albertnothlit

I have never been more relieved to welcome the arrival of spring than I was that year. The receding snows and increasing hours of sunlight appeared to free the world all around us from the iron grip under which it had remained, helpless, during the long dark and the icy weather. The skies cleared up as the weeks progressed, and by the end of March the regular overcast gloom under which we had lived had been completely replaced by cloudless, blue magnificence. It lifted my spirits to know that we

Thank you for your comments! Estiveo - I agree, squirrels have a dark side their cuteness can't make me ignore 😀 drpaladin - Thanks again for your analysis!

Though I cannot say that the numerous poorly-educated and traditionalistic servants took enthusiastically to the change in the sleeping arrangements which followed, they were nevertheless prudent enough to not voice any sort of complaint or negative remark while in our presence. The very next morning after Charles’s nightmare, I sought out Mr. White and promptly informed him that I would like to have my clothes and belongings moved into the master suite. A startled blink was the only thing w

You're right – mental institutions a hundred years ago were places where many people ended up who could have otherwise had productive lives. To this day, the word 'sanatorium' is creepy, to me at least, because of the connotations of the way mentally ill people used to be treated back in the day. Also, a hug might seem like a simple thing, but when you really need it, it can be really powerful. There is something very special and wonderful about holding someone else in your arms when they need it, or being held when it is you who needs support. I like the way you said that Charles needed Danny's hug just like his body needs oxygen. Sometimes it really does feel that way – you need the physical closeness, the support, the encouragement. It can help you keep going.

After that rather eventful summer, my life returned quickly to unremarkable routine. I continued my studies at the University as before, sharing most of my classes with Charles, and becoming close friends with him in the process. The awkwardness of the expedition to the wilderness remained with us, unspoken, although neither of us made any mention of that night when I had refused Charles’s advances. We focused instead on the subjects which fascinated us, physics, mathematics, and particularly as

Insightful as ever! Something came down from the sky that night and it is already affecting its environment. Just what it is, the how and the why, I hope you and everyone else reading will find somewhat surprising… I’m finding it very interesting to imagine how people would have dealt with something not from this world one hundred years ago, before the Internet, before science fiction was popular, and back when knowledge was something not everybody had at their fingertips. Then there is also the attraction Charles feels for Danny, at a time when most people had no concept of what being gay even meant, at least not in the way we understand it now. These two things together make for cool subject matter, because humanity as a whole has changed so much in a hundred years, and the way in which we even think about them is so radically different, that I’m having a lot of fun writing this story. I hope it shows! Hugs, -Albert

Wow, thank you very much for the kind feedback! I put a lot of myself into this story, short as it is, and it is quite rewarding to know that it resonates emotionally with others. I personally love fairies ever since I read the Artemis Fowl books when I was growing up, but this was the first time I tried my hand at actually writing something featuring them. I’m glad you found it entertaining!

The following morning, the first thing Charles and I did was look for tracks. We found some suspicious indentations on the ground at the base of the tower, near the spot where I had seen the shape the night before. Although not completely identifiable as tracks, the marks did nevertheless lead out into the forest, at which point we lost the trail completely. We returned to the tower then, and closer examination of the rough and uneven stone wall revealed several places which had been either

Thank you so much, drpaladin. You’re absolutely right – a current, a relentless undertow, can sometimes not be fought but merely followed. I’ve been trying to stop myself from engaging the fight reflex when things get rough because there are times when the instinctual need to reject negative emotions does more harm than good. Instead, if I merely ride it out, I will still suffer somewhat, but I won’t exhaust myself emotionally by engaging in a fight I cannot win. It’s hard. It’s like being tossed into freezing cold water at the pool and seeing the ladder to climb out right there in front of you – except the ladder is frozen and no matter how much you try, you’re not getting out of the pool that way. You’re just going to exhaust yourself if you keep trying. Instead, you have to fight your reflex and just tolerate the awful cold until the water warms up… Whenever it decides to do so. Not an easy thing to do, waiting around in the icy water. But I’m willing to try.

Thank you, Parker. I'm trying to hang in there. I keep telling myself that maybe this is just a rough patch, that it's here but it'll go away eventually. I just need to be patient, and nurture my ability to be thankful for all the things I do have, all the things that make my life brighter. I just wish it weren't so hard at times. My mind feels weird when I'm like this. It's like I can only think of bad things, bad memories, bad days. I have to keep reminding me, again and again, that's it's not always been so, and that it won't always be this way. I just need to hang on for a bit more, and stay strong.

Thank you, Valkyrie. I'm doing yoga, I haven't stopped, and in fact it has been helping. Last weekend we had a session where all we did was breathe, for nearly an hour. It was intense - like meditating, but different. That day and the following one, I kind of felt calmer... but then everything came back. I'm trying to be patient about all this. I will do everything I can to help myself be more calm. Progress is happening, I know it, but sometimes it's kind of hard to take a step back and see it, especially when I'm in the middle of an episode. But I'm not giving up

There’s this pressure in my chest. This sensation of not being able to completely relax. It’s the anxiety I think. It is tolerable for a while, but when minutes become hours and hours become days and days become weeks and weeks become months, it gets a little hard to just keep going. It feels like I will be okay if I can only rest for a while, recharge batteries, let my mind recover so that I can face more hours, more days. The problem is that I can’t rest. It is not physical rest I need, but me

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments, drpaladin! I'm glad to read your thoughts on how things are going, because it's precisely the impressions I was hoping to make, and the messages I was hoping to get across through this chapter. Your insight is, as always, very greatly appreciated. There is a lot to explore yet, and many more things will eventually help shed light on the questions being posed. I'm having a lot of fun mixing elements of romance and horror in a single story, and I hope you, and everyone else who reads this story, will have just as much fun throughout the following chapters. Thank you again - your thoughtful feedback means a lot. -Albert

The first time I saw Charles after his return to America, I was so surprised that I doubted it was him. I was walking through the campus, hurrying to a lecture on differential equations, when I saw a slender young man walking purposefully along the arches which led to the library. I would not have known that this young man was Charles but for the fact that he resembled his father so strongly that there could be no doubt as to the family connection. I called out his name as he walked by, just

I'm so glad you liked it! I don't usually write about magic (since I'm more of a sci-fi kind of guy), but it was great fun, and I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed it.

Thank you for your comments! I'm so glad you're finding the story entertaining despite (or because of?) its decidedly dark tone, and the next chapter will, hopefully, add another piece to the puzzle and open up yet more questions as to what is really happening... I can't wait to share the next chapter this coming Monday. I'm hard at work on this story, dedicating some time each day whenever work permits. It's all going according to plan so far! Thank you again, -Albert.

If the modern theories of Mr. Freud are to be given any credence, then my subconscious mind must have suppressed the horrific events of that fateful night soon afterwards as a protective measure for my psyche. For at least eight years after the event, I managed not only to avoid thinking about what had happened, but also to build my personal life, hobbies, and interests to be radically different from what they had once been. It was only later in life that I began to relive parts of the after

Thank you so much for your comments! StonyCreeker - I'm so glad you found the story entertaining and even a little emotional - you have no idea how much feedback like yours means to me. I've missed being active here, but I'm feeling better all the time, through the ups and downs, and I'm remembering more and more why I love writing more than anything else. Fae, thank you for your kind review! I'm glad you liked the story - and you're right, youth is so relative, even among us and without any magic involved.

One lifetime of experience, and suddenly... magic. Richard has come to Ireland to reflect on years gone by, not to become mixed up in the affairs of the fairy folk. The handsome stranger he meets will not be denied, however. He makes Richard young again - for a price.

One Richard Trowes got on the tour bus with resigned exhaustion. The trip that had looked so good on the travel agency's web site was proving to be insufferable, and there was still one more day to go. Plus, whatever remained of that afternoon. He shuffled onto his seat, wishing he weren't surrounded by teenagers who had not stopped talking amongst themselves for a single moment since the group left the hotel. Had he ever been as loud as they were now? Richard doubted it. Aft

Thank you all for your wonderful comments, and for continuing to read my journal entries and supporting me. Though it’s hard for me to recognize my own progress sometimes, I also think that the fact that I have started writing creatively again is definite proof of how far along I am in my journey, and it is something I can think back on when things get bad and anxiety threatens to erase the rational part of my mind. I can remind myself that I have gotten so much better that now, I am no longer in just desperate survival mode, but I am also doing other things, things I enjoy and which can give meaning to my life. If you had told me a couple months ago that I would be publishing a new story by now, I would not have believed it. But that just goes to show that healing is possible, even if the journey is tough. I’m sure plenty of challenges lie ahead still, but I’m beginning to believe I can be strong enough to face them. Michael, I’m sorry to hear that your husband is going through similar hardship. I send both you and him a virtual hug, and I hope he gets better soon.

Thanks! I have always liked stargazing, and when writing this chapter I often thought of looking at the sky years ago, recognizing the constellations, and seeing how they moved across the sky over the course of the year. There was always an element of wonder and awe as I watched the stars, but also a tiny bit of fear at the vast unknown... which I'm channeling here.

Thank you very much! I have always loved the literary feel of the language of those times, the wonderful formality it conveyed, and the armchair-and-snifter-of-wine fireside atmosphere it always made me think of. I'm glad I was able to successfully convey the feel of times gone by!

My psychiatrist once told me that, for some people, it is hard if not near impossible to stop the vicious cycle of stress. When we encounter a scary, dangerous, or threatening situation, the brain sets in motion an entire cascade of reactions all over the place to help us better survive that event. It could be something literally dangerous, like running across a snake as you walk, or something a little more abstract, like having to give an important presentation in front of the board of director

Thank you so much, AC - that's high praise indeed! I'm really happy to be back and writing - I hope you'll enjoy the story