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Narias1989

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Everything posted by Narias1989

  1. Teddy Chen sat in the corner of the Planned Parenhood, twisting a Phillips screwdriver into his silver Rolex. He snapped the back-panel into place, and knocked over a rubber tree plant as he hopped up. “Finito! It’s completed! Completed!” He skipped over to his friends at the counter, where there was a long line waiting for the receptionist. She was still locked in a Time Loop. “I got the finishing touches for Version 1.23 ready to roll,” said Teddy. The receptionist smiled
  2. Calamari Codependency -17.438327, 178.954304 I read Matt's text while swinging in my bungalow hammock, butt-ass naked. M: Cruise over for a rescue mission, MOFO. And bring the Elephant Juice!!! Using only thumbs, I responded: TC: Let's stick to Rooibos tea instead. M: HELL NO AMIGO. We need the Spirit of Africa, right meow. Copy? TC: Copy. M: And wear your squid hat. Copy? TC: Copy. Soon as I wrestled on pants and undies, I went into the k
  3. This short story's about two guys who become expatriates in an African country, making a living off saving the wildlife. It's a draft, and I'm concerned that the ending was rushed. Always looking for input. I also have two titles. Which one is better? Thanks readers.
  4. I'm generally a forgiving reader but I can't stand terrible dialogue.
  5. Narias1989

    Chapter 1

    Hey Jeff, Thanks for the read. I write lots of vignettes and short stories about these same characters. I guess I could start compiling them here. I've got whole binders full of Teddy and Danny stories
  6. I live in a suburb and there's a starbucks across the street from my house. By now I'm probably considered a regular even though I don't talk to the baristas. It's my community, why shouldn't I be able to hang out here? I just buy a coffee and sit in the corner to write. Sometimes I get a refill or go to Taco Bell for lunch and come back. No one seems to mind as long as I'm quiet and respectful. The time limit is usually reserved for homeless people and I don't look homeless. Someone mentioned here they go to Lestat's. Is that the one in San Diego? I live a few blocks away in North Park.
  7. Three men sat on the bench atop Koi Hill, hanging out between classes, wasting precious time. The tallest man rose from his seat, demonstrating brilliant upright American posture. He sighed and looked at the sky, brown hair blowing in the summer September wind. “You all right, Spaulding?” said Teddy, to his left. He kept his nose poked inside the pages of small leatherbound book. “Sounds like someone needs a hug,” said Danny, on the right. He had a skateboard flipped upside down on his
  8. I wanted to try writing some sketches about characters I've made up. This short story is about three men sitting on a bench who find out that their friend's baby is in terrible danger. Antics commence. This is a poor attempt at comedy too
  9. Narias1989

    Chapter 5

    3:17 AM When I saw what looked like a Flying Spaghetti Monster's silhouette flying across the full moon, that's when I knew Bennet was telling the truth. Even if I blinked ten-thousand more times, it was still there, that wiggly pasta of doom. Then I saw them split off into smaller entities, that spilled over her round face like dripping eyeliner. La Luna, mi amore! How dare they touch you. Those fiends up there must be the Trespassers, Bennet mentioned. “You see them,” he said. I
  10. Thanks man, I'm so happy you feel that way. Your words are really an encouragement. I'll make sure to give some of your stories a read when I can. best, narias
  11. Longtime lurker here. Thought I'd drop by and finally say hello to everyone. I've been writing on and off and lately and decided to put more effort into it, and this seems like a nice place to post stuff that I'd be otherwise embarrassed to share. Other than writing, I like to read and skate and go fishing. Hope to see y'all around. narias
  12. Narias1989

    Chapter 4

    3:04 AM Bennet and the spider were talking again. I overheard them while writing from the bench. Just a couple of streetlight hood-rats jabbing away. I knew I could outrun the armed asshole, but something about what was happening compelled me to stay. My night was thus far pretty surreal and terrifying, but it was far more interesting than anything my boring day-to-day life ever mustered up. Plus my veins were still coursing with liquid courage. Listen: “What did you want to know,
  13. Narias1989

    Chapter 3

    The Empress and the Ivory Tower 1:25 AM We left the bar and walked through the empty alleyways down Campanile into the clear moonlit night. I saw the campus bell-tower on the horizon, ticking away beneath the wide starocean, and its Spanish-style spire poking the bottom of the crescent moon. Why was La Luna frowning? That's the first I'd ever seen her so sad and upside-down. Bennet and I walked in companionable silence down the airy pavilion lined with palm trees and
  14. Narias1989

    Chapter 2

    Thanks for the read, Will.
  15. Narias1989

    Chapter 2

    Back on the Ground 12:14 AM Word Count: Less Than Zero So I kept my promise. I didn’t start my story the night before the due date. I started the morning before instead. See look at the clock. Huzzah. Way to go, Shinozaki-Sanderson. You succeeded in finding another loophole justifying your procrastination. Aces, man. Well, enough chit-chat. It's business time. (Where have I heard that before?) 12:16 AM Word Count: nada y pues nada y nada y pues nada
  16. Narias1989

    Chapter 1

    Thanks for the read Brian. I definitely need to polish some places, but I'm having fun just posting. Chapter 2 is awaiting moderation. But, by all means, be pedantic. I can be the same way Best, Narias
  17. Narias1989

    Chapter 1

    Sunday, November 2 11:57 PM Location: San Diego State University Grad-Student Dorms. Weather: It's always sunny in S.D. Except at night. I threw my smutty DH Lawrence novel across the room, slamming my wall with a big SWAPPOW. All because the book was written in first-fracking-person and started with the word “I.” I just wanted to read something for inspiration, because tonight I planned an all-niter for my ten-thousand word short story assignment. But, noooo. In every
  18. Narias1989

    After Dark

    Super Senior Dave Shinozaki-Sanderson has only six hours to write a 10,000 word short story and save the world from The Trespassers' evil plan to destroy the Moon. Dun dun dun. I had a lot of fun working on this story. Plus, there are footnotes! Would love critiques. Will return the favor.
  19. To Catch a Predator-concerning Farrah Hippolyte Gardner Even without rotating her head, Farrah could catch a predator in any direction with her gem-cut compound eyes. The hexapod clung to the end of a pond reed, her short antennae raised to the sky to detect movement. The slender leaf bent under Farrah’s weight and drooped over the algae-carpeted surface of the koi pond. All this would be so much easier if I could only use my wings, she thought. Today, the whole world’s upside-do
  20. This is a short story that I've completed about a dragonfly and her encounter with a toad. I would like to clean it up, and I have some concerns about the POV switch at the end. It might be a little jarring, but we'll see what the readers think.
  21. Memorial Day Matt studied in the lowlight for the MCAT when Teddy arrived in their room and popped The Great Escape into the PS4. “Hey,” Matt called from his desk, “no distractions tonight, man. I’m really behind.” Teddy waved a pair of headphones in the air. “Don’t mind me.” “Don’t be a pest, I need you to go somewhere else tonight--” He can’t stand the sight of me, Teddy thought. “Last time I checked, I pay rent for this room, you know. You’re not the only one worried about
  22. Teddy Chen, a young man who talks to insects after a mysterious accident, returns to school and tries to resurrect his dead ex-lover. He is aided along the way by the ghost of Steve McQueen, inhabiting the body of a mantis. Bizarre? Well, stranger things have happened. Includes some drug use and how to cope with suicide
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