jkwsquirrel

Well, to be fair to Paula, it was an ugly chair with cigarette burns and such. One of the things I'm most proud of in the story is Dustin's journey. We watched him crash and burn in spectacular fashion as his demons emerged, overtook, and seemed to destroy him. But there he is, back in town trying to find redemption. There's still that kid inside him that just wanted to make people happy. Billy's life just isn't the same without him.

Thanks guys! We'll explore Dustin's retirement from his "gay-for-pay" lifestyle a little later. One doesn't just crash and burn like he did and bounce right back, even after a year of therapy. There's lots left to explore there. I saw Billy not inviting Brett to come over as just one more sign of his misery, not necessarily that he is angry with Brett. He was content to wallow in his depression.

It's nice to see some maturity among these boys. Ah, but will it last? We'll find out what's up with Billy soon.

We'll get to the bottom of what's wrong with Billy soon. The light at the end of the tunnel draws near!

Thanks Wesley! Things are looking up!

You're too kind! Thanks!

Well, it's a cold and snowy night here, but there's a new chapter up for you to enjoy!

With mom out of the house for the week, I thought that I would have been happy. But being all alone just made me even more depressed! It seemed that nothing I did could make me happy. I hated feeling like shit all the time. I was losing weight even when I ate. I was waking up at night covered in sweat. I was thirsty all the time. Even when I’d drink a pitcher of water I’d still be thirsty. It sucked and it was getting worse. I felt like I was slowly dying, but that was just me being mel

Yeah, I couldn't do it. I had to kill him off for the story, but it would have been too cruel, even for me, to do it "on screen." The scene itself would be too hard for me, and I already had Billy react to his grandma's death. This one was obviously more profound, and Billy's reaction is what drives the story. As for Billy and his mom, that relationship has always been complex, hasn't it? I truly think that everything that Paula does she does out of love from her perspective (not necessarily from Billy's perspective). Unfortunately she is blind to some serious issues with her son. Listening to music is an important part of my writing process. One group that helps me get into Billy's character is... Simple Plan! "I'm Just a Kid," "Welcome to My Life," and "Untitled" help me get into the mind of a kid who thinks the whole world is out to get him. "I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me." That's Billy!

Should be fun! I like tipping dominoes over!

What's that extra "R" doing in there?

Is it really a surprise that the preacher took over the town without a fight? Small town American life in the aftermath of 9/11. 2004 was interesting times... As I mentioned above, this is the ending throes of Billy's depression, not the beginning (as evidenced by his lengthy hair). While it would be unrealistic to think that Billy can conquer the mighty Pastor Carl, he might yet get some licks in. And I find it a great compliment that you want to see my characters get their comeuppance!

Frank got put on a bus, so to speak. After Dustin tried to kill himself, Amanda tells Billy and Brett that her father moved to Cleveland, which is kind of like being sent to Hell, right?

Thanks Spikey! Yeah, this one was just one big kick in Billy's balls. Here's the thing, I already did the breakdown storyline with Billy in "The Broken Boy," and the recovery storyline in "Rehabilitation." This time, I just plunged Billy right in with Billy on the tail end of a long depression. Did we really want to see a year's worth of Billy growing increasingly bitter and hateful as he plunged deeper into apathy and depression? I don't think so. So we are where we are, right on the edge of Billy snapping out of it and eventually kicking some ass. But to get there, we needed this one. Totally agree about Paula's marriages. She had the shovel ready a little early, at least from Billy's perspective. Part of the fun with Billy's story is that he almost always causes his own problems. Sure, bad things happen to him, but most of the time he's the reason they've happened to him!

Thanks bud! I hope you'll enjoy it!

Can't argue with you there, Jay!

What could possibly go wrong?

Thanks dude!

I'll have to check that out!

We'll find out a bit more about Paula and the vanilla douche along the way. You're right about Brett. Remember, he's been dealing with Billy's depression for over a year at this point. He's worn out. So are all his friends. They're desperate to do something. Brett's not playing around when he says he's about done with Billy, he really is. We'll talk about Reilly's popularity in a future chapter, and the story behind it. Billy and Brett aren't as different as Billy thinks. I think we all expect a bit too much from a 17-year-old kid. I know Billy would be better off coming out. You know it. Everybody knows it. But from Billy's perspective, it would be suicide. Of course everybody knows. But Billy can't brush off the insults. He's convinced that things will only get worse if he admits it - an idea which is reinforced by the attitude of his mom. Billy lost his dad and his best friend in the span of a few months. He's stopped trying to get over it. Makes me wonder, why did Dustin decide to move back?

That's what Brett is trying to tell him. Brett is pretty much out and happy. He just wants the same for Billy. Paula, by stifling Billy's true self, is suffocating him. She's as much to blame for Billy's current state as anybody. He's in limbo.

Thanks glennish! Yes, George had to die. I've always said this story is as much about Billy and George as it is about Billy and Brett. Billy obviously hasn't handled things well. We're only catching the tail end of it. I kind of wanted to tell the story of what happens when someone grieves too long and allows their pain to consume them. At first, everyone understands and tries to be nice and comforting. But at some point we expect people to move on, and Billy won't do it. Billy's always had trouble adapting to change. This is a big one, too big for him to handle on his own. He's too stubborn to move on or seek real help. He's become bitter and mean. He wants others to feel his pain. He's not a very fun person to be around. The fun part is putting him back together!

Thanks Dahawk! Good to be back! Billy may yet redeem himself and face his fears. If he doesn't he risks losing everything!

But if we waited until the last chapter, we wouldn't get to see how Billy grows from it!

And we're off!