Sammy Blue

Josh Soft snoring… Why is there someone snoring in my room? And whatever I am lying on, it is definitely not my own comfortable bed. It is way too hard for that. I opened my eyes and it took me a second to realize that I was still at Jacob’s place. A glance over to the nightstand told me it was a little past 5am. I usually didn’t wake up this early, but then again, I usually didn’t go to bed as early as I had last night. I felt a yawn coming, and made to stretch myself. The only sound that ca

I would like to add one (more specific) thing to what Mark annumerated there: Wade is also a father. While the whole arrangement is not the typical one and he certainly doesn't have as much of a burden with his son as a regular guy his age would have, he does have him. He sees Riley growing up, he is his father and he feels as such. I think he wants to provide him with a good future, with two loving dads. Matt does not fit into that equation, though. Even if Matt does not have the responsibility to Riley like it would be in other cases, even if he might not even have much with him to do, it must pain Wade. It must hurt him that he wanted to create a baby, a new life, together with Matt and now that there is this new life, Matt is busy partying and fucking around. I don't remember the original arrangements, but Jeany and Tiffany have broken up long ago and Jeanine is dead. That leaves Riley with Tiffany and Wade. I don't remember Matt's general attitude towards Riley during 9.11, at least not right now. Is it because I simply forgot it or is it because there is nothing? I just realized that when I read your post and thinking about it, I feel really sorry for Wade. I don't remember much that showed the connection between Wade and his son, which I either must have missed or if i didn't I think it's missing in the story. However, I can well imagine that this is another thing on Wade's mind, even if only in the background. Love Sammy

@B1ue: In fact, I do not only have 3 siblings, but also a brother who, just like me, is bi (he is leaning female though), and has a similar taste in man as I have, who attends the same gay youth group that I attend and who has the some of the same friends that I have. So actually, this situation is not all that unreal to me. @PrivateTim: I had the impression that you were justifying Matt's actions, which apparently you did not. I must've gotten that wrong. However, I think even if Will did exactly the same to someone else in the family, which I don't see he did, then I would still judge Matt and Will differently. Will makes mistakes, yes, but I do have the impression that he tries to learn and to improve as a person in generell. Even if he does something like with Zach's car, you have to leave him that he did it because he thought it was the right thing to do. Matt, right now, seems only malicious, careless and he does not even try to apologize or change. That is at least the impression I have. I think that is also the reason why people cut Will a lot of slack, but condemn Matt. I'm not sure if age, in numbers, is a real excuse here. I don't know if I excused Will with that before, but I'm thinking about it now... Will wants to be treated like an adult, like Matt and Wade and all the other young adults are treated, so thinking about it, he should at least try to act like one, too. If he does not he will lose that respect at some point. (simply by the way he acts). Currently I don't see much problems there, though. We argued a lot about the other things and it's probably an agree to disagree thing there, but the thing with Ethans friend? I never saw a problem there (other than with other things where I see the controversy, more or less). If you hadn't pointed it out, I wouldn't have thought of it. I don't see why it really is a problem. So it is wrong that if a guest to the CAP family brings a guest of his to the house (more or less, technically both are Wade's guests) and someone fucks them, that's wrong? Half the family should be guilty of that, no? I mean, there was no relationship or anything, it didn't interfere with the time Ethan and his friend had. Ethan didn't even know about it, did he? I don't remember it all that well, to be honest, but probably that is because I skimmed it as "just another sex scene with a random no name". I mean, explain it to me. I simply don't see any harm there.^^

Thank you Mark! I wanted to reply and point these things out (I completely agree with you and had the same things on my mind), but kind of backed out because this is making me too emotional and posting emotional is never good when you're back from partying, and drunk. ^^ It's kind of funny how we're taking sides and arguing this whole thing. I cannot understand Tim's reasoning at all, and sometimes it even gets me really annoyed. Not only in this case but also previously (not Tim in particular, I just mean the general discussion). However, I now realize that this kind of makes us all a little part of the CAP family (or the CAP family a part of us). We don't always see reason and we have different opinons about things, just like Will and Matt and Brad and so on do. It seems that certain people do have certain favorites. I at least know that rjo and me are almost always on Will's side, and I have a feeling that Tim really doesn't like him at all. It might get to me sometimes, but that's okay. Even good, I think. No hard feelings, Tim, and others I disagree with sometimes! I'm as fond of you as Will of the bitchy JJ. I might be annoyed that you see things completely different from how I do, but at the end of the day we are still all on the same page: We are CAP readers and we love this story! And just like in CAP, we're not in the agreement corner here. Without some different opinions, this thread would be boring. Bitching about Zach's car is half the fun. (ok, I'm going to pass out now and I hope when I wake up tomorrow that I don't think this is complete BS ) Night!

I am actually not so sure about this one. I think a while back I would've said that JJ might well do it. We have seen a lot of changes in JJ, though. Often, when I think of JJ and Will I remember the scene when JJ took off his ring and marched out together with Will, or the scene in the bus between the two of them, after Robbie died. I doubt that JJ would deliberately hurt Will. It is hard to really read him, though, and there might be many factors playing in. Maybe one could say it is very unlikely, but never say never? (You never know what kind of drama lies ahead, lol) Also, it seems kind of hypothetic to me. JJ is not exactly the guy to fuck around at all, and even less with someone who fucks around with his brother. I think the last intimate scenes of him have shown that very clearly. --- Haha Mark was faster... well, what he said

I can't really agree here. Will did run away when he was desperate and after that military nanny guy, I probably would have done the same. Yes, Matt has been rejected by his parents, but you can hardly comepare that to his situation. His parents are okay with him being gay now, and they have been for quite some time. Robbie didn't know about him existing, and once he learned about it, he did his best to make up for that. Also, at no point in time, Matt felt the despair of being totally at his parent's will. Even when they cut him off, it was not nice, true, but he simply went to JP and got some money to cover tuition and stuff. Will didn't even get that, when I remember back to Norway, even Stef fucked up there. Yes, Matt had some stuff in his past, too, but as far as I remember all of those things are completely fixed and forgotten. Also, I completely understood Matt and his ways back then, when all that stuff happened. I even cut him some slack after that, but there is some point in time when that's over. Just like I expect Will to fully grow up at some point. There hasn't been much time since all that emancipation stuff happened, other than with Matt. There, it's years ago. Now, Matt sure has reasons to be the way he is, but I don't see any of the things you mentioned having anyhing to do with it. Robbie's death? Sure. The whole clinging to his student life thing Mark mentioned? Yeah, might be. I also don't see what you mean with the contrary evidance. Sure, Will is loved, and always was, but that doesn't change that people who love someone can also make mistakes. Brad did handle the whole situation very badly. If you think that he should have just beat up Will so Will becomes a nice little boy and does everything he is told, then I think we have to agree to disagree.^^ I suppose we can agree on one thing: Neither of those two is perfect and they both do hot-headed and immature decisions. The trend is for Will to grow up and for Matt to go backwards, though. At least that is my impression. One more thing to add: I don't see how Will buying Zach a car (or something like that) compares to what Matt did. I think that Will is right where you mentioned him in the paragraph before. He is very forgiving of people when he feels that they actually feel sorry for what they did and that they have changed. I can't remember him bearing any grudges. I was actually pissed off at him for a few times when he simply let things go. However, you are also right. I hope that Will doesn't totally blow up on this one. Without Wade's intervention he probably would have, and that might have caused a lot of trouble. I think he would've let himself go down to Matt's level and that shows that he probably still is immature sometimes. That being said, I also doubt that Matt will see what he did wrong, at least not all that easily. Even though Tony is kind of already out of the picture for Will, it doesn't change what Matt did. What would you say if your brother fucked your lover (or whatever) behind your back even though you made it clear that it was off limits? Because that is technically the situation. I'm sure that neither of us would say "Oh my, you just lost your father (who was my father, too, remember?) and then I can really understand what you did, even if you give a fuck about me and don't even see what you did wrong..." Or would anyone here react like that? Will is forgiving, as I said, but not if people don't want to be forgiven (i.e. don't see what they should be forgiven for in the first place). Actually, I'm sure if Matt would go to Will and say like: "You know what? I was being stupid. I did it to piss you off and now I see how wrong that was. I'm really sorry I fucked him and broke the trust you had. I will not do it again and I'm really sorry. Forgive me pwetty pwetty please with a cherry on top?" -> if he would do that, and mean it, then I think Will would actually get over it quickly. He might still burn down Matt's car but I think that a couple days later it will be all forgotten. Now if Matt is all like "you know what, fuck you, I do what I want and I'll fuck Zach next", then it would get really ugly. No matter what Matt's situation, I doubt Will would forgive him that. Not because he is immature but because it means much more than that. It means that Matt can't be trusted and that he is willing to harm the relationships his brother(s and other family members) have, just because he can. And I don't think Will would be immature for making an issue out of it. I would probably do the same thing (if not with such a big blowup like Will would).

Lol, it might actually work. ;D No seriously, Will isn't that easy (actually, he is, but only if it seems real enough to him, and Matt wouldn't be able to convince him of that)... also, I doubt he would fuck Matt. There is this brother thing and then there is Wade. And it seems that whole issue with Zach's car isn't going to be forgotten any soon. Gave me a good laugh, though.

I'm sorry I haven't been reading and posting here much, lately. Anyway, I thought I just had to comment here after reading the latest chapter... I think it has been mentioned quite some in the reviews but... I'm kind of glad that Tony is history now (or is he? LOL never underestimate a Mark Arbour... it seems too easy of an end for all that drama....) Also, rjo said in his review that this is not just about grief, but about Matt being like this for 4 years, and I kind of have to agree with him. It made me wonder whether Matt really should remember of Robbie... or maybe rather of Jeff? Only, he isn't doing heroine, he's doing dicks. Some people said they hope that this is the end of Matt and Wade and I don't know. Those two started out being really great and then Matt became an asshole. I really liked him in the beginning but ever since he's been a captain of that team I've kind of started losing my respect for him. He really became a dick after that first book. Still, it's hard to see this relationship go down the tubes... (or go down the creek, as we say in German ) I would honestly wish for Matt to change, but I doubt that will happen. He might change some, might see some of his mistakes, but I'm not convinced he will change completely... I just hope I don't have to go through all the emotional pain with Wade like we used to with Brad, because I like Wade a lot more than I like Brad.... ^-^ There is one interesting question though... if Matt doesn't end up being the right guy for Wade... who then? Anyway, that was my two cents (and a gallon of beer ) A good night to everyone! Sammy

Hey, I promised I'd read it and so I did. Let me give you my opinion... There has been a significant improvement from the first two to the third chapter. You still mix up the tenses. Sometimes you write in the past tense and sometimes you write in present tense. Decide for one of those and stick with it. I like the story idea, even though it is moving a little fast. Take your time to go through and describe everything that happens! Don't rush things, it is not the end of the story that matters, but the way you are walking to get there. Anyway, keep writing! Looking forward to more. I wanna know what their new school is like.

That's actually difficult to say, lol I thought of post WW II, because before that it was a completely different system and if you'd ask for the first Chancellor here, I think everyone would think of Adenauer...^^

Hey Riegel, thanks a lot for your nice words and your comments on the content/etc.! There are two reasons for my English skills, I think. I read a lot on here and elsewhere. I play an online game on an American server and the English lessons I had at school were pretty though (for an A it was pretty much required to be semi-fluent). The other reason is my amazing editor, nosty, who has made sure that I lose my most common errors. I'm pleased to hear that the hard work has payed off. I will be honest about some things here. I am glad that you did not find any inconsistencies in the depiction of Albany. The story was originally set in a not named town of about a hundred thousand citizens. Only after about the fifth chapter, I decided to choose a city and it happened to be Albany. I did some research but I mostly just try to make it sound like it fits without actually having chosen exact locations or checked which schools are where and if there is a park close enough, or a public pool. I chose Albany because I wanted an open-minded youth that is generally accepting of gays, with some exceptions and some people who just don't know any gays and therefore have prejudices which they can overcome quickly, though, because of their surrounding. That presented me with a major problem when working on Josh's adoptive father. I realized it too late and while I do want him to be really homophobic, it is hard to write him, as a politician, that way in NY. I try to make it work and hope I won't mess it up somewhere in the next chapters. I think the main excuse is that while the public is mostly accepting in that day and place, there are exceptions and people might act different when they are at home, like you pointed out. I am already working a little bit on my next story and want to be much more accurate there. I guess the fact that I will mostly set it in Germany will make things easier. I like how you pointed out that Josh and Jacob have to work on their weaknesses to be the other one. I have not looked at it that way, so far, but you are right. It's very interesting what my readers point out what I do subconsciously. ;D We might never learn how they ended up in different families. The Bakers might not even know and Josh's parents don't seem to be likely to be talkative. We will see what happens... Wow that was almost a novel I wrote here. Anyway, I should go do something for university, so I have enough time to write chapter 10 in the next days. Thanks a lot for your review again!

I couldn't even tell you the first 2 cancellors of my country, let alone the first four of the US... I think that kind of knowledge is pretty pointless. History really is about coherences, about the why and how much more than about the (exact) when and who. We can learn a lot from history, but not from the names and dates alone. Any computer can answer that kind of question better and quicker than a human... But not knowing "which country was fought in the cold war"? (the question is kind of put stupid though) Okay, seriously: I can't even believe that one... Is it because I've lived all my life right at the former east/west German border and regularly travel between the former DDR and BRD? Maybe that's the reason, but that question feels like a 99,9% should answer it correctly... I don't know... 27% just sounds like... wrong... and what the hell has a difficult political system to do with not knowing basic things like about the declaration of independence and the soviet union... The name of the chief guy from some court? Who the hell cares? ^^

Haha no comment about Philip? I was kind of expecting one after your chapter 1 review! As for Parker: Jacob was pretty clear when talking to him. ^.^ It remains to be seen how Parker will react to that... Thanks for all of your reviews! It means a lot to me.

I agree. Jacob's life is obviously totally different from Josh's so his observations are probably even worse than the one of Josh, who is kind of used to it. Then again, he also has a certain distance to everything. He can evaluate things differently than Josh. You have already read about that in chapter 9.

Thanks, I'm glad you had fun reading it! Originally the whole trading places part was much shorter but it seemed people liked it, so there are a few chapters to come on that. It slowed down the posting but I suppose that's worth it.

They sure haven't thought of everything, but at least of the most important things. Still, I guess it is impossible to get everything perfect. We'll see what happens

Haha, yes, the question a reader asks here is probably not IF it will go wrong, but WHEN it will happen. I think swapping lives can be temping at any age, but with 15 it is probably even more so. And at that age you can do it much better than if you've got a job or an own family...

Yeah, I don't think Josh's parents would be very excited to explain that... do his grandparents even know? Jacob's brothers are so close to him, it seems like it would make no difference to them. He has a lot to lose though, so I guess it's understandable that he isn't keen on letting the world know.

It does make a big difference to have someone to rely on, to have friends.

It's a common problem that many teens have, I guess. :3 Also, the less friends you have, the bigger seems the problem with the courage to be.Maybe meeting Parker was not only something bad, though.

Well as you have already learned (much later) Philip is not that simple. He does seem creepy, though. And well, with a life like Josh's, things can only get better.

It is, isn't it? But as an author, you sometimes have to be cruel, I guess. Thanks a lot for all your reviews! Since you took the time to write one to every single chapter, I am now going to try and reply to each and every of your reviews!

The next chapter will definitely be Josh's POV and he will have French on Tuesday, that much I can promise. To the rest I can only say: very good observations! Your reviews are a pleasure to read! Damn it's so hard to keep myself from writing spoilers here, because I already know what's going to happen. Though I think this is the first time you don't predict everything I have thought of I hope I will manage to surprise you at some point.

Thank you! The idea is kind of cliché, but I love it, too. I guess it's a scenario that is exciting to think about and that most of us would like to experience.

Thanks a lot! I'm glad you're enjoying it. A happy new year to you, too! :3