realisation always hits hard! and when it hits, there will be many feelings that overwhelm a person. I felt that in a way, Michael has suffered more than Kendall did as he abused himself by supressing his feelings and emotions. while they disappear, they never truly go away and stay deeply hidden inside of us and keep eating away at us until we eventually give in. I can actually relate to Michael more on that level as I have done the same thing for years before accepting myself, although I still am not at the level where Michael is, I am slowly working at it. BTW, the description of a naked Kendall in moonlight was done in such a beautiful way, that it was more erotic than sexual. felt like a beautiful painting . thanks for such a beautiful chapter