Thorn Wilde

Yup. That's when the meds started kicking my arse. I had it almost finished and then I just got stuck and didn't look at it for over four years. I managed some short stories and things for a while there, but then in the end I couldn't even do that, and that's when I vanished for two years. Off those awful meds now. Got my creativity back.

Yeah, Nemesis 2 took me nearly five years to finish... Nemesis 3 I wrote in three weeks in October. Admittedly I was hypomanic at the time, but still.

That's the only thing that matters.

I use Scrivener, and I think it's really useful for making outlines, what with the index card and cork board functions. I used to be terrible at making outlines, but now I've learned from my mistakes; it's easier to finish a book if you know where it's going.

My flatmate is going to bed. Silence at last.

Thank you! ❤️

I'd love it when you have a minute! ❤️

I love crumbly fudge, personally.

Why does my flatmate not do quiet? Why is there always a youtube video or something playing? I long for silence...

This the peanut butter fudge you were talking about earlier?

The awesome thing about Carmina Burana, I think, is that everyone thinks it’s sacred music, but actually it’s entirely profane. The words are about sex, alcohol, food, essentially pleasure. And many of them are graffiti left by young monks on convent walls, poems written in secret about beautiful women, that kind of thing. It’s such a fascinating backstory.

Thanks. Exhausted now, though. Physically as well as mentally. On my way home to curl up under a blanket with a cup of tea. Thinking I’ll order in today... too knackered to cook. Hope everyone else is having a better day than I’ve had. ❤️

Update: Voice is loosening up. I will be able to sing God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, which is early on and where my solo is, and the rest doesn’t matter.

Got some help from one of my choir mates who’s a vocal coach, and my mum brought me half a pharmacy’s worth of various bought and throat medicines, so now I can sing without feeling like I’ll vomit at least. Think I’ll be able to do the quartet.

They would. It’s also an issue that British schools have strict policies against touching students... when I went to school here in Norway, teachers would comfort and hug their students when they were sad or upset. That’s basically illegal in the UK. It’s awful. Only touch hard places. Shoulders, elbows. Insane not to be able to provide children with proper affection when they need it.

Morning everyone. Having a terrible day. In the church where everyone’s rehearsing, but I can’t sing. Got something in my throat, and every time I sing or speak I cough so hard I feel like I’m gonna throw up. I have a solo that someone else is gonna have to take if I can’t sing, and i have people coming tonight. And this is giving me super anxiety as well. This has never happened to me before. I can always sing.

I think it's awful that a teacher can't hug their student without arousing suspicion. Only touch hard places; shoulders, elbows. Even stroking Daniel's back is technically stretching it a bit. It's a sorry state of affairs. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Good night, everybody! Christmas concert with my choir tomorrow, first of two. Ugh. Have to be there at noon, which feels too early for a Saturday... Especially seeing as it's 5:40 in the morning now. Sooooo nobody to blame but myself. Night, all!

Daniel definitely has an urgent need for safe, caring adults in his life. It's a very complex situation. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! Sorry about the cliffhanger. I'll try not to leave you hanging for too long.

Getting to 5000 is easy. Just do as many bounties as you can and steal ALL THE THINGS! I have owned all the houses in a single play through at one point... I think I settled my husband and kids in Solitude.

Sounds like a seriously crappy day. I'm sorry. Glad today was better. And you so don't have to apologise for anything!

I understand you completely.

You are just about the sweetest person on Earth, you know that? I mean, we have talked about it. We are talking about it, and he still wants to come here. I mean, it's not just for me he's coming, he wants to get the hell out of dodge before Brexit comes through, and honestly he needs a fresh start cause he's been stuck in his shithole town going nowhere for thirty fucking years. Still. It's scary, you know? Especially since today I went out without my binder on, went shopping and stuff, and when I came home there was nothing I wanted more than to put it on again. Which, I've been putting it on to go out, but this is the first time I've put it on when I got home. That feels significant. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Long distance, but still two years. And we talk every day and I have told him about all this, but I feel like everything's changing so fast I don't even know who I am half the time... Sorry, stream of consciousness going on here right now. But thank you, for your advice and your thoughtfulness. I figure on here you're probably the one who understands the most clearly what I'm going through. I appreciate you.

I came home from Michael’s house Friday night to find Mum in the living room, which was strange enough on its own, as she hadn’t been out of her room all week as far as I was aware. She was in her dressing gown, but her face was awake and alert. I tried to think. It wasn’t benefits day, that would be next week. I knew because I was counting down the days until I could try and get myself that coat. ‘Hi, Mum,’ I said. ‘What . . . what are you doing up?’ She pursed her lips. She was ashen-f