E K Stokes

Good point, I'm amazed your comment went into so much detail, but thank you for this constructive criticism, it's noted. On a similar note, this story was submitted to another site where they actually got down to editing it and at the same time rejected it asking me to rewrite it. So I know it's a long way from perfect.

I think you constructed a good story out of a difficult prompt, April Fools Day would never have inspired a story from me, I kind of think you drew the short straw!

The story was easy to read and full of surprises. An enjoyable story.

I was left with one simple question on my mind: why was Gavin/Calvin marrying Lilah? I know he had this three some thing in his head, but you don't get married for that.

And you are right to wonder. I wanted a who done it that finishes with a perfectly plausible explanation and yet leaves some doubt in the reader's mind - did I really get it right, is that how it happened, or... I hope it's not too sneaky on my part not to dot all the I-s and cross all the T-s, I think there's a space for doubt, there usually is in a lot of crimes!

Yes is the answer. Arnold certainly could have been covering for his wife. I left that possibility open!

A very good question, which is difficult to answer. Carlos tried to escape the scene, he knew with his past criminal record he might carry the can for a murder he didn't commit. It's an intricate web of deceit and who is telling the truth is not absolutely clear.

Yes, sort of, only I wouldn't place Arnold as the deliverer of divine retribution, he was more very protective of his wife and even if he confessed there was no real proof that he murdered Roland, and if he did, was it intentional, was it premeditated. I think a jury would need to decide and we'd hope they drew the right conclusion!

A very engaging story that was a history lesson as well. I was lost in eighteenth century America as you described the confrontations and eventual explosive outcome. There was no age such as teenage in those times, boys were adult at 11 or 12, at least expected to act like they were and certainly accept the responsibilities. As Benjamin Franklin wrote in his autobiography: At the age of 12, he was apprenticed to his brother, James, a Philadelphia printer. Franklin recalled that his brother was “passionate” and often beat him. “Thinking my apprenticeship very tedious,” Franklin stated, he “was continually wishing for some opportunity of shortening it.” At the age of 17, Franklin ran away from his brother’s household. How different life was for teenagers in those years.

Herrera found himself drawn into an increasingly complex web of intrigue. The more he looked at the case, the more questions arose. One such question was the potential involvement of Giovanni Salvatore, the powerful figure from Ardmani. While it seemed far-fetched, the scenario was not entirely impossible. If Giovanni had somehow obtained the remaining pills from Roland, he could have used them to incapacitate him. But this would require a level of planning and execution that seemed out of

Not sure I had Columbo in mind, but definitely the eccentricity. A small energetic Jewish guy who can be a little odd and yet still manages to fit in everywhere because he's sympathetic to everyone. The balance is hard, I'm working on it and hope to improve as I go along. I like all your suggestions for expanding the story and I've taken note. I love taking stories which perhaps aren't exactly new and peppering them with LGBT characters, because the world is diverse!

A voyage through the consequences of a devastating event whose impact is evoked by the author with a sublime passion eloquently described.

The narrative was indeed beautifully crafted with wonderful descriptions and a light touch that belies the deep emotional sadness that both partners in the marriage are unable to overcome. I could have read more, the perspective of Eudora, but I realise time is a constraint and it is really only a wish to delve deeper, because one comes away with a desire to put things right, even if that is not possible.

@BendtedWreath and @Thirdly thank you so much for your comments. It was purposely short, because I was also writing another story. I'm just starting out and your observations are very pertinent. I will use everything you've said to add more and expand the characters and descriptions to try to open up the next story I write. I'm learning, honestly I wasn't sure anybody would like these types of stories.

The Pink Flamingo was a relic of a bygone era, a tiny club tucked away in a side street, where the echoes of disco still reverberated. It was a sanctuary for the marginalized, a stage for the flamboyant. And it was here that Eliott Carter and Danny Fink found themselves, investigating a fire that could have cost lives. If Eliott had been in the police force a long time, he had only had a few partners of whom Danny was the most notable. They were like chalk and cheese, Danny the little Jewis

Note: Detective Eliott Carter appears in my short story The Vanishing Act posted on GA. In this short story we are introduced to his sidekick, Danny Fink (Prompt 113 - Challenge). Together they investigate a fire at the Pink Flamingo club.

... leaving Roland's room. I don't know how that gremlin crept into the murder mystery, but those pesky critters get everywhere if you don't keep an eye on them! Corrected, thanks.

Niomi Asouta had watched the scene unfold with a mix of envy and frustration. Roland, the man who once held her attention, was completely infatuated with Alex Mason. His eyes lit up whenever Alex was around, his focus unwavering. It was as if Alex had cast a spell over him, a spell that Niomi couldn't break. She had tried to gain his attention, to remind him of her importance, but he was oblivious. Instead, he had turned his attention to Giovanni Salvatore, the powerful figure from Ardmani.

Herrera sat at his desk, the coroner's report spread out before him. The words on the page described in very clear medical terms the cause of death, but failed in any way to elucidate the grim reality they conveyed. A heart attack, the report stated, nothing else. A simple, straightforward explanation, but one that Herrera found impossible to believe. Roland Fairbanks, a man in the prime of his life, seemingly healthy and full of vigor, had simply dropped dead? It didn't add up. "Could it h

@VBlew and @drsawzall your detective work is paying off, but we still need to find who done it, if Commissaire Herrera is right and Roland was murdered...

Jack Langdon, the newest sensation in the modelling world, found himself in the spotlight, but not for the reasons he'd hoped. The prestigious modelling agency had high hopes for him, positioning him as a potential face of the legendary fashion house, Ardmani. However, the recent, tragic death of Roland Fairbanks, a key figure in the agency, had cast a shadow over the glamorous world of fashion. Commissaire Herrera, the seasoned detective with a keen eye for detail and a second sense when i

That does seem a possibility, but even if she wanted Roland out of the company, or relegated in his role so she and her husband regained complete control of the agency, would she go that far? And, would Carlos commit murder for her? At lot of questions...

The first light of dawn was beginning to paint the sky in hues of pink and orange as Nora stood frozen, her gaze fixed on the lifeless figure of Roland Fairbanks. His body lay sprawled across the sand, a stark contrast against the pristine beach. Alison, her face pale and drawn, confirmed the worst: he was dead. A wave of shock and disbelief washed over Nora. She had never imagined such a tragedy could strike in this idyllic setting. Her mind raced, trying to piece together the events of th

The night of the party. The welcome party had kicked off, a vibrant tableau of people from all walks of life. Technicians, local dignitaries, and the surprise guest, Giovanni Salvatore, mingling amidst the exotic backdrop. The air was electric, the anticipation palpable. Ardmani, it seemed, was pulling out all the stops for this campaign, or perhaps, they were simply covering their investment. Arnold Henderson, the agency's founder, greeted Giovanni with a warm handshake and a f

Oh, and by the way, there's no bright light that everybody claims to have seen when they 'come back from the dead.' Well, actually there is... from my experience! No, that's schizophrenic! End, no. Beginning of another, strong probability. Reincarnation, another possibility, but not how you might imagine it, this is not the immortal! Resurrection to a new form, if you are a saint! Lights out, if that means nothing, no. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another. Albert Einstein