Thanks, Will.
I'm perfectly happy for you to continue making suggestions. However, you should probably be made aware that your suggestions will not always be followed. Understand that this story has been in publication for four years, and that I have been working with editors for most of that time. I am by no means going to get offended by grammatical suggestions.
That being said, I want to make a note here. The things you are pointing to are all technically true. They note small speech inconsistencies or points of awkwardness. You should be made aware, though, that many of these are intentional. People in real life do not speak with perfect grammar, and there are certain speech notations that, while technically incorrect, parse into speech more easily. "Your father and I" for example, is an article of common parlance, and as a result, tends to be used more often than "your father and me".
The same goes with James and "look at me different". The word choice there was chosen to be awkward, specifically because he is, in that moment, a twelve year old talking about something that he finds uncomfortable. He speaks awkwardly, because he's feeling awkward.
Don't mistake me, though. I'm not offering a blanket refutation, here. "I was informed that these ones should be a decent match" is a valid point of critique, and I will go over it with my editor when they're around. I'm happy to receive more notes. Just don't expect them to be uniformly followed.