SilentandBroken

I was waiting for something to trigger him. That’s exactly what it’s like

OMG YES THIS above is SPOT ON. Abused kids are experts and building fortresses around themselves and the author has portrayed it perfectly.

I’ve had teachers like Mr. Raffe in high school and what I discovered is that they saw potential. Some push me to better like Raffe is Zack, more so than other students. Other teachers didn’t. Maybe that’s what’s going on here and Zack is blind to it bc of the abuse from his father and he feels threatened by his teacher sort of the same way at least verbally. I’m not sure Mr Raffe handled Zack’s announcement of his intentions correctly. Idk. It’s something to ponder I suppose. The important thing here is Zack stood up for himself. Love that

Half way through that alley conversation I wanted to scream at Brody for Zack “DON’T YOU GET IT?! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LET YOU HELP ME!! I don’t know how…” all I ever wanted was someone like Brodie to just bury my face into their shoulders and let them lead me away from the hell I was living at their age. 13-16 was hell for me. But then, Brody held his hand the whole way through the front doors…oh my heart..

Abuse does so much more damage emotionally under surface and the way the author shows it in Zack’s frame of mind is perfect. The doubt, the extremely high anxiety and adrenaline, the self hate, the persistence of self denial of positive things in his life like the clear love and worry the other boys have for him each in their own way..and his mother too..Zack clearly doesn’t see it and at this point things can go either way. They can heal him or the relationships can deteriorate completely. You are so damn good at this man.

yeah, it did bring back some memories. Painful ones. But thankfully I’ve had years to distance myself from that environment and years of therapy to learn how to heal and how to cope. One thing I’ve found therapy does is numbs you sometimes too much with emotions you don’t want to lose. Like ok, for example, in the story Zack is a bit of a pin ball being bounced around in his own head with his rapidly changing emotions and at times those negative thoughts are his own doing. He feeds them. PART of THAT is because due to his emotional trauma, that’s what normal looks like and FEELS like. It itself is an emotion. It’s a cruel familiar comfort and it sucks. It becomes a easy habit to build up and in the intercession of his friends you see exactly how blind he is to it and how hard he fights (logically in his mind) to protect it. Zack tried to talk everyone (including himself) out of admitting the truth. I can only imagine how painful it is to watch someone you love basically fight from self destruction but only make it worse for themselves with their efforts. thank you for your sympathies

Ok um *sniffles*… I need a minute because THAT confrontation and breakdown of Zack with is friends was too god damn close to what I went through. There is only one way that the author can write this as well as he did. Only ONE. Having been in that position I can tell you first hand how hard this is. You see in Zack’s behavior, his desperate attempt to deflect to protect everyone and sacrifice himself how just how important it is to speak up when you see something that looks questionable in an abuser person’s behavior. The ONLY way this shit ever stops is intercession. To the author: I am so sorry you experienced this shit. I know how hard it must’ve been to write and share to the world . I am sorry for my abuse. I so proud of both of us for allowing friends to help at least some. Yeah I know it’s not over yet. It’s never over. Not even after they’re dead. The trauma remains. The habits that were built to hide everything take years to break. I won’t lie, this story had me balling as I recognized myself in Zack’s behavior. I balled for you too. Nobody should have to go through this shit. Whew this is a hell of a story you’re sharing.

Omg omg omg I can’t even breathe right now. At first I was hoping Brodie would put 2 & 2 together when he found Zack at the store soaked and desperate..now this, ugh I hope they see the truth. I hope they act on that. . Zack you precious soul… clearly your father knows where to hit and how to cover his tracks but he is losing control because random variables like the boys showing up unannounced.. I keep waiting for the old neighbor to call the cops and they catch his father in the act of beating Zack again.

Omg oh Zach…i feel for Brodie too. You had e crying at the end. To the author: if the other comment about this story being true in regards to the relationship between your father and you, you deserve a huge hug. I believe it is true judging how well you wrote his thought processes. That is how truama works

Ugh so jealous…I did NOT expect that

OMG!! Zack! Ugh.. oh my heart. Dammit this author can write. Will Zack finally tell him? What is Brody gonna do? I know having being both sexually and physically abused as a teen I wanted a white knight ..but I never had one. But if I did I know I’d want something to happen

OMG!! Zack! Ugh.. oh my heart. Dammit this author can write

Dude you fucking get IT. I swear you are writing my story with some minor changes. I thought i was the only one who experienced shit like this

Omg can you write! Zack is so real..so….me at14.i just needed a Brody

Omg you have the struggle of depression and battle of ptsd and anguish from abuse down to a T. I’ve been there. I can relate so much to Zack. Unfortunately I too had someone who was like Brody but had a dark side. He was an older student who was a narcissistic abuser too. He had me under thumb for so long. That is ancient history now but I truly appreciate how skillful you are in your writing in this genre and character development. So good. I want to wrap Zack in my arms and just love him and hold him and at the same time I can feel how Zack feels. I wanted a hero to do that hold me and embrace me and save me and be my white knight. So many tears I shed in my flashbacks from this story to this point. Please do not stop. I find these stories help me heal. Thank you.