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Tiger

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  2. Tiger
    #1: People who do the hot and cold thing. Okay, first of all, it seems pretty stupid. I am one who often let's people know what's on my mind. I prefer to know what's going on. My imagination can run wild. It makes it hard for me to sleep and just leads to confusion, frustration, and tension. Tell me how it is. Don't try to save face and avoid the issues. I am no some naive teenager. I'm an adult who just likes to know what's up. I hate mind games.
     
    #2: Just because I don't get along with a particular person for whatever reason does not mean that you should go and say cruel things about that person. Chances are that I do actually like that person deep down but just can only deal with that person on a limited basis. Making fun of that person for things that he or she cannot help will still piss me.
     
    #3: I really need a job. I am bored out of my effing mind, and I really need money like yesterday. I have been looking for work since I got here, and I really feel like I deserve a break.
  3. Tiger
    As it turns out, there are many similarities between Horus and Jesus. For examply, both were born to Virgins. Mary, or Miriam, was the mother of Jesus. She was a virgin according to scriptures, and this may have something to do with Virgo, the water bearer. Similarly, Horus was the son of Isis, an Egyptian godess who also was said to be a virgin. Both were said to be divinely the sons of gods. Horus was the son of Osiris, and Jesus was the son of Yehova in the form of The Holy Spirit. Both were born in a stable or cave, and their births were announced by angels three times, once to the mother, once to the step father, and once to shepherds. Both were born right around the winter solstice, and they were both visited by three wise men or deities. This similarities go on and on. Both were baptised by men who ended up being beheaded. They both died by crucifixion and were raised from the dead three days later. For more information, check out this link. Once again, I am going to post the Youtube video for those who have not seen it.
     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aW2N46vf4Q&NR=1
  4. Tiger

    It's about time

    By Tiger,

    I don't know if this ad has showed up in other areas, but I saw it yesterday, and I thought it was about damn time something like this was said on TV. I pretty well want to slap people across the face when they say something is gay. It's utterly infuriating. Anyway, ever since Wanda Sykes came out she's been doing a lot for the gay community and I applaud her actions.
     


  5. Tiger

    Bad night

    By Tiger,

    There comes a point where we look at our lives and think of how different things should be. For example, I should be able to find that special someone and stop being interested in the wrong ones. Deep down they're wrong in every single way, but I seem to be a masochist in that regard. My gut reaction is to push them away, but it never seems to work.
     
    Meanwhile, I'm sick. That makes it even worse. I don't know what it is about alcohol, but my body overreacts to it. I rarely puke, but there are other ways to be sick. So here I am feeling sick and thinking about how alone I am, and it really sucks.
  6. Tiger

    Waxahachie, Texas

    By Tiger,

    Well, a few months ago I moved to Kansas. Well, I'm moving again. This time I'm moving to Texas, Waxahachie to be exact. It's a city of about 20,000, and it's south of Dallas. I was thinking of staying here, but then it hit me the other day. I really don't want to be here, so I've decided that's where I want to go. I will miss what family I have here, but that's about all. The whole depression thing was caused by just not wanting to be here, so that seems like the perfect solution. Anyway, I'm not sure when I will be moving, just that I will be.
  7. Tiger

    Back to SK

    By Tiger,

    Well, I just started playing the new round of Star Kingdoms. last night. This is awesome. So far, I know of 4 other GA members who are playing. 2 of them, Demetz and W.L., are in my sector, which is really cool. I also know that Lissa and Mattie are playing as well. This is going to be f**king awesome! I think I'm getting a much better start this time, and I think I can do quite well. It's a fun game, and if you're interested, start quickly, because the round is already in full swing. Being any more than a day behind won't do you much good. I also suggest a strategy guide.
  8. Tiger

    Late night Bolero time

    By Tiger,

    I sometimes have a hard time going to sleep. Thus, I am listening to Bolero, one of my favorite musical pieces. It has a variety of beautiful instruments playing the chorus, and it blends so well It even gives me goosebumps. There is nothing wrong with a love of classical music. It reminds us of the days of yore when life was simpler. By simpler, I mean that the world was not modernized. If you wanted to hear a song like this, you had to go to where it was being performed live. While that is still a favorite past-time, it is by far not the only way. I often think about what life was like in those times. Sure people worked, but minds were rarely, if ever, idle. Working the fields or at early factories was difficult labor. They both had their dangers, but people were more proud of what they did. Now a lot of those jobs have been replaced by machines.
     
    I remember talking to elderly people in Southeast Missouri several years ago. Cotton is an important crop for the region, and Southeast Missouri is the only part in which it can be grown. The area was once a swamp. It has since been drained, leave one of the most fertile areas in the US. It's amazing. People grow crops all the way to their houses. Around here, there are a lot more cattle. Just imagine what is was like even 150 years ago when cotton was picked by hand. Phonographs had not even been invented yet, so there was not a way to listen to songs. Church was the main place where people could listen to music at all, aside from occasions when a band would play, but most of the people in that particular region would not have been close enough had never been to an opera or a symphony. While such things were probably available in St. Louis and Memphis, it is unlikely that any of them traveled often. What takes two hours now, took many hours, and most would probably not heave heard of Ravel. In fact, he would not even have been born until 17 years. Still, little changed, and the phonograph was very new at the time of his birth. Essentially, they would have been a luxury for the rich.
     
    It makes you stop and think. We have reached a stage where our understanding of science is improving daily. Computers are slowly taking over, and we are the root cause. Yet, it seems that we are just as stressed as our ancestors if not more so. This has shown that we are anxious creatures by nature. Even with all the modernization, we're still explorers as we have always been. It took many millenia to travel from the Old World to the new world. Many faced disease and starvation to make such journeys, yet we bitch about things when we have it so much easier. The only reason why the world was simpler was because people worked to survive. Fields had to be plowed with simple devices, and seeds were planted by hand. Now machines, under our guidance, perform these tasks for us. Yet we take it all for granted and forgot about our roots. As our intelligence grows, we become closer to two separate paths. One leads to further progression while the other leads to death. Science can save us, but it can also destroy us. These are our main worries unlike people who lived 150 years ago. I'm sure they sometimes complained, but they were more likely to have a good reason.
  9. Tiger

    The little red monster

    By Tiger,

    What is the little red monster? That's a good question. While I seem to be at a point where I am not depressed as much, there seems to be something else emerging. Occasionally, the little red monster comes out to play. Anything can set it off like a hungry lion being unleashed. I guess one could say that I need to get it under control, because I'm just irritable, and that is not a good thing at all. What causes it? Well, sometimes people, like me, spend years being self-sacrificing. It takes an emotional toll. One might ask what I am doing about it. Well, I am trying meditation. They often talk about reaching a state where one is not thinking as much. So far it seems to be helping. One thing is that I think I may need to return to counseling at some point when I am truly ready to get through this. I think it also boils down to the fact that I need to work on some of my life goals and really work on a plan to escape. It's about time for me to take care of me. What I want is to basically start over with my life. I figure that the Midwest has nothing to really offer me, so I want to save up money and get the hell out of here.
     
    Added: I wrote a poem of the same name. It's here for anyone who would like to read it.
  10. Tiger

    Life and testing

    By Tiger,

    Well, there's not too much going on my life right now. I have decided that I have to seriously find a way out of my current life. I want something better for myself, and I don't really think I have a future here. School is fine, and I am about finished with a couple of classes. In fact, next week is the last week.
     
    Recently, I decided that I need to go ahead and get tested. I just called the local health department. I can get tested for $20. I scheduled an appointment for Monday. I am a little nervous, but it needs to be done. The biggest part of my fear is the needle. I hate those things. I would be shocked to find out that I'm positive, but if that's the case, I will definitely need treatment. Hopefully, I'm negative. I'm quite sure that I am but not 100% certain, and that's why I'm getting tested.
  12. Tiger
    Well, in my last entry, I mentioned my new addiction to Star Kingdoms, but I decided I was done for the round. Hopefully, I can do better next round.
     
    Thus, it is time to write again. Yes, I have neglected it for a while for whatever reason. Well, I cannot say too much about my winter anthology except that it is actually a bit of a spin-off of a story I have written in the past. It's going to delve into history a bit, but it's definitely befitting of the theme. Speaking of past stories, I also need to get back to work on Dark Earth 2. I've been brainstorming a bit. I already knew where it goes, but I may actually make my first two chapters deeper into the book, because I have some stuff that goes before that I really want to add. I'm aiming for a release of next spring, but I do not know for sure. I don't write stories as quickly as some.
  13. Tiger
    Well, I haven't been posting blogs much lately. I have a new addiction. It's called Star Kingdoms. Basically, you get to build a military and, along with your allies, destroy targets. We're in the midst of war. I love it! Ash (Demetz) is to blame, because he told me about SK, so now you all know why I'm not on GA as much.
  14. Tiger

    The Tears of Solitude

    By Tiger,

    Since there is only one poem this time, I figured I would post the link here. This one is called "The Tears of Solitude". Feel free to leave reviews, and as always, feel free to drop by the Impressions and Reflections topic. Feel free to critisize if you must! I like feedback, and that includes constructive criticism.
  15. Tiger
    Sometimes my mind gives me a desirable scenario. My heart wants it even more. My brain says, "Maybe it's not such a good thing after all." My heart says, "Don't give up." What if everything turns out well, and I end up with what I want? My dreams and aspirations could reach fruition, but it's unlikely. I just wish it would stop so that I can get back to not wondering anymore and just stop the "What ifs" of my heart. I suppose it has to do with what I want more than anything as revealed in two recent poems, "Where is He?" and "Broken Roads", the latter being about how they lead to nowhere. Somehow I know if certain circumstances were different, I could have what I want, so that just makes it that much more painful. I just wonder if the entire cosmic balance of the universe is against me, because I have so much to offer, so much love and passion to give, but alas it must not be meant to be, so I suffer forever more. I'm going to steal my own line. "Where is he, the one who will never leave my side and will cherish me forever?" Maybe he doesn't exist.
  16. Tiger
    This is a show called Cutey Honey The Live. It's got a lot of martial arts action. For those who are into it, there is a young Asian woman who wears a really tight outfit.
     
    This is the first episode in 3 parts. Did I mention the gratuitous violence and the fact that it's live-action anime?
     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvMwXlONhJU
     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnXRjhqePXA
     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB94cQ4PjT4
  17. Tiger
    I'm always looking for a name for my blog, believe it or not. I haven't found the perfect one, but this one will do for now. If anyone has any interesting ideas, I would love to hear them. I guess I'm just picky about for some reason, as though it's difficult for me to figure out what I really want. Hmmmm... that seems to be a repeating theme for me. It always gets me into trouble. I guess it could be worse.
  18. Tiger

    The Dark Knight

    By Tiger,

    I finally saw The Dark Knight. It was an awesome movie! The theater is about 20 miles away, but it was well worth the trip. As strange as it sounds I went by myself. That's something I'd never done before, but I'm glad I went anyway. That was the best movie I'd seen in several years. It was certainly the best Batman movie ever. Everyone was right about Heath Ledger. He definitely deserves an Academy Award for his final performance. It was definitely an edge-of-your seat thriller, and I highly recommend it to anyone who has not seen it.
  19. Tiger
    I'm not a firebug or anything, but yesterday I saw a house that was on fire. Apparently, it was set ablaze on purpose. The mayor of the town actually wanted the house to be gone. It was amazing. There's something about the power of fire that stirs the imagination for some reason. I could watch fires like that all the time, though it would never turn me on sexually or get to a point where I would become an arsonist. You could see the fire from anywhere in town, and I got several views of it from different angles. It was mesmerizing.
     
    Then, it was time to go home. I came home to an unpleasant surprise. The electricity was off. This was around 6:30 PM. I find this type of situation quite frustrating for some reason. It was hot. It had just rained, and the humidity was very high. My body was covered in sweat, but I tried to sleep anyway. I slept for a little over an hour. Soon after I woke up the electricity was back on, and I could finally sleep comfortably.
  20. Tiger

    Perspective

    By Tiger,

    I have always thought that learning from our own mistakes of the past can help us move forward. For me, there's always been a tendency to be too dependent of other people. I have never truly allowed myself to stand alone. This has led to a lot of problems for me, and I realize I must stop doing this if I ever want a good life for myself, one where I live free of guilt. At the same time, I've also tried to be an appeaser. I have put others' needs above my own. I can't do that anymore either. Basically, it's time for me to grow up. I can't really say what all has held me back, but I will figure it all out soon.
  21. Tiger
    My mind plays tricks on me. There's no way around it. I wish it would stop, but it doesn't seem to be. I find myself questioning people's intentions and misunderstanding some things people say. It's like I've been in my own little world where reality is bent. I have to get to a point where this is no longer the case. I need a sense of clarity and a sense of direction and purpose. I think I'm figuring out that depression creates an alternative reality where you don't always see the good in people. It's a horrible feeling, and there doesn't seem to be any solution to the problem. Then there's the fact that I can't seem to let go of the past. It eats at me... what might have been seems to be a question I ask myself constantly. I also think about people who I feel have done bad things to me, and it makes me sad. This hasn't been the easiest time of my life. I have to re-evaluate everything and decide what's really important rather than focusing on what is not. My mind doesn't seem to allow me this luxury.
  22. Tiger
    I have just posted the final chapter of Dark Earth: The Prophecy. You can find it here. I also realize how some readers only like to read complete novels, and here it is from the beginning. For those who have not read it, I have a brief discussion of major characters and my motivations as an author.
     
    Imagine a world where the sun never shines and there is a constant threat of death. Dark Earth: The Prophecy is my first completed novel, and I loved exploring this world and bringing it to life. Julian, the main character in the story, has extraordinary power, and he is only eighteen. His whole life has been shrouded in mystery to him, and he has no idea just how powerful he really is. Additionally, he has grown up without his mother, and his aunt and uncle have hidden a lot from him. As he discovers the truth about his past and his power, he struggles to accept who he really is.
     
    Cristobel has similar circumstances as his brother and his brother
  23. Tiger
    I just finished the final chapter of Dark Earth: The Prophecy. I am quite happy about that. I have been working on it since October, and it has taken longer than I wanted it to. However, I think the extra time has allowed me to grow as an author, and that is certainly a good thing. Now I am back to Second Chances. It has been a while since I posted a chapter. My plan is to get several chapters ahead and start posting it again. The important thing is that I know where the story is going. As some might have noticed I said that I intend to only post chapters of future stories when they are finished or at least close to finished. I am still intending to have it that way for my next story. My plan, for right now, is to work on one story in between Second Chances and the second part of Dark Earth. My thought right now is that it will most likely be a murder/mystery vignette. However, I am apt to change my mind and either work on the second part of Dark Earth or a fantasy story I have already started writing. Regardless of what I decide, I do intend to write every day, even if it is just a paragraph or two. This is because I want to write more. I am slowly gaining more confidence and not feeling overwhelmed by the fear of not having a good ending. Endings are somewhat problematic for some, and I have a strange apprehension about it because of wanting it to be perfect. Regardless, that is slowly fading.
  24. Tiger
    I just deleted the entry about a hiatus. It looks like that will not be the case. I am currently out of the Land of Oz, because now the electricity at home is off completely. KCPL did come out and fix what they needed to fix. However, we cannot get into contact with the electrician at present. This means that I will be staying in Missouri for a day or two. In fact, I am there right now. Thus, I am away from my homeland. I really want this nightmare to be over. I want to be able to go home and have everything just the way it should be. These problems have been preventing me from being about to finish my chapter and to be able to start some other projects. My patience is growing thin, and I am really not happy about it. I guess that's just how life is sometimes.
  25. Tiger

    My sentiments

    By Tiger,

    I deleted the entry from last night, because I thought I was actually too harsh. Here's the bottom line. What I said about them is strictly my opinion. As for the accusation that I know nothing about it, I talk to some people who have been at GA for a long time, and I have no reason to doubt what they have to say. Based on the information I have, I formed an opinion. As far as I know, it's the most well-informed one. I also trust people more when they have a certain level of loyalty here. Obviously, they were never truly loyal to GA, and their actions prove it. Even if I decided to have a site of my own I would still want to be a part of GA, because everyone has been wonderful here. There really is a sense of family here. As for the other side of the story, feel free to email me. The address should be on my profile, but don't expect me to change my mind.
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