wenmale64

Hi Ron and Cody, Welcome abord and welcome to the asylum. Have fun and join in R

I agree that cheating on your spouse is the ultimate betrayal. It is one thing to live the lie and not be honest with your spouse, but it is a whole new level to cheat on them. When I came out to my wife, after the tears and questions about our future the bigest thing she wanted to know was if I had been with anybody else. The truthful answer was NO. This was a slight suprise to her as my best friend is a man that I care for more than I can ever relate to others. He was and is my rock since junior high school in the mid 70's. He is the only other person that knows my orientation (only for the past year or so). He is still my best friend and that was the bigest relief that could have happened. When I came out to my wife she was sure I was with him and was leaving her. Not my way. I do still love my wife, I just want to explore what was missed while growing up and she understands this. I will always be honest with her from now on and while sometimes it is dificult it is a much better way to live. Bottom line.... NEVER cheat on your partner. It will destroy any respect and trust for both of you. You will know it, they will suspect it and both will be resentful of themselves and the other. Never a good ending to that situation. Honesty and pain is much better than deciet and loathing....... Just my thoughts. R

I agree with Graeme and Cia completely. I have had a few conversations with Graeme about this subject and he has given some VERY good thoughts and advice. I just had my 23rd anniversary with my wife. I came out to her about 6 months ago and many emotions flew about for both of us. Mostly disapointment, shame, fear and wonder for the future. Without going into story length detail the story is very typical of a teen in the 70-80's. I grew up in a small conservitive town. Typical rural north west USA. The wife was a military kid with very little stability as her father was career USAF and moved from base to base. Anyway, we have talked and understand each others fears, wants and concerns. We are making it and moving forward with mutual respect and understanding. DO NOT GET ME WRONG--- it is not easy, it is taking constant work and interaction with each other. She is worried that I will find someone else to love and leave her, while I am still very scared about getting with a guy for only physical pleasure without feeling I am cheating on my wife. She has said she understands and will support my needs, but I just don't know. We have promiced each other to be honest and communicate our feelings and concerns. This is the best thing we can do. Another thing is to reinforce the companionship, understanding, love and support of your partner (wife in my case) so that they know you are being true to their fears and needs. THANKS GRAEME :) . The botom line is that these situations are fluid and often not obvious in their outcomes. It takes a VERY special partner to be able to work through this situation. Procede with honesty, truth and caution and be aware that storybook endings are not guarenteed for any of us. R

I grew up with german shepards but now have two cats so I guess that makes me bi........

Hi All, I just recently joined and am enjoying the stories. I am 52 and only out to a couple of people. I unfortunately live in a small town in Washington state USA and the local homophobia is simply spooky. I have had people I do not know start gay bashing while standing in line at the local market because someone near by "looks" gay. I hope that times are changing so that people, especially our youth, can be who they are without fear. Hope to participate some in the future. R