-
Posts
3,189 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Forums
Stories
- Stories
- Story Series
- Story Worlds
- Story Collections
- Story Chapters
- Chapter Comments
- Story Reviews
- Story Comments
- Stories Edited
- Stories Beta'd
Blogs
Store
Help Center
Writing
Gallery
Events
Everything posted by jkwsquirrel
-
Thanks dude!
-
I'll have to check that out!
-
We'll find out a bit more about Paula and the vanilla douche along the way. You're right about Brett. Remember, he's been dealing with Billy's depression for over a year at this point. He's worn out. So are all his friends. They're desperate to do something. Brett's not playing around when he says he's about done with Billy, he really is. We'll talk about Reilly's popularity in a future chapter, and the story behind it. Billy and Brett aren't as different as Billy thinks. I think we all expect a bit too much from a 17-year-old kid. I know Billy would be better off coming out. You know it. Everybody knows it. But from Billy's perspective, it would be suicide. Of course everybody knows. But Billy can't brush off the insults. He's convinced that things will only get worse if he admits it - an idea which is reinforced by the attitude of his mom. Billy lost his dad and his best friend in the span of a few months. He's stopped trying to get over it. Makes me wonder, why did Dustin decide to move back?
-
That's what Brett is trying to tell him. Brett is pretty much out and happy. He just wants the same for Billy. Paula, by stifling Billy's true self, is suffocating him. She's as much to blame for Billy's current state as anybody. He's in limbo.
-
Thanks glennish! Yes, George had to die. I've always said this story is as much about Billy and George as it is about Billy and Brett. Billy obviously hasn't handled things well. We're only catching the tail end of it. I kind of wanted to tell the story of what happens when someone grieves too long and allows their pain to consume them. At first, everyone understands and tries to be nice and comforting. But at some point we expect people to move on, and Billy won't do it. Billy's always had trouble adapting to change. This is a big one, too big for him to handle on his own. He's too stubborn to move on or seek real help. He's become bitter and mean. He wants others to feel his pain. He's not a very fun person to be around. The fun part is putting him back together!
-
Thanks Dahawk! Good to be back! Billy may yet redeem himself and face his fears. If he doesn't he risks losing everything!
-
But if we waited until the last chapter, we wouldn't get to see how Billy grows from it!
-
“In the sight of God and these witnesses, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Cheers and applause rose up from the assembled gathering of friends and family. Pastor Carl Stevens smiled broadly and asked the bride and groom to face the congregation. “Friends, it is now my pleasure to present to you for the first time Mr. and Mrs. David Bland!” I wanted to throw up. I wanted to throw up often, but at that moment a good
- 33 comments
-
- 51
-
-
-
-
-
-
It's senior year of school for Billy Roberts and his friends. It is a time of trials and challenges, but also hope. Billy must face his fears or risk losing everything he loves.
-
In Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, I skipped the songs. I enjoyed the world-building and descriptions, but the songs... Looking back, I could have skipped the whole Tom Bombadil section and been alright.
-
story critique Improve & Encourage #5: W.A.R. Part 1 & 2
jkwsquirrel commented on Renee Stevens's blog entry in Gay Authors Archive
True. The idea of this is to encourage and improve, and all of Cole's words do just that! Everybody's very supportive around here. It's all appreciated. -
story critique Improve & Encourage #5: W.A.R. Part 1 & 2
jkwsquirrel commented on Renee Stevens's blog entry in Gay Authors Archive
But I did agree! -
story critique Improve & Encourage #5: W.A.R. Part 1 & 2
jkwsquirrel commented on Renee Stevens's blog entry in Gay Authors Archive
You'd have to work harder than that to offend me, my friend! Appreciation isn't a strong enough word for my thoughts on your words! -
story critique Improve & Encourage #5: W.A.R. Part 1 & 2
jkwsquirrel commented on Renee Stevens's blog entry in Gay Authors Archive
I really appreciate this! Wonderful! Thank you Cole! I'm working on toning down the melodrama! Now I've got to get to work on JayT's story review! -
Yep! It was a little foreshadowing of the highs and lows which are to come. That and Brett sneaking into Billy's bed at the end as well. Billy's truce with Paula is doomed to fail.
-
Thanks Jay! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
-
How dare you!?!! Just kidding! No, it's cool. I can see your point. It's hard to think of a close to 10,000 word chapter as rushed, but I had a lot to do in this chapter and didn't want to get too bogged down early on. Before I edited it, it was closer to 12,000 words. I thought it was a little too much, but perhaps my editing knife was a little too sharp. As for George, I think it's within his character to want Billy to be a responsible adult, and that includes being a good mate to his significant other. While George is an open-minded person, he's also a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to love. George has also come to see Brett as a second son, to the point that sometimes Billy thinks his dad likes Brett more than him. George knows that Billy could easily crush Brett's heart. Billy has two dangerous settings, hot-tempered destroyer and cold calculator. He can be seen as aloof, insensitive, and a sarcastic asshole. I just think George knows his son's behavior could do a lot of harm to Brett and he wants to show more maturity so he won't hurt Brett. I think he is very proud of the person Billy is becoming, and part of that is being a good partner.
-
You may be on to something! As much as he fights with his mother, he was so desperate to hide his true feelings because her rejection would have crushed him. I think Billy's running away from her was a preemptive strike, trying to delay what he thought was an inevitable rejection the he just couldn't deal with. "You can't hurt me if I hurt you first."
-
Thanks jaysalmn! It would have been cruel to kill George off at this point. I like a happy ending. Thank you for your continuing support! It's appreciated!
-
Thanks Israfil! I'm glad you noticed the parallel between the two scenes involving George and Billy. The first time, it was George reflecting on how much Billy had grown. This time it was Billy reflecting on how his father had grown old. Thanks for your encouragement!
-
Thanks Dahawk! I'm glad you've enjoyed the story! I appreciate your words of encouragement!
-
As much as the story is about the relationship between the boys, I think the heart of WAR is the relationships between fathers and sons. One of the most amazing conversations I ever had was with my dad's best friend many years after my dad died. He told me, "Your dad always wished he understood you better." My dad was a great man, brilliant in the way George is. He could fix anything and was so brilliant, and yet he wanted to learn more about me, understand what I was about and how he could relate to me. Knowing that my dad thought about me as someone worth having a conversation with another dad about made me appreciate him in a deeper way.
-
Thanks Benji! I'm just remembering Joey being absolutely terrified of his father finding out he'd been in a fight with Billy at school, and the strange scene of Joey crying in the bathroom at the church. While I don't see Jack as being physically abusive, he is certainly intimidating. I can only imagine what terrible things he threatened to do to Joey, having been humiliated by his son's foolish actions. The outdoor sex was my favorite love scene in the story so far. I think the scene at the very end, with Brett sneaking into Billy's bed shows that the truce between Billy and his mom is doomed, but it was cute. I'm sure George enjoyed the chance to be alone with Brett during their first fishing trip. Thanks for the encouragement you've given throughout the story!
-
Well, a happy turn of events! I have to give my boys some happiness in their lives!
-
Thanks Shadow dude! I agree. I don't think Brett ever truly believed his mom. You're right about Billy as well. He always expects the worst. Killing George would have just been cruel at this point, but I think we all know what has to happen, as difficult as it is. Billy gaining confidence is so refreshing. It's been a long journey for him, but he finally has some peace. I know a skip ahead to senior year is a bit of a jump, but it's the logical place to wrap things up. The jump isn't that big of a stretch. We're in April of 2003, the jump will take us to December 2004. That's kind of why everything has settled into a stalemate at the moment, so that the big moments will happen in the story to avoid Billy having to talk about it after the fact. Anyway, thank you for the way you have supported me! I've greatly appreciated your thoughts!
