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I think that's totally it: Duncan is neither happy nor unhappy. He's very settled, very afraid of being alone--and in the back of his mind, he thinks that without Sebastien he would be, so he tolerates a lot. Kevin presents a lot of uncertainties for him, and Duncan's someone who likes to stay in control. They've both been hurt in the past, and I think they're both kind of skirting around the idea that they're developing feelings for each other--not just because of Sebastien but because Kevin is leaving in a few months. But like I've said, there's still a lot of story left--this is about the halfway point. And I have a pretty good idea of how each plotline is going to wrap up (which I really didn't when I started down this road--a change for me, since generally I'm a big outliner.)

Definitely lots of story left--we’re only about halfway! (It’s plotted for 10 chapters right now, but it might be more based on how they break down.) Glad you’re liking the characters--they’ve all been very enjoyable to write. Glad you’re liking it too!

Thanks! Kevin was always one of my favorite characters in “Becker,” so it’s been great to kind of take him off the reservation a little bit. There’s a lot to dig into--it’s actually surprised me a bit how fun it is.

Thanks. This chapter took a very long while to come together. (Especially the Matt scenes, which took a lot of finessing to get right.) But I'm glad you're enjoying it--it's been a fun project to write.

Haha, I can’t give too much away, but there’s resolution in the present storyline for each of the “three men left behind” from the description (and there are three, though the third one might not be entirely obvious yet.) I can’t promise a huge declaration, or even an in-person appearance, but they all intersect with the present in an important way.

Yeah, it’s been fun unraveling him a bit. He became a big character in “Becker,” obviously, but he developed a lot in my head--even though much of it only made it into “Becker” as subtext--so it’s been fun putting it to text. In some ways, I do think Kevin sees himself as a lone wolf, even as he tries not to be--I don’t know exactly where he’ll find peace, or if he will, but it’s worth noting he’s not completely alone either way.

It’s been fun taking the crumbs dropped about Kevin from “Becker” and getting to develop them… his OCD, most notably, because I think it’s one of those things he’s been conditioned to hide from an early age (along with being gay.) But yeah, I think Kevin absolutely tries to erase his humble upbringing by winning the acceptance of the rich kids, even as he resents them for being born into it. I always thought the New York chapter of “Becker” was kind of an inflection point for Kevin: it’s the moment where he rejects that, and chooses to be a more authentic version of himself. (Actually, that was the point where everything I was writing in their relationships was kind of a slow-motion breakup.) I think Kevin’s starting to realize what he needs to be happy, though, even if it’s not necessarily what he expected.

Peeling back the layers of Kevin has been a lot of fun, because he really started as such a periphery character--in the earliest drafts of Becker, he wasn’t supposed to have as big of a role as he ultimately did. But it’s been fun filling in the blanks, based on what we already know about the character, and I hope I’ve been able to stay true to that. There’s definitely a common thread between Matt, Becker, and Duncan though, even though they’re all pretty different. I think each of them are (ultimately) going to be important for his growth as a person.

Glad you’re enjoying it! Duncan’s an interesting character to me: he’s a good person, but someone who doesn’t know how to break out of his own unhappiness. He and Kevin obviously aren't on the healthiest footing, as Aaron was able to bring to the surface, no matter how much Kevin might try to sweep it under the rug. But things are moving quickly--plenty of more developments to come.

“Dad, just tie it for him,” Matt said, glancing at his watch--his dad’s watch, gold, on loan for the evening. “We don’t have time for you to teach him.” Van Barber didn’t respond. He was standing behind me in the mirror in Matt’s bathroom, holding two edge of my tie, began tangling them together. “No seventeen-year-old man should not know how to tie a tie, I don’t care if you’re five minutes late to prom,” he replied. He crossed the two ends over each other. “First you cross the wide e

I always imagined Becker being average-ish height. 5’9, 5’10. Kevin’s taller though: over six feet, so it’s still almost four inches. (And he’s strong.)

I think Becker's someone with a lot of self-doubt; in the back of his mind, he can't really understand why anyone would love him, let alone Kevin (or his family.) But Becker is picking himself up, in a way. It's not easy, but we're not even halfway through this story--still lots to come!

Haha, glad I could help! Sorry it took so long... making sure the next one comes faster!

Thanks. I actually started the early drafts of this story back in 2013, when I was getting over a breakup (actually, the first draft of Kevin and Becker's breakup was one of the first things I wrote--they were, alas, always heading towards that scene, which became increasingly tragic as I fleshed out their relationship.) But my own breakup was very much on my mind when I wrote the early draft of this semester. It really is one step forward, one step backwards, and I think that's how it is for Becker. Connor or not, he's definitely not over Kevin yet, and I think he realizes that.

Glad you're enjoying it--I really wanted to make sure the characters read as people, rather than wish fulfillment objects. I always hated the gay fiction where the young couple comes together and the story is all sunshine and functionality, because it's never like that. Becker and Kevin both have their own issues, their own biases, and their own goals, and you're right: they did need to grow (and grow apart), because as cute as their relationship could be, there were certainly some core problems. But like I've always said: Kevin's only gone for the semester, and he'll be back in this story when he returns.

I think, like anything, you never forget your first love... and Kevin is definitely Becker's. Becker also isn't really great at getting over things; I always pictured him as someone who would file away past grievances and silently hold them against someone (though there's really nothing in the text to really support that.) He's very hurt by Kevin, though, and I think they're both on the rebound in different ways and at different stages.

Glad you're enjoying both of them! It's been fun to see them both play out simultaneously, especially when plot points (like Kevin's email, in this chapter) overlap between the two stories. There's a handful of moments where this happens, actually, which is why I keep having to control pacing between the two stories--probably the most frustrating part, because sometimes I get really into one story but have to put it on hold because I can't let myself get too far ahead.

Glad you're enjoying it! I definitely think it's important to let Kevin's side of the story come through, as it involves Becker, and to flesh him out a little more. It's a fine line to walk in the "present day" (really, 2008) segment of the story, between revealing too much or withholding too much about the past segments, but I think all the different storylines kind of help round out Kevin in a way we didn't necessarily get to see through Becker's POV.

Wow, you're totally right. Fixed. (I'm high school class of 2006; I fell into familiarity.) Thanks!

I logged onto ManFind, which I hadn’t been on in almost a year. Staring back at me was my old photo, pre-Kevin: neck-down, shirtless in a swimsuit, in the Outer Banks, summer of 2006. Age: 18. Height: 5’10”. Build: Swimmers. Out: No. Dick: 7”, Cut. Position: Top/Vers. It was like senior year at the Harrington School, when we dug up the time capsule from fifth grade? And everything just seemed awkward and dated, too recent for nostalgia. Part of the post-Kevin rebuilding of Peter Adam

First of all, thanks—it’s great to know people are enjoying the story! I actually kept waffling on whether or not to write this story in the first place, because I didn’t want to detract from Becker--Becker's kind of self-involved, and I liked the idea of having a tight universe where everything is filtered through his own sense of self. I had toyed around with doing a Kevin story for a while, but it was actually the response I got from a lot of people on here after I wrote the “Best Four Years” breakup chapter that convinced me to finally take the plunge: I thought Kevin needed a chance to tell his side of the story. But I agree: I think giving another perspective for those pivotal year of their relationship really helps both stories.

Thanks! Becker has a place in my heart, definitely. He’s done some dickish things but I don’t think he’s a bad guy either.

Thanks—I wanted Kevin’s story to be a bit fractured and nonlinear, because I think that’s how his mind works. (Also, for practical reasons: this story’s only going to be 10-12 chapters and, with three distinct plotlines, I don’t have a lot of breathing room like I do in a rambling epic like “Best Four Years.”) And I’m the same way about first love: it’s always so touching in fiction because it so rarely works out in real life. I can't really say much without giving away the ending of this story, but hopefully no one's disappointed!

Thanks. I think, unlike Becker, it’s hard for Kevin to compartmentalize and for him to ignore parts of himself—so experiences tend to build in layers. But, as he puts it, each experience is “just a copy of a copy of a copy of the old ones, smudged and blurred together from generation loss.” I think he’s starting to realize that moving on to the next thing, like he’s done his whole life, isn’t always a good thing.

“Okay,” Matt Barber said, from the passenger seat of his new Mitsubishi Eclipse. “Go to the end of the row, hang a right.” We were in the empty student parking lot at Las Palomas High School on a Saturday afternoon. Matt Barber had taken it upon himself to teach me how to drive. September of 2003, beginning of our junior year. Matt had been gone for the bulk of the summer. Camp counselor at a Mormon summer camp in Big Bear. Ninety minutes away, but might as well have been on