Rkench

Ok. That might be the most poetic thing you’ve written here so far. It also shows there is far more going on with Mike than what Corbin derisively calls a Jarhead with a GPA lower than gas prices. Of course, in this day and age he could have been an honor roll student with current gas prices.

Sorry. My heart breaks for Mike here. He really is trying to evolve beyond the caveman stereotype he was told to be — or else. None of the three main players here is without fault but all three also have points. Even Dom had a smidge of a point Corbin acknowledged in the house ban. Much later in this series, Corbin compliments one character as playing chess where a rival who thinks highly of his own skills is playing checkers. Dom might as well be playing solitaire.

“Our library was built like a serial killer’s dream” Next on HGTV: “ Jeffry Dahmer’s Cribs.” That sentence made me laugh. I think it’s true of all older universities, at least in the south. UF Gainesville’s library stacks were just as creepy when I was there in the late 80s and Early 90s. I’m sure (or at least hope) they’ve renovated by now.

This is my second time through this saga as it stands so far. Knowing things I shouldn’t know yet understandably colors my perceptions. Mike, Corbin and Pete are all richly contradictory characters, which leaves you as a writer with acres to plow in terms of plot and motivations. There are no clear right or wrong sides here. That said, this go round I’m struck by how unreliable Corbin often is as a narrator, considering he’s looking back at his own life. I have my own less-than-neat-and-tidy way I would like this to eventually wrap up, but it’s your story. I look forward to seeing where you believe it should head.

I’d happily read more if you post it, but I kinda also hope that you don’t. I love the characters and for a first published story, it’s better than 90% of what others here and on nifty are writing at their peak. But having started backwards with Loelife, then BossNanny to this I can clearly see and feel how much you’ve learned from doing. I’m about to start Three Strikes. I bet I feel the same way once I’m done. Maybe I’d like a follow to this as a time jump. The kids are teens and Colin and Charlie are navigating that while coping with Stanley and Mike trying to retire and how all of that shakes up their relationship.

I thought I was the only one who never slept. Then again, I don’t know what time zone you’re in. 😉

An extremely subtle, yet telling example of how our own state of mind colors our memories and can make us unreliable witnesses through no fault of our own. The more he gets caught up in his Trauma, the more he projects his feelings and memories onto Aiden. Well played.

Please don’t take this the wrong way. The last couple of chapters played out beautifully. They provide about Everything anyone who cares about this couple wants to see. I truly think you’ve earned the emotions. Yet. If there were some kind of “directors cut” of this story, it feels like there should have been one more minor misstep — most likely by Jay for balance — to help them both see their futures were truly inevitably intertwined, yet in need of nurturing. I’m a romantic at heart, so even a little before the crucifix conversation with Lars on I’ve loved Loe’s growth arc. Yet, at your best, you play with the grayscales of hearts, emotions and motivations. I certainly wouldn’t feel the want or need for anything as big as Jay’s post-beach-wedding revelation, but even before the end of this current chapter, a wedding feels pre-ordained. Fatherhood feels within relatively easy reach. That said, I adored the metaphor of Loe’s house reflecting the state of Loe’s life. His entire adulthood. Lots of missteps and half-finished projects says a lot. Well-played.

Well, thanks. I’m appreciating your work, but I have to disagree that Boss Nanny should be read first. I read Loelife first, then found the overlapping chapters to be entertaining in the variance when I read Boss. In both stories, you allow your main characters to have depth and dimension as you spell out your stories and reveal what makes them tick. I enjoyed trying to figure out the whys. I also appreciate making Jay one of the smartest characters.

Extremely late to the party here, but I find Jay’s take on nudity to be refreshing. I’m certainly one to appreciate the shirtless hot man or three, but I do also appreciate those who take an alternate view. I’ve read this story through once already, so I know where we are headed, but Loren doesn’t have many people in his life that challenge him the way Jay does. For brilliant people, that variance in perspective can be like catnip, when it is genuine and well reasoned.

It appears he’s moved to Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/Jwolf24450/posts