JLynch

I love the way you write dialogue.

Great chapter! Well done!

I don’t understand the context of this comment or the thread.

Fiction defined: Prose that describes imaginary people and events. But, even if imaginary, a compelling story is told from the writer’s life experience. Even if one of the characters is the narrator, the story is still told through the eyes of the one who puts it down on paper (or rather taps it out on the keyboard). Therefore, dear Jason, you are free to alter, revise, or reimagine any episode or reference any encounter in whatever way you want. And, you do it very well. I’ve been rolling a new story around in my head for a few weeks now, unsure of the main character and the supporting cast. No real plot, just a random set of episodes. But, the other day I was executing a project at a small rural elementary school. A boy crossed my path, catching my eye, and igniting my imagination. I fast forwarded a few years in his life and he became a central character in whatever this tome will become. So, the boy was real, the rest imaginary. Last night, I was watching television and a commercial came on, presenting me with an idea for the story arc. The ad was real as was its important subject matter. The story arc has become my fiction. Many of the incidents in my two most recent works have come from past experiences. But, hardly any of them are a literal recounting of what happened. Rather, they are mostly fantasies of what I might have wished happened. Told well enough, I suppose, and they become real. One commenter asked of Shamus Bueller’s gay coming of age novel, “Rory Gets His,” “Where can I find this?” Or, of the homeless kid, Apollo, another commenter wished, “I hope he’s okay,” as if he was a real person. He’s not. So, write away! Make it as real, revisionist, or imaginary as you want. Just make it good!

So, is this true, or revisionist history, or fiction?

This is an awesome story! Fate flips! I’m totally bought into that idea now. I love how you brought the irresistible urge for pepperoni pizza into resigning himself to the soupy msg laden Chinese food resulting in a connection to a cute guy and a date. Who wudda thunk!

One of your great talents, especially evident in the scene between the two boys, is your description of the smells. Our olfactory nerve is perhaps our most powerful sense, certainly the most memory inducing. I can remember things from the time I was a small child when I encounter a smell or odor. The encounter between Brandon and his parents is ugly, for sure. The depth of its bitterness will hopefully be explored further. In the meantime, Brandon is apparently just watching Dylan and Billy. What is he thinking? Well written chapter. A great introduction to these characters.

Thanks so much for staying with this until the end. I so much appreciate your generous comments and astute observations. You were one of the few that was able to sniff Elliott out early in the game.

What a great set-up! A comment: I’m wondering if the description each boy gave of themselves wouldn’t have been better (more realistic?) as narrative rather than dialogue.

Yes…a good question. Who DOES own THAT island??

“It was so much fun to write” is the operative phrase here. If that’s what it was, then the story is a grand slam home run. If others enjoy (and many have and will), it’s a bonus. Thanks again for your extraordinarily wonderful comments. I’m blushing here.

Gosh! I love the way this chapter is written. Realistic, giving us a well-crafted vision of Brandon’s apartment (room?) and the two main characters. Their history apart and together is revealed so creatively in their dialogue. Hot—even without actual sex.

OMG…that is amazing!

Oh, yes! That Elliott!

You have every right to be suspicious of all of these characters.

Lies, lies, and more lies! Thanks again for your fabulous comments and speculation, Summer!

It’s The Maine Manse (which has different meanings although mine is short for “mansion”). I’m terribly flattered. Carey spent most of those two days in a kind of stunned stupor over the behavior of the entire Maine family (Lifestyles of the Rich and Careless). Harper and Bell…what a crazy brother-sister combo, she with the wild sex drive and Bell with a similar but more warped libido. I must admit I never thought much more about a love triangle but, there ya go—it’s yours! Run with it! I want to see what you write but, now that I think about it, this kind of situation could be further explored in a future story…if there is one. Bell and Ozzie…two of a kind, don’t you think? I just love those rich bad boys. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if they met?

I’m reviewing comments and realized I forgot to ask you: what scene did I write that you desperately wished I would have explored further?

Actually, the FBI didn’t know about Stuart until Tyrone snapped that photo of him closing the transaction with Dickie Lee. Remember, Valdespino had to order a “last known” from one of the techs on duty to be sure. It was only then that the FBI was able to generate a vague sketch for local law enforcement and the Fibbies on the scene to use. Stuart and Elliott are so illusive that even the FBI hasn’t ever set eyes on them. And, in spite of that fact, they respect their skills enough to hire them for “special” projects.

Thanks, Chip! But, I am NOT Shamus!

Ha! That would be fun Dog! I also write some sketch comedy…have dreamt about one of my sketches being performed on “Saturday Night Live.” Regrettably, they don’t take solicited scripts.

I just did. Thanks again, Scrubber, for being such a supportive and enthusiastic reader.

They spooned together on the California king bed, the dinner tray filled with what was left of a steak frites dinner for two, near their feet. A bottle of champagne, half consumed, was on the room service table. The lights of downtown Minneapolis twinkled outside the tall windows of the upper floor suite in the trendy Rand Tower Hotel. Heavy drapes, dramatic lighting, ornate wallpaper, and 12-foot ceilings. Elliott yawned, nudging the guy behind him. He could tell from his breathing that h

You’re correct about Ozzie. It’s not the amount of money that juices him, it’s the fact that people are willing to pay to watch him.

Thanks, Summer! ‘Glad you’re enjoying my story.