wintreargo77

I would have requested Silent Lucidity as its slow pacing is ripe for variations on its runs. Looking forward as the story starts opening up.

Everyone has beaten me to much of what I was thinking while reading this chapter so I’ll leave those be and add this: ”Martin noticed that Justin wasn't home and disabled the insurance premium reducing alarm.” That didn’t need to be there but it’s part of @Paladin’s writing style and gives flavor to his stories. I have felt strongly about objects that are unnecessarily necessary, oh maybe once or even twice, and smiled seeing it here.

Went to story 1 to read it first so I would understand the characters and plots when you returned from hiatus to finish this story. Loved the characters you created and their loving and mutual support during their early years and how that grew as they matured and added more folks to their extended family. Truly beautiful stories even during their hardships and unthinkable horrors. Thank you @FrankD for deciding to return to writing and completing these stories as they have been a pure pleasure to read.

A beautiful story, @Tony S.. I loved how you used the song’s lyrics as a thread running through your story, even up to its last lines. Will be looking forward to whatever you publish next and whenever you decide to share it.

Hey @Tony S., I want to thank you for your story. I am relishing the internal dialogs of your characters and also the general plot lines. I know you are British yet you’ve captured small town America, their high schools, the general dialog, and even American football accurately as if you were native born and lived it. The background work you’ve done is noticed and appreciated. I’m also greatly fond of your characters and glad you decided to round out Stephen from his initial stiff and callous self in the early chapters. Kitt and Matt and also Tom and Mateo have been wonderful characters and I’ll be sad when this story ends although parts of them I will take with me in the future.

@mastershakeme When you returned to writing this story after your hiatus I kept feeling like every chapter you wrote was for me, an audience of one. I have loved each of them as you twisted and turned the plot and the characters into something new and often unpredictable. You have written with style and wit and often with flair, expanding the cast and always giving even minor characters their own identities and purpose within your story. The decision to write the final chapters as the days leading up to and including the Battle of the Bands chapter was a brilliant one and I believe they were your strongest and best writing, truly masterful. I wasn’t sure where your story was going after you introduced us to Jesse and Shaun. It felt like Jesse was going to be the main character out of the two leads because of the sharp focus on his character and his odd home life of being the responsible parent for his five younger siblings. My view changed after Shaun’s ridiculously stupid yet predictable car accident where he hurt Jesse and himself. It was clear this was going to be Shaun’s story. You took a very young child starting out in the worst way possible of being forced to witness his sperm donor’s murder of his mom and then suiciding himself and that poor child was scarred for many many years because of it. What could normal look like for him or even see him having a halfway decent future. That poor boy and young man. We slowly started seeing Shaun changing and often from his own strong will. Jesse’s steady love and support helped Shaun immensely, especially when he accepted that Jesse loved him unconditionally and would always love and support him. That grounding and relationship allowed Shaun to become more and more his true self and we can see that continuing into this final chapter. Shaun is now a mensch in the best sense ever and I never expected to end up here after reading chapter 1. I started tearing up and crying during the scene in this final chapter when Ruth looked at Shaun and acknowledged how her grandson had profoundly changed himself, had beaten the long odds considering his awful origin story and become someone who she was proud of, that his presence had touched and lifted so many people in a beautiful way yet without ever losing himself. Besides Jesse, Eli and her are the only ones who know how far Shaun’s life has come from his tragic beginnings and that he really won everything that is important in life and what truly matters. Over and over you created wonderful characters and I need to mention a few of my favorites. Brian of course for his willing acceptance and love for Shaun and that Shaun seemed amazed and a little shocked about it and their scenes together were always good. Shaun treating Brian as a young adult rather than a child which was the right note and it gave unexpected depth to Shaun I hadn’t expected but came to enjoy those moments over time. And then there was the shock of learning he’s Jesse’s son which as I recall was revealed by Sam, another of my favorite’s, just being a brat and a younger brother. Sam seemed out of place in the household, too young to be treated as a child yet far too young for doing adult type things yet he was doing them anyway - smoking, drinking, getting high, taking drugs, shagging multiple women. I worried a lot about Sam and especially when he enmeshed himself into Kyle’s twisted hands. He was raw and scarred after the wild weekend when Kyle and his brother got him so high he passed out and then they raped him which led to him overdosing at school. It was brave and poignant when Jesse and Shawn made the quick decision together that Sam was coming with them when they moved out on their own. Lastly I loved Dallas so much. His quirky fun personality, his easy acceptance when Shaun came out to him, his understanding of Shaun’s money worries so he paid for some things and made it so Shaun needn’t be embarrassed that he often couldn’t repay him for simple things like snacks and smokes. I loved his creative video of Shaun as a Rock Star Action Hero and wish I could have seen it too. Shaun was an important friend and he was going to try to help him which weirdly enough that video sort of did. Thank for a truly great story.

Kitt is stuck. He can’t go home until his relationship with his father changes. And he won’t reach out to Matt while his relationship with his father is unresolved in the fear the backlash will harm Matt and his family. This is the tension in Kitt’s life and @Tony S. is deliberately pacing the story to create tension in the reader. The readers frustrated by the slow unrolling of the story should feel empathy for Kitt and his current life. He is in limbo and his life is on hold. I see the story being resolved in one of two ways. The first would be a change of heart with Stephen and he decides to accept Kitt and welcome him back into the family. We are starting to see a shift but do not know if it will be enough. The second is when Matt graduates from high school and Kitt can reunite with him away from their families. Perceptive Tom may be thinking something similar when he brings up the GED test as a lifeline for Kitt so he will be ready to fall in step with Matt and they can go to university together. I’m sure professor Tom has some pull so Kitt can be admitted and can help with scholarships and financial aid.

It’s Telenovela Time! This whacky sex filled adventure could not have been better and with wonderful pacing. Nicely played @chris191070. This ended with more than what my snarky assed self had imagined so I told him to shut up and sit in the corner.

I read that differently, that Kitt wasn’t going to allow is father’s anger and whatever retribution he musters be directed at Matt and his family and instead keep it focused on him and to draw it away. I understand Kitt’s decision while also agreeing the Everests would be a safe haven for him. Once we realized the extent of Kitt’s father’s religiosity this scene seemed fated to occur. The teenage years are ones where the teens are seeking an identity outside of the family and parents sometimes wrongly assume it means a rejection of them and their values. If they’ve built the proper structures so the teen feels loved and safe and encourage their child to try on different selfs until the right one fits then they will remain theirs even as they become more independent. Kitt’s father’s tight control is strangling him. Kitt has few options and I wonder where he goes now. Riverbend might be a good landing spot. Matt’s uncanny awareness of Kitt’s emotions and thoughts has a role to play.

“It’s my chauffeur, Roland.” Shocked. Call me shocked. 🫤 Anyway…

Evidently. The signs were there. But who has the time? I would have strangled and rebelled against the tight control.

I don’t know how you are doing it @Lee Wilson but you’re making reading about a race as exciting as witnessing it. 🏊‍♂️

Poor Kitt. His natural introversion is being cultivated by his highly structured home life and, I’ll say odd for now, parents. Matt is the best thing to have come into his life and at the right moment, his high school years. Each has a four letter name and both end with a double ‘t’. That’s a deliberate choice @Tony S. has made, for fun or something else.

The world needs more grandpa Hugos.

I want it to be true but I have a sick feeling Hunter will reappear later in the story.