Luc

We all drive faster than the speed limit. Anyone who says they don

So it is actually ok to interrupt a conversation like that? Because he used the word

I suppose I am just being oversensitive. That

Happy Birthday!

Jay continues to keep me posted on how Mark is doing: "Hi all, Mark is really doing well, he is eating and drinking and managing to walk around his room. He has also had most his drains and stuff removed, I wont go in to too much detail about that other stuff. He is still very tired and feels weak after doing very little but that is due to his body healing. They changed his dressings today and he saw his head for the first time which didn

I am so happy for you! I really hope everything works out. Sounds like you have something good to build on.

...ok, I wasn't really CHASING Sam with the drill. He just happened to be in front of me...running...and screaming...

More news from Jay: "Hi Guys, Mark is doing well he has sat up a little today and had some water, he is also talking some more but is still struggling a little. He is feeling ok just very tired and he is hoping to be home next week. The doctor is very happy with how he is doing and he is now on the high dependency unit which is better than intensive care. They hope to sit him out later tonight for a short while and start him eating tomorrow. So he should be home soon, not soon enough for him as he is missing everyone. I will see him tomorrow and will let you know how he is. Jay." Mark also sent me some words. As much as I love hearing from Jay--especially when it is good news--there is nothing like seeing Marks own words. He says he "sounds stupid" when he talks and was worried that might come across when he writes. It doesn't. All the words he sent me were the most beautiful, most brilliant words I've ever read.

Got an email from Jay. It's a little better news this time: "Just wanted to let you know Mark is doing better, he is off the ventilator and more conscious. He still isn

Thanks for all your good thoughts. Got an email from Jay today, so will post it here to keep everyone updated. "Mark

Happy Birthday!

I know some of you want to know how Mark is doing. So far I have gotten 2 emails from Jay: He went down for his surgery this morning. Everything seem to go ok but he hasn

This is what Jay sent me in an email. It SEEMS to have been sent around 7 pm HIS time (2 pm my time) but god knows with Yahoo: He went down for his surgery this morning. Everything seem to go ok but he hasn

Well, today is Mark's surgery. He went in the hospital at 7 am and was scheduled to be the surgeon's second operation. Second is good. I figure the surgeon will be all warmed up from his first op and not yet tired from operating all day. So second is good. Mark showed me some things on his surgery and told me some things. Since he has recently had menengitis, he is at a higher risk for increased cranial pressure. So when he comes out of surgery they will fix it so he can't move his head and he will have tubes in his nose and down into his stomach. Coughing or vomiting will increase cranial pressure, so they don't want that. I think what gets me the most, even more than worrying about whether he will be ok (because I know he will be), is thinking of him lying there like that. I hurt for him. Cried so much last night that my eyes hurt today. The worst was when it was time for him to go and go to the hospital. Saying night to him then was the hardest thing. I felt like I couldn't breathe. You know that feeling when your body just clenches and your eyes burn and there is this building up and then you just release what really could be described as a wail? Yeah, lovely thing. That went on for about 15 minutes. Every possible scenario has gone through my head more than once. You know, I know he will be ok because I cannot even contemplate anything else. But there is still this feeling of an empty pit in my stomach. And my body is tense. And my head just wants to shut off. I told Mark I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until he is home. Which is expected to be 5 days at a minimum. Could be longer, depending upon how things go. Then there is 4-6 weeks of rest at home. Today is openening day of the Saratoga Race Course. My dad and I always went. I missed last year because my head was so far up my ass. I'm going to miss today also. Not because my head is up my ass, but because I really cannot deal with two emotional stresses at once. I would likely walk through the gates and burst into tears--which is SO conspicuous. So will go to OTB today instead. Mark picked some horses for me last night and I want to play them. Then I will take Sam to Jumping Jacks and have a fish fry with chili sauce. Mmm. Sam will have a hot dog--and will feed his roll to the birds. It is a ritual. Waiting to hear from Jay. I know it won't be until much later. I figure they will have to physically kick him out of the hospital. I suspect he won't be in the greatest of moods when he comes on. Might just wait for an email rather than talk to him--though I probably will end up sitting here waiting for him and pounce on him when he signs on. Poor guy. It is so hot, which makes me think of Mark. He said it is unbearably hot in the hospital. He was working one day and it was so hot he looked like he was going to pass out, so they sent him home. I hope he is not miserably hot lying there. Though I know that he will be drugged up and stress to the body often makes you cold--which is why they have hospitals so damned hot. Not really sure where I am mentally. Numb mostly. I told him last night that I wished it could be like Snoiwy's story, that he could go to sleep and while he was unconscious he could slip into an alternate reality which was like we both wish it were. Ok, crying now because I SO want to be there when he wakes up. But I wish it could belike that for him, even for just a little while to live in that other reality. I want to close my eyes and go there with him. When my mind finally snaps--which could be at any time--that's where I want to go in my head.

Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great one.

Mark explained car boot sales to me. They are a lot like our garage sales--except you have enough sense to drive far away from where you live so that no one can later point to your house and say, "That's where the crazy man lives who was selling all the weird cassette tapes. The Ink Spots? Bobby Brown? Sade?" (for the record, The Ink Spots was my dad's tape--and I only got rid of Sade because I have the CD now) So...you will keep us posted on how the seduction goes, right? Maybe with some pics to go along with the narrative?

Well, my garden is doing pretty well this year. I used to have a HUGE garden where I used to live. Last year I was so disgusted with the trees around my yard (because they shaded it completely and made digging nearly impossible) that I didn't put in a garden (except for an herb garden that mostly did not overwinter). But this year I decided that I could NOT stand not having a garden. So I trimmed some trees--took one down completely (don't ask about the gas grill it landed on, I had 2 anyway) and put in some raised beds. My tomatoes are going insane. I planted one Early Girl--which is now over 6 ft tall, several grape tomatoes (in the back along the trellis), a cherry tomato (on the left front) and a 'patio' tomato (front center). Sam is 5'3", so that gives some perspective. My snow peas are a little thin--but I planted them late. And as they grow, Sam eats them. There is a basil plant in the front. My cubanelle peppers are doing ok. I have VERY TINY peppers on some of them, but they are a bit slow. Nice plants though. And in the back, sort of climbing up the trellis, are my cucumbers. If you look, you can see my one decent-sized cucumber. That's Sam's hand--notice how clean it is? Pool....chlorine The herb garden is a bit pitiful. Used cinder blocks from an old 'fireplace' (really a barbecue type thing). It is a work in progress. I have mostly mints at this point. And some lemon balm and sage. The thyme resists my attempts to get it established. The catnip would be better if Sam didn't keep picking off the top leaves and getting my cats stoned. No, not part of my garden. We went to the Saratoga County Fair today--Sam rode the elephant. Just thought I'd throw that pic in for good measure. Now...tell me why as soon as Sam got on the elephant, the elephant decided to...er...well, eliminate some waste? Scott joked that Sam squeezed it out of him. Sam didn't appreciate that joke much. Ever watch an elephant poop? The guy stuck the wheel barrow under him while he was going. Poor elephant. Poor guy.

Happy Birthday, Jas!

Sam had his head shaved at the hair salon a while ago. He wanted it shaved with a razor, but they just used clippers and it was not really "down to the skin." But it was close. Well, one of his 'friends' told him he looked like Uncle Fester. Ok, Sam is a pretty sensitive kid at times. So when he told me this, I really expected him to go all drama queen on me (yes, he gets that from me). But instead, he decided to 'embrace his Festerness.' I was very proud of him when he told me that. So he has been wearing his "Uncle Fester" t-shirt all the time--to the point where I had to physically pull it from him and race him down the cellar stairs and shove it in the washing machine so he wouldn't smell like he had something 'festering.' *shakes head* Believe me, 11 year old boys can work up quite a stench without much effort. Fortunately he likes to be in the pool--I add extra chlorine because I am never quite sure where his feet have been. Which is probably a good thing because really, do I WANT to know? No, I do not. We were sitting at the dining room table playing Yahtzee and he says to me, "Mark had his head shaved yesterday, right?" Yes, he did. "Will you shave my head? It's starting to grow back now and I'm losing my Festeriness." (Yes, he said "Festeriness") "And I want it right down to the skin, like Mark." I've never shaved a head before. I didn't figure it would be too difficult. I mean, it's nice and round and hard. How hard can it be? So I got out my razors (had 4 left) and a thing of water and some shaving gel and went to work. Well, 4 razors later I had a little better than half his head shaved. And it wasn't like I had one half completely shaved and the other not shaved at all--no, I didn't do it like that. I moved around his head as I tried to find easy places to shave. So when I say he had half his head shaved, I mean he looked like he had mange. So Sam and I went to Walmart. No, he didn't wear a hat. I would have worn a hood--or maybe a paper bag. No, actually, I wouldn't have gone out. But really, I wouldn't have shaved my head in the first place. Sam thoroughly enjoyed his trip to Walmart and all the looks he got. He took EVERY opportunity to call attention to himself while we were there. He is SUCH an attention whore. (Ok, he MAY get some of that from me...) When we got home I finished shaving his head. Bought different razors. Bought the nice ones designed for shaving sensitive skin. Not that his head is sensitive--it is a brick. But I promised him that I would buy him She Creature (video or dvd) if I cut him. (I didn't cut him but will buy it for him anyway if I can find it--will look online.) He went into the pool and rinsed his head--for about a half hour (chlorine working nicely to turn those black feet back to white feet and I even noticed he had white hands when he came out of the pool--have to love chlorine). Then he did some camera whoring. Hmm...Attention whore, camera whore. Ok, the whore part seems to be a theme forming. Must be genetic. So anyway...heeeerrrr's Fester...er...I mean Sam:

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday!

No, I wasn't. But don't worry, I won't post again.

Just for the record, this wasn

One thing I have learned over the course of my life is that loving someone isn

Perhaps the reason our soft, cuddly, loving companions whose customary demeanor hints at deep spiritual wisdom tend to dismember and consume their freshly-killed prey in front of us is to remind us that everything has a place in the natural world