I have sent Sam to his mom, so he

Ditto what sat said ^^

Don't do this. You'll only cause more hurt. You talk about how you've caused someone immeasurable pain that it's too much for you. Doing this will cause more people immeasurable pain. So don't do it.

Luc-

Unless you made someone overdose and die at gun point, then it was entirely their decision to do whatever junk they did.

It is sad, yes, but not an outcome that you had any control over.

People do what they do of their own free will. No one can make another person do anything except by force or duress.

I sing the song

because I love the man

I know that some

of you don't understand

Milk-blood

to keep from running out.

I've seen the needle

and the damage done

A little part of it in everyone

But every junkie's

like a settin' sun. -Niel Young

JS

The others are right, Luc. You'll only make it worse, NOT BETTER, for everyone if you take your life. People don't get over other people's deaths that easily (as you obviously know first hand), and deaths such as the one you're proposing are especially painful for others.

Furthermore James is right; you can't blame yourself for other people's actions. Unless you force fed him the drugs it was ultimately his actions, not yours, which led to the end result.

Apart from all that there will be a time when you feel better again; you'd might as well hang around for it. And you did promise.

PM, IM, email me, whatever if you want to talk about anything.

FEEL BETTER!

-Kevin

Luc,

Sat said it best; Don't do this, you will only destroy you life as well as the lives of those around you. Sam will not be fine, this will haunt him for the rest of his life. Think about it, and look at things through his eyes; How will he feel when he realized that, had he stayed put, you wouldn't have done this? Do you really want to inflict that kind of pain on him?

Don't do it, Luc, don't. You have a lot of people here who care about you, and you are not responsible for the actions of others.

CJ

Sam really truly only has you........................then what will he have.

All his good memories of your time together will not be able to cover the one bad memory.

Kids blame themselves, no matter what, they blame themselves.

Ex.

Doing the right thing is not doing the easy thing for yourself, you should not be taking the 'easy' way out! The right thing to do is to hold your head high and be there for your son! If you have to struggle everyday to get out of bed to make it through the day then that is what you should do even if it is just to be there for him. In the end that will have been the right thing to do instead of the selfish thing, you must be strong for him. So I must totally agree with Sat.

So you know what?...we are all here for you, just look at the replies to your blog and you can see that everyone here cares and is extremely concerned for you. So don't do anything rash! If you need anyone to talk to we are here, myself included and we are happy to talk to you about whatever. SO...Chin up, be strong and be there for those who care about you...even if you can't think of any other reason to keep going.

We care about you and I KNOW you will do the right thing...for Sam!

Greg

Luc...

Imagine Sam 10 years from now... thinking that you CHOSE to abandon him, that you thought that it was more important to stop your own hurting, than it was to give him something you and I don't have; a life that he can live happily without the first third of the year threatening your very survival from now until forever. If you do what it sounds like you are going to do, all you will succeed in doing is the one thing you say you are trying to stop from happening. You will be forever and permanently hurting and scarring Sam for the rest of his life. I'm going to repeat that in case you don't understand the weight of it, or are overlooking it... THE REST OF HIS LIFE, Luc.

I've talked to you about Sam, and about Annemarie, and I know you're a good dad and you love that boy like crazy. The thing is... you're being selfish. I'm sorry that you're hurting, and I'm sorry you feel a guilt so heavy you can't find any other escape that will cease the pain, and I'm sorry that somewhere along the way you got just enough mixed up to lose sight of what's important in this life we have that is far too short.

I know you said you caused someone else to hurt themselves, but the thing with that is... I know, even now, as I sit here and type this to you, that you are going to do whatever it is YOU want to do. It would be nice to think that my words, or the words of one of the other people here that have grown to love you, would help you to find your way again, but I know you are going to do what YOU want to do no matter what I say. In that same right, no one would hold you accountable for someone else's actions, just like I would, and will, only hold you responsible for yours and the subsequent detrament and pain that will remain after you no longer do.

There are things you can control in life, not many, but a few, and your actions are one of them. You gave up your right to be selfish when you decided to commit the act that made you a dad to Sam. I know that it's generally unfair that we are forced to put our own happiness, and well being, and our dreams second to our childrens, but too f**king bad, Luc, that's the deal, and you don't get to say 'I'm taking my ball and going home now since I'm not having fun anymore'.

I know we don't talk much, and who knows if we'll ever speak again... well, you know, but what I do know is that the world would be out one hell of a heart, and Sam would be out the one father he has... because you gave up. You chose to give up.

My heart hurts for you Luc...

Love you,

Vivian

Life is a real bitch, and your pain is not my pain, so I can't imagine how you feel ... however your life is not your own to dispose of as you see fit, until Sam is much, much older.

You are much loved, and because of that, and because of who you are, you simply can't bring so much pain to so many.

Please, please, don't be an utter arse.

Camy

i'm sorry this is all my fault and your friends who blame me on msn were right it is my fault, i never wanted you to hurt yourself or take sams dad away and the things i blamed you for are all my problems and are not your fault but this is my fault and i am so sorry to you and everyone but that sounds pathetic in light of everything so bye luc and everyone.

Mark

No Mark... no...

Just like it's not his fault that you did whatever it was that you did, it's not your fault he does what he does. You can be sorry, but that doesn't make it your fault or your responsibility, there is quite a fine distinction there. Please see it. And, for what it's worth, I'm sorry, too, that you have been hurting, and I hope that you don't have any more reasons to hurt because of this...

Hugs to you,

Viv

Call them, talk to them, they are there to listen:

AGORA Crisis Center Helpline

(505) 277-3013

Luc,

It's been a while since you and I last had any contact - back when I was managing your site here, I think - but I hope you know that in the time I worked with you I came to think of you as a friend. You're a great guy with an enormous talent and I've got nothing but respect for you. Given that, I hope you'll take what I'm about to say in the spirit in which it's intended.

SNAP OUT OF IT!

One of the things you surrender when you become a parent is the right to give up on life. You've got someone else to think about, someone who needs you, so no matter how shitty you're feeling you pick yourself up and do whatever it takes to keep on going. You've got plenty of people on here you can talk to and while talking may not feel like it can help at the moment, eventually it will.

You're in pain, I understand that, and if there's anything I can do to help, I will. However, if you do something stupid now you will not get rid of your pain - you'll just spread it around to others. I don't know much about Kyle, but I do know that what he did was selfish. Maybe he felt like he had no other choice, but even so, it was selfish. By doing what he did he has caused you immeasurable pain and guilt. You know how much it hurt - don't you dare hurt anyone else that way.

Contact me if you want to talk, or contact someone, anyone, on here, in real life, even a complete stranger on a helpline, but don't you dare do something stupid that might rob this world of a great guy and cause pain to the people who care about you.

Mark,

Don't you dare think that any of this is your fault. I don't know what's been said and done, but we are all responsible for our own actions. You are no more to blame for Luc's actions than he is for Kyle's. If you've said or done something to feel guilty for, I hope you have the opportunity to make amends for it, but you should not feel guilt if you are robbed of that opportunity. If anyone has made you feel as though you're to blame for this, send them my way and I'll introduce them to the end of my boot.

Rob

Luc,

I'm sorry I haven't been around a lot lately. Maybe if I had been around for you to talk to, things wouldn't be as bad as they seem. I just read Mark's posting of Scott's e-mail, so I'm glad you're ok and are in the hospital.

And not to sound insensitive or anything, but GET YOUR SH*T together! If I EVER hear you say anything that incredibly STUPID again, I will drive up there, hunt down your pasty white butt, and throw a 20kg cast iron Buddha statue at your head. Don't you EVER, EVER, EVER scare any of us here like that again. There are people out there (including here) who care about you and would do anything to help you through whatever issues you think you're going through. I may have been busy lately, but I would drop everything I'm doing to help you if you'd just asked.

And Sharon - YOU TELL HIM, GIRL!!! *woot*

*Stomps off in an annoyed huff*

Love,

Buddha

I