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My Daily Bread Crumbs 27 Nov


sandrewn

153 views

November 27th - Holidays and Observances

(click on the day for details)

 

Observances (click on the day or week for details)

National Bavarian Cream Pie Day

Pins And Needles Day

Small Business Saturday

National Craft Jerky Day

 

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Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, "Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town."

The old man says, "We're from Nebraska."

Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, "What did he say, papa?"

The old man answers her, "He asked us where we are from."

"Oh," replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires.

When that's all done, the attendant tells the old man, "You know, the worst piece of ass I ever had was from Nebraska."

The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, "What did he say, papa?"

The husband replies, "He thinks he knows you, mama."

 

***

 

A little boy gets a toy plane. The boy loves his plane. He flies it all over the house. One day, the boy is in the living room with his plane while his mom is in the kitchen washing dishes. She listens to the boy playing and hears him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you mother fucking people want to get on, get on. All you mother fucking people want to get off, get off."

Angry, his mom rushes into the living room, takes the plane away, and sends him into his room. After 15 minutes, she starts to feel bad and tells the boy, "If you don't use that kind of language, you can play with your plane."

The boy returns to the living room, his mom to the kitchen. She listens again to the boy playing, she hears him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you very nice people want to get on, get on. All you very nice people want to get off, get off. If you have a problem with 15 minute delay, you can go talk to the bitch in the kitchen!"

 

***

 

A boy went home from school. His homework was to put down the things his family said.

So he goes to his mother who was talking on the phone. The boy asked "Mum, can you help me do my homework? The mother says "Shut up!" And goes back talking on the phone. The boy wrote that down.
He then went to his father watching a football commercial saying "Hell yeah!"
So the boy wrote that down.

The boy went to his little sister and his sister said "Lollipop, Lollipop"
So the boy wrote that down.

The boy went to his little brother and the brother said "DUNDUNUNUNUN, BATMAN!"
So the boy wrote that down.

The next day, the boy went to school and the teacher said "So what are the words?"
The boy said "Shut up!"
The teacher, shocked, calmly said " Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
The boy said "Hell yeah!"

So at the principal's office, the principal said "What do you think you deserve in this situation?"
The boy said "Lollipop lollipop!"
The principal yelled "Who do you think you are?!"


And the boy said " DUNUNUNUNU, BATMAN!"

 

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sandrewn :cowboy:

  • Haha 4

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