Confounded: Part II - 22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22 --==Kit’s POV==--

There was no way I could concentrate, the following day. I was working at the office, or at least trying to, but that last remark of Tom’s and the display of his own hard on; it did things to my mind that just wouldn’t leave me alone. Images of it constantly shot through my mind’s eye, making me all hot and bothered. And that nipple ring! I had never liked seeing those on someone, but now I was imagining my tongue doing all sorts of wicked things with it, making him squirm with pleasure. I was seriously losing it, here.

I still couldn’t believe I’d done that; crawl on top of him and basically maul him like that. In my sleep, no less! And then his reaction to it; he hadn’t been embarrassed or angry or even seemed ashamed of his own excitement. And that was what made my heart thud heavily and kept my thoughts constantly going to him.

What’d it been like, kissing him? Did he kiss me back? How did he taste? Had he enjoyed it? Had I? Well, obviously I had…

“Figures,” I muttered to myself, moving my mouse because the screen had gone dark for the umpteenth time, “I kiss the first guy I like and have no recollection of it, whatsoever. Just perfect.”

That I liked Tom was now beyond doubt; I did. More than liked him; I wanted him, sexually. Why, how, when…I could question it a thousand times but the answer remained blank. So I could either accept it and move on with it, take it in stride and see where it lead.

What bothered me the most, though, was that it hadn’t seemed to bother him at all. So what did that mean? Did he like me too? Did he want me to do something? What would he do if I tried to kiss him, fully aware and very much awake? Would he want me? And what would he want me to do? Would he let me take him?

I groaned softly when the thought made my body react instantly again. I’d been at half mast all morning, and it was beginning to get seriously awkward. I’d remained in my chair until I’d had to go relieve myself, and hadn’t dared look at anyone as I hurried towards the men’s room, sporting wood as I went. It took ages to die down, before I could finally empty my bladder.

“Trust the most annoying guy in the world to be the one doing this to me. He should be punished for it,” I muttered on, and there I went again. Images of me punishing him, in the most fun ways, shot in front of my eyes. “Jesus!”

Saying that last loud enough, and leaning back in my chair, it caused Dad to stick his head around the door, curiously looking at me.

“What’s going on, son?”
I shot right back up to a normal sitting position, feeling my cheeks go hot.

“Uch, it’s this program not doing what I want it to do,” I quickly fibbed.

“Maybe you should take a break,” he suggested, looking at his watch. “I’ll be an hour before I can go to lunch with you, so feel free to just go ahead and eat without me.”

Perhaps that was a good idea. Get out of here, and into the open air. Clear my thoughts.
Nodding, I grabbed my jacket, checking my pocket for my wallet, and left.

**********

Once outside, I started walking a route that many co-workers also took around the block during lunch break, mostly in pairs or sometimes three. I preferred to usually go with and just wheedle them for information, tips and whatnot, if I didn’t go to lunch with dad. Today, though, I was glad to be alone, waving an invite away and just walking on my own.

Tom would probably have a field day with this if he could see me now, all out of whack. It would be even worse if he knew he was the cause of it.

‘Nice going, Gilmore, real smooth,” I chided myself, mumbling.

Coming up on a branch of Subway, I produced my wallet, and went inside, queuing in line. As I waited, I produced my phone and flipped it open to check; there was one message.
Chiding myself once again for always turning it off, Taylan’s pet peeve with me, I frowned when I didn’t recognize the number. Thumbing the sound on and then the message, I brought it to the fore.

[Still embarrassed?]

He’d sent it about an hour ago. It took me almost five minutes to come up with an answer, sending it as I walked out with my lunch, four minutes and fifty seconds of it debating if I should answer at all.

<yes>

His answer didn’t take long in waiting, and almost made me choke on the sandwich.

[Relax man, besides; as our resident boy scout, it’s normal for you to be good at rubbing wood. ;)]

Glaring at the small screen, I could just imagine him having his best day at my expense.

<It’s not funny!> I answered back, pressing the buttons harder than was necessary, furiously chewing.

[Kinda is and dude…I was there? Had the same problem? Don’t see me getting bent all out of shape over it, do you? No, you don’t. Lighten up.]

I didn’t even bother answering that, continuing my sandwich but inside I was seething. Mad at myself, mad at him. Mad at my body for betraying me the way that it had…
The phone chirped again.

[Anyway, I wanted to say thanks. For last night. And not telling them. We cool?]
Bah. Just as I was about to mentally take him apart, there he went serious. Jackass.

<Sure. Btw, we need to talk>

[Oh noes…he’s breaking up with me! *cries*] came the reply.
I rolled my eyes. Moron.

<Can you be serious for a minute? It’s important. My room. Tonight.>

[Always so serious. Fine. Will be there. Got rubbers? :p]

Uch! I didn’t even bother with that one and flipped the phone closed, automatically having turned off the sound again as well. I had no desire to continue that conversation.

Because he actually had me thinking of buying some…

**********

I went looking for Tom when he still hadn’t shown up an hour after dinner, which had been somewhat of a quiet affair. Both Tay and dad kept giving me looks, nodding to Tom, silently telling me to go ask about going to therapy.

I’d covered most of the grounds, and even had gone back into the house several times to check his room, went out again, at last finding him at the entrance of the driveway and at first, I didn’t see him; then a puff of smoke wafted out from behind one of the two main pillars on which the gates were hung.

“Tom?” I called, softly so as to not startle him.

“Here,” he answered back, equally soft.

Approaching, I looked around the pillar, seeing him sitting on the ground, leaning with his back against the cold smooth stone. A cigarette dangled between the fingers of his right hand, which rested on the knee of a pulled up leg.

“You been here all this time?” I asked, pointedly looking at the ground near him; at least ten cigarette butts were lying there.

“Yeah…”

“I didn’t know you smoked,” I said.
In answer, he took a long draw and inhaled deeply, sending the stub flying away, expelling the smoke through his nose.

“Now you do.”

“I thought you were coming to my room? I waited for an hour…”

“Sorry; you didn’t specify a time.”

“Fair enough. Mind if I sit here, then?”
He shrugged.

“Your house.”

“Yours too, for the moment,” I replied.

I took a position next to him, letting myself slide down against the pillar until I sat on the ground and both of us remained silent for a while.

“About last night,” I began, absentmindedly playing with the tip of my tie; I hadn’t changed since coming back from the office.

“Why did you kiss me?” he then asked. “Were you really sleeping or was that just a cover?”
Choosing my words carefully, I answered.

“Trust me; had I been awake, you’d have known. I was really sleeping. As for the reason…”
I halted there, insecure but guessing now was as good a time as any to just come right out and say it. Hiding it any longer might just make it worse, later on.
“I think I’ve seen the real you in the last few weeks, especially last night, and he’s a very different guy from the ’normal’ you; the ass and the jerk. This you is someone I like…”

“A wuss, crying like a baby?” He answered with disgust. “Of course you would; he’s you.”
I ignored that.

“No, he’s a guy who isn’t afraid to show someone how he feels, instead of hiding behind a poisonous tongue and attitude to match.”
Turning to fully face him, I waited until he looked at me.
“Why do you want people to believe that you’re the jerk they think you are?”
The muscles in his jaw worked for a while.
“Because it’s obviously not true. So you can stop being one, because I’m not buying it for another second.”
He regarded me for a long time.

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re very mature for someone our age?”
I smirked, sourly.

“More than once.”
A corner of his mouth pulled up a little.

“I can see why…good trait.”

“Thank you.”

He reached for the pack of cigarettes laying beside him and produced another one, but he didn’t light it, just toying with it between his fingers. Without him seeing it, I palmed the pack and crushed it in my hand, then laid it out of sight.

“Is that what attracted you in Miguel?” I asked, curious to know.
For a small fleeting second he seemed to guard up but when his eyes met mine and saw nothing there but curiosity, he leaned back and rested his head against the pillar, looking pensively at me.

“Maybe…”

“Can I ask you something personal?”

“Go for it.”

“When did you find out you liked guys?”
He raised an eyebrow.

“When did you?” he fired back, instantly.
Fine. Quid pro quo.

“Last year.”

“When I was fifteen, but I wasn't fully sure until I met Miguel,” the answer came.

“Love at first sight?”
I felt a little pang of guilt when an unreasonable amount of jealousy shot through me because I had no right to feel it.

“No. Lust.”
That caused me to just stare at him.
“He was hot,” he continued, not ashamed or embarrassed at all. “Never had that feeling with girls, so that told me enough. Uncle T made it easier to accept it about myself.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I guess I know what you mean. Did you…”

“What…?”

“Did you guys have…you know…”
I didn’t ask outright if they’d ever been intimate; I wanted to know and at the same time not.

“Have sex? Yes.”
Lighting the cigarette, he let the smoke escape through his nose and regarded me with hooded eyes.
“You?”

“Haven’t had a boyfriend yet.”
Another raise of an eyebrow.

“No wonder you basically rutted yourself almost to an orgasm against me, then.”
My cheeks burned up over that one. Jerk.
“Can’t say I envy the guy you end up having your first time with; you’ll blow within seconds.”
I couldn’t help but smirk at the dry tone with which he delivered that last.

“I’m sure you’d know all about that. Jackass.”
He inclined his head.

“Touché.”
I grinned and then grew curious, remembering something.

“Weren’t you a minor, back then?”

“Yeah. We did the other stuff, at first. Then it just…happened.”

“Hmm,” I agreed, nodding. “Can I ask you something else?”

“Why not go for broke, huh?”

“Since it’s kinda out in the open now, this whole thing with Miguel…telling Tay, me…we think it might be a good idea for you to see a psych. Would you consider going? For yourself as much as your family? Maybe even…for me?”
Tom tensed at that one, frowning at me.

“For you? Why do you care so much?”
Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and then took his advice. I went for broke, as he’d suggested.

“For all that high-powered brain does for you, you don’t seem to be able to get it, do you? I care because I’m nuts about you…”
When he didn’t react to that, just simply stared, I plowed on.
“But nothing can happen between us if you can’t come to grips with what happened with Miguel.”

“What makes you think I’d want something to happen? And…with you? Get real.”
That angered me. Seriously?

“Oh please; I wasn’t the only one this morning with a hard on; you liked it! You even said it! You didn’t leave while you had every chance to do so. And one other thing; don’t act all high and mighty and dismiss it because you think you know me. You don’t. Here’s an idea; get to know me. You’ll see that I’m good for you. No, I’d be damn good for you!”

His mouth had become a thin line, his lips pressed together tightly.

“You wanna know what I think?” I continued, without waiting for a reply. “I think you’ve already considered it and are afraid of what would happen if you let it. That’ I’d replace Miguel in here.”
The idea had suddenly popped in my head and it made perfect sense to me.

Reaching out, I put my hand flat over his heart, feeling its beat, steady if a little fast. Turning his head, he blinked fast a couple of times and then looked down when I caught a flash of something in his eyes. That’s when I knew it. I’d hit it, dead center.

“I’m right, aren’t I? Look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong.”

“Fuck you.”
I pushed on, ignoring that.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Tom. Tell me you’ve not thought about it and that I’m the only one falling like a ton of bricks for someone I never thought possible. You.”
He closed his eyes and thumped his head against the pillar, and not too softly either.
“You can’t, can you?

“Dammit…would you stop?”

“Why?”

“I don’t need this right now!”

“What…”

“You, being perfect. I hate that. “

I stared at him then, my heart actually skipping a beat. It didn’t even feel that nice, to be honest. But was he saying…

“Are you admitting that you like me?”
And for the first time I ever experienced, Tom Slattery had no idea where to look.
“I think I deserve an answ...”

He didn’t even allow me to finish; suddenly he reached out and grabbed my loosened tie, yanking me forward and planting a kiss square on my lips retreating just as quick.

“There. Fine. You’re right. About all of it. Happy now?”
Blinking, I was still processing that one as he got to his feet.
“Now leave me alone.”

“Tom! Dammit….TOM!” I yelled after him, scrambling to my feet.
By the time I’d turned, he was nowhere in sight.