B-man, thank god you passed the test. What everyone was afraid to tell you are the horrible side effects from eating the expired peanut butter… have you ever seen Color Out of Space? Or The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill from the original Creepshow?
It’s kinda like that, you become some kind of Lovecraftian human/peanut hybrid. It’s true, I read all about it on the internet… make sure to check with me first on expiration dates. Everyone else might just say you’ll get horribly sick, but the next thing you know, there’s a zombie apocalypse in Australia… 👀