oat327
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Everything posted by oat327
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Thanks so much! A ton happens in sophomore year—it’s going to be far more plot-driven than freshman year—so I hope you enjoy it. Lots to come.
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Yeah, it was really unexpected but watershed moment for understanding the character when I thought about “naming” his different selves. It’s always been bubbling under the surface, but I think now Becker himself kind of understands what he’s doing. Which is growth! (Theoretically.) Thanks for reading and commenting!
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In the earliest drafts of this story, Kevin was a much smaller character—he and Becker still dated, but he had a lot fewer scenes—but he’s the type of character who insists on himself being featured. He’s fun to write. He’s more well-adjusted than Becker—he doesn’t have the same non-gay hangups—but, in some ways, he’s very similar: there’s turmoil under nice packaging. Becker’s journey is interesting—ultimately, we know where it’s headed, because you can’t keep three selves and a big secret like sexuality hidden, but it’s going to get fun to watch him wrestle with stuff moving forward as he realizes that. Thanks for reading!
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Thanks for reading! The chapter after this one is a lot less heavy, with tying up loose plotlines, but then we're jumping right into sophomore year with chapter 22--and there's plenty to come. I've written through the beginning of senior year--though it's extremely sketched in places and unedited--but sophomore year is my favorite, because it's when he wrangles with these issues the most.
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And I think that’s certainly how Becker sees himself: a mess, only barely held together by a glossy facade. The whole idea of Becker having three names came up somewhat accidentally—my sister perennially comments, disapprovingly, that as an adult I use my full name rather than my childhood nickname—but it was one of the most important discoveries about who Becker is and how he acts. Because, in some ways, Becker really is three different people—and he’s going to have to reconcile all of them, sooner or later. I don't think he's a hopeless case--but I do think it's a much harder and longer process than just coming out for him.
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Thanks! Justine is a super fun character to throw into the mix, because Becker's so carefully maintained his image at school--and she's coming like a nuclear bomb from a different world of his. But, like you said, he is falling for Kevin, and that will certainly color things he does in coming chapters. Thanks for reading!
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“You’re going to be living at the house for the next week,” Harry Capuano told us, crisply, pacing around the front of the chapter room on Sunday night. “No booze unless Morton or I give it to you. Or you’ll be depledged. You won’t be allowed to leave, except for class. Or you’ll be depledged. And I have your class schedules, so don’t try to bullshit me. When you go grab food, be in groups of four or more pledges. Or you’ll be depledged. This week isn’t about doing your own shit. It’s about your
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There's definitely a lot of ways their relationship will grow (there's three more years of story still to come, although freshman is by far the longest) but glad you're enjoying it. Next chapter has just been posted!
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“So, Justine,” Kevin said, settling into the chair across from her, looking exceptionally smug with himself. We had a patio table outside The Boot, spoils of arriving early to happy hour: we were already on our second round. “Adam says you’re thinking of coming to Tulane next year.” Adam--when had Kevin Malley ever called me Adam? It had been roughly twenty seconds since Kevin and Justine collided like two 747s on a foggy runway in Tenerife, and we were already off to this kind of inauspicious
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Thanks for reviewing! Kevin definitely will continue to be fleshed out (especially in the first few chapters of sophomore year), because there's much more to him than meets the eye. And yes, Becker's worlds colliding will hopefully live up to expectations! It's been fun playing with the two sides of him--since the division is so much more black and white in his own head.
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Thanks! Justine's visit should be interesting--it's a section I'm only writing for the first time now (I had it as "come back to later" in the original draft), so it's fun fleshing it all out, finally. At this point, there's only two (maybe three, depending on how I cut it) chapters left of freshman year--so things are definitely moving around. But, flip side, there's still three more years of plot beyond that, so don't expect anything to be resolved too neatly.
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Kevin was pointedly not talking to me for the remainder of the night, which wasn’t exactly surprising. He didn’t seem angry—it wasn’t like the subtle freeze out he had been experimenting with for the last two weeks—but more contemplative. I could not exactly explain what the difference was, because it didn’t quite manifest itself externally, but I could feel it. I knew it. And I felt like I had a pretty good idea on the thoughts going back and forth through the head of Kevin Malley: the voluptu
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Glad you’re enjoying it. I keep trying to make sure things don’t get too stale!
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Plenty of twists and turns still to come—we’re still in the first (of four!) years with these characters.
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Glad you enjoyed it. It’s a lot of fun writing these characters as they become closer—I feel like, in many ways, the people Becker's closest with are the first ones he lashes out at.
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You'll have to keep reading! New chapter is posted.
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I love that you picked up on the similarities between the relationships—it’s not always a perfect match, but a lot of what’s going on in the main plot has parallels throughout the story. Because that’s (one of) Becker’s biggest problems: he sees himself and his problems as so radically from the things that are simultaneously happening to everyone around him, when actually his problems are fairly regular, if he learned to get out of his own way. And I think the thing with Erik is we’re not in his point-of-view (and he's also kind of an asshole), so he comes off as less sympathetic—he’s a character that gets a lot of development further on.
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We were blindfolded in the basement at the Iota Chi house, sitting in a circle on the concrete floor, holding hands. I was between Erik and Eddie Darien. It was uncomfortably silent--we were told not to talk--and I knew Brett Morton was somewhere in the room. He would yell for someone to be quiet every so often; I’d hear the pages shuffling from whatever book he was reading, the occasional clink of a beer bottle or the bite of an apple. Time seemed to stand still in the silence and darkness. W
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If there was one human being in the known universe that I did not want to spend twenty hours trapped next to in Rob Winslow’s Sebring, it was Patrick Sullivan. But because life was cripplingly unfair, and I was cripplingly unlucky, there we were. It had taken us all the way to Laplace, on the western outskirts of the New Orleans suburbs, for either of us to utter one word to each--sparking the first of which I could only imagine would be a tortured series of halting conversations over the next
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Thanks—missed posting this too! Next chapter is coming tonight, so not too far off. It’s not the arrival of Becker’s sister—that’s one or two chapters away, depending on how I cut the chapters—but I promise it’s a good one!
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Thanks—glad you enjoyed this chapter. Kevin ultimately became a much larger part of this story than he was designed to be, because he’s such a contradiction. His and Becker’s mutual stubbornness is one of my favorite elements I never anticipated developing—they really refuse to let the other one get the upper hand in their relationship, for better or worse. I’m also excited for you all to see his sister’s arrival—not because it’s the climax of this story by any means, but just because Becker is someone who finds so much comfort in having every aspect of his life so compartmentalized, even down to the name he uses. It's a terrible confluence of worlds for him, which hopefully will make it a very interesting series of events. Hope you’ll enjoy the chapters to come!
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Thanks! I missed writing this too—work intervened for a few months. But I’ve written far more of the unedited draft than has been posted on here so, rest assured, it’ll all surface at some point; it’s just a matter of editing. And yeah, I’m with you: Tripp definitely has the biggest soft spot for me among these characters, just because he’s the most traditionally nice one. There’s still a lot of this story left to come, so plenty of development in his character, but at his core he’s really just a loyal guy with a good heart. Next chapter should be coming tomorrow—did a lot of editing while in transit on the holiday weekend!
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I woke up on Mardi Gras Day with a throbbing head and a sore ass. Because Kevin had fucked me the night before. “We should go to Biloxi,” he had said, leaning back against the headboard, smoking a very self-satisfied bowl after it was done. My underwear had been cast off in Kevin’s haste to penetrate; I was drunkenly trying to get my arm far enough under the bed to reach them. “Why Biloxi?” I asked, finally snagging the catch. “We can’t gamble.” He shrugged, exhaled a ribbon of smoke. “Just
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Thanks for reading! Glad you're enjoying it. I actually put a ton of thought into the number of sex scenes when I started writing this--specifically because of what I figured were audience expectations (which is the reason the first chapter ends with sex, actually; it didn't in the first draft.) Ultimately, I decided I had to remain true to the character and the situations--so he, alas, winds up often as sexually-frustrated as any eighteen-year-old closet case. But he's got Kevin now--so, rest assured, he'll be having a little more fun in coming chapters.
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More is coming, I promise! Thanks for the review. Adam is definitely a conflicted character--he's based off kind of my worst impulses, in some ways--but the stakes are definitely getting higher for him.
