Krista

With Learned to Lie being 99.9% finished, I don't know what to do with myself... I honestly don't. This may be a good way for me to retire, since creatively I don't have a pull towards anything.

I am awake two hours past my bedtime. Conniving Ethan getting more power plays to use later on, just because two idiots can't tell him to fuck their whole ass off. I can believe that his father is the one that did the bruising up, if that's true. I think he genuinely feels trapped and desperation has driven some of this. All the rest of it, is manipulation and mind games. Like I said, he knows what he's doing. He didn't outright throw Five under yet. So his end goal may well and truly be Five in this moment and he's done with Percy for whatever reason. But there is such a thing as playing your cards too early. If he's wanting to get something from Five, then yeah, maybe share that after the fact so you can have your cake and eat it too. If he wanted to break them up so he could have either of his choosing, why not... Percy and Five are giving him all the power moves to do just that. And they only have themselves to blame for the continued initiation of conversations and opening of doors and thoughts that they never had to open after their declaration to one another. Five is still slumming at rock bottom for me too. I am to the point where I don't want to see him happy, like at all. What he's done to Percy in these last two chapters go well beyond anything that I could forgive him for, lifelong friend or not. He is not only flirting a dangerous line with Percy's mind, heart, and body... he's flirting with the ruining of years of love, devotion, trust, and friendship. One that will have a ripple effect through their entire close-knit friend group. If he has an end game of his own, he needs to get to it and be done with it.

I'm going to have to defend Ethan a little bit in this chapter. He is conniving, I give him that. He knows exactly what he's doing. But the only reason he has any power in any of this is because 'they' decided to 'give' that power to him. I stand by what I said in defense of Percy too. Ethan's business before Five and Percy half-ass declared themselves to one another isn't Percy's weight to hold on to. The kiss and forwardness at the bar, sure... but he came clean about that. Ethan is trying to get what he wants... it is a character flaw. But the honesty in all this still is: Percy and Five do not know what they want. They have feelings, yes. They have declared themselves partially attached... but they're still in this mind of pretending is best and we'll go from there. There's marginal honesty in all that. There was zero honesty in Five this chapter. None.

He better do that name justice, for his sake.

It is all still so fresh in my mind, that what has passed.. is something I'm probably going to balk at the idea of switching gears with, to be fair. So it will take some off-hand out of the box thinking whenever I get off the mindset that this is the story I need to work on. If that makes sense. So, a lot of things going on inside my head would be for me to work through as a continuation of this story, but I don't see it being a good idea to do after this next chapter. Maybe this next chapter will feel more like a good place to land completely. Just know that I wanted to do so much more with the writing of this story, but it is Joel's story arc that's telling me that I'm done. Everything else I want to do has to do with Cody, Colt, Lorianne, Davin/Gavin... their stories that I never got around to fleshing out as well as I would have liked. Maybe even Jaxton's, if he decides he's not finished. There's a little Joel in there, but not enough to warrant a prolonged continuation to get me to that one scene I want to do with Joel. So, after this next chapter I'll probably give this story a rest from my brain. Then I'll come back to see if I can come up with a conflict that makes sense to me and is something that I'll be motivated to write. Right now every little thing that I entertain I grimace and say, "oh no, I can't do that.." and that's not going to get me anywhere.

Then: "You know that's gross right?" I said as I watched my sister saunter away. "Hey, I'm keeping it in the family!" Just to give him something to focus on, while Ryan tries to figure his self out because you know he's all messed up inside. A five minute conversation that happened one night with a hug isn't going to fix his mess. Or I could just say to hell with it end it here, call it a novella and go about my day. 😂 Not like I don't have half a dozen things breaking my door down. Reading my comment, I thought that I might have come across too heavy handed with that scene. I want to make it clear to you that I've enjoyed every chapter... every word of this story. It is still so fresh, so chaotic, and so... knee-jerk entertaining. You're doing so well with it. So in that scene I complain about, I was so in the mind of... "oh here we go, we're about to see some fireworks..." and then Gabe, the Lassie that he is, comes around and rescues them. It is not out of character, it is not a fault in the writing. It just happened different than what my brain prepared the next few sentences to be, it was very jarring for me. Who is to say they can't have this passionate heated discussion down the line where they don't know if they're going to punch one another or kiss... because that's a trope too. Add that to list if you must. lol And you can't kill off Lex he's booked for the sequel too, you just have to stop dangling that shiny object in his face. But I get it, Gabe has sort of replaced Lex's character values and weight. Lex was a lot too. It is difficult to carry a story with a huge ensemble of characters, especially in a fast paced story with a lot of action and a lot of details that fall in quickly, and we move on. In slow burn stories there is ample room for everyone. And, it is also a trope for a character to "disappear" and/or be "written out..." with no rhyme or reason. Or whenever their plot points are so diminished that them being there is just...a highly paid extra. Especially if they slow-replace them with someone better. Lex and Gabe fits that trope.

Well well well Krista sounds amusing and adorable and the new star to this whole story. It is now her story, the rest of the characters are just living in it. --- How the turns have tabled... Five you piece of shit. He's learned absolutely nothing about this whole thing. He doesn't know what love is, respect is, or anything. If he did, he first of all, wouldn't have gotten angry about Ethan to begin with. Either time. The hot tub, or the encounter in the gay club. He was there to get his experimenting accomplished with Percy, because he trusted and loved him. But he doesn't respect him, or has shown him little to none here of late. You're a guest in his house, Five. Well his Grandfather's house, but it is a family home. You come in with this plot to seduce your best friend, because urges. All the while you want to convince him that he needs to get out of his own head, spread his big gay ass wings, be more than a closeted baseball player... All well and good. You have a talk, you decide to have this pretend little bromance until Christmas where you insert your penis inside him, dominate him, make him squeal, moan... and get off. When you catch feelings you bring up Percy's own shit against him. No, sir. You don't get to be innocent with this. Percy was doing exactly what you wanted him to do... all of it. He allowed you to seduce him. He allowed you to muddy those friendship waters and blur those lines. He allowed you to convince him that he has feelings. He allowed you to convince him that he needed to branch out and look at other guys and not be this little loner. HE DOES ALL THAT. And you throw it all in his face. And then you do it too. No. I am not a Five fan anymore. Come clean or get out, sir... you've crossed the line with me. Edit: Ohh oh... well then.

Never saw the fascination with Gronk, he always seemed like he couldn't string two connected thoughts together and breathe at the same time. Might just be a me thing though.

Damn. I try not to these days.

Well I'm not going to go into detail how I treat and talk to him. I'm sure he will after reading this exchange. But I've also had a lot of years to develop that kind of... well I'll just call it friendship with him. *whistles* But yes... I'm sure he'll explain, maybe. And embarrass me, but also give me a boost in my mean credibility as well. If that's what he's afraid of though, he may not say anything. We'll see. I HAD to! I couldn't let HIM get away with derailing his topic to bring up the banner. I can't win for winning... my goodness me. I'm not a redhead, my mother is, but I am not. I got my father's dark brown, honey-undertone hair color for which I am thankful, but also a bit bummed because a good shade of red is gorgeous and I don't like it when redheads don't appreciate their own hair colors.

Aww that's adorable. I've tried to get the husband...to read some things... my more tame stories that doesn't have a lot of sex in it or whatever. I think he's read my reincarnation story, parts of Ridley, and he's over my shoulder read parts of Learned to Lie. He's not interested in reading much in the way of fun reading. He'll read articles, stuff of interest, etc. And I have a feeling that I'd likely get along with your husband. He seems a lot better behaved.

As curious as I am, the fact that you redacted it in a moment of self-reflection, I can't have you backslide on that. Growth and what have you, I'm sure. Also, if you're trolling me, then you can't also be my little attack minions. You're supposed to agree when the cheeky little Canadian pokes fun and mocks me... Otherwise you'll have to lose the banner, because you don't deserve the honor of having such a thing.

Oh, I'm also sure that you've probably answered this question, but I've forgotten: Does your husband read your stories? Does he read over your shoulder on GA?

I cried a lot when I wrote Ridley's story. It came to me from an idea that popped in my head. It is the opening scene of the story. "What does one see in their reflection..." but I chose a window and not a mirror. A mirror shows you everything right back in your face whether or not you're prepared to see it in the first place. A reflection in the window is blurry, unfocused. There's a lot going on outside of that window that you can also see, and to notice your reflection in all of that is something most people tend not to even do. It was also a bit geared towards an Anthology theme, but I can't remember the theme. But yeah, that vision in my head of someone sitting alone noticing their reflection in a window, even during a bright sunny day outside it made me want to write it. He was a character that had so much self-awareness, but none all at the same time. He felt like he knew exactly who he was in his own world, but in honesty he had forgotten too. And we know why, which makes him human. Otherwise someone so at odds with themselves wouldn't be relatable or reliable at all as a voice. That's where I'll always love this character and story. He is easily my most complex character ever written. As far as your homework assignment, I agree. I personally didn't see any sexual attraction or awkwardness between them. Something else caused the rift. A lot of somethings that I could build a story on, I feel. But there has to be a sexuality element to write Matt's story. But food for thought, the character dynamics that I could form between Ridley post Homecoming and Matt's own story leading up to and past Homecoming could be interesting. I'd have to honor Ridley's story first though. I can't break 'timeline' or 'cannon' for Matt's story if the timelines are the same as they do have conversations with one another. But yes, thank you for reading this little story. Overlooking the sports balls. and doing the homework assignment I gave you.

Pfft that wouldn't even get them into the following Tuesday... I'd find a away to turn 30,000 words into one long three-part day. I mean I think I did that more than twice already. Then went backwards once and started telling the story of a day that I had already jumped past.

Everything you explained in the first paragraph is why the story has to end, right? Joel wasn't any of those things on the bridge and he is all of those things now. So, what's the story's purpose in continuing? To show more of the same? You get to this never ending plateau after the effort to climb to the top of it. If the story continues on flat and solid ground, then it just doesn't end. It may be new to him, but for me to continue he'd either have to regress, which he has done some, who would want to read that? Or he needs to go 'too far...' which he has shown hints at and become a bit of a destruction to his own achievements... for lack of a better word. I don't think there would be any interest to see him get everything good and then toss it away because he doesn't know when to stop pushing, just because he's learned to start pushing. If you get my meaning. So yeah, the story needs to be about 'his' conflicts. The story is in his POV entirely. Anything else I bring up with other characters shouldn't overshadow or take central stage, so to speak. If Joel's story is over, it simply is over. Unless I can come up with some reason for a new conflict on the horizon that may already be hinted at in this story, I can't justify extending a story just for the sake of it. The only one I truly hinted on was Roy and Joel coming together as a couple, but that was set up in the writing more because I stayed on the fence too long with Davin. Now I love Davin, especially after the bonfire scene with Jaxton. Davin showed a lot of maturity and outright affection, support, and forgiveness with Joel in that moment. He wasn't happy with how Joel acted, but he stood up and walked beside him when he could've just told Joel to piss off and go sulk by the fire. As for the second paragraph thank you for being brave enough to share. We do need more Trace and Celias in the world. Those that can do better and not expect anything. Those that pay attention to people who struggle, and not record them for views and/or laugh at them. This world has taught people how to chew others up and spit them out... use and abuse them. That is why I made Trace and Celia as they were, because I miss people like that as they are few and far between. I do see Cody being a pill with his parents.

I'm amused that we're beating this to death. Yeah, one too many cupcakes can bloat a team's schedule and make them unreliable as a team of merit and worth in general. So when they've eaten a lot of cupcakes then the steak shows up and they can't take two bites out of it... makes you wonder, why so many cupcakes?

Way to try to get the topic back on sports balls, well in this case balls... and pucks. Sticks and uptight Canadian bottoms... But... then you derail it. Shame.

Yeah, in sports balls Cupcake just means an easy team. Usually homecoming schedules a team they can likely beat based on how they played them the year prior... or a school that notoriously sucks. Like a sacrificial lamb of sorts. It doesn't happen all the time, but that's the usual for when I played... who wants to play their last home game of the season and lose it? So schedule a team where that's a lot less likely. The rest of the team should have calmed their asses down and stopped making it about themselves in that moment and focused on the practice in front of them. But yeah, this was a very mixed small thing in the story. People thought if one messes up, all mess up and all should be punished with the laps. As a team learning experience and him sitting whilst the others were punished continued to place him outside a bit. But he was also the only one going above all of it, even when they were being shitty towards him, and did what he was expected to do. I guess in smaller towns, for a special sort of homecoming paper feature it would be a bigger thing. It is plot driven, as I think after Ridley said no and stopped cooperating with them, they would've moved back to the Captain and did a puff piece on him. Realistically anyway. But you know how the press is in real life too, it is the story no one has... that everyone wants. This was the 'last' time they were ever going to get a "Riddles" feature... as basketball is winding down and that's the sport he plays. Lol.. hush, we know how that interview would've played out... poor Ridley's butthole. I think this is the story where I had a lot of biting pieces of inner-narrative that I enjoyed. I didn't see a lot of that with, "Learned to Lie," but Ridley's narrative was sort of blunt and had bite at times. He was borderline bitter and heartbroken.

Yeah, you hit upon some of the issues that I had after reading it and calling it 'the final' chapter myself. So it is solidifying in my mind that I needed to do that last chapter. I'm not even calling it an Epilogue, I think it will 'be' the last chapter. It is a shorter chapter, only 6600 words, I'm thinking. I'm also not a miracle worker there's a lot of the stuff you listed above not in it... as all of that would take me a lot of time. Time I don't have with this story, not in the way that I would want to go about it anyway. I have a rather clean slate after the next chapter posts. I don't know what I want to tackle next. I know if "Book 2" of this, if it were to cross my mind to do... would need to take priority and be started rather quickly, with efficient writing. Otherwise I'll have people forgetting a lot of this story, and not be interested in this one. That's the biggest knock I have against even entertaining the idea. Time will get the better of me. If you look, this story was was first posted in what... 2023? As a one-off short story. People wanted more, but I had Elias posting at the time, and finishing up The Best Year to get that monster of a story completed. Then the writing started for this story and it took me over a year. I think I started reposting this story back in April and it is now January of 2026 and we're still posting. So yeah, if y'all are 100% willing to wait an entire year+ for "Book 2" which I have no idea how I'm going to do as it is - which may take the process longer. I'll begin to entertain that thought. Otherwise, I think this story will stand as it is and I can move along to something else. I do love these characters and I think they're in a spot where I can pick them back up. There's a lot of plot dynamics in my head that I wish to cover, but I'm not going to say it is enough to warrant a continuation or a book 2 either. Especially since the main two conflicts within this story are resolving. Joel's mindset/fears and the conflict and not knowing where he belongs. A whole book worth of mushy Javin won't get me very far, I need conflict... true and legitimate conflict. I don't think Jaxton has that in him either, being bested three times already, unfortunately. And who needs a Cliche bully being the main source of conflict. It would have to come in the form of Javin problems to make it worthwhile. Maybe if I never established a relationship with anyone, book 2 would be about "Finding Love.." since Book 1 was all about Joel finding himself, mostly... and Davin happened to be a willing body in all that self discovery. This is me rambling. Do not take this as any sign that my mind is weighing this option... for now I am just 'torn' on what to do next and I always have these 'what if' scenarios hopping in and out of my brain. I am a one project person it will also need to be a project I feel motivated to do and maybe Joel/Davin isn't all that motivating to me at the moment. What I will say though is that I've loved every minute of the posting of this story. There were chapters and writing that unnerved me, I was a wreck through parts of it, especially the slower and more bogged down Joel portions there in the middle. Then the New writing reinvigorated the story for me. But yes, there's no pushing conflict with this story anymore, just side-plot and character dynamics that I'm interested in. The main story is over. So, yeah.. that's where my head is at the moment. Like I said though it changes with the day.

Excuse you sir, but ladies do not burp. Edited: Also, I do get fussed at for my long paragraphs, especially in early writing. I seem to bog myself down in long paragraphs early in writing projects and it hurts the flow of information.

If it is in first person and the Narrative voice prefers their name shortened as a character dynamic introduced in the writing, then it should be consistent. Pet names, nicknames, etc, otherwise I think should be spoken in dialogue and shouldn't bleed out into the narrative POV. But yeah, I'd rather be consistent with names. For example if you begin to shorten the name later in the writing, but didn't in the early writing. Or, if you switch up the nickname later than what it was earlier. Alexander -- Alex -- A. I think it was Stephanie Meyer that went three books calling all the Cullens by their full names and then all of a sudden we started shortening some of them. Like Jasper became "Jazz," or "Jas," and Emmett became, "Em.." I want to say. There were others. It irked the hell out of me when I read it. It is rather common for characters to be given shortened names or nicknames though. Clarissa to Clary, Isabella to Bella, Alexander to Alex/Alec, Christopher to Chris/Topher. If consistently done I don't really have an issue with it. Especially in first if the narrative is from a friend that would honor the nickname over their given one. Third, I'd say if nicknames started popping up in the narrative writing, it could get a bit confusing.

Did I clutch my pearls, yes.. yes I did. Do I agree that he can come across as a jerk, yes... I can. Who is the closet case? Ridley or Matt? If Matt is noticing boobies, then he can't be a closet case... or well full on closet case, he can still be bisexual and what have you. Ridley is too nice for a full on fuck and you, I'm thinking. Do I even swear that much in this story? I went all out with the swearing in, "Learned to Lie," and y'all don't know how many F-bombs I cut from that story because I thought I had done it too much... and there was still a lot. It wouldn't have gotten him anywhere, just another trip to someone else telling him that he has to cooperate. And no, feet pictures are creepy, no. And also my tense issue, sentence structure, and all that is why we could never co-write it would drive you too insane. Which I don't care, cause I have no interest in fixing things all that dramatically. It would cause me more harm than good, as in I'd be like, "if I can't be more me, then I can't be doing this..." and stop this writing thing. I know we should be in this thing to learn better writing habits and fix our issues, but I'm also well in the knowledge that I am stuck in my bad habits and it will take more effort than I am willing to put in.

Aww. I'm going to have to read Ridley again with this in mind, I think. If I ever wanted to revisit the story, I mean. It wasn't clear, I do remember that. I've always been of the mind with how you assessed Ridley. His very narrow focus didn't allow for much.

I feel conspired against... 😮 What's this? Oh no, no, no.