FindThySky

Thanks a lot for your support and feedback. I really wasn't sure what people would think as this is my 1st story coming in. I don't think I would extend on this particular story but I could do a separate one. I'll have a look at what I can do.

Thanks for the comment! 😀 The story is meant to be single-chapter with the aim of capturing a moment in their lives, but I could do a series of how these two met or some other multi-chapter work based on exploring their relationship. With short stories like these I don't really manage to develop these characters, so I might have to take a step back and start from the start. What manner of story would you like to see? I've got nothing planned at the moment.

I tipped the contents of the crumb tray into the bin, scraping off the stubborn bits and pieces with a finger. “You know, babe,” I began. “These toasters scare the crap out of me sometimes.” “What?” Nate cracked the final egg into the bowl and cast his gaze back at me in amusement. He stopped humming the tune to whatever song was on loop in his head. “Where’d that come from?” “Oh you know, when the bread pops out. It’s so unexpected it gives me a jumpscare.” I slotted the tray back under

“You know, babe, these toasters scare the crap out of me sometimes." The greatest joys of life can lie in the simplest, everyday things. A morning starts off rather more exciting than Jake had expected as he and Nate prepare breakfast. A short story of two lovers' chemistry with a side of goofy toastiness.

Oh my goodness. I've just been on a rollercoaster of emotion for the last 24 hours as I marathoned my way through this. This story is . . . I don't even know. I can't describe it with a single word. "Incredible" is a gross understatement. It actually managed to make me forget to breathe during some of the more tense moments. It just feels so real, I suppose. You've really conveyed the inner workings of a boy who is to a lesser or greater extent broken. It's almost like Zack's mind is a wanderer in a labyrinth with monsters around every corner. Sometimes his thoughts swirl in circles and other times he clashes with his doubt and insecurities. The shift in his emotions can be so abrupt even I started to have doubts as to how long he can remain happy as the story progressed and whether he's really recovering. I do not mean to pry, but the realism you incorporate into Zack's character, personality and internal dialogue makes me wonder if this story is to some extent drawn from some past experiences. Whether it's a work of imagination or not, it doesn't diminish the story's power. It doesn't diminish your voice that comes through the text. Whatever happens, I hope that eventually, Brody can mend Zack's internal wounds. The little cinnamon roll must be protected! 😄 Brody is having that effect already, but even though the tension is building I personally don't see a fitting end for the villain in this story for quite some time, unfortunately. I would love some more insight into Zack's father's backstory, if possible. Why is he the way he is? Did something happen in his past? At the end of the day Zack is still his flesh and blood. Why does he seem to neglect that entirely? I would still never forgive someone of such qualities, but perhaps there is more to his perspectives than it seems. And goodness me I sincerely hope he never lays a finger on Zack's friends and his mother. That would be terrible but depending on how you wish to develop the plot, that may come to pass. What else is there to say? I know there was a significant gap in the update between chapter 25 and 26, but I hope you don't feel pressured to deliver updates. I'm happy to wait so long as your writing is of this quality. I will follow this story until it is complete, Comsie. This has been a fabulous journey you've given us, and I'm content in knowing we've not yet reached the destination. Thank you for your dedication. 👍

Apologies for not leaving a comment last chapter. There wasn't much for me to say, so I just left a like. 😅 This is a great setup chapter for complications. So here, Rex and Andy are twelve years of age, I believe? Exploring the notion that people grow apart through physical distance and time is a good approach. They are at the age where things can grow rather confusing quickly and there is so much potential for external and internal conflict. Andy still wants to continue their friendship. Rex seems to be adapting to life in Canada and is becoming less and less inclined to travel back and forth. The next chapter should be a very interesting one. Perhaps Andy will confront Rex about his predicament. I was a little surprised when Rex proposed that dare out of the blue. But upon consideration it's not at all unreasonable. It shows that their bond of friendship is close enough—at least for Rex—to speak of such things comfortably. As such, it's a superb setup for how this bond will be challenged in the chapters to come. I'm intrigued to see if there would perhaps be an explanation as to why Rex acted as he had. Maybe he is also figuring out his identity. Maybe he had developed feelings for one of his friends in Canada. There are so many ways the plot can progress from here.

It's a pretty good start. You've managed to set up the foundations and introduced us to the characters. I feel the pacing is a little fast but as a prologue I think it is understandable to not delve into too much depth. It'll be interesting to see how you seek to develop Andy and Rex in the "present" when they are no longer together. I don't find the pacing problematic, but it's more the fact that you tend to be telling, not showing. For example: "Cynthia might have seemed strict, but she was actually a great woman." How is Cynthia a great woman? What is it that makes her great? You've done well to show her tone of speech as comforting and that is associated with a positive quality for a character, but I would have loved for a bit more character descriptions and interactions to show what they are like. As a suggestion, one potential I see for this is when you wrote: "Even though our families had already 'officially' said goodbyes over dinner the previous night, I had to go and see Rex one more time." Imagine the dialogue that could have taken place when the families were saying goodbye if you inserted that as a plot point. That offers quite a lot of depth into developing their character profile. For example, would Cynthia be saying goodbye with a smile to show that she accepts the next phase of their life and thus portrays her as someone not afraid of change? Would she have tears in her eyes to mirror the fact that she does not wish to leave this place and is easily affected by emotion? Would her husband Thomas be slightly irritable because he wants to pack the luggage quickly? That can display him as a man who likes to stay ahead of schedule. The possibilities of these little details are endless and really sets up their personalities for what is to come. 😁 In any case, the potential for such a plot has captured me. I'll follow you along on the journey. Remember to always consider what it is you have written and what more you could write to further enhance it. Good luck!

Good day, everyone. It's a pleasure to be here. 👋😁 I've wanted to write a kind of romance story for a long, long time. But every time I try it either ends up getting much longer than I expect or I get caught up in a writer's block. Will this time be different? I sure hope so! I've got one in the pipeline at the moment. Progress is slow as I like to approach my writing methodically, which may be part of the reason why I never managed to put anything substantial out there. I've read articles regarding how it can be better to just launch straight in and let the momentum do the work but as much as I agree it's feasible I tend to overthink and can't adjust to that mindset. But, I digress. I'll do my best to deliver something polished that both I and any potential readers enjoy, even though it may be a while before I do so. Thanks for having me GA! See you guys around. 😀