a popular tongue twister that comes from a poem written by British songwriter Terry Sullivan and was based on the life of Mary Anning, a British fossil collector who was known to scout the beaches for fossils?
     
    ***
     
    THREE TREES AND A WOODPECKER
    Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

    The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

    The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into."
     
    ***
     
    You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!
     
    ***
     
    An elephant and a camel are talking.
    The elephant asks, "Why do you have boobs on your back?"
    The camel replies, "Ha! That's a funny question coming from an animal with a penis hanging from his face."
     
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    sandrewn
  24. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 07 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 118
    November 7th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: All Dominican Saints and Blesseds Bartholomäus Ziegenbalg (Lutheran) Engelbert II of Berg Herculanus of Perugia John Christian Frederick Heyer (Lutheran) Ludwig Ingwer Nommensen (Lutheran) Prosdocimus Vicente Liem de la Paz (one of Vietnamese Martyrs) Willibrord November 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commemoration Day, the anniversary of Ben Ali's succession. (Tunisia) Hungarian Opera Day (Hungary) International Inuit Day[26] National Day, after Treaty of the Pyrenees. (Northern Catalonia, France) National Revolution and Solidarity Day (Bangladesh) October Revolution Day (the Soviet Union (former, official), modern Belarus, Kyrgyzstan) Tokhu Emong (Lotha Naga people of India)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Orphan Sunday
    Hug A Bear Day
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Zero Tasking Day
    The first Sunday of November is not only the end of the Daylight Saving Time period in the United States, it is also Zero Tasking Day.

    The unofficial holiday encourages people to take it easy, give up multitasking for a day and well, do no tasks.
    How to Celebrate?
    Do nothing and just relax. Enjoy the extra hour you get because of the end of DST by taking a leisurely walk in the park or drinking coffee or tea while people watching at the mall. Did You Know…
    …that contrary to popular belief the correct grammatical term is Daylight Saving Time, not Daylight Savings Time?
     
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    Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day
    It's healthy, it's delicious and it's an easy-to-make, go-to snack. Celebrate almonds covered with sweet and bitter dark chocolate on November 7 or Bittersweet Chocolate With Almond Day.

    Made by dipping or rolling sautéed, roasted or caramelized almonds in melted chocolate, chocolate covered almonds were popular among the wealthy in the 18th century. Today, they are a quick snack perfect to take with on a hike, at a picnic or while on the go.
    Ancient Nuts
    Native to the Middle East and South Asia, almonds have been consumed by humans since ancient times. Archaeological evidence has shown that the almond fruit and nut was buried with Tutankhamun (King Tut) around 1300 BCE.
    Today, almonds are grown and used in cuisine all around the world. The United States is the world's largest producer of the nuts, with the state of California taking the lion share's of all the almonds exported by the country.
    Technically a drupe - a fruit with a fleshy body and hard seed - almonds are rich in Vitamins B and E and many essential minerals.
    Best for Baking
    Bittersweet chocolate is at least 35% chocolate liquor mixed with a minimal amount of sugar. In many parts of the world, it is also known as dark chocolate or semisweet chocolate. Bittersweet chocolate is used primarily for cooking and baking.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make your own bittersweet chocolate coated almonds. Experiment with flavors of this healthy snack - maybe add some cayenne pepper to give it a Mexican twist or use some rose essence and cardamom to make some Middle Eastern inspired bittersweet chocolate with almonds. Don't forget to share with family, friends and co-workers. Get creative. You don't just have to make bittersweet chocolate coated almonds to celebrate this fun food holiday. Instead, why not whip up a dessert that has both almonds and bittersweet chocolate. May we recommend a chocolate ice cream with caramelized almonds or an almond chocolate cake? Did You Know…
    …that wild almonds can kill you? The bitter version of the nut contains a high dosage of cyanide and eating a handful can prove fatal. But rest easy, the almonds you get from the stores and for food preparation are the harmless sweet, domestic variety
     
    ***
     
    Q: If you're American when you go in the bathroom and American when you come out, What are you in the bathroom?
    A: European.
     
    ***
     
    Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
    10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
     
    ***
     
    A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. 
    “That’s one too many!” says the customer.
    The clerk replies “It’s a freebie.” 
     
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    sandrewn
  25. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 06 Nov

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 117
    November 6th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Barlaam of Khutyn[149] Demetrian[150] Illtud[151] Leonard of Noblac[152] Melaine of Rennes[153] Winnoc[154] November 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Gustavus Adolphus Day[155] (in Sweden, Finland and Estonia) Finnish Swedish Heritage Day[156][157] (in Finland) International Day for Preventing the Exploitation of the Environment in War and Armed Conflict[158]  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Nachos Day
    Numbat Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Saxophone Day
    November 6 is Saxophone Day, an unofficial holiday that celebrates the woodwind instrument popularly used in jazz, classical music, and military ensembles.

    The day honors saxophonists and commemorates the birth anniversary of its inventor Adolphe Sax. Born in Belgium in 1814, Sax was an instrument maker and musician who designed and introduced the Saxophone in 1840.
    Used Extensively
    It was first adopted for use in military bands and soon became a popular instrument played in a concert band and in chamber music. Chamber music is a type of music played by a group of small instruments - ones that usually can fit into a small room or chamber.
    Today, the Saxophone is used extensively in jazz and other kinds of dance music and in symphony orchestras around the world.
    Many Different Types
    The Saxophone comes in many different varieties, though most saxophonists usually use one of the four most popular types. These are tenor, baritone, alto, and soprano saxophones. The tenor saxophone is usually used in jazz and rock music bands, while the baritone saxophone tends to be reserved for jazz solos. The Alto Saxophone is easy to play and therefore used to train beginners. The Soprano plays the highest pitch among all saxophones and is also often played in jazz bands.
    Other saxophones include Mezzo Soprano, Sopranino, Tubax, Bass and Contrabass.
    World Saxophone Day
    In 2015, the Sax Open Project, a group of music composers and saxophonists declared June 12 as the first annual World Saxophone Day. The day is part of the week long World Saxophone Congress and Festival.
    How to Celebrate?
    Are you a saxophonist? Bring out your instrument and play some music with a band or solo for your family and friends. Attend a chamber music, jazz or symphony orchestra concert. Keep an ear out for the Saxophone notes. If you have always wanted to learn how to play the Saxophone, today is the day to get started. Did You Know…
    …that Adolphe Sax was also responsible for inventing the Saxhorn, Saxotromba, and the Saxtuba?
     
    ***
     
    Scene: My cousin Matt and his daughter at Chick-fil-A.
    Matt: Can I please get a four-piece kids’ meal with white milk. [Pause] Oh, and gimme an extra white milk.
    Clerk: Um … We only have one kind of milk, and it’s pretty white.
     
    ***
     
    I was looking at the pies offered by a nearby café. They had cherry, apple, berry, peach, and Herman’s.

    "What type of pie is Herman’s?" I asked the waiter.

    "Apple," he said.

    "Then why is it called Herman’s pie?"

    "Because Herman called in to reserve it."
     
    ***
     
    Days after we invaded Marja, Afghanistan, one of my Marines found out his wife hadn't paid the cell phone bill. He called the company and asked how he could settle up.

    "You can go to Western Union and place a money order," the billing agent told him.

    "Ma'am, I'm in Marja, Afghanistan," he explained. "We don't have Western Unions."

    "No problem. You can also go to Walmart."
     
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    sandrewn
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