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Okay, I will finish typing this in a min…after I finish fanning myself because that was effing hot as hell Timothy! I feel like I need to defend you from some of the reviews, but I will leave that in your capable hands. I want to make a few points about this chapter that I thought were wonderful. One, thank you for Katherine. She gave some wonderful advice to Russell, but better than the advice she made him think about his life experiences in a different perspective and realize that talking about things with someone that cares can be helpful. What a gift that is to both Russell and Jacob. Two, I love the way Russell is continuing to become more and more comfortable in his own skin. At first I thought about writing that he was becoming more comfortable in his relationship, but really while that is true it is really his self-acceptance and personal revelations and embracing those revelations when is wraps his head around them that allow us to continue to watch his personality emerge and blossom. Not far into this chapter I was already thinking, “oh that dirty little naughty boy, he needs a spanking and doesn’t even know it yet!” And I am betting that he is going to work that out pretty soon, especially with his reaction to the words “bad boy.” I mean the growth we have already seen has been amazing, I am so happy for Russell that he is finding himself. I mean putting himself out there as loving Jacob enough to marry him was leaps and bound different from the pliable young boy that didn’t express himself at all at the beginning of the story. And finally to build upon my initial statement, damn I love that combination of sweet, protective, and dirty honesty that is Jacob and how he loves. I expected no less from Jacob than to have him be a dirty talker during sex. There is something so openly honest about being able to let go like that during sex that is sexy as hell. Love the dirty Jacob! I also love the tender way it is all done and expressed by Jacob. Whether they explore sub/dom or BDSM or decide to immerse themselves in one or both in no way procludes them from being a truly awesome love story. Whatever two consenting adults connect and express themselves sexually with is an expression of love if it is done with love. I didn’t read this like Jacob was instinctually a dom, but rather that he was certainly more than willing to explore it and become one if it is what he needs to be to complete Russell. That is a powerful expression of love if you ask me, being willing to explore and try something new and different to see if it works for the two of you as a whole. Personally I think Jacob’s personality wouldn’t lend itself to being a dom in all aspects of their relationship, but I don’t think he will have any issues being in charge in the bedroom (or wherever they are when they are being intimate)! I think it takes talent to write a sex scene and both make it dirty and stimulating and still express the love in the characters hearts. I think you did a wonderful job of both.

Aww, look at sexy little Russell at the end of this chapter! Go "silly boy" as Jacob called him. He may have been in the throes of passion and overloaded on emotions and all other forms of stimulation but he still managed to get out the just of his needs and desires to Jacob. For Russell that is a pretty big evolution. Of course, being the team Jacob (well, in your story anyway) supporter that I am, I am giving most of the credit for the evolution to Jacob and his steady unwavering love and support and specific communication of his needs to Russell. Either way, Russell is growing and maturing and realizing his own needs the longer is is in this safe and nurturing environment. Good for him in realizing he can't substitute Jacob for his father in his life but he needs to work on himself, his self image and needs, if he is to be an equal in a relationship and be happy. That in and of itself is a huge step for Russell from the "sullen teen" that showed up in Denmark. May favorite part of the chapter was when Jacob again firmly advocated his most basic needs from their relationship in unequivocal terms and Russell's first reaction was absolute acceptance and agreement to Jacobs demands. Not because he gave in easily, but because I have sensed that strong sense of loyalty in Russell from the beginning of the story. From his listening to his mother without hesitation to him doing whatever he needed to win his father's approval to his idolization of Evan. All of his musings about his twin and his father revealed a fiercely loyal person. It is easy to see a disagreeable parent as an ass or a bother, but Russell never thought of him like that. More like he tried to see the good and reason why he was like he was. Some see weakness. I saw loyalty. Same with Evan. He could easily have resented him for the way her percieved Evan and better looking, more charming, more talented etc. Instead he focused on how to coexist in his percieved but nonexistent inferiority and embrace that Evan's success allowed him to be his naturally introverted self. Again, a weaker person would have resented that perception, Russell's loyalty made his seek out the good in the situation. I was so excited to see that even with his self worth issues that he recognises this wonderful quality in himself. Loyalty is an exceptional quality. Another slow building in their relationship in this chapter with Jacob nudging Russell to do things outside of his comfort zone, but allowing him to make his own decisions and accepting them. That acceptance might have made the decision to come out to Evan easier than if he had insisted. Ultimately Russell is a cautious person and despite recent revelations and newly found relationship he is not impulsive. I had a strong feeling he was ultimately going to come out and choose to stay with Jacob, he just needed to think it through and get the facts and feelings from Evan first. As I said earlier, I am glad that Russell is thinking things through and that he recognizes he and Jacob need to be equals etc. I do believe however, that if you are a naturally submissive person in a relationship and the other is naturally more dominant in personality that there is nothing wrong with that dynamic. That is where I see this heading and I couldn't be happier for the both of them if it does. The belief that a submissive/dominant dynamic in a relationships is somehow unequal isn't true if it is really a relationship.

That was as far as I got, because my protective Viking grabbed hold and jerked me into his lap. “Russell, I love you for fuck’s sake. When you ignore me, it hurts so much. Nothing you can tell me could be worse than you shutting me out. I WANT you to tell me your worries, partly so I can help you deal with them, but also because I want us to be close in every way, emotionally, physically, spiritually. I want you to talk about your dreams and fears and hopes and wishes, to share yourself with me. And the physical part of sharing, including sex, is actually less important than the mental connection. Making love to your body will do nothing for me, if you don’t let me make love to your mind and your soul.” Well good Lord, no wonder Russell broke down in uncharacteristic sobs. Hell, I melted on the spot and I was just reading it! Jacob is a gem. When you find a keeper like that you hold on with both hands and your heart. I also found it very telling when a little later in this chapter is was Jacob again doing the holding on with both hands and his heart when Russell was ready to concede he fell in love with a man that circumstances would pull away from him. The "silly boy" line was perfect. I have a weak spot for stories and characters that feel that instant or intense attraction, whether it be physical or emotional or both, and grab on to it instead of thinking it is too soon or crazy. That being said, of course I loved that Jacob so fully embraced his feelings and the new relationship with Russell; and I understand why Russell needed slightly more reassurance and reminding before he belived he was loved. Even so, you have added some layers to their acceptance in this chapter that were beautiful to read. The way that Jacob's instincts concerning Russell's needs are loving and yet firm. Loving in that he reads and takes care of his love's burgeoning sexual needs with him being so new to sharing his body with a lover, while simultaneously supressing his own rising needs for a bit until he can ease Russel into pleasing him as well. Firm because while he constantly attending to Russell's needs emotionally he is also very frank in expressing his own needs and feelings and expectations to Russell, who clearly needs to have someone be very specific with him. Loving and firm in asking for others opinions about Russell's appearance because while he knows it will embarass his love he knows he needs to hear it. There is a fine line between reinforcement and brow-beating and Jacob seems to walk just on the loving and reinforcement side of that line even though he surely knows that with Russell's personality he could easily assume the other role just as his father had conditioned him to accept. Then there is the layer that you added in there where Russell's introverted musing were addressed and Jacob came up with a lovely solution to help them both cope with the emotional effects of that type of trip inside one's own head for too long. Well done Timothy. Such a lovely attraction you have portrayed and added layer upon layer of strength to it. The camping is serving to build their strength as a couple and self discovery and newfound self image for a conflicted but emotionally needy Russell. It was super telling that he realized that his twin was his ideal of a perfect man until Jacob. To unseat a twin is a powerful thing.

The Unexpected Holiday was an unexpected gift. A slow but sure build. Small telling pieces of information about Russell on the way paint the pained picture of a cluelessly closeted gay young man that has no idea and an awful low self esteem. Seems like the long dreadful illness added to Russell's self image issues but sounds as if the seeds were there before the illness. Add to that his twin being all but ripped from his life and him thrust into hiding and as the reader I was already feeling terrible for this kid. Then along comes Jacob. Sweet and tender but firm and steady. Such a good person to shelter and gentle the shy clueless Russell along. Jacob even manages to pull the introverted Russell out of his own head and make him engage and enjoy himself as he slowly helps him shape up. So sweet when they stayed for a few days when Russell was so sore, even while he kept him moving so he didn't lose ground. Everything about Jacob screams of a nurturer. Russell seems to recognize when Jacob's behavior seems to differ from what Russell thinks it should be, so on some level he is observant and intuitive. But with his sheltered Catholic upbringing and without the life experiences to put the behavior he notices into perspective he shrugs it all off because he so enjoys his time and interactions with Jacob. As well he should, they seem to almost perfectly compliment each other. I absolutely love the descriptions of them walking in nature and Jacob rambling away and only occasionally checking to see that Russell isn't bored or tired of him and Russell all the while loving not having to carry his end of the conversation. Sometimes listening intently and sometimes letting his mind wander and just sort of taking comfort in listening the Jacob. So sweet. Then it build to a more sensual level. The dirty looks from the girls after they speak with Jacob and the relief when Jacob isn't interested in them. The urge to follow Jacob, the spectacular peep show. Then getting caught. The following quotes tell me what I need to know about Jacob. "It's time for us to be honest with each other, Russell. I was delighted to have you watch me yesterday. I'd almost given up on you." What? I was even more confused now. "Jacob, my protective Viking who cradled me in his strong arms, soothing me with soft kisses on my hair and whispering my name over and over. "Russell, shush now, Russell my sweet, shshh, Russell, don't be upset, please. Russell, oh Russell can't you see?" A sad, then sweet, then sexy, then tense, then stimulating chapter that had me completely invested in their story and their success together by the end.

“I know, Arron, but it’s no dream; it’s more real than anything I’ve ever felt. I’ve never had this sense of belonging to someone before. Thank you for loving me, Baby.”. Aww. How sweet is Chet? He gets extra points for carrying Arron over the threshold too. I love that Arron makes Chet feel special and equal. I love it even more that Arron feels special for being able to do that for the love of his life. I also have to say that in this chapter I felt that the line about Arron taking charge even though Chet was on top was so fitting. Even in the roles they are more used to you can feel how comfortable they are with allowing the other to take control, even loving it when it happens. I think we all know that in most relationships there is always a more dominate personality and one that is a bit more submissive. There are degrees to this dynamic but true equality in a relationship is an ever waxin!g and waning thing. Feels like Chet edges out slightly on the dominant side and Arron slightly on the more submissive side with the mantle passing a bit back and forth only because of the total love and admission to themselves that the others owns them completely. Loved the lock stock and barrel line about being owned. If I have a criticism this time is simply that it had to end here. Yes I realize that we will see and hear more from and about them in COTT, but it isn't the same as sharing their story and watching their love through your eyes. That I will ruly miss Gary. It makes me sad, but as a dear friend you can try to make it up to me by telling me that there is a story in that romantic and sexy mind of yours for Jeremy that you about to share with the rest of us! I am looking at pics for him already but haven't been able to decide on one yet.

Two sentences... "That’s when he could put a name to it. Love. Unbelievable in both the speed and the depth of it, but real nonetheless." and... "The man really did touch his heart. Looking at his handsome, sleeping face, he had no doubts this was going to work. His search and loneliness were over, and the life he had craved for a long time had finally begun." Okay, I am officially on the Chet bandwagon. I of course had a picture of Chet picked out for quite a while, since he was introduced in COTT actually. However, I am not quite sure why I saw him that way. In my head he looked older than his 27 years and was bald and a bit stocky. That however doesn't match your constant descriptions, so I tried for as close to your description as possible. On with the review. Those two sentences I quoted touched my heart. You have a capacity to express feelings that is delicious to read and feel through your writing. I am so glad Arron got to be the top first and that Chet established that as something he enjoyed right from jump in the physical aspect of their relationship. Chet earned his stripes for that. The fact that he enjoyed it as much as he did only proves it wasn't much of a sacrifice, but doesn't take away from the fact that as mostly a top himself he still put Arron's emotional and physical needs first. That says it all really. And my sweet Arron is settling in and accepting he deserves this and this is real as evidenced by him pushing for Chet to move in right away. Go on Arron, if you want it, speak up and advocate for your happiness. No doubt that will be right around the corner. I'm not about to touch the love scene in review. Let's just leave it at stimulating and exquisite.

"It was a delicious feeling, one that was wondrously new to him. Any supposed connection before this had turned out to be a sham." That sentence sums up this whole chapter nicely for me. Arron is figuring out what this is, is the real deal and what he had before was (as you say) just another song and dance. Maybe it was a love song but it now is "Thank God and Greyhouse She's Gone." I think what Chet realized quickly with Ian's visit, Arron is realizing a little more slowly about his old relationship. That while there was something, it wasn't true love and it was the betrayal that hurt worse than the loss of the relationship. I mean if you are still as mad at the best friend as you are the ex, that should tell you something. This is a multiple reread for me because I wanted to give you reviews like you asked, but I have to say I see a little more each time. One thing this chapter brings to mind is something I felt the first time through. I remember thinking this would be an awesome love story if they would just stop bringing up their exes all the time. I didn't mean to each other either, you should be able to talk about anything with your love. I mean each of them in their own head. Always comparing to the ex or dredging up the pain and hurt. And while I still feel tinges of that sentiment, I am understanding more as I reread that it isn't about Dwayne or Ian, it is about the hurt and the damage done and the weariness from the solitude that has them constantly comparing and contrasting in their heads. And while I may feel that one year and several years for Arron should be enough time to leave it in the past, that's each persons pain to deal with however they cope with it. I am just glad they found each other and grabbed on with both hands. I agree that you have a knack for writing love scenes, not sex scenes. For those of us that love the sex in the story but want it to mean something, you are one of the writers that spoil us.

And this is why I love you Gary! No long drawn out unneeded drama. What happened happened and they dealt with it like all us grown ups have to. I remember you saying you didn't know why it did, but this story really meant a great deal to you. It should, and this chapter is really meaningful. Arron, bless him. I wept for him through his breakdown while having flashbacks to Michael in the floor of his parents house. The big difference here is that Arron doesn't have a Colleen or a Big Mike. Chet doesn't have them either. What they have are a couple of dipshit exes that hurt them in ways that make it hard to reconnect and trust again. Apparently Arron was more hurt than Chet even, and still he manages to pull himself out of his breakdown and his head out of Dwayne's ass and accept what he feels as real, trust in a man that he feels is worthy, and finds the courage to fight for both. Even if he is tilting at windmills, the fact that he plucked up the courage to fight is still important for a wounded soldier. I wanted to put up a pic for Chet, but it will have to wait. I love his reaction to Arron coming back but I think the still fragile Arron has so won my heart I will leave him up a while longer.

I usually don't read all of the reviews before I put my own out there, but on this chapter I did. At first I was shocked at all the people mad at Arron. Really? I don't think he overreacted, I think he was devestated. Of course the more I read the more I realized more people were at least dissappointed in Chet than mad at Arron. .“Yeah, I’m good at it… guaranteed. I’ve had some practice. That reminds me… something happened I need to tell you about.” Really Chet, that reminds me? Like it wasn't a big deal still? I agree about how your writing built the tension on which house they were going back to, but I got the feeling from a few reviews that some people thought that Chet intentionally wanted to go back to Arron's house. I don't think that is the case, that is the only time I am taking up for Chet in this matter. I do like that he tried very hard to talk Arron down while he was freaking out, but again I was a little dismayed how he didn't see this coming. The kid took oxy and alcohol just to come talk to him and then the tears and the pity party. Surely he didn't think letting him lock up behind himself was going to work out well. Preoccupied with Arron or not, there was one bad decision after another from Chet. Letting him in to begin with, not calling him a cab, not locking his door, not admitting he was seeing someone else (although I get why that one happened), not seeing him on his way in the morning, and not telling Arron when there were so many opportunities. I like that he admitted he fucked up, but in the same breath he said if he had known Ian was still there he would have told him sooner - still like it was no big deal. Rule number one in any relationship, new or not, say to yourself if the other person were doing this how would I feel. The second he thought that hugging a naked ex felt like cheating on Arron he should the lightbulb should have went off and he should have sought Arron out for a discussion. I imaging walking in to see a nearly naked Dwayne would make Chet lose his calm good guy real fast. All that to say what this chapter really made me feel. I want to hug Arron like a mother and soothe him until he is coherent then make him go back and find out what in the hell is really going on. Chet I want to smack upside his head and yell at him for being so naive and easily manipulated, then I would hug him. No soothing though. Ian, well I don't think he warrants much effort. There will always be an Ian around.

I loved the chapter and the dynamics between the two of them. Good for you Arron, I bet the walkaway view is worth paying for. I love how Chet makes Arron happy and reassures him when he needs it even if he isn't trying. What I don't love is how Arron apparently makes Chet forget everything else in his life, like I don't know - oh yeah that his georgeous ex crawled in the bed naked last night trying to get him back. Come on I can't be the only one that thought the early morning call was to discuss that with Arron. I also can't be the only one that was shaking their head at the end of the chapter thinking, "oh Chet, you stupid in love bastard you have missed so many opportunities to discuss something very important." Either Chet has really chalked Ian's visit up to being unimportant or you are a master at stretching the tension. I'm willing to bet a little of both.

I knew it dammit! Always something to complicate something pure and new. I'm with Timothy on this one. I spent the whole chapter (every time I read it) pleading with Chet to stop being such a nice guy for once and put what was happening between he and Arron first before being nice to the reckless ass high/drunk immature ass of an ex. I mean I get it, Chet isn't rash or mean spitited and he is a good natured person that cares about people and that part of him wouldn't allow him to throw Ian out after he knew he couldn't drive. I also get that the visit served a purpose, it allowed Chet to put his love and relationship with Ian in perspective against what he is already feeling for Arron. My problem is with him even getting to the point of knowing the man was too messed up to drive. Believe me when I say sometimes you have to make a stand and a choice to get an ex to leave you alone so you can be happy, but this didn't feel like that. This felt contrived on Ian's part the whole way and made Chet seem less like a great guy and more like he was easily manipulated. I wouldn't have let the little cheater in to begin with, but I get that isn't how Chet works. I did like that you gave us a glimpse along the way of what Chet was thinking and how he didn't think him being there could hurt him any worse. But I guess what got to me the most were a few things. One, when Arron texted and he texted back like nothing was amiss but took strength in the text to face Ian. What the hell man, if you have to take strength from him to face someone you should have let him know right then what you were facing. Then two, after you let that opportunity to bring Arron into the mix pass and he decided to let Ian stay. Again, what the hell man, ever hear of a taxicab. Call him one and insist he leave then. Then on top of all those seemingly innocent decisions on Chet's side and him not seeing the potential for this one little visit to derail what he has with Arron - when the man woke up with Ian wrapped around him he does what most would do right. Wake him up and throw him out, yes? No, WHAT THE HELL MAN, you moved to the couch and left him in your bed. The one you are already dreaming of taking Arron into? I get the visit threw Chet off and he was trying to make the best of an awkward situation and he needed the closure or whatever, but I thought he was a bit smarter than that. After how he convinced Kendall to talk to Michael I thought he was more observant. I guess we are all blind to what we don't want to see.

"He had to force himself not to speed towards the man who was his destination." I think that says it all about Chet's mind and his heart. He may have mixed up the restaurants, but he was clear on his destination. Wonderful date. Good to get the who hurt me and how talk out of the way at the beginning - like a band aid, rip it off and get if over with. I though it was both masterful and sweet that you worked in how both of them were ready to let go of that pain when there was something they wanted so badly to hold on to now instead. And Yes, they are moving very quickly but as I have told you before I am a big believer in theory and practice of grabbing on to what feels right when it comes along. If it is right and both people want it then there is something so romantic and steady in trusting your feelings (or your gut as Chet would say). It takes a strong and centered person to open up and be that vunerable to hurt while believing that what can be obtained by putting yourself on the line is worth the risk. I however had a sinking feeling the second Arron almost ran over a guy going down the stairs. Who the hell is about to rock the love boat?

Poor Arron, it hurts to think you were stood up when you are so hopeful! Clearly he has trust issues to work out. And good for Chet! Being man enough to pick up the phone and call when he thought he was stood up. And not once, but twice he called because he was going to get an answer or at least find out what was going on. I love that directness in Chet, my favorite quality in him. Well that and that he makes something go "click" in Arron.

Ahh Arron! Heavy sigh (see profile pic). Those eyes, those beautiful haunted eyes and chiseled face. I know Chet everyone loves and wants him to be happy, but I had the feeling from the first time I read this that Arron was going to be my favorite, just like Michael in COTT. Great opening chapter, we finally get to hear what Arron looks like. We also get to see Chet smitten, that was cute. Seems to have been a quicker and stronger reaction than he had to Kendall - way to go Arron!

Wow! Great chapter. So many emotions and so much contributed by each character in this one. I am glad Kendall's mom stood up to her husband, but it is heartbreaking she had to. As a parent, it is easy to feel what she and Carson are both going through. I feel as much for Carson as I do for Agnes. It is hard as a parent to admit when you are wrong, and as absurd as it seems it is harder the longer you hold on to your position. I hate to admit I get him completely. I am glad to see him grab on to change no matter the reasons or the catalysts. Which brings me to Kendall and Michael. Kendall is confused and wary. Understanably so. Michael is right to urge him to trust though. If you think logically instead of emotionally, which is harder said than done, there is no reason for Carson to fake a change of heart where his son or family is concerned. What does it get him? For that reason alone I would trust he is at least actually trying to change. The worst that can happen is that he can't fully follow through or decides he is too exhausted to change. As bad as that would suck for Kendall I doubt it would be intentionally done to hurt him. I think it is prudent to listen to Michael and give Carson a chance, it is after all what Kendall wants so open up and allow it to happen. I think the most telling thing to Kendall's state of mind is when he was quick to say he tried but he was leaving so quickly. We all think we want to have that chance at confrontation to thouse that have hurt us, but it is harder to do than most will ever know. I am glad Michael convinced him to stay and trust and try.

There was a lot of good in this chapter but let's single out the mom/son relationship. Speaking from experience, it is hard as a mother to make everyone happy when there is disagreement and tension from you spouse and your child. Sometimes a very innocent decision leaning in support of your spouse (one that you, even in retrospect, would likely make again) can lead to circumstances and land you in a situation you no longer have control over because of assumptions and the reactions of others. I'm not defending Kendall's mom, I'm just saying I understand her the way you have written her. You try as a mom but sometimes being the peacemaker hurts more than it helps. Her reaction to Kendall's news with Michael says all that I need to know about her. No matter what, she has always loved Kendall the way he was and needs him to know that. You can't change the past and you can't change other people, but you can control how you react and deal with them both. Kendall's mom wants her son back and I think she will get that. Very dramatic ending. Loved it!

Love this chapter. In honor of Kendall the matchmaker I left his pic up!. He is growing on me for sure. I have set up a few people myself that have led to marriages. As for the issues with his father, well I see where it would have reviewers up in arms and upset, but a couple of points. One, anyone with cancer has the right to tell who and when they choose, not everything is about Kendall, just like when he yelled at Michael that everything wasn't about what he wanted. Second, yeah the guy is a prick but if you look for it there is almost always a positive in everything. If Kendall's dad wasn't a prick would he have turned out to be the person he is today? And would he even have met Michael? Even if they had met, if Kendall had a decent support system and family at home he might have headed right back there when it got to hard to be around Michael thinking he could never be with him. I say the past is important, but it needs to be kept in perspective and in the past. As for Michael, another heavy sigh, isn't he just always the sweetest thing ever? No adjustment period, I'm gay and got the man I am meant to be with so that's who I am now and no one is making me ashamed of it. Not even Kendall's fear. Love his mind as much as his looks!

The fact that it was Big Mike and not Colleen that did the initial teasing was priceless. Love it! The fact that after being appropriately horrified, Kendal gave as good as he got was almost as good. But by far the following quote sums up the moment I fell in love with Kendall as much as Michael (okay, okay, almost as much but still this did it for me, no more reservations about Kendall treating Michael as good as he deserves). "We’re a couple now, and that’s non-negotiable in any friendship I have with anyone. If he can’t accept it or it makes him uncomfortable, then he can choose not to hang with us. I like him a lot and don’t want to lose him as a friend, but we’re a package deal, and you, big guy, will always come first.” Deep, heavy sigh. Yep, Kendall deserves Michael. I'm good now.

"I need you so bad, Babe. I need to touch you and smell you and taste you. It’s like I’m starving for you." Hmmm, I think that says it all. This chapter is many things. The first being the sweet growing connection between the guys while being able to be themselves but in love. Another being the ever present and unwavering love and support of Michael's parents. I love Colleen as much as all the other reviewers and recognize her huge important role, but as with Kendall and Michael I have a soft spot for one over the other just a bit. I adore Big Mike. Stand back and let Colleen do her thing and silently give support and love with almost no words, so that when he speaks everyone pays attention. I love him so much all the way through this story but it really started with his hand on Michael with he head down on the table in the other chapter and bloomed in this chapter with his declaration to Kendall. I love how Michael isn't just like his dad, so we aren't presented with the go to "this is what Michael will be like in 20 years" thing that so many of these stories have. I like that Michael is somewhat like both but favors Colleen and even tends to giggle like his mom. That makes Big Mike all the more special because he loves Michael for all the right reasons and not because he is just a chip off the old block. The other thing this chapter captures and highlights perfectly is what it feels like to be in a newly cemented relationship. Sure they were friends for a long time, but the physical and emotional committment part of their relationship is new and you have done a masterful job of expressing what that is like. The aching need to always be close and to overwhelming sexual need that is there at the beginning of a relationship. The feeling that you can't get too close or please the other person too much. And just as we have discussed that oral sex is just as intimate as any other type, so is the satisfaction of fully taking your lover into you body and that isn't always something easily accomplished. I love not that they managed it with each other, but that they desired and felt driven to give it to the one person they needed to show the depth of their love and desire for.

Ahh. I've been waiting for this chapter. From the first read on one line stuck in my head, "Do you realize you have two shades of blond in those thick eyelashes of yours..." I doubt Michael just noticed that. I like visuals so I went looking for a Kendall and my profile pic was as close as I could get to the image in my head. I won't leave it up long as I prefer Michael (lol even Arron for that matter)as far as pics go but this is my Kendall. As for the chapter itself, this may be the first time I have felt Kendall was shortchanged instead of Michael. I loved that the whole Moondoggie/Chet issue was brought up in typical Michael fashion and resolved. Yeah for Michael getting to be the only man to ever kiss and touch his man. On the other hand I think the women (again the one real fault to bring Michael down the level of us humans) that Michael went through was touched on but glossed over in comparison to the Chet issue. From my perspective the two don't seem even in scope and on this one I have to say I think Kendall's pain was far greater. Sure he could have spoken up sooner but aside from that there wasn't much he could do but suffer in silence when he KNEW thos women were,what were the words, kissing and touching and "stuff" with Michael. Michael's pain and jealousy over Chet, while real was mostly in his imagination and nothing he had to witness and maintain a friendship like it wasn't tearing him up inside, not to mention short lived. Kendall watched woman after woman rotate in and out of Michael's life. That's torture. I don't however think it was Michael that glossed over the pain or the issue, it was Kendall. Seems he has a pattern of forgiving Michael anything and never blaming him, which is noble but Michael is much better at voicing his issues. Maybe Kendall is just better at putting it in perspective because none of the womanizing was intended to hurt anyone, not the women or Kendall. Still, I think it had to hurt more than Michael worrying over Chet for a week or two and finding out there was no physical relationship to even have to mentally deal with. Still, they are communicating and getting better at it and that's only going to help them grow.

Only Ace could go from being shy while asking to do something hot as all hell to boldly laying it all out there on the line and asking for forever! I swear I want to move in next to these two just to be around them some. Hot as hell and tender and emotional. Great writing. I missed the line about having two good knees before..so this was what he meant. Never mind. Love the playfulness that comes with being friends first but also love that when the decision to move forward and they "owned each other" was made, that they went straight to the forever part. I have been made fun of for that type of snap decision making in my life, and while I will admit the first time I did it I got three good years of sex out of a four year doomed from the start marriage. But the second time I felt that connection and decided to just give in and admit what was happening and commit has lasted 22 years so far, so where others might think moving so fast in fiction is just fiction, I completely recognize that for some of us it represents the freeing decision making we live.

I have to say this first and get it out of the way - I was with AC to a degree. When he called Michael and idiot and left the room for a shower after also saying he wasn't sure whether he went to see Chet or not was any of Michael's concern I thought it pretty cruel. I mean if they knew each other so damn well I would have thought he would see how that would have hurt Michael after he just damn well admitted that when Kendall left earlier it had him worried. I get he realized it and hurried back but it still stung. I don't like anyone making Michael upset, even Kendall. But you made up for it when Michael's ire got the best of him and he put Kendall on full shut the F up and listen notice with his you pulled yourself out of my life so don't assume you know how I feel rant. Nicely done man. Now to the love and sex scene. First or not it was well written and somehow sweet and hot as hell at the same time. I read a lot of gay romance and erotica and while most get the sex okay, the good ones are the ones that portray the physical sexual acts with the correct emotion the writer is trying to convey. I prefer the ones where it is love that drives the physical and you conveyed that perfectly. I realize that all sex is personal and can be meaningful but I have always believed that while penetrative sex is perceived as more intimate to most than oral that they are wrong. There is something particularly sensual and more intimate to me about oral sex and I hate when it is portrayed as a first step or not as big a deal as going all the way, so to speak. Obviously I can only speak for myself but I could hold some of myself back with penetrative sex, but if I am willing to participate in oral that is an intimate act. I loved that when Kendall sat and watched Michael sleep he referred to what they had done as making love and how Michael couldn't fake enjoying it. So true. I also loved that their first deep kiss or make out session caused Michael to orgasm, so damn hot. I will say it again, it is telling to me that Michael was the one that lost control and came from the emotion of finally kissing and connecting completely with his love when it was Kendall was the one that couldn't keep pinning for a man he couldn't have. And Tim isn't the only one that was affected. He may have had to take a shower and bring the tablet in with him, but he isn't the only one that got wet. There is a reason women read gay romance after all!

Lanny is a dick for sure and Candy is the female version of Damien Thorpe. However I just realized she is good for one thing at least, without her in the story Michael would be too damn good to be true. The fact that he was ever involved at all with Candy proves he is human at least. I suppose it is easy to only look at the surface of a person when you were never going to get emotionally invested in them to begin with. As for Kendall's actions immediately following the injury, I knew it was going to be okay the minute I read that he "chose" not to hear a word the coach was yelling at him because Michael was all that mattered. Great word choice. And despite the Candy misjudgment, that's my boy Michael! Perfect way to start the whole "about that not being able to love you thing" conversation! Just enough of a kiss to convey intent without being pushy! I guess if you are a word butcher you just naturally resort to actions instead. Of course Kendall not believing it is real or true isn't surprising. I mean it is a wee bit like me finding out Matt Bomer really has a soft spot for middle aged women with a soft spot for gay men. Nice to think about but about as likely as Lucy not moving the football. So yeah, he is shocked but coming around. I love that Michael keeps taking these perceived rejections and rolls with them instead of over reacting. A pain pill, a hard on and a shower later and so what if Kendall freaked and walked out - I'm ready to talk the talk and walk the walk.

Ahh, there's our Kendall. Pulled his head out of his own thoughts enough to realize not speaking to the person most important to you isn't realy working. This is where on a reread I first realized that Kendall was speed dial 1 and Colleen, his mom, was 2. That's my Michael, Kendall is always number one, even when it hurts. A more reasonable Kendall and a completely invested and besotted Michael....I can feel the love coming from here. One thing I have to say about your writing and this story is that I love how we get both perspectives and we know the emotions driving the characters. But I also love how you don't draw out the misunderstandings or the done to death over reactions to things so often I see in these types of stories. I feel that while this story is headed in a HEA or a feel good type of place, it feels more real than most I read on here. Sure understandings happen and feelings get hurt, but usually in cases of real love and relationships those things get worked out with communication and I have no doubt with the communication starting things will work out. And while it isn't my personal experience that any man I know expresses their feelings this well (at least not without being drunk), that may just be my experience and I love that these guys are beginning to communicate again.

Alright so Chet isn't the ass I needed him to be, but Michael has every right to make assumptions at this point. I mean, "Why are you doing this now, Michael? I'm finally getting somewhere with my life, and now you show up?" AND "Dammit, Ace! It's not about what you need to do. For God's sake, don't you get that? I can't let you back in to my life anymore, Michael. It fucks me up, and I won't go back to that. I'm moving on, Michael!..." What the heck is my poor Michael supposed to think with Chet sitting in a car in the background? This is the closest I have come to disliking Kendall. I get it, he's not in the wrong. He's not in the right either though because six years of friendship should at least warrant a quick "is this some sort of emergency" type question. What is there was something wrong with Michael's family or something along those lines. Kendall is a great guy with a huge emotional struggle going on right now but I see this chapter as proof that Michael is even more in love than Kendall, which is saying something if Kendall had to do the initial admitting of feelings. If those feelings were as deep as he professes, then why is Michael the only one keeping tabs and making sure their freind is okay. Michael is aware of Chet (maybe under the wrong impression, but aware Kendall has moved into a new friendship). Kendall had made no such attempts to check on Michael to see if he is okay and instead consumed with his own needs. I get it and it isn't a judgement, well maybe a bit on one. Mostly an observation that illustrates why Michael is the more relateable at this point and why I love him deeply as a character.