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Luc

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Blog Entries posted by Luc

  1. Luc
    We're having a thunderstorm! Been forever since we've had a decent one. I've been extremely jealous of Andy, who seems to have one on a daily basis lately.
     
    So first things first... A good friend of mine has posted a story on eFiction. Finishing Lyrics by Unbeliever I'm a real fan of his writing for a few reasons. He tends to write short, sharp pieces, which is something I really like. His writing style is different.' It usually has an edge to it, which is also something I like. And it is vastly different from mine, which brings me to one other reason I am a fan--he is the "he who points out things" that I have mentioned before. I would call him my editor, but he won't let me. When he reads my words, he reads them with an eye that sees things from an angle, a different perspective, which always has the result of making my writing better than it would be. So, give his story a look. It might not be to everyone's taste (whose writing is?). but you owe it to yourself to experience something new. And don't forget to leave a comment in the discussion thread.
     
    i've planted my garden. That's always an exciting thing for me (yes, I am sad). My gardening options are a bit limited since my yard is shady in most spots and the ground is filled with large tree roots just about everywhere. So I put in a few raised beds last year and made a raised herb garden out of some cinder blocks that used to be part of what we called "the fireplace" when I was a kid (someone's aborted attempt to make a bbq).
     
    I discovered that most of my herbs DID overwinter. Though for some reason the catnip didn't. Neither did the sage. The sage I can understand. It seldom overwinters. But the catnip is usually much hardier. Though I really do suspect that my son had something to do with that. My cats seemed to be stoned more often than usual last summer and fall. Improper and excessive harvesting o the leaves--that is what I am thinking. So I put more catnip in this year and some more sage. I also added some dill in the center. Most of what has overwintered can't really be seen in the pic. What appears to have survived is the chocolate mint, peppermint, lemon balm (though it may be the lemon catmint), oregano (did I actually DOUBT that the oregano--which ended up EVERYWHERE at my old house--would NOT survive?) and some other form of mint that I really don't remember. Hopefully it is spearmint. Will know when the leaves get big enough to risk pinching off one and sniffing. I added wind chimes to the herb garden this year. Got them in Virginia Beach when I went on vacation. They are fishy things and I forget what they are made of, but they have a nie sound. I also added some flowers. I planted violets (which somehow survived the unexpected encounters with the cereal box and the candy bar in WalMart) and Alyssum in the holes in the cinder blocks. Hopefully they will grow for a little while at least.
     

     
    This is the garden bed that will have the snow peas. Sam planted them. We don't end up doing muh with them except eating them when we are in the yard. I put 3 pimento pepper plants in that bed, 2 catnip plants (in case the herb garden finished the other catnip off again) and 3 cucumber plants that wouldn't fit in the other bed along the trellis. They are bush type, so I will cage them and hope for the best. I also had one violet plant leftover from the herb garden, so planted it here.
     

     
    This is the garden bed that has the cucumbers planted along the back trellis. They grow fairly well that way and we seemed to get enough cucumbers last year to keep up with our salad and munchie needs. I also have a patio tomato planted there (no cage yet) and some tomato variety that claims to be HUGE. It is Texas something or other. Well...everything in Texas is HUGE, right? And in between them I planted some basil. I don't actually use a lot of basil, but I like the smell of it and it likes tomato plants.
     

     
    This garden bed is just grape tomatoes. I have one plant that is "Juliet" and is suposedly a grape form of Roma paste tomatoes. I never seem to have enough grape tomatoes and they are expensive as hell in the stores. They also provide good munchies as well as salad material. I need to grow a lot o anything that can be picked and munched on--because Sam is like a locust when he is around a garden. I, of course, do not pick things and eat them while I am gardening... I decided to cage them as well as leave the trellis up for their climbing pleasure. Last year the grape tomatoes grew over 8 feet tall. My guess is there will be little bastards (aka volunteers) growing on the other side of the fence this year.
     

     
    So yeah, I get into gardening a bit. It's relaxing--or it is when no one bothers me when I am doing it. I don't like to r ush things. I just like to take my time and sit next to the beds and look over the plants and pull weeds and chill.
     
    I have also planted a raspberry bush, but apparently I left that pic on my upstairs computer when I was transferring files. Since the Ottawa/Buffalo game is on now, there is no way I'm going to go upstairs and get it. They are tied 2-2.
     
    GO, SENATORS!
  2. Luc
    Well, despite the drama, I finished editing The Shower and it is now posted on my site
     
    You know, I started out thinking, "Hey, I'll write a short piece of 'porn' and see how it goes." Well, forget that. I can't seem to write 'porn.' I always seem to get something of a plot in there (ok...this one is a bit thin on plot) and it always seems to turn into something softer than 'porn.' But, hey...lots of people write porn. I'll just stick to writing fantasies instead. And maybe try 'porn' again at some point. No, it isn't that I think 'porn' is something to aspire to, but I wanted to see if I could actually write some. Sort of as a writing challenge. So we'll see.
     
    In the meantime... *looks at everyone with pleading eyes* go read my 'non-porn' and let me know what you think.
  3. Luc
    I'm having a real 'moment'here. Yeah, no surprise. luc's having another drama queen moment. But I am just so goddamned sick of everyone in my 'real' life. Everyone. You know, the only people who have ever given a damn about my writing were my parents. My dad didn't really understand most of it, but he knew it was important to me. My mom knows it is important to me.
     
    YOU WOULD THINK that my son and the man who allegedly loves me would also understand that it is important to me--even if they don't read it. I have sat here all f**king night working on editing The Shower. The Rangers were playing hockey so I figured at least Scott would leave me alone and let me work on that. And I could live with the occasional outbursts from him. Except I told him I was trying to concentrate and thata I didn't mind that but interrupting me to talk about why the Rangers were great was a bit much. Sam, too, managed to find ways of constantly interrupting me. I told him I was trying to concentrate and asaked him how he felt when someone talked to him about nothing urgent when he was doing his homework. He said he didn't like it. And he said he would stop. Yeah, right. Constantly for the past 4 hours he has interrupted me to tell me stupid things, to ask me stupid things, to just make noises however he could.
     
    And it really goes much beyond this. I have asked--and when ignored, asked again a little more loudly--that when i am writing, please leave me alone. Scott's answer to this when i get pissy about it is to walk past me and lift a cheek and fart at me. f**king Christ, he's a teacher! I thought I had found someone a little higher up on the evolutionary scale! Sam thinks that is so funny. And it all boils down to they really don't think my writing is valuable in any way. It is just something I do for fun. It doesn' tpay me any money. It isn't getting published. It's a waste of time, time I could spend 'doing something.' Thaqt is how it is treated around here. And when I express my upset at that, well...I'm not qutie sure how to interpret the noise from someone's ass, but my guess is it means something like, "like I give a shit."
     
    So you know, I had a moment before this moment. I said I was going to just stop writing and delete everything and never write a goddamned word again because what the f**K is the point? Tje people I love and who supposedly love me couldn't give a f**K.
     
    It pisses me off so much because it hurts so much. It is the one thing that I do that has meaning to me, that makes me feel good about myself. And they treat it like it is nothing. That makes me feel like I am nothing. And Scott wonders why I stay up all night. Because that's when I can write without anyone making me feel like I am doing something wrong, something unimportant, something that is just a waste of my time--and apparently theirs, too. *laughs* And SAm does the same damned thing. He learned it from someone else before it was reinforced by Scott.
     
    I hate them both. Sam is upset right now, ran upstairs crying. Scott is pissed off at me because I got upset with him and Sam. And I have deleted the files I was working on because what is the f**king point? *laughs* Yeah, they are in the Recycle Bin, so I can get them back. But I don't know if I want to. It seems that all through my life I have heard the same things from people in my life. I stopped writing for years because you know, if you hear something enough times or hear it said the right way, you tend to believe it.
     
    so yeah, another one of my moments. And yeah, I am to the point of throwing things and slamming things and I had this laptop in my hands and god, I almost threw it across the room. *laughs hysterically* Then I realized I have things on this laptop that I don't have on my regular computer--conversations I don't want to lose, pictures I don't want to lose. So it got a last minute reprieve.
     
    So what is the last thing he said to me as he stalked upstairs (other than he was going to watch hockey in peace)? "Why don't you take something and calm the f**K down?" *spits in his general direction* And just yesterday he asked me (because I was wearing sunglasses because my eyes hurt and were puffy from a hell of a bad night), "You using something again?" *bangs head on desk* Take a drug....don't take a drug...make up your goddamned mind, will you? (I wasn't)
     
    No, my writing isn't important. It isn't important that I concentrate and try to do something that means something to me. But it is SO GODDAMNED IMPORTANT THAT THE RANGERS BEAT THE SABRES!
  4. Luc
    I was talking to Andy tonight and mentioned I had met someone on a Harry Potter site (I actually met several people who are still very important to me on that site, and some who were once very important to me but who have faded away...). *rolls eyes* Yeah, I know...Harry Potter... Hey, it was a long time ago and a lifetime ago and I was very into Harry Potter.
     
    But actually, if I had never gone to that site I would not be writing now. I stopped writing for YEARS and only started again when I discovered HP fanfics. I ended up writing a few of them. Nothing that exciting. Mostly just innocent little slash fics. (I am a hardcore Lucius/Severus shipper, fyi--and a Harry/Draco shipper, despite the obvious problems with that.) So tonight I took a walk into the past and reread my fanfics. It felt strange to read them since I can remember writing them and where I was in my life at the time and the friends I had at the time. Was even stranger, still, to read the comments posted by those friends. *shakes head* An entire life ago.
     
    But just for the hell of it... This is my one completed Harry/Draco fic.
     
    His Grey Eyes
     
    I saw him sitting by the lake, alone. It was just after his father had paid Dumbledore a visit. After his father had paid Professor Snape a visit. After his father had paid him a visit. It was odd to see him alone. Odd to see him without his bookends, Crabbe and Goyle. Odder still to see him crying.
     
    I didn
  5. Luc
    *props eyes open with toothpicks* I'm going to say this and then I am going to bed.
     
    I FINISHED AN ENTRY FOR THE SPRING ANTHOLOGY!
     
    I had absolutely given up. I really struggled with the theme for various reasons, mostly emotional. Really didn't think I would manage to write ANYTHING. God knows, I had tried. I have about 20 documents in Word that are aborted attempts at that "Endings and Beginnings" topic.
     
    So tonight I said goodnight to Rob, whom I was talking to on MSN, and went to bed. I have to be up early in the morning because we are going to Bridgeport to watch the Rats play the Sound Tigers. So I got in bed, turned off the light and IMMEDIATELY my head started buzzing. Knew at that point there was no point in trying to sleep with all that noise going on. So got up, went back downstairs and started writing. Messaged Rob to ask him if he would be on for a little while because I had something I was writing that MIGHT make it to being an entry for the Spring Anthology. Thankfully he stayed online--because really, if he doesn't "point out things" my writing suffers.
     
    So...I just sent in "I Will Live in You" for my Spring Anthology submission. It is short and should feel a bit confusing and fractured. That is what I hope, anyway. In it, two beings who had joined to become one being are separating into two again. It is connected to my Winter Anthology poem, "I, no more." The person being "entered" at the end of "i Will Live in You" is the one in "I, no more." Which hopefully will make some sort of sense.
     
    Ok, I am SO tired now. But I can sleep now that my "assignment" is completed. Man, I really DO have issues with incomplete assignments.
     
    Night.
  6. Luc
    Sam and I are going to Binghamton tomorrow to watch the Albany River Rats play the Binghamton Senators. Yes, that is a very exciting thing for us. For Sam, the most exciting thing is that they sell Dipping Dots at the arena there. Our arena doesn't. So he is psyched The boy will do just about anything for Dipping Dots. I find them a bit freakish. Ice cream that doesn't really melt on your tongue is just wrong.Though the root beer float ones are pretty good. But I actually am psyched about watching the game. I am a Senators fan. *hides head in shame* I know, I am also a Rats fan. But my love affair with Binghamton started when Brian McGrattan played for them. He has moved on to play with the Ottawa Senators, which--naturally--are one of my favorite teams. Are? Is? I've been told I watch hockey with my hormones. I'm not going to deny that too loudly. Hockey players are hot. If I could find "hockey porn" out there, I'd watch it. Probably wouldn't do much else.
     
    But anyway... we are going to Binghamton tomorrow, even though we are supposed to get a nice snowstorm. I haven't checked the weather report for the Binghamton area yet, but WE are supposed to get 10-15 inches. So it should be an interesting trip. And no, NOT going is not an option. I have already paid for the tickets. And it's hockey. You don't miss a hockey game because it is snowing! God! *shakes head* Unthinkable. Yeah, I could watch it on the computer. BUT, we already have our seats and they are good seats and...well, they sell Dipping Dots.
     
    And the Rats are currently in 4th place in their division. The top four get to go to the playoffs for the Calder Cup. They are only in 4th place by one point, though, and need to be cheered on.
     
    And yes, there are more important things than hockey. But at the moment hockey is a good distraction from those other things that are not going as well as I would like. It feels good to go to a game and yell and cheer and jump up and down.
     
    And one good thing is that the Bridgeport Sound Tigers (the team in 5th position, one point behind the Rats) has had its top goalie called up to the Islanders and also one of their top scorers has been called up. Good for the Islanders (my other favorite team in the NHL), bad for the Sound Tigers--good for the Rats.
     
    The helilsh thing is RIGHT NOW I am waiting for the hockey game on TV to start--it is the Senators vs the Islanders. I will end up rooting for the Islanders because the Senators are doing so well and the Islanders could use some help. Except when McGrattan is on the ice. Hopefully he will be. I whine if he is scratched. Not that there is anyone to hear my whining other than Sam (who is currently attached to my computer upstairs), but still... McGrattan is nice and aggressive and really...I'm his for the taking. If he should ever stray from the straight path.
     
    But anyway...the next person (not 'guy' because I am seriously thinking of giving girls another try) I get involved with (if I ever do that again) must love hockey and must NOT be a Rangers fan.
  7. Luc
    Sometimes I am so slow it amazes me. I just now read the February Newsletter (at least it was the February 2007 Newsletter). Have to say that my mouth dropped oppen like a startled goldfish. Nickolas James reviewed my poetry! Wow. I suppose I will have to be careful now--or I might get the idea that I am a 'real' poet. *laughs* Though if that ever happens, I will just go back and read some of my older things that are posted on a secret site far, far away from the eyes of anyone who does not love me and that bubble will be very properly popped. I'm so very flattered that ANYONE has even READ my poetry. And I have probably said that before to some people, but it is true. I am always amazed by that. If you want to read what he said, go here.
     
    And I am now a bit scared, because it seems one of my poems has won one of the Members Choice Awarads (for Best Poem on GA). I was thrilled just to have had a couple of nominations going. I figure to be included in the nominations with some extremely talented writers was enough. So when "I, No More" won (Winter Anthology Submission), it had me looking up at the sky wondering when the airplane would drop out of the sky on top of my head.
     
    So, all in all...wow.
     
    Thank you. To Nicklas James for even reading my work and then actually taking the time to write about it. And to everyone who voted for my poem. And for those who nominated a couple of my other things for awards. Ok, I hear that "Shut the f**K up and get off the stage" music playing now. I'm going, I'm going...
  8. Luc
    Ok...I really can't write. Everything I have ever written, if it has been anything decent at all, has been accidental--much like that monkey typing Shakespear. That is how I have felt lately. Have had quite a few moments of "YOU SUCK!" And why is this? Because that damned Spring Anthology has me sitting here with the classic 'deer in the headlights' look (which I am starting to think is actually my normal look).
     
    So anyway... I have written at least six different things and scrapped them all. I have finally come up with an idea that I think might fly. Maybe. If I can get my brain to function. Going to post a bit of what I have written so far. It may be the beginning, but it is more likely to be very near the beginning, with something else I have in my head coming before it.
     
    Does it have a prayer?
     
  9. Luc
    Sam has struggled with writing for years. At first it was the physical aspect of writing. He had fine motor delays--mostly because he is ambidextrous, which means he didn't develop a strong right or left preference, which didn't give him the normal strength and control he would have had if he had been definitely right or left handed.
     
    Sam also has ADHD. I know, EVERYONE seems to have that these days, but in his case it is legitimate. I know this because the medication he is on has made a big difference in his ability to focus on things. He still has normal 11 year old boy behavioral issues, which is fine. I don't believe in medicating away personality. But for a long time, he had difficulty writing--not the physical aspect, but the actual mental process of writing. He is lazy, too, which didn't help. If he was told he needed to write 5 sentences in a story, he would write 5 sentences. Period. For years I have tried to get him to not think about the number of sentences or paragraphs, but to just tell the story, the whole story the way he has it in his head--because that was what was important. If it takes you 5 sentences to tell the story, fine. If it takes you 10, fine also. The idea is to complete the telling of the story. So he has worked on that. *laughs* I am tough with him on writing. I insist that his punctuation, spelling and grammar be as accurate as possible. Of course, I do allow for his being 11. I might pull my hair out at the way he writes some things, but they are in his words, the words of an 11 year old.
     
    So he had an assignment due Friday--a book report. I remember the last book report he did. *shudders* He hated me by the time he finished it because I kept handing it back to him--not for spelling, punctuation or grammar (because he is pretty good with that), but for content. He had a list of things he had to address and he addressed them as if he were making a list. His book report read like a grocery list. So I expected this one to be a challenge also. I was pleasantly surprised.
     
    He did his report on Frankenstein. The book he read was an edited version for younger readers, but I have read that version and it is pretty good and true to the original. He showed me his first draft and I made a couple of suggestions, mostly trying to get him to write smoother compound sentences rather than short, choppy separate sentences. He just now emailed his final verson to me (he has had the run of my desktop since I have been attached to my laptop). I am posting it here because it's not half bad. And he is getting a major kick out of having something he has written "posted online."
     
  10. Luc
    Well, I did actually manage to write something for the Fairy Tale Anthology. I had given up completely last week--after trying for MONTHS to come up with something. I had lots of ideas that seemed good initially, but when I tried to actually write them I couldn't get anything to work. So I gave up. Decided to just throw in the towel and not worry about it.
     
    Yeah...right. Don't even ask me how many assignments I didn't complete when I was in school. I was one of those hopelessly geeky kids who wouldn't/couldn't even consider not finishing an assignment. The good thing is I pased that on to my son. The bad thing is that my mind considered the Fairy Tale Anthology an "assignment." So even though I had resigned myself to not writing anything, apparently my subconscious was wringing its hands and pacing and looking at the calendar and muttering about deadlines. So as I was starting to drift off to sleep Saturday night, I got a sudden inspiration. Ended up getting out of bed--much to Scott's annoyance--and writing.
     
    Finished writing it at 5:30 am Tuesday morning. Sent it to "he who points out things" and got it back from him tonight. Made the adjustments he "pointed out" and sent it off.
     
    Of course, now both Scott and Sam are annoyed with me because for the past 3 days (actually nights since that is when I tend to write) they have been hearing "Go away, I'm writing!" I suppose there is some validity in the "Do you always have to wait until the last minute to do everything?" that they have both been muttering. But hey, what can you do? You are either inspired or you are not.
     
    *groans* Though really, I HOPE that I can come up with something for "Endings and Beginnings" a little sooner than the last week of March.
  11. Luc
    You know it is going to be a questionable day when:

    you run out of sprinkles while baking cookies
    you step on a kitten while trying not to step on the clothes your son has left on the floor after changing into his school clothes
    you nearly fall down the stairs while carrying garbage--and end up with the garbage bag falling down the stairs instead--and it is the used kitty litter--and OF COURSE the bag breaks
    you get stopped by a cop because "Whatever you had on top of your car was flying all over the road." Turns out it was the newspaper...
    you have to stop your car and pick up the newspaper off the road--in the rain
    you come home from taking your son to school and discover the cat has closed all the windows on your computer with her ass (why is it cats INSIST on sitting on keyboards?)

    Maybe I should go back to bed and start the day over? After I go to the store and get more sprinkles and another newspaper...
  12. Luc
    "Heartwrenched, heartbroken, heart ripped out, stabbed in the back. Shall I tell her how I feel?"
     
    Yes, he did end up telling her that. He is very dramatic. No clue where he gets that from.
     
    It is so hard to watch Sam in the throes of his first real attempt at a relationship. He is so clueless. He tries so hard to say and do the right things, but everything he says and does is the wrong thing
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