TheZot

Mmm, awkward silences are always fun. It'll be interesting to see how things pan out, since odds are I'll be significantly older than most of the other people in the class. Who knows, depending on when I may end up trotting out some of the straight romance novel I'm supposed to be writing for work. (Which is a long story in itself) Probably not, though, that'd be less fun.

Or "On the nature of writing". Or something like that. I figured it was time to stop just bitching about the things in my writing I'm not happy about and actually start doing something about it. It's too late in the semester to sign up for a writing class at the local community college, but it's never too late to read about writing, so I've started. A while back I picked up a copy of "Characters and Viewpoint" by Orson Scott Card (on the recommendation of The Pecman, who wrote the stories "Groovy kind of love" and "Jagged angel" -- I don't have links handy but they're both on nifty) and poked through it some. Last night I picked up a copy of "Description & Setting" by Ron Rozelle. (Along with a copy of Applied Cryptography -- must've looked a little odd to the cashier, and I can't wait to have to explain it to the IRS since they're both legitimate business expenses) It was in the same series as the OSC book, so I figured it was a good bet. So far... yep, looks like it. Plus there's a certain amusing symmetry to writing about reading about writing. (Which leaves people reading about me writing about reading about writing, and we all go 'round oroboros-like. Or get confused. Possibly both) Regardless, it's been worthwhile, even the bits and pieces I've dug into. I can't say whether these books in particular would be good for anyone who wants to get better as a writer, they've certainly been good for me, and I can recommend books in general for folks that're serious about getting better. Who knows, at this rate I'll probably end up joining some writer's group or other by the end of the summer. That could certainly make group read-throughs.... interesting.

Nah, Justin's really not the college type. Despite having clever parents he's at best of average intellegence, and really not a good student by temperament. (I tried to get that across in the story but I fear I didn't as well as I wanted to - Justin was struggling a bit in school and had to work really hard for the B-minuses he scraped by with) He's a physical kind of guy and they just don't teach the sorts of things he'd take to in college. Well, unless you went in for a degree in kinesthiology, and since he's not really a football type I'm not seeing that. Besides, despite the tendency to turn college into just grades 13-16 these days (which is a rant for another day) the things Justin's interested in don't need college degrees for. He'd be happy being, say, a plumber or working construction or something like that, and there's a pretty good chance that Rob really wouldn't care. It's actually kind of funny to think of Justin as a house-husband trying to ride herd over a few kids, but I think I'll pass on that for now. I think. Probably, at least. Anyway, now I'm definitely intrigued, and since these things'll be short (4-7K words) little things, I think I'm gonna have to, just because.

So I finished the draft for the story that I've been currently blocking on (if you were in chat the other night you got to see me ambush Dio and Myr -- sorry guys. And no, the Jell-o pictures will never see the light of day ever! ) and sent it away to be poked at by folks who're good at poking things. I've already gone and fiddled with my index page to give it a spot, along with teasing about a few other stories in the same series that are in a sufficient state to figure they will be done, even if they're not done now. That's kinda got me thinking about Yankee and Rob and Justin. I've got the sequel pretty much plotted out, though I need to do some research before I can really write most of it (I need to kill someone off slowly) and I do need to let it gel a little more before I can start banging out draft text. Still... there's the story that comes after, since Carpe DIem is going to be Rob's story, not Justin or Rob and Justin's. And it's the after story that I'm finding interesting. Not after as in "what happens senior year in highschool", since there's going to be gale-force handwaving on that -- there's no way I'm going to even try touching on writing what it's like to be an out gay couple in a rural Georgia high school. Uh uh, no way, not a chance. Rather, "what happens when they go off to college and beyond" sorts of things. I mean, assuming they make it (which is itself a big assumption, between Justin's AS and Rob's issues and tendencies towards being closed-off and introspective -- having one partner who can't read people and another who tends not to talk about what's wrong isn't a recipe for an easy relationship) what happens? What does Rob do? What does Justin do? How's college go? Do they go to college? Rob should, sure, he's smart and talented in ways that higher education is good for, and we've established that he wants to go to art school, but... what about Justin? He's an adequate student at best and the things he's good at don't really warrant college. He'd be better off training and opening a dojo or working with someone who already has one, or maybe doing stage choreography, or working as a bouncer. (Can you see Justin as a waiter in a gay bar? He'd be safe, certainly, and it's not like Rob would have to worry about him straying, since it'd never actually occur to him) And, of course, there's always the important question "What about the broccoli?" Which is, itself, a story I'll never tell. With that, there's also plot. If there's a full-fledged story, rather than a series of scenes from a life (which works too) what the heck should it be? What could happen that'd be reasonable and allow an actual story to weave around it? Hell, it's half-tempting to go all wacky and have Strange Things happen to them. Maybe in the jungles of Peru where Rob's on an archeological dig or something, with Justin along for grunt help. Could catapult them into some odd fantasy realm if I was feeling nasty. Probably not, though Justin would think Rob was hot in an Indiana Jones getup. Decisons, decisions. I think I'm gonna have to start puttering with little vignettes and throwing 'em up to read, just for fun.

Well, y'know, we always bitch and moan about the stuff we can't do rather than be happy with the stuff we can. Or maybe that's just me, I dunno. One thing I have noticed is that the projects I take on always seem to be just one step past where I'm comfortable. Not a bad thing, I suppose -- I'm not going to get better at what I do if I don't stretch when I'm doing it. That doesn't necessarily make it comfortable, of course, but that's a different thing entirely.

And I just can't get the !@#$ thing expressed right on paper. Or screen. Whatever. You know, actually written in writing. I hate that. This may be the biggest problem I have as a writer, actually getting into words the things I see in my head. I can't draw them, so all I can do is describe them, and, well, words just fail me. Or I fail them. Something like that. Feelings I can do, I can manage mildly poetic cadence that'll carry you along, and I'm pretty sure I can amuse, but damn me if I can't describe. This is something that, right now, is seriously pissing me off. I seem to be waffling between text that's far too sparse to give a good picture of what's going on and text that's detailed enough to get in the way of the action of the story. I can't strike the balance, not the way I want to. Dammit, this whole "writing" thing is a massive pain in the ass. I don't seem to be getting the hang of fast-paced action stories. That's probably a sign I need to take a writing course or three at the local community college, or read some books on writing, or both. Neither of which I can do in time to make me happy with the text I'm frowning at on screen right now. Bleah. It's so much easier to read this stuff than write it.

I dunno here. On the one hand, yeah, abuse is a Bad Thing, and if Chaz was doing that I think she's OK to make a stink about it even if you don't like it. (Given the way most abusive situations seem to go, they seem pretty obligatory for the abusee to even come anywhere near acknowledging what's going on) On the other, from the descriptions you and Chaz have given, Chaz wasn't hitting you -- he was in a fistfight with his brother and you got in the way. That's a very different thing indeed, and if that's accurate Selene's definitely over-reacting.

Sunshine and puppies do get in the way of deep disscussion, this is true. And as someone pointed out, everything is in one way or another connected. That doesn't mean that any place you happen to be is the appropriate place to discuss everything. Most, arguably all, venues have appropriate and inappropriate subjects. There's nothing wrong with that; having and knowing the boundaries both gives structure and a sense of safety to the people involved. Work, class, on the subway, in the carpool van, on the subway -- every place you're at has an implied set of OK and not OK subjects for discussion, which generally tie into the actual purpose of the place you're at, and that's fine. The point of your Calc II class is calculus. Discussions of women's rights in third world countries are inappropriate there, and get in the way of the explicit purpose of the class. GA is here to discuss fiction and to a lesser extent provide a safe space for people to deal with the personal issues that arise because of their same-sex attractions. We could talk about corn futures, Phillipine politics, desktop fusion research, and the myriad of religious and political issues that surround being gay, but the problem is that those subjects are either way off-topic or they generate enough smoke and heat to get in the way of the purpose of GA. Worse, the bitterness that erupts (and it will. Hell, it already has) drives away the people who actually want to discuss the fiction and worse still it drives away the people who could actually get some help from being here. That's not to say that the discussions themselves are wrong, because they're not. Just that here is the wrong place to have them. If you want to have those discussions the right way to have 'em here is in the context of a piece of fiction. Write some (or find some) that explores the issues you want to bring up then, in the context of that piece, discuss them. It won't be a general discussion, rather one that relates to the opinion expressed in a story, but that's OK, as it tends to give everyone enough distance from the touchy subjects to be able to work things out relatively calmly. -Dan

Heh. Poor Justin, nobody can remember his name. The sequel's entirely Rob's story. Justin comes into it since he really can't not, but he doesn't actually appear in all that much of the story. Which is fine, it seems to work OK anyway.

I'm on the member's page, along with Dio and KenderCleric. Yankee's in the efiction site mostly for completeness -- I'd thrown a couple of chapters in there to help test the software when Myr was getting it settled in, and put the rest of the chapters in because I didn't want to leave it half-finished in there. (Plus someone had asked if I had the whole thing as a single file, and that was the easiest way to get it)

Woohoo! Yeah, stupid though it may sound, one of the things that's been holding me up on the sequel to Yankee (besides work, other writing commitments, the straight romance novel, family time, and a serious attempt to make things good with my wife) is the title. I've been calling it "Yankee II" but, let's be honest, as a title that stinks. (Granted, there are worse, but who wants worse than that?) The title helps me, since it mostly sums up the story, at least until it's got enough traction for the text to stand on its own. Well, I finally figured it out, after batting around more of the outline for the thing this afternoon. (And yep, that means it's mostly plotted, though going from a working plot outline to actual text isn't entirely trivial for non-fluff pieces) I was thinking I could call it "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die," but that's too long. Nice, but too long. Instead, Yankee's sequel is gonna be called... Carpe Diem (Yes, I did count characters to force the title off the summary page. Why do you ask? )

Aw, c'mon, that may well not be the case. You're young still, and while kids the 'traditional' way (with wife in tow) better not happen, if you want kids they're a real option for you. Don't go ruling it out just because you're gay. (I'll spare you the rant, but seriously -- if you want kids, you can and should have kids)

Heh. There's still time -- I need to go back and redo the last two chapters of Yankee...

I've had the odd experience of being able to edit drafts of a story I'm reading and really, really like. On the one hand, it's kind of cool -- I get to read chapters before everyone else. (nyah, nyah! ) Which isn't actually a cool thing all by itself, but I get a fix sooner than I might otherwise, and that's good. The downside to this is I actually feel kinda like crap about it, and more than a little guilty. And that's because I've been ripping the chapters to shreds. Stuff that I would've let slide or not even noticed as a regular reader gets red-flagged, and background and setting text I would've read and just filed away's gotten analyzed, picked apart, and critiqued. At some length. Plus my tendencies towards flip smart-assness tend to come out in the commentary, so in addition to the sea of red (Word's chosen red as the default color for my changes, to add insult to injury) there's the snark. The worst bit is I can't really not do this. I know that when I have other people read my stuff I want them to rip it to shred it. Every weak sentence, awkward phrase, missing transition, inconsistent behaviour -- I want 'em pointed out so they can be fixed. And like it or not I'm doing that when I edit, because I can't not do it as best I can; it feels like cheating to let things I've noticed go by unremarked. On the other hand it feels really wrong to hand back a marked up copy of something I liked with the note "you can still see some margin space on page 14". It's just... weird. Uncomfortable was something I never expected with this. Not that I'm gonna stop, mind. As long as I'm asked to edit the things I will, it's just going to take a while to convince myself I'm not going to hurt an author's feelings by being (perhaps excessively) pickily honest. (And, just for the record, if anyone gets ahold of one of my drafts -- please, feel free to tear into the thing. You won't hurt my feelings, and I'd rather a few dozen things pointed out in draft than to notice them after they've hit print, virtual or not)

Heh. Sounds like a scene from Rodney Dangerfield's "Back to School" (Hey, I was working in a theater, so sue me). I'll admit, I couldn't take literary criticism too seriously after that, at least not the bits where we're supposed to delve into what The Author Thought. Speaking as an author, what we're often thinking is "Are there any donuts left?" -Dan

Heh. He's not hopelessly straight. He's just hopelessly a guy.

Getting new people into a community's a tricky thing. There'll always be a constant trickle of people just joining in because they fit in well with the current tenor of the group (or don't notice that they don't) which is usually sized proportional to the community, but that's often not enough to keep things going. (Depends on how many people come, and how many go) People, generally, are loathe to join a community all by themselves. What does help is to have new projects, things people can get in at the beginning of. For GA, that'd mean new authors and to some extent new stories for existing authors. (The community overlap on a story-to-story basis for an author's pretty significant, since most authors write pieces that strongly resemble previous things they've written) For example while Dom, Comicality, and dkstories all have some fan overlap, each of them has a relatively unique tone to their communities, and each has attracted people who wouldn't otherwise be here. Some of the folks who've come for a particular author end up spilling over into the general GA community. Myr laying on new authors (like CPL or Dio -- if not new per se, at least new to here) is the single biggest thing that helps the community grow rapidly, since each new author will, at least initially, bring in a good-sized lump of new people. They'll each help widen that stream of people who just join in, since each author's got his or her own tone, and that just gives more potential hooks to catch people's iinterest enough to participate. Another thing that can help, though it's less likely (especially here) is for people to bring other folks into the community with 'em. It's not as common, since odds are you're not chatting with your friends about the latest sex scene in one of Dom's stories. (And if you are, you're probably hanging around more in the Real World than here ) The official greeter folks, and everyone in general, can actively reach out to new people, but that requires folks to have posted at least once, which is a pretty big hurdle, one that most of the GA members don't ever get to. -Dan (Who's done this community building thing before)

For some reason I'm thinking he just tacked it onto the end of Discovering Gregory rather than releasing a new story, but I'm not 100% sure of that. It does seem like a completely separate, second story starts near the end of chapter 36. (One which, honestly, I like better than the first half of the story, but that's just me) -Dan

Not obligated, no, but I hear it's real fun to try...

And here's part 3, the last of what's written. Past the end of this (and yeah, it ends in the middle of a scene) there are some sketched out bits, including my first shot at a tender sex scene which really didn't work, but that's about it. It does kinda peter out and not wrap up properly. I've always had a problem with endings... And yeah, I'm still arguing with the rich text editor. Strangest Places <h1 style="margin-left: 0in; text-indent: 0in;">Scene: Back to school</h1> [Justin] This was the moment that I was dreading. I'd gotten a few days off from school, and Tristan had stayed with me the whole time, but that couldn't last forever. I was basically OK, at least enough to head back to class. And today was the day. At least it was a Thursday, so things couldn't be too bad for too long. What made it worse was that the whole school knew what had happened to me, or so Scotty said. That was the one downside to what Mr. C had done, though he probably saved my life. Now everyone knew I was gay. Tristan, though, was his usual cheerful self, and that did help a lot. Tristan stuck his head in the doorway for a moment. "'Kay, Justin, time to get going!" "Almost ready!" I had started getting dressed the way I always did for school, but I stopped myself. I'd changed, and I didn't need to hide behind the clothes. Or so I hoped, at least. I had on a grey pocket T-shirt, a pair of cargo pants, and white leather tennis shoes. And I was wearing the bracelet that Tris had picked out for me on my good wrist. The cast was still on, of course, but it was thin enough that it wasn't really getting in the way. I still felt almost naked without my boots, jeans, or leather jacket. "You look nice," said Tristan, with a kiss, when I walked into the kitchen. "Thanks," I said, kissing him back. They were just little kisses, but they made me feel better somehow, knowing that Tristan loved me. Tristan grabbed both our books and we drove off to school in silence. Once we got in we took our time, which was OK with me. My arm was still pretty sore, and I didn't really relish the thought of pushing through the hordes to get to class. "You look nervous," said Tristan, as we walked. "Yeah, some," I replied. "Scotty said that everyone knew what happened. It ain't gonna be pretty at times, I think." "Why?" asked Tris. He sounded puzzled. "Geez, Tris, you're dense sometimes. Everyone in school knows that my dad beat the shit out of me because I'm gay. Which means that everyone knows that I'm gay. I'm not one of the popular crowd anyway, and there's not going to be a damn thing stopping anyone from f**king around with me. The world's not all that gay-friendly if you hadn't noticed." "I think maybe you're overreacting. Besides, you've got me." "You can't be around every minute, though. Sooner or later someone's gonna take a shot just because they can. I mean, look at how you reacted when I kissed you in the park, and you love me. What do you think everyone else is going to do?" Tristan looked like I slapped him with that last remark, but it was true. He was the nicest guy in school and he still pulled back. "Just remember your center," said Tristan. "If you can keep that, everything'll work out." Tris was silent the rest of the way to class, looking like he was deep in thought. Which he probably was, though who knows over what.. "Well, here we are," I said as we approached the classroom. The door was open, and I could hear Mrs. Finney taking roll. We were a minute or so late, but I didn't really care. I took a deep breath and tried to center myself. A little serenity before it all hit the fan wouldn't be a bad thing. "Tris, my books," I said softly as we stood in front of the door. The whole class could see us, though Finney couldn't. Not that it'd matter much, as she'd give me hell anyway. I think she liked being miserable to me, and my better grades had just pissed her off. "Uh, Tris?" He was looking at me with this funny expression. While I was expecting several things, including a period of harassment, what I wasn't expecting was what Tristan did. He grabbed me, and kissed me. Passionately. A full-body contact kiss, the kind people do just before they start ripping each other's clothes off. I melted into it and kissed back with vigor. I'd wanted our first real kiss to be special and, damn me if it wasn't. Can't get more special than having the captain of the swim team kiss you full in front of a classful of stunned folks. I could hear the gasps from the room, but I didn't care right then. Tris broke the kiss, a dopey grin on his face. "See you after class," he said. He tucked a photo in my t-shirt pocket, then turned and loped down the hall. I just watched him go. The lovable doofus. "If you'd care to join us, Mr. Wright?" The class' reaction must've made Finney notice I was there. "Oh, right. Sure," I said. I practically floated into the room. Damn that man could kiss. The room was buzzing softly with hushed conversation, but I just didn't care. I'd found my center, and Tristan was it. I went through class in a lucid daze. I felt like it was all a strange, sorta surreal dream, but I was in control, or at least moving the right ways. Finney tried to trip me up a half-dozen times, but it didn't matter

Mmm, high school drama, what fun! Anyway this: really sums up the problem. Your best friend isn't a football, and you're not playing capture the flag with Lorena. Treat it like some sort of competition and you're guaranteed to lose. For whatever reason he's hung up on her and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Which, I will freely admit, sucks, but there you go. Having said that, stop playing the damn game with her. From what you've described she's getting off on it as much as she is twisting your friend around her finger. So... stop playing. Be nice, be polite, and when she gets involved leave. And make it (politely!) clear you're going because of her. Sitting in the cafeteria and they come over? Say hi, and ask her politely to go sit somewhere else. If she doesn't, get your stuff together and leave. At a football game or whatever and they stop by? Be nice and ask she goes somewhere else. If not, get up and move. If you don't want to go, ask them both to go sit somewhere else. Do that especially if she starts enjoying forcing you out of places. If you're out with him doing stuff and she calls, get him to bring you home first and if he won't then bug out yourself and call someone else for a ride or walk home or whatever. At some point he will clue in that something's up (likely the first time you ask them both to go away) and get pissy about it. You will get, in one form or another, a "you're making me choose!" accusation, if he doesn't just go missing entirely. When it comes, be clear that you're not making him choose. You don't like Lorena. You're not obligated to. Since you don't, you're not going to spend time around her. That's your choice, not Justin's. You aren't forcing him to choose -- he can do whatever the hell he wants. You're the one choosing, and you choose to not spend time with someone you don't like. And yeah, you may lose him over this, but I'd bet not. If he's as good a friend as you say he used to be, at some point he'll clue in to the fact that he's been yanking you around to cater to his girlfriend, and you've chosen to not be yanked around any more. He'll either accomodate you, or he won't. If he does, great, and if not then it's better to get it over with now. It's possible you may have to decide whether you're willing to make some accomodations of your own for him. Basically you need to draw your boundaries and make it clear you want him to respect them. If you can manage this without heat (which will be very tough, but try as hard as you possibly can to be calm and not get upset whenever this happens) you've got a damn good chance of this all working out relatively well, and if it doesn't work out you'll at least have tried and will ultimately be spared the hassle of having to deal with her. Getting into pissing matches with a friend's SO always dooms you to misery. That's what you're doing with Lorena. So... put it back in your pants, there's no way to 'win' this one, and playing just gets your shoes wet. -Dan

Yep, more of the story I'm not gonna finish (I think). Again, more viewpoint shifts and missing sections, so it's mildly but not entirely comprehensible. And I still seem to be freaking the rich text editor widget out. Strangest Places <h1>Scene: The kiss in public</h1> [Justin] It was a nice day. Spring was coming, and the weather'd turned warm early. Tristan and I had met at the park by the library, and were just sort of hanging out. "So you planning on going to college?" "Me? Dunno. Never really thought about it before. Doubt it." "Why?" <h1>Scene: The beating</h1> [Justin] {Should this even be in the final version? Might have more impact if it isn't. Hard to say} <h1>Scene: Aftermath</h1> [Tristan] <Ring!> I jumped when the phone rang. I'd been dozing in my bedroom, US history putting me to sleep again. It'd been hours since I'd heard from Justin, and I was starting to get worried. I felt kinda bad, since I'd freaked him a little at the park. But we were supposed to be studying for a test next week. I reached over and snagged the phone before the second ring, in case Dad was in the middle of something. "Speak to me!" "T-tristan?" I could barely make out the voice on the other end. It was badly muffled and sounded like whoever it was had a mouthful of cotton. Sounded kinda familiar, though. "Yep, that's me." There wasn't any response, though I could hear what sounded like ragged breathing. "Hello? Who is this?" I was starting to wonder if this was one of Scotty's pranks. "t-t-tristan." The voice came again. It still sounded awful, and was really hard to make out. There was pain in it, though. "help?" I wracked my brain trying to figure out who it was. They sounded in a bad way, though. "Sure. Who is this?" A painful sob came from the other end. "n-n-never mind." That's when it hit me who it sounded like. "Justin? Is that you?" "y-yeah." "What happened, man?" Justin had to be in pretty bad shape if I couldn't even recognize his voice on the phone. "You in an accident?" I had a picture of him leaning up against a phone booth, all bloody from a car wreck or something. Smashed up because of me. "Dad. Hit me." I went cold then. I'd met Justin's dad a few times, and I didn't like him at all. He was a nasty bastard, and built like a brick. If he'd beaten Justin up he could be in real bad straits. "Where are you?" "h-h-home." I knew where Justin lived. It was on the other side of town, but it was late and I could get there in five minutes if I didn't hit traffic or get pulled over. "Will you be OK until I can get there? Should I call the cops?" "No!" I could hear the pain in his voice. "n-no cops. I'll be OK." Like hell, I thought, but I didn't say it. "Hold tight, then. I'll be right over." I hung up the phone, grabbed my jacket off the bed, and ran out of my room. I took the stairs in three steps, and almost skidded into the wall when I hit the throw rug at the bottom. "Dad! Gotta go! I'll be back in a bit!" I yelled as I careened through the living room and hall towards the garage. "Hey, hey!" Dad popped his head out of the kitchen. "Slow down, you'll get hurt that way!" "No time, Dad. Gotta go." I ran past him, but he grabbed my shoulder as I went past. Once he's got a grip on something it won't move unless he wants it to, and I wasn't any exception to that rule. "Tris! Stop. What's going on?" He looked worried

I think you're handling this pretty much as best as possible. You can't and shouldn't press David to have a relationship with his family, but his little sister was awfully young when all the crap went down, and it's been a very long time, at least for her. Acting as a screen for him, checking her out first, seems like a reasonable thing. What you oughta do is bring Chaz and Selene with you. Have Selene sitting off in the corner somewhere, and make it a point to lay a good solid kiss on Chaz while you're there. Her reaction ought to tell you a lot. (Plus there's the excuse to kiss Chaz -- I can't imagine that being a hardship ) After that David can decide what he wants to do. I can certainly understand him not wanting to have anything to do with her, but family is nice to have if they're not people whose bodies you want to leave in a ditch somewhere,

I think everyone's got it right -- Green's got it for you bad, Chaz, and it's not going away. You're safe there. On the other hand, I'm not sure you should be entirely worry-free. Given the tendency of drama to happen around him, you may find you're going to get a call from the police about an unfortunate incident involving Green, Julio, the Latvian midget snowboarding team, a donkey, and two tons of coconut custard. That's an entirely different problem, though...

Who's not posted can be found by doing a search on the members list. You can sort by number of posts, and it's just a quick bit of math to see how many pages of people have zero posts plus the stragglers on the last page where some do and some don't.