Krista

Well you got through it. lol. I did, I made him a walking punching bag of loss, shortcomings, sacrifice, and poor decisions. I drove him crazy and I don't think he could function well by the end of the story... and I don't even know what all I did to him, I'm just basing it off y'all's comments.. lol. And knowing I didn't title it, "Good Guys Finish Last," for a happy story... but I've lied with titles in the past... I suck at titles as you well know. I didn't remember the selling of the house until you said it, then I remembered doing that. Yeah, his mother should have known the damage done there and left all that alone. Although, I don't know how Charlie could've kept the house? I have no idea if I set him up financially for anything.. if I killed his dog, I doubt it.. lol. I was brutal, I'm thinking.

Okay... a lot to unpack here. 😮 Goodness me. I really liked the talk between Sky and his father. The 'I'll always be the rock that formed the foundation of you...' sentiment I got from him was lovely. Fathers should be that foundational strength. It wasn't overstated like a bulldozer, but it was still there. Pointing to his mother being the one that can and 'lives' for these crisis fixes was a good nod. That whole dynamic of the three of them was lovely, it brought the family together in a more pristine picture for me. I hope it comes out in the wash how they color coordinated with Ryan down to the same fabric in their vests and clothing though. For him to fall seamlessly into blue. Unless Sloane somehow got the details of what both Ryan and Madison planned to wear to the dance, or if it was somehow just common knowledge. Lex being absent again, is the guy really that horny? I always knew Madison never had it in her. Sloane on the other hand is criminal, pure criminal. Was the phone conversations AI? Were they real? I'm sure that will also come out in the next chapter. Madison seemed to think they were completely fake and AI, which would be a rather dismissive and shaky explanation for such a thing. Or was Sloane involved with the person, to get true and honest betrayal. She may be showing to have too many connections, but someone plotting the downfall of someone else, thorough as it seemed to be... I could see her putting pieces into place for months, if not years. She may not have wanted this crown, but Madison will not be getting Prom Queen after all this. I almost felt sorry for Madison. Maybe I've gone soft. That was a beefy shove from her though to put Sky right on his ass. But she folded too quickly, again. It was telling. I did not like Gabriel coming in to explain the whole thing. I think that was more than a couple of steps too far. There was so much raw and organic chemistry just hovering in the air between Ryan and Skylar in that moment. I even took a breath and prepared myself for it. Then Gabe steps around and not only explains the whole thing, but sort of speaks 'for' Skylar and left no option for Skylar, but to prove the words honest and correct. By nodding at first, then showing him a picture and name from his phone. Gabe took his voice from him in that moment and I didn't care for it, it put me off him. Part of Skylar's journey is finding the strength in his own words and he wasn't given the opportunity to do that. Ryan heard Gabriel when he should've been hearing Skylar. So, with that said... the paranoid author in me thinks that Gabriel coming around the corner, tracking them down yet again... forcing another wall between them... words vs. actions in my brain not falling in line makes me think that like Sloane, he's playing a very long game.

That would be the golden scenario, wouldn't it? I honestly can't remember if that's how I do writing or not... I don't think it is...

Sighs... just... sigh.

It would be interesting. I find deleted scenes and further discussions fascinating, as we get to see the creative paths you took. Your mindset with the cuts, additional writing, content, etc. But yeah, I'd keep it differentiated from the original and allow the original to continue to stand alone. The Footnote and links, making the story more -- well the word slipped right out of my brain mid sentence -- more... interactive? For a lack of a better word.. could be interesting as well.

You could've just read Ridley and already been done. But noooo. Also, chapter titles.. they scare me. Are you sure you're not angling for early content? I'm sure you can come up with catchy titles, you seem adept with your own writing.

Also, some people may find it a fault for their minds to be challenged when something is concretely established and then you start posting conflicting information, that may change or muddle that a bit. You may also just add them as: Deleted Scene 1: Explain where it falls within the story, why it was cut. Deleted Scene 2: --- etc. Within the same document. Give them a fair chance to make up their own minds if they want that information or not.

Yeah that didn't take long, did it?

For me, if it is so important that it changes established character arcs, plot, pacing, or large sections of known and accepted knowledge then it is better implemented from the beginning. If added later, there can be some confusion. At least if posted within the same chapter/created document. Maybe as side-prompts with explanations as to why they were all cut from the original could work. I personally wouldn't slot them into the same document in the off-chance it does cause confusion. You will see that I did that with a story you're currently reading and it infuriated people and caused a lot of unnecessary confusion. Not that the writing in that story did that throughout the whole thing, mind you.

Yeah tell 'em! Hold your ground. lol

Oh my goodness me... Not even going to look for the .gif. lol but that both made me laugh and clutch my pearls.

I am strong willed and stubborn enough to balk at every one of those. If I were in the mood to be spiteful @Okiegrad's 2026 Christmas present would be coming rather early. In glorious sex-filled awkward butt-stuff passion of a trainwreck... But the story is completed and there isn't any sex in the next chapter.

That was in this chapter. He ate the first set of wings. But yeah, during the first visit to the Kepler house Davin and Gavin ate a pizza and Joel had wings. Gavin even fussed at Joel to speak up and say what he really wants, if he didn't like the pizza.. to get wings on the ride over. I am surprised I remembered that in great detail, but the Kepler house chapter was one of my favorite chapters in the writing... probably one of the least favorite for readers as nothing really happens but Davin character development and knowing their family dynamics that are actually more effed up than Joel's... to be fair.

Not true, it is because I am slow at writing, I can go weeks to a month without opening word documents... have to reread my own story to know where to go next, etc. Definitely not true about you not being a good writer, as you are. Confirmed.

Rather unfortunate ship name, so the sex has to be hot to overcompensate.

You did come up with it, it was clever... and I almost laughed when I read that section, because it was absolutely true. It sucks that it didn't cross my mind that Lorianne saw him naked before Joel... and that everyone knew that whole scenario. Hmm... if it is to be a signature, at least make it pretty.

Even if I did, it would take me over a year to write. You can probably get like three stories done in that time... and keep your job. Maybe even behave yourself, who knows.

I gave you compliments! I said you were efficient in all things, take the compliment my dear I don't give them out often.

Lol, I think I'd have to draw the line at someone continuing my story and characters from the point of close. Alternative universes, wild shenanigans, and character studies are fine.. But what if I wanted to write a sequel? It would be like me competing with myself, but not myself... and that confused me, so can't happen.

Now hold on a minute, Joel had BBQ wings during that depressing house tour of the Kepler house. Where he got his shoulder squeezed in the hot tub by a mostly buzzed Davin. So there. Maybe you were distracted by the wet butts in that chapter, I don't know.

Sorry, I wish I could offer you a refund if anything for the lack of wet butts. Since you're doing this all to yourself though, free will and all that... I cannot. And I probably very much almost wrote a SA. I very much did write one in 'Something Unexpected...' my earlier writing didn't have healthy or proper relationships... as I hadn't had a healthy and proper relationship yet - I mean I dated, but they were all very innocent little things that I barely count them as anything more than just a step above friendship.. I was going to say friendships with kissing, but I kissed the gays and girls in my life as I did my boyfriends at the time. I was also writing sex scenes as a full blown virgin... although also female, it put me at a disadvantage. Life matters some in writing and I had been rather sheltered of the world then...

My rambles are fair game, I'm thinking. But if you ever publish for profit I want my fair cut.

Which is probably a good thing, at least as far as the person you squared up against is concerned. They throw a punch and you somehow keel them over with a toothpick and ambition or something...

There is a reason I've not marked this story as complete yet. As I have one more chapter to post. It will be the end though. It isn't an epilogue. Something in this chapter just failed with me and I kept thinking... it has missed its mark. So I set out writing a fix for it over a week ago after reading and doing some trimming down work. So yeah... we get to round out this story in 32 chapters. No epilogue. It is a short chapter, just around 6600 words if I'm remembering correctly. Next week, or whenever this chapter gets posted will be the last one.

That's your kindness? Remind me to be nice to you, forever.